Five people who should never be Mayor. Of anywhere.
Mayors are an integral and important part of our political process. Who else would bin the bin emptiers? Who else would wear the oversized ceremonial necklaces? Who else would weigh in ponderously on whether a significant tree is dead or just resting?
So despite the obvious fact that you can put just about anyone in the position, you can’t just put ANYONE in the position. Here is a short list of people who should be ruled out of ever being Mayor of Anywhere.
1. Kim Kardashian. She reportedly wants to run for Mayor of Glendale, California.
It would be vaguely entertaining, one imagines, having a vacuous, good looking mayor. We could chortle condescendingly as she comes up with hare-brained schemes to have drive-through divorces and to broadcast a spiced-up version of council meetings.
Ultimately, though, she’s just another one of these beautiful people that feel they have to somehow justify their existence in the real world by developing the veneer of a third dimension.
2. John Abbott – mayoral candidate for the Gold Coast.
Abbott was the leader of a male vigilante group, the Blackshirts, a groups that campaigned for adultery to be punishable by death. You can forgive a lot in a Mayor. You could forgive his stalking conviction, he has paid his dues. But being part of a fringe extremist group like the Blackshirts should knock him out of contention. Even in Queensland.
3. Alec Baldwin. He was rumoured to be running for New York City as mayor, then ruled it out. But today he said he may, after all, seek political office.
Baldwin’s a smart guy. He’s a funny, charming guy who is engaged in many social issues. He’d probably be a great Mayor. But if he has any spare time then he should just make more episodes of 30 Rock. The end.
4. Ken Livingstone, former Mayor of London, who wants his old job back.
Sometimes known as ‘Red Ken’, Livingstone has had two mayoral terms already, so in a sense he’s had his shot. And it looks like he jumped the shark going for his third round when he said challenging Boris Johnson would give the voting public “a simple choice between good and evil”. “I don’t think it’s been so clear since the great struggle between Churchill and Hitler,” he said, thereby proving that like so already-rans he has a far too trumped-up idea of his own importance.
5. Ita Buttrose confirmed last year she was considering going up against Clover Moore in Sydney.
Buttrose is a great woman who has achieved remarkable things in her career, and no one can say that women’s magazines are anything but an incredibly positive and hefty contribution to society and birthday cakes and self esteem. But in all honesty she got her bounce from Paper Giants, that fabulous series with that really fabulous Asher Keddie. So while it may appear that she would be popular, most of us probably just really wanted Keddie.
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