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Festival of Obvious Ideas #1: Don’t go to Bali

Anthony Sharwood

by Anthony Sharwood

17 Oct 06:00am

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Filed under: Bali, Festival Of Obvious Ideas, Travel

187 comments

Welcome to this, the first piece in The Punch’s Festival of Obvious Ideas, which will be running all week. The festival is our salute to those ideas which are so bleedingly obvious, you’ll wonder why someone didn’t write these pieces ages ago. First up this week, why we should all avoid Bali.

Australia has an ongoing romance with the small Indonesian island of Bali dating back to at least the 1970s. But all romances turn mundane and predictable over time. Or worse, they turn spiteful and malicious. When that happens, it’s time to end things.


In recent years, Australians have been detained, poisoned by dodgy drinks, rocked by earthquakes and killed by militant Islamists in Bali. In some cases, we’ve arguably put ourselves in harm’s way, but in the vast majority of cases, we have been innocent victims. Yet like the woman who stays with her abusive partner, we somehow can’t stay away from Bali.

There is a perfectly good argument that Bali is a tropical paradise. You can go there and have a wonderful escape without stupidly buying drugs or going to bars where ugly Australians carry on like sambal pork chops. You can also do that in, oh, about a million other places in south east Asia.

The upshot of all this is simple. Don’t go to Bali. Get over it. Bali is just not worth the risk. That’s hardly fair for the tens of thousands of good-natured Balinese who have built livelihoods servicing Australian tourists. Tough. A lot of things that happen to Australians there aren’t fair either.

I have never been to Bali. That’s an admission which may prompt some to say I have no right to pen this column. Don’t care. Just as you don’t need to read Eat, Pray, Love to know it’s a steaming pile of horse manure, you don’t need to go to Bali to know you don’t want to go to Bali.

Fact is, we have been inundated for decades with samples of Balinese food, architecture, trinkets and god knows what else. Redgum’s famous song “I’ve been to Bali too” lampooned the fact that there is precious little in the way of a unique cultural experience for any Australian in Bali, and that was 27 years ago.

Suffice to say, there has been no rich seam of undiscovered Balinese culture unearthed since then. Indeed, the place has just gotten more Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oi, Oi, Oi.

You have to wonder if many Australians even realise Bali is in another country. A friend who went there once was told by a customs official that he was the first person of an entire planeload of Aussies to write “Indonesia” in the box marked Country of Arrival.

There is another reason not to go to Bali, and it’s the most blindingly obvious reason imaginable. We have beaches in Australia. Fantastic beaches. Surf beaches and flat beaches. Hip beaches with a beautiful crowd and wild empty beaches with no one in sight. Beaches, beaches, beaches.

Just two weeks ago I was on a quiet NSW north coast beach where the water was warm, the sands empty and the children happy. Twice on this beach I saw a sea eagle catch a large silver fish and carry it back to its nest in its talons. Personally, I find that kind of encounter far more enticing than the prospect of sharing the sand with a horde of hungover 20-somethings.

But let’s be totally honest here. The main reason so many of us travel to Bali is that we’re all instant millionaires the minute we get there, due to the purchasing power of the Oz dollar versus the Indonesian rupiah.

At home, life is a struggle and the bills keep rolling in. In Bali, we unshackle ourselves not just from the daily grind but from our economic circumstances. For a few hundred bucks on Jetstar flights and the same again on hotels, we’ve got all the spending money in the world for a week of piss and trinkets. You don’t get that in Australian beach towns. Not unless you camp.

So sure, if you want to see Dazza pashing Shazza while Khe Sanh blazes in the background in some Kuta nightclub, good luck to you. But if you ask me, that sounds like the sort of thing you can do at home.

Why take the last plane out of Sydney all the way to Denpasar for the dubious privilege? Especially when it might be the last plane you ever catch.

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187 comments

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    • Mahhrat says:

      05:17am | 17/10/11

      “But let’s be totally honest here. The main reason so many of us travel to Bali is that we’re all instant millionaires the minute we get there, due to the purchasing power of the Oz dollar versus the Indonesian rupiah.”

      So many words, just to say this.  Not efficient, Ant.  Right, but not efficient.

      Still the point, though.

      Reply

    • ZSRenn says:

      09:19am | 17/10/11

      So much time wasted just to prove your a twat Mahhrat.
      The really sad part is, most of us already knew.

    • Mayday says:

      09:47am | 17/10/11

      “You can go there and have a wonderful escape without stupidly buying drugs ”  I think the point of this piece of “obvious Ideas” is the 14 year old and his parents are idiots.

      Went to Bali with friends in 1982 and we took our own pot with us - we were told many times not to buy over there because the “dealers” were in cahoot with the police!
      Here we are three decades later and ‘wiser’ with the publicity given to Shappelle Corby et al and this happens again?!?!

      This family shouldn’t be allowed to leave home.

    • Mahhrat says:

      09:59am | 17/10/11

      @ZSRenn: you’re*

    • neo says:

      10:42am | 17/10/11

      Never wanted to go to Bali, and now, I definitely never will. If you’re gonna spend any money on travel, you may as well spend a little more and go to Europe, where there is culture, history, good night life and things to actually do and see.

      Or you can go to a 3rd world country and get poisoned with toxic cocktails / get a life sentence for carrying around parts of a common plant / get arrested for stealing a coaster…

    • Rick of the Dustbowl says:

      11:32am | 17/10/11

      Mayday so you think undercover cops selling drugs to a minor is OK?
      If the cops in this country tried this they would be run out of the police force. The Indo cops are just as dodgey as the rest of the country. The only mistake the kid made was to not pay the bribe money I’ve no dout the cops were expecting. A good way to avoid any trouble just dont go there.

    • Vaunted says:

      02:11pm | 17/10/11

      @Rick of the DB, I wouldn’t like to visit Bali or any other place inhabited by nasty, grubby and corrupt foreigners with someone like you. Your innate sense of racial rectitude would be sure to get us deep in the poo within the first 5 minutes.

    • Kenny says:

      02:41pm | 17/10/11

      @ Neo - congratulations on believing the media. Asia is a beautiful place the guy who wrote this has basically no idea on how things really are but yet we all fall for the media hype. Bali isn’t that bad its actually nice but people who buy drugs or get drinks spiked at basically to blame for years of bad behaviour from Australian tourists with bad manners. Saying that not everyone is bad and there is plenty to see in Asia for a cheap holiday but if you insist on spending thousands of dollars more going to Europe then you can but before people actually decide to judge a country for being 3rd world and having problems look at our own back yard where going out in our cities to a bar or club and getting glassed in the face seems to be a regular occurrence where in Asia or other countries i have never seen any of that happen once.

    • neo says:

      03:28pm | 17/10/11

      I’d love to visit Japan and mainland China (especially Shanghai and Tibet) one day, but Bali… Come on, some island that recently came out of tribalhood and transmorphed itself into a big pub for the Aussies. No thanks, if I want to be around that type of crowd, I’d just go out in Mt Druitt.

      The whole toxic cocktails and police entrapment / backwards laws on soft drugs only solidified my resolve to avoid that part of the world.

    • Rick of DB says:

      03:52pm | 17/10/11

      Vaunted I don’t remember asking you but I wouldn’t go anywhere with you either. I never thought of going anywhere in the third world but went to India for work in 2004 and came back alive, how about you?

    • St. Michael says:

      04:26pm | 17/10/11

      The amusing part is all the lefties protesting about the poor, the downtrodden, and Soshul Inequllitee are usually the same ones who keep screaming “Go to Bali! It’s so CHEEEEP, maaate!”

      Principles fail.
      Hypocrisy: successful download.

    • Vaunted says:

      05:29pm | 17/10/11

      @Rick I’ve worked in Sumatra, the PNG Highlands, Irian Jaya, Bougainville, India (Jharkhan), Botswana, British Columbia, Turkey, South Africa, Kentucky, Georgia (US), the UK and Vietnam. I got back okay also, and I still wouldn’t want to be anywhere near you.

    • hellodrugsareillegal says:

      11:25am | 18/10/11

      mayday - yoiu took your own pot….? i can see why you use that name! so did corby…!

    • LauraBoBaura says:

      02:38pm | 18/10/11

      Kenny. You say : ‘congratulations on believing the media’ 

      you then go on to say:

      ‘where going out in our cities to a bar or club and getting glassed in the face seems to be a regular occurrence’ - Gee, wonder who told you that going out in Aus was unsafe, was it… the media, by any chance?!

      congratulations on believing the media, Kenny.

    • Rick says:

      02:19pm | 19/10/11

      Vaunted like I said I never invited you to go anywhere with me but there is one place I would suggest you go!

    • Carz says:

      05:22am | 17/10/11

      “Yet like the woman who stays with her abusive partner, we somehow can’t stay away from Bali.”

      Because of course a cheap overseas holiday is so much like the dynamics of domestic violence. What a heartless analogy.

      Reply

    • Erick says:

      07:10am | 17/10/11

      What a sexist analogy. Men are just as likely to be abused as women. Sharwood’s story perpetuates the “gendered violence” myth.

    • marley says:

      07:11am | 17/10/11

      A cheap overseas holiday with the potential for being ripped off, arrested or bombed, vs a superficially attractive relationship with the potential for being beaten or abused.  Seems to me a fair analogy, actually.

    • Carz says:

      08:13am | 17/10/11

      The obviously marley you have never been in an abusive relationship. Hopefully you never will be as that would be learning the difference the hard way.

    • marley says:

      08:42am | 17/10/11

      @Carz - No, I’ve never experienced domestic abuse. I haven’t been thrown into a Bali jail or caught in a nightclub bombing either.  Domestic abuse is a terrible thing, but many people can’t seem to break away from the abuser.  Tourists in Bali find themselves at risk,but keep going back for more.  That’s where the analogy lies.  I don’t think it in any way belittles the impact of domestic abuse.

    • gobsmack says:

      08:48am | 17/10/11

      The correct metaphor is that of male client (Australia) of ageing prostitute (Bali).
      Exploitation on both sides.  Not as good as it once was.

    • pete says:

      05:23am | 17/10/11

      i agree, don’t go. if the australians stopped going it would probably be a decent place.

      Reply

    • Coop says:

      01:47pm | 17/10/11

      Agree. The only thing wrong with Bali is Australians

    • Dave says:

      04:04pm | 17/10/11

      The irony is that there are dozens and dozens of really beautiful beach resorts -mostly islands off the coasts - all over Indonesia that are as good as Bali and dont have hordes of Australians running amok on them. A simple google of “indonesian island resorts” will show you a few. And, yes, they are, by and large, better than most Australian beaches. Europeans and Americans tends to favour them over Bali.

    • acotrel says:

      06:01am | 17/10/11

      I’ve never been to Bali, and I certainly don’t need to be told to stay away from there !  The Fijians are lovely people, even when they are having a military coup.  A much better option, I think !

      Reply

    • iMitchy says:

      11:27am | 17/10/11

      It depends what you enjoy. I did Bali in August and Fiji in September this year and I much preferred Bali. There was so much more to see and do and it was a hell of a lot cheaper.
      People might say “it doesn’t have any culture” or “you can do that here” but I didn’t go for the culture and I’ve done ‘that’ here and to be honest it was better doing it in Bali.
      It just takes a little bit of common sense when you’re overseas to stay out of trouble. Obviously you can’t avoid being bombed if it so happens, but it’s not hard to stay on the right side of the law in places like Bali even if you’re a total peanut. The laws are pretty relaxed, it’s just the punishments that are harsh if you do choose to do the wrong thing.

    • John Stuart Mill says:

      11:59am | 17/10/11

      Shirley you can’t be serious. Did Fiji in 1984, some of the laziest, most charmless people I’ve ever met, living in a sh*thole.

    • GT says:

      10:42am | 18/10/11

      I agree. Fiji is a bit more expensive, but the people are way nicer and it is way more beautiful. I guess if you are a young person wanting to party you would pick Bali but for the love of God I can’t see any other reason why you’d go to Indonesia!

    • Fiddler says:

      06:09am | 17/10/11

      Ummm because like you said we become instant millionaires? For those of us on a normal income we go to anything touristy in Australia and pay insane amounts. As for all the people who die/get locked up over there how many die each year on the roads to their holiday in Australia?
      Despite all the snobbery some people like being able to go somewhere which is a bit different to home but still with a lot of similarities and have a simple good time without having to take out a second mortgage. As for the place being full of pissed bogans, well so is every pub in Australia on a Saturday night. Some people like going on a holiday for the time they have there not so they can partake in the smug self-satisfied stories boasting about some little village in that back of Derka-Derkastan they backpacked through.

      Reply

    • Paul says:

      09:19am | 17/10/11

      Go to Fiji then.

    • Gratuitous Adviser says:

      06:47am | 17/10/11

      Anthony, I will be a little more direct.  I know it is snobbish but I am proud to say that I have not been to Bali because I do not want to associate with the worst kind of Australian, the yobbo.  I have no problem with Bali itself but I do not want to have anything to do with overweight, uncultured, loudmouthed, tattooed, uneducated people with bleached hair and pins in their nose and who consider showing their bum crack to be a fashion statement and their life’s ambition to be a season ticket holder to “Sharks” games and their ability to get pissed more times than their father, if they can find him.  Luckily, and overall, there are not too many of these ambassadors travelling because they only can only afford an overseas adventure once, with Bali or Bangkok (for the culture) being it.  The pokies or the horses will generally get the rest of their money.

      Reply

    • David The Mac says:

      07:30am | 17/10/11

      Yikes!  Generalize, much?

    • Pisspot says:

      07:34am | 17/10/11

      This is true and most certainly not snobbish. It is only a natural instinct to avoid the lowest common denominator. Places like Indonesia and Thailand are magnets for dumb yobs all over this country. Over the last couple of years Ive noticed that for the more cashed up dumb yob - Las Vegas has also become a favourite destination. It figures - theres nothing like a plastic, souless, artificial, horrible place to attract morons. Gold Coast anyone?

    • Gratuitous Adviser says:

      08:25am | 17/10/11

      Hi David the Mac - True, I did generalise but I really do feel embarrassed when these people appear O/S and proudly advertise that they are metaphorically Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi, Oi, Oi, to one and sundry.  It’s the “Ugly American” of a generation ago stereotype that I hope we can mature past quickly.  The saving grace is that they tend to go to the Bali’s of this world and are proportionally small in number.

    • bloke says:

      09:26am | 17/10/11

      if you go anywhere cheap, you’ll bump into these ozzie skip bogans. so, its best you avoid them at all costs. thats not to say that you don’t get them in upmarket places. the bogan’s purchasing (credit) power is getting better, but to stop them from getting too confident, one has to move the bar higher (and more expensive) to keep them away.

    • DF says:

      09:49am | 17/10/11

      This is crap form someone who has never been.  Many rich Europeans go to Bali for the beauty and the beautiful people. You are all talking through your backsides especially if you have never been!!

    • Jane2 says:

      10:52am | 17/10/11

      It depends on where in Bali you go. If you hang around Kuta and the beach resorts, then yes all you see is the bogans, if you go inland then you see the real Bali AND avoid the drunk yobos.

      Yobos like Bali because tehy feel liek kings but are surrounded by their own countrymen so its not threateningly foreign…unlike many other areas of Asia where you could be the only westerner in town and need to have to get by with bad sign language and cherades (sp?) as no-one speaks English

      But on the bright side we know where the yobos like to go which means more of the rest of the world is safe to explore

    • Anne71 says:

      12:39pm | 17/10/11

      Unfortunately, Gratuitous Adviser, those yobboes are not just confined to Bali any more.  They’re finding their way to the UK and Europe these days. They’re easy to spot - they’ve usually got the Australian flag or some other “patriotic” symbol somewhere about their person, just to make sure that everyone they meet knows where they come from (as if they care) and will burst into a chorus of “aussie aussie aussie” at the slightest provocation, regardless of the time or place (here’s a hint: If you really must do it, anywhere that is not a sporting event - and then only one in which Australia is participating - is not the time or place).
      No wonder we’re getting a reputation internationally of being ignorant, redneck bogans.

    • David says:

      01:59pm | 17/10/11

      funny, you hate the people so much, whom help you maintain your status!
      I’m pretty sure these kind of people fit in well over in the tourist-heavy areas of south east Asia, which when looked at in a hole are nothing but masters of counterfeit products & rip offs , they just have no tax and far less operating costs.

    • KP says:

      02:13pm | 17/10/11

      Actually Anne71, I have travelled many times with the Australian flag stitched to my backback because it helps illustrate that I am not an American. It comes in handy when you’re having racist, anti-American insults thrown at you in less touristy areas of SE Asia, especially China.

    • mel says:

      02:28pm | 17/10/11

      You have not been to Bali because you are a judgemental moron. Because somewhere in that ‘educated’ head of yours, you are under the impression that the entire island is swarming with sweaty yobbo Australians who expose their ‘butt-crack’. You want to unveil the beauty of a peaceful traditional island? Head out to one of the remote towns and avoid Kuta/Legian like the plague if you have to. I just don’t understand why people like you have to continuously paint Bali so negatively.

    • Tezza says:

      09:50am | 18/10/11

      “I have not been to Bali . . . .” How stupid must you be G. A. (and Anthony Sharwood also) to be commenting upon a place you have never visited. I went there first in 1976. Bali is a beautiful and enjoyable place to visit, although parts of Bali have a lot in common with parts of Kings Cross or the Gold Coast, so I would personally avoid those areas.
      For your next article Anthony why don’t you write about what it is like to give birth; oh, I forgot - you’ve never been there or done that, so you wouldn’t have the faintest idea would you?

    • susie m says:

      02:06pm | 18/10/11

      hold on that sounds like qld, wa, nt,nsw, sa,....? i thought we were talking about bali….?

    • WTF? says:

      06:52am | 17/10/11

      WTF?

      What’s a Khe Sanh?

      Reply

    • Erick says:

      07:12am | 17/10/11

      It’s a song that’s not quite as awesome as I Was Only Nineteen.

    • TChong says:

      07:20am | 17/10/11

      A “Khe San” is a shit house song about a ( possibly) racist, mysoginist GI, not an Aussie Digger, composed with a US market in mind, hence its GI or Marine main man, sung by young pissheads who think it has some patriotic meaning
      ( and no, I’m not hating at the US, or its military, more than usual )

    • Fred says:

      08:22am | 17/10/11

      Cold Chisel are great. It’s just that song has been played a total of five hundred billion one hundred million four hundred and eighty two thousand one hundred and fifty three times. So it gets a little bit trite and hackneyed once you’re over the age of twenty two.

      Plus they ended in the early eighties so it’s kind of time to move on.

    • Fiona says:

      08:34am | 17/10/11

      Crap, it’s train, not plane

    • S.L says:

      08:36am | 17/10/11

      And I thought I was the only Aussie in his late 40s that thinks Cold Chisel (and Barnsie) suck big time!

    • kaff says:

      08:44am | 17/10/11

      It’s the “If you’re sober and they’re playing it, it’s time to go home” song.

    • Paul says:

      09:35am | 17/10/11

      TChong?
      huh? Have you listened to the lyrics? GI? Marine man? The song is all about Australia, annoying as it is.

    • Maree says:

      09:48am | 17/10/11

      Khe Sanh: Sits in my top 10 of annoying songs of all time.

    • Shane From Melbourne says:

      11:32am | 17/10/11

      Khe Sanh- A village in what was South Vietnam near the DMZ
      Battle of Khe Sanh- Primarily a siege of a U.S Marine firebase by a couple of North Vietnamese Divisions.
      The Cold Chisel song should have been about Battle of Long Tan.

    • SLF says:

      02:18pm | 17/10/11

      Khe Sanh sounds like a great name for bogans to call their kids. Hey meet the kids, Kai, Shontayne Schapelle, Jaxxxon and little Khe Sanh

    • Roddy Sexton says:

      07:09am | 17/10/11

      Never been and will never go. I like spending my money in a civilized Australia where we all know the rules.

      Reply

    • U.C Student says:

      09:28am | 17/10/11

      ignorant fool… “i like spending my money in a civilized Australua where we all know the rules” luckly people like you don’t leave Australia too often otherwise the world would have an even lower view of us.

    • Charles says:

      09:32am | 17/10/11

      Civilized Australia, what a joke!  You ever been out of your house and seen the people and tried to communicate with anybody?  I’ll be going overseas for all my holidays - where I get great service (and a smile with it) - imagine that Mr Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi, Oi Oi.

    • malohi says:

      07:19am | 17/10/11

      The dyslexic brother of the tiger from The Jungle Book.

      Reply

    • malohi says:

      07:46am | 17/10/11

      damn, that was the reply to the Khe Sahn question

    • subotic says:

      08:09am | 17/10/11

      @malohi, WINNING!!!

    • Cry in my Gin says:

      07:20am | 17/10/11

      Problem with Bali - all the tourists.

      Reply

    • Joan says:

      07:25am | 17/10/11

      What a nasty piece. Idiots abroad - idiots are idiots no matter where they travel in the world -and even when they holiday at home in Australia. The at holiday idiot is visible no matter where. Danger happens - perhaps people should stay away from Australia using your logic- overseas tourists have been murdered, eaten by crocodiles, sharks, caught using drugs, stung by jelly fish, died in car crash ,fallen of cliff face, washed off rocks , drowned in rivers or seas etc etc etc.
      There`s a million other places in the world other than Australia to be especaily NSW.  Who can forget Malat?

      Reply

    • Jase says:

      07:28am | 17/10/11

      Ah yes, the number one overseas spot for the bogans to party. At least if they are all in Bali, we don’t have to put up with them elsewhere.

      Speaking of travel and bogans, My obvious idea is for Qantas to adopt some dress standards for the Qantas Club and on board the aircraft. When I pay to travel business I really do not want to be anywhere near these plebs, on the aircraft or in the lounge.

      Reply

    • sirgaz007 says:

      08:42am | 17/10/11

      Well Jase, thats why Qantas also has the Business Lounge, as anyone who has actually paid for business class would know….....

    • marley says:

      08:47am | 17/10/11

      When I pay to travel business class I’m probably the only person in business class who actually paid for my ticket, as opposed to having my company pay for it.  And I’ll damn well wear what I want.  If you don’t like it, charter a plane.

    • Working Poor says:

      01:27pm | 17/10/11

      Qantas doesn’t fly to Bali

    • centurion48 says:

      07:33am | 17/10/11

      Bloody marvellous that all the people offering the advice not to go to Bali have never been there. Kuta is the epicentre of bad taste and trouble but Bali is not simply Kuta. Get over your snobbishness. It is the same as saying that Australia is a crap place because I went to Kings Cross and it was sleazy.
      On second thoughts, don’t change your mind. You wouldn’t appreciate any of Indonesia because it is not like Toorak or Double Bay.

      Reply

    • marley says:

      07:53am | 17/10/11

      I’ve never been to Bali, and I confess, it’s not top of my list.  But I take your point. If you want to visit Europe, you stay away from the places that attract the drunken Brits and Scandinavians.  With Indonesia and Thailand, you avoid the Kutas and the Phukets.  Both countries still have lots to offer.

    • Chris_D says:

      09:41am | 17/10/11

      Good point centurion.  Bali has some lovely locations throughout.  Indonesia itself is almost untouched by Aussies.  Some of the best scuba diving I’ve ever done was at Sulawesi, a little place called Manado.  And almost no one else there.

    • centurion48 says:

      11:13am | 17/10/11

      @Chris_D: I cycled through Sulawesi last year but let’s not tell anyone what a fabulous place it is - even though the sea lice thought me a tasty snack. Relative to other parts of Indo it was sparsely populated and has great scenery.
      Not a beer-swilling yobbo (of any nationality) in sight.

    • mel says:

      02:32pm | 17/10/11

      Nice points, the ignorant will stay ignorant though.

    • Tubesteak says:

      07:35am | 17/10/11

      ThingsBogansLike already gave a perfect explanation for why to stay away from Bali: bogans like it.

      Reply

    • ShamWow says:

      07:38am | 17/10/11

      Wow, grumpy crowd this morning.

      Reply

    • Burkha Brontarse says:

      07:39am | 17/10/11

      Anthony you going to kick a cripple today? Oh that’s right you already have.

      Reply

    • mel says:

      02:34pm | 17/10/11

      lol lol lol <3

    • Glen says:

      07:39am | 17/10/11

      WTF:

      It’s a song by Cold Chisel about a Vietnam veteran’s inability to reintegrate into suburban culture. One of Australia’s great anti-war songs (others: “I was only 19”, “And the band played Waltzing Matilda”, “Smiley”).

      Initially banned on radio for lines like “Their legs were often open, But their minds were always closed, And their hearts were held in fat suburban chains”. Famously misheard lyric: “And the last train [sic] out of Sydney’s almost gone.”

      A lot of bars were owned by vets, and they’d play this at closing time. Then the bogons got hold of it, loved it for its shock value and because of it hinted that they just might be a vet (despite their youth saying otherwise). And now its sung by drunk bogans whereever they gather.

      My local, run by a vet, these days plays the national anthem at closing, but this is known to be ironic rather than a statement of patriotism.

      Reply

    • AFR says:

      08:41am | 17/10/11

      “and there ain’t nothing like the kisses from a jaded chinese princess. I’m gonna hit some hong kogn mattress all night long” - that beings back memories.

    • Fiona says:

      07:41am | 17/10/11

      ‘a horse of hungover 20-somethings’ - my new favourite collective noun.

      Want to go to Bali but can’t afford it? Go to the Gold Coast; or Coogee; or Manly. Same sh*t, different sock.

      Reply

    • Danny B says:

      08:33am | 17/10/11

      I’d just like to point out that Surfers Paradise isn’t the entire Gold Coast, just as Kuta isn’t all of Bali.  Try looking at places around Arundel, Labrador, Burleigh Heads.

    • PJ says:

      01:22pm | 17/10/11

      @DannyB
      ... Labrador?? I’ll grant you your Burleigh, but Labrador…

    • meh says:

      07:41am | 17/10/11

      “Khe Sanh blazes in the background in some Kuta nightclub… But if you ask me, that sounds like the sort of thing you can do at home.”

      Anyone else get the image of Al sitting on his couch having a holiday in his head from Married with Children episode that screened on the weekend?

      Reply

    • gobsmack says:

      07:44am | 17/10/11

      Romance?  Are you serious?
      I think the more appropriate analogy is that Bali is like an ageing whore who, while able to ply her trade competently, is showing the signs of having serviced too many clients and who has a nasty pimp lurking in the background.

      Reply

    • Tony says:

      07:45am | 17/10/11

      You can trust that every bogan will arrive home from Bali wearing a Bin Tang singlet also.

      Reply

    • Adam Diver says:

      07:57am | 17/10/11

      Festival of Obvious ideas # 3

      Punch writers actually have knowledge of the topic they write about. I can’t wait for more travel tips from Ant about places he has never been.

      “I have never been to Bali. That’s an admission which may prompt some to say I have no right to pen this column. Don’t care. Just as you don’t need to read Eat, Pray, Love to know it’s a steaming pile of horse manure, you don’t need to go to Bali to know you don’t want to go to Bali.”

      Reply

    • NigelC says:

      09:43am | 17/10/11

      I’ve never been to the moon and I’m pretty sure the author hasn’t either. I’m guessing he would find the lunar landscape lacking in atmosphere, and I think he has an absolute right to comment.. .

    • Rubber Monkey says:

      02:04pm | 17/10/11

      Adam, I also thought that it was a little strange that the author was writing about a place he’d never been to.  Then I read his line about knowing Eat, Pray, Love being a steaming pile of horse manure despite not having seen it.  I HAVE seen Eat Pray Love and it IS a steaming pile of horse manure, so I’m willing to take this article on faith.

    • BJ of the North says:

      07:57am | 17/10/11

      What gets me about the place is that the drug buy/police bust/cash handover scam has been going on for decades, the same match box full of weed must have been bought and sold a million times since the early eighties, and lined the pockets of the suspiciously proximate Police.  Visitors must be living under a rock not to realise it.  You can be a millionaire in other places in Asia without all the rubbish in Bali, try going to Vietnam or Manilla.  They are all serviced by Jetstar and all represent far more agreeable, cleaner, less aggressive destinations.

      Reply

    • onlooker says:

      08:08am | 17/10/11

      I would not go there if you payed me..yeah its a cheap holiday but so is Australian life over there..or so it seems. New Zealand is a safer option, and it is a beautiful country, but even more beautiful is Australia and I will holiday here

      Reply

    • Ford says:

      08:09am | 17/10/11

      Yobbo’s, bogans, loudmouths…. you forgot the latest beast to take up the Bali bus - the steroid abuser!

      Reply

    • Chris_D says:

      08:18am | 17/10/11

      Don’t listen to Ant, I want all the people who go to Bali to keep going to Bali. 

      It’s bad enough they f*cked up Bali as a beautiful holiday destination, and now I haven’t been there since 1994, but now they have f*cked up some of the best parts of Thailand too.  Fortunately Vietnam is still pretty clear of most obnoxious Aussies abroad, but I fear it’s only a matter of time before they f*ck that up too.

      Keep going to Bali.  It’s close, got cheap beer and drugs are easily accessible.  Go for it!

      Reply

    • Steve says:

      08:18am | 17/10/11

      It’s dirty, they destroy the environment and their native fauna, it’s dangerous, not especially cheap and the muslim Indonesian government is ruining the place. I’ve been twice and vowed to never go again after the last visit.  You’re right about there being better places to go.

      Reply

    • Kirsty says:

      08:24am | 17/10/11

      Maybe if you still want to go to Bali the most obvious idea would be don’t take or buy drugs and get your luggage wrapped to avoid it being interfered with.

      Reply

    • Elphaba says:

      08:25am | 17/10/11

      Anthony,

      So you’ve never been, know nothing about the country besides Kuta, and feel you’re qualified to tell people how to spend their money and their holiday time?

      Go back to writing about sport.  You’re out of your league on these grown-up topics.

      Reply

    • Bogans can be grownups says:

      09:08am | 17/10/11

      grown-up topics.
      Bwahahahahahahaha
      Why are you commenting then?

    • Anna C says:

      08:25am | 17/10/11

      I have to admit that travelling to Bali has never particularly appealed to me and now with the bombings, drugs arrests, corruption and poisonings it appeals even less. I know that a lot of people say it’s a great place to holiday but I’m getting a vibe that it’s not a safe place for Aussie tourists.

      Reply

    • mel says:

      02:47pm | 17/10/11

      Why on earth would you keep listening to the media over the ‘people’? Especially in this case where a representative of the media has not even been there. I am told everyday by our government and the media that travelling to the middle east is a bad idea. Hell it may be 1000 times more unsafe than Bali but it will not stop me in the future. Isn’t life supposed to be risky and full of experience? Experience over fear.

    • Fred says:

      08:36am | 17/10/11

      They probably don’t have beer and durry tax in Indo. So to me it’s appealling already. I don’t have much money left after paying $17 for a pack of smokes.

      I can’t imagine you’d be able to stay anywhere half decent in Australia for less than $1000 a week.

      I’m not sure what’s worse, bogans or the snobby well dressed poseurs that have become caricatures due to their response to the cultural cringe. At least a bogan will want to use a 4WD for what it’s intended for.

      Reply

    • AFR says:

      08:43am | 17/10/11

      Ant, with an attitude like yours, i’m surprised you’re brave enough to get out of bed in the morning.

      Reply

    • stevekag says:

      08:46am | 17/10/11

      I know you don’t care that you have not been there but we do. You cannot write some of the bigoted, racist and totally off the mark comments you did and say i don’t care i have never been there….....I think you are arguing a point for arguments sake. I have been to Bali twice, once in my 20’s, once in my 40’s and would go again tomorrow. 
      Bali started the first coral reef rejuvenation program that Australia and 20 other nations have now commenced doing, i rode around the island 12 months ago on a motor bike, stopping where i liked and got away from Kuta…..what a great experience, i never once had an issue with anyone, locals or tourists and i partied in the night clubs when i got back to Kuta, still no issue. I also had many friends over there and went to some of the finest restaurants, drinking brilliant imported wine, fantastic food…..
      I have been to most parts of Asia at least once a year for the past 20 years, sometimes 2 or 3 times a year, i have seen half the world. Whilst Bali is very Australian in many ways it is still a beautiful, idyllic, tropical paradise for us to rest or play and get away from our normal lives and yes the AUD does not harm the pocket either, so what??

      You stay hidden behind your typewriter in NSW Anthony looking at Sea Eagles…..Bali may not be for you but I don’t think Bali needs you anyway.

      This really is a stupid story and i don’t think is deserving of the thread of stories the Punch have started

      Reply

    • Lucy says:

      08:50am | 17/10/11

      It’s true; after landing it did take me a while to get my head around the fact that I was in another country - I KNEW I had spent 6.5 hours on a plane, but why then was the first thing I saw when coming out of the airport a group of singlet/ boardshorted Aussies clutching beers and swearing at each other? And all the pubs advertising ‘cheap p*ss’ and any AFL/ league match you fancy? But then I DID find my novelty niche - sure I may have been an Australian, but I was from SYDNEY - and THAT made me a novelty to every local I met. ‘You’re not from Perth? Sydney? Fanastic!’ Not all Aussies in Bali are same-same afterall!

      Reply

    • Nick says:

      08:52am | 17/10/11

      I stopped travelling to Bali in the early eighties due to the ever growing number of ugly Australians who travelled there not too experience the culture and people of this beautiful exotic paradise but to shop ,party and drink themselves stupid in a non stop frenzy which would end in bile and vomit.Cringe!

      Reply

    • Richard the Lionheart says:

      08:53am | 17/10/11

      For Perth persons it is our cheapest escape to different weather, another culture, good food and accommodation/ service unavailable in Perth at any price. It is better value than Margaret River, Rottnest Island, any eastern states capital, or even Broome. 2 and half hours and a choice of 5 star resorts or simple bungalow. Love it, and I even love the bogans who work so hard in our mines producing wealth. It is not so PC as OZ. You can actually drink,  smoke and chat up the one you fancy without using dating/sex sites, drugs and annoying slot machines. Always felt fairly safe in Kuta though prefer other resorts nearby. Some Perthites visit 4 times a year and the Balanese are always welcoming. The shops are fantastic compared to Perth prices.

      Reply

    • Chubster says:

      09:00am | 17/10/11

      I think you’ll find more and more Aussie’s are heading to Thailand these days. Phuket is the new Bali.

      Reply

    • dancan says:

      09:02am | 17/10/11

      Bali is to Australia as Ibiza is to England.

      Reply

    • Tim says:

      09:02am | 17/10/11

      Ant: An idiot, who isn’t abroad!
      I have been to Bali many times as have all of my friends. I am currently building a villa in Bali to go and live. If you think that it’s corrupt well yeah, but so is Australia, we just call it LAW here.
      As far as people getting arrested, well damn right they should be, locked up to the full extent of the Indonesian law.
      Bogans, well they are everywhere, in fact I believe the author of this article is just a cashed up bogan. I believe the term is Yuppy!!
      America is full of Yanks, the UK full of Brits, there will always be young drunk people who travel. It’s about learning where to go that they don’t . Usually places with culture or intelligence.
      And Ant, for a country that has struggled to pull up its destroyed reputation they have had after the bombings, a country that has more poverty than you can truly imagine, and a country that has offered everything they have to Australians, you have the absolute arrogance to say that it’s ok to turn your back on the Balinese people and any chance of moving from a 3rd world island to a 2nd world island because of a few bogans.

      GROW UP YUPPY!!!

      Reply

    • pat says:

      06:11pm | 17/10/11

      I totally agree with you Tim we are preparing for our 4th trip to Bali next month and are so excited. Especially looking forward to the hospitality treatment the people are so lovely. We have never seen any sign of drugs maybe because we don’t head down that road. If you live by the sword you Will invariably Die by the sword..Bali Here We Come..

    • Alex says:

      09:05am | 17/10/11

      This article is comedy gold! Let’s take every stereotype we can thing of, roll it into an article, and feed it to the masses as ‘intelligent comment’. And let’s do no research, reach for any facts… because Bali-bashing has become media sport of late, so we must jump on that bandwagon.
      You could write an article about avoiding Australia as a tourist destination. After all, if the media reports are to be believed, we are a nation of bogans and racists. Our crocodiles, sharks and snakes will kill tourists - and if they manage to avoid our wildlife they are at risk of being taken by a serial killer, beaten up by bogans or, if their skin colour is different to ours, bashed and left to die.
      But then we’re all well qualified to write about something we know nothing about. Contemporary journalism at its finest.

      Reply

    • mick says:

      09:09am | 17/10/11

      Bali is cheap and dangerous.  Despite knowing full well what the results of drug possession will be Australian youth continues to offend with the blind arrogance to the law which it displays in its own country.  Despite there being home grown drugs dealers galore who seem to be immune to Indonesian law they continue to go.  Despite suffering food poisoning and drink spiking they continue to go.
      Give me strength.  How dumb are we as a nation and are the results deserved or not.  The answer is clear…...........don’t go!!

      Reply

    • woppadingo says:

      09:10am | 17/10/11

      I have never been to Bali either, and I never want to go.  But it’s not the bogan Aussies that keep me away.  Bali is in Indonesia and the Indonesians hate us.  They also want to invade our country and make it an islamic state.  So I dont want to spend my money in a country where the people hate us and want to kill us

      Reply

    • Tim says:

      09:35am | 17/10/11

      are you for real?
      You are exactly the kind of person who stops society from evolving. Go crawl back under your rock

    • SLF says:

      12:57pm | 17/10/11

      Its so true. I knew they were the baddies in Tomorrow When The War Began. It all makes sense now.

      <rolls eyes>

    • Craig says:

      09:18am | 17/10/11

      I always notice typo’s in my own work, moments after I hit the Submit/Send/Post button.  Good to see professional journo’s suffer the same problem:

      “Personally, I find that kind of encounter far more enticing than the prospect of sharing the sand with a horse of hungover 20-somethings”

      Not sure if the typo should be corrected to “a horde of”, “with a horse and hungover 20-somethings”, or maybe “with horse hung 20-somethings”.

      I am sure that all 3 options would make a a terrible day on the sand.

      Reply

    • HighlyDubious says:

      09:19am | 17/10/11

      Contrary to your article - Bali isn’t just comprised of Kuta.

      There’s some experiences there to be had that you couldn’t get here… but I wouldn’t be buying weed there…. especially when it’s better & cheaper at home! smile

      Reply

    • John Smith says:

      09:22am | 17/10/11

      Well spoken. Love all the sensitive types going “oh how COULD you compare it to an abusive relationship”.. Lets see.. keep going back for more despite being robbed, blown up, killed in some cases, people continually telling you not to but you still go, fooling yourself into thinking its normal and all ok, refusing to listen to your own inner voice saying this is wrong we should be elsewhere.. oh, I think theres plenty of analogy there.
      The Indonesian Goverenment is one of THE most corrupt and backward on the planet yet on the outside its all smiles and love and happiness. kind of like an abusive partner don’t you think?
      You go to places like Bali at your own risk and we see countless examples of setups with drugs and other crimes over there against Australians. We’re in bed with them because of Gas. Our Government has long had the idea of keeping friends close and enemies closer, and Indo/Bali fits this bill. There are safer and better places to be.

      Reply

    • Jade says:

      09:24am | 17/10/11

      I won’t be going to Bali, I have no interest to ever go there.  From what I’ve heard it is a filthy place anyway.  My next trip will hopefully be to Vanuatu to get hitched! If all goes to plan…

      Reply

    • cybacaT says:

      09:27am | 17/10/11

      Ah Tony - not that long ago I was also like you.  I hadn’t been to Bali and was sold on it being a place full of drunk Aussie yobos and all sorts of crime.  In fact you are the problem, because I believed the media reports, the sensationalism and the unbalanced exaggeration that is modern day “news”.  After actually visiting Bali I can confirm there are a few streets (not unlike any Australian capital city) where you can expect drunks, yobos and violence.  But the bigger picture is of a lush tourist island with breathtaking scenery and many beautiful, natural escapes on offer.

      I’ll agree on some points - the motive of living like a King due to low prices is appealing, and it can be a trap for stupid or unwary travellers, but again - so is downtown in any Australian capital city.

      The cure for ignorance is travel and I recommend you do that before having a crack at something where popular opinion is so strongly against you.

      Reply

    • Andre says:

      09:31am | 17/10/11

      Three trips over now, and can say the food is fantastic, the drinks are awesome, the massages just blissful and the accommodation in the Seminyak villas divine. Its a quick flight, and the locals are welcoming, friendly and appreciative of tourist dollars. I also love the fact that druggies face the death penalty, trouble makers get disassmbled by local thugs, and morons at the beach regularly kill or drown each other through stupid misadventures, proving darwinism on a regular basis. Avoid Kuta, as its like Redfern…easy.

      Reply

    • Australian in Bali says:

      09:33am | 17/10/11

      I think what the author might actually mean is don’t go to Kuta… I am an Australian living and volunteering in far west Bali - so far for almost 6 months out of a year all together - and I can tell you there is so much more to Bali than this article depicts. Before being assigned here, I probably wouldn’t have wanted to come either, but if you actually gave it a go, you would see how much more there is to this beautiful island. Yeah, there are tourists, but there’s a reason. As for Australians, certainly in the south there are huge numbers, but personally I go for weeks at a time without seeing any, just a few hours out of the tourist areas.

      Reply

    • Scooter says:

      09:45am | 17/10/11

      For the year 2011-2012 Australian to Indonesia is $558.1 Million.  Maybe we use that closer to home instead of introducing a brand new tax on our people?  Let them wallow in their self-created environment.

      Reply

    • John Stuart Mill says:

      09:48am | 17/10/11

      Been to Bali a few times, the first in 1980 and the last, on a cruise ship, in 1993. Every time we went there it was worse than the previous time. Last time, the cruise ship stopped for two days, we got off the first day, would not even consider leaving the ship the next day. Surly rip-off taxi driver, little Javanese arseholes hassling you on the street, scared the hell out of us adults, let alone the kids. And it has clearly only got worse since then. Never again - give me Thailand (or, despite the expense, Australia) any day.

      Reply

    • Walker says:

      09:49am | 17/10/11

      Your article is about Kuta, I can visit Bali and not spend more than ten minutes in the yobbo-infested, overpriced village of Kuta. What about the cultural and artistic centre of Ubud, the chic area of Seminyak, or the secluded and beautiful islands like Nusa Penida? There is a lot more to Bali than the bogan night clubs of Kuta.

      Reply

    • Tania says:

      10:19am | 17/10/11

      I agree. Kuta is a cesspool, but it’s spreading.  On my last visit I decided that it would be my last. So many other places to visit in Asia. Kuching was fantastic and the beaches & waters in Borneo are lovely. Thailand waters are great for diving, unlike the polluted waters around Bali. The only fish we saw there were dead.

    • PayingOffTheHolidays says:

      10:10am | 17/10/11

      As soon as Australian airlines stop price gouging airfares during school holidays, there might be some hope of holidaying within Australia for the normal middle class. Recently wanting to help the Queensland economy (and NOT wanting to go to Bali with our friends) we travelled north to Cairns. The flights alone for 3 cost over $2000, purely because it was school holidays! Had we travelled two weeks either side, it would have been $700, much the same as it would have been to fly to Bali. When will the airlines figure out that they are harming the economy by jacking up prices sky high (pardon the pun) during school holidays, making it more attractive to travel overseas to places like Bali? The economics of it are insane. I am just glad in the end we put our hard earned into the Australian economy, but I am not happy about giving most of it to an airline that wants to push most of its operations off-shore!

      Reply

    • Miles says:

      10:16am | 17/10/11

      Bali is not the problem - the boganification of the Australian population is.  Everyewhere you look these days - both locally and abroad - australians are acting like drunken moronic idiots.  Something to do with the swing towards left wing ideals when it comes to crime and punishment I would suspect.  People are not being held accountable for their actions anymore and so they are just going feral.

      Reply

    • beckbetty says:

      04:46pm | 18/10/11

      Miles, I think you captured part of the problem with your first point – the “boganification” of Australia. Bogans are now everywhere. But I doubt it’s because of left wing ideals. I lived outside Australia for the best part of a decade from 1998 to 2006, and on return I found a growing chunk of the population had become overtly nationalistic, flag-waving yobbos with Southern Cross tatts, and chanting oi, oi, oi, down with Muslims and “illegal immigrants”.  A legacy of the Howard era I would think.

    • Kate says:

      10:19am | 17/10/11

      Alternatively, you could still go to Bali, but not buy drugs, not hang out with bogans, and avoid dodgy nightclubs. There’s more to Bali than Kuta.
      As for terrorism, that’s a (slight) risk wherever you go. There’s no way I would have avoided travelling to the US despite the September 11 events and the same applies to Indonesia.

      Reply

    • Kipling says:

      10:20am | 17/10/11

      Never been, never will go and just not that interested.

      Don’t see a problem in a free speech loving country for someone to share their opinion on a place despite not having been there. That’s the beauty of free speech in action isn’t it?

      Of course my partner and her sister went to Bali some years back and had nothing but a horror show trip. Being hassled at every turn to part with money for crap trinkets, dubious massages and generally things they clearly were not interested and then when going to one of the more remote areas I see are, to some degree, praised by the faithful to be robbed. Bali certainly gave them an interesting cultural experience.

      As to letting the bogans go there, well, I can support that when one way tickets become the norm….

      Reply

    • Lord Rapscalliom says:

      10:25am | 17/10/11

      Never thought I would agree with Sharwood on anything, but he is spot on in this instance. Bali is a dump, I have been there and couldn’t get out of the s$%^hole quick enough! When Corby was caught and the ensuing uproar Australian’s were asked to boycott the place but but what would happen to the Balinese people? I don’t care what happens to them, stupid Australians are mugged, drugged and robbed by the radical javanese who “police” the island with their hatred of the West… In a small way, I can’t blame them though when they are inundated with Bogan Warnie’s on a daily basis.

      Reply

    • Charity Box says:

      10:45am | 17/10/11

      With the Boganisation of Australians,druken idiots,and skanks in brades and strink bikinis,why would anyone want to go there.

      Reply

    • Tanya says:

      11:24am | 17/10/11

      Don’t like it don’t go, simple. Bali is not just Kuta. There are plenty of beautiful parts to Bali. Yes it’s a cheaper destination (it’s all some ppl can afford) & they are NOT all bogans. Do your homework before you travel there & be just that little bit wiser. If Australia wasn’t so expensive, we’d keep our money here. Balinese ppl are friendly, sometimes much more than our little old clicky Aussie towns!!

      Reply

    • Ollie Hardy says:

      11:43am | 17/10/11

      First of all, there’s no silver fish in the sea, they’re in your wardrobe or sock drawer. People in relative terms, need only the brain of a learned chimpanze to know that the Indonesian archipelago would be on the gravity end as a choice to spend your hard earned. It has a government with laws, punishment, and gaols that don’t match our own, and based on religion, like so many middle eastern countries. So Indonesia has, unlike our own democracy, no concept of the Separation of Powers,  http://www.aph.gov.au/parl.htm#seppow  An example; even a President is in power in the first insrtance, because of his/her religion. Try an Aussie beach I say, and we’ve probably got (i’ll stand corrected), some Balinese type cafes nearby, maybe something like ‘mucken carts’ or should have, on our beaches, where you won’t get Bali belly.  http://www.vivatap.com.au/7-things-avoid-bali-belly.  If you’re a bogan, go to boganville, tourism info in your capital city.

      The Balinese people are by far an example of the true laws of Islam, but it’s unfortunate that Islam out of all the religions, is a harbour for the most extreme terrorists worldwide, of it’s flock.  Not trying to put a too negative note on going to Bali, and enjoy as you will do anyway.

      Reply

    • Paul says:

      12:29pm | 17/10/11

      @ Ollie Hardy: ‘The Balinese people are by far an example of the true laws of Islam.’

      Really, 92% of the islands population follow ‘Balinese Hinduism’.

    • Ian Collopy says:

      11:49am | 17/10/11

      I can imagine travel writers in other contries writing similar things about Australia after they hear about the drunken violence in Manly, Kings Cross, Darling Harbour etc.
      I feel much safer going out in Kuta than in Sydney.

      Reply

    • Simon says:

      11:56am | 17/10/11

      Bali is the place the Stupid Aussie Bogan tourist goes when they want to go overseas but still be among australians, because deep down they fear foreign culture. Although they still consider themselves to be ‘culturally educated’ because they drank at a Bali bar and brought a cheap watch at a bali market.

      I hope to go overseas to Japan soon, I hear that hasn’t been tainted by ignorant yobbos yet.

      Reply

    • Norm C says:

      11:57am | 17/10/11

      What a silly piece of so called ‘journalism’.

      Why not say ‘Don’t go to England’ based on the Ugly Australians in parts of London, the race riots and the Tube Terror attacks.  Or don’t go to Australia because of the attacks on Indian students, the crime in King’s Cross and the number of Ugly Australians there.

      There is much more to Bali than the tourist haunts of Kuta.  Choose the right area and it is a beautiful, peaceful place.  Just like Australia, England or anywhere else.

      And yes, it is great value for money - is there a problem with that?

      Reply

    • Muz, says:

      12:01pm | 17/10/11

      It’s not the threat of a terrorist bomb attack, being fed a lethal drink or somehow getting caught up in the ridiculous Indonesian Legal System (ie carrying a bag of pot is considered worse than planning and act of terrorism) that keeps me away from Bali, .....actually, yes it is!

      Reply

    • Esteban says:

      12:07pm | 17/10/11

      The best thing about Bali - NO TRAVEL SNOBS. You don’t have to listen to someone telling you about how they went somewhere where there was no tourists “only locals”  The highlight of the trip being a sea eagle catching a fish.

      I have done enough “travel” to go head to head with any lonely planet wielding travel snob but I would not attempt to denegrate someone eleses “holiday” choice.

      Bali might not be “travel” but it is one hell of a good time “holiday” that might be the only affordable option to many people.

      Bali is a big island of which Kuta is only a small part. Most of the island is bogon free.

      In Bali a family of 4 can live like kings on $100 a day.

      In Bali there are a million shops but they are all selling the same shit. Your wife can spend a whole day having fun going from shop to shop and hardly make a dent on that $100 a day because it is all crap and if you have been in one shop you have been in all of them.

      Your wife might go into a nice little shop on the NSW coast and buy a blouse made from organic cheesecloth and burn up the whole $100 and head to another shop.

      Travel snobs hate seeing bogons have a good time because it highlights how they have missed out on a wanton good time holiday.

      Travel snobs please stay away from Bali because if you come there will be shops selling organic cheesecloth scarves and my wife will spend beer money buying them.

      Reply

    • Shane From Melbourne says:

      12:27pm | 17/10/11

      All us travel snobs go on cruises anyway…..

    • Amy says:

      12:13pm | 17/10/11

      This article is really ignorant of ALL the travellers to Bali. Yes the Khe Sanh crew have turned Kuta and surrounds into the worst example of human existance, but what about the annual ‘Bali Spirit Festival’ and the hundreds of yoga, meditation, dance, healing, writing/poetry, cooking courses and retreats… not to mention the volunteers helping impoverished and AIDS affected people as well as groups of doctors and teachers.

      How blind-sighted of you to judge me as I get off the plane to Bali with my suitcase full of donations and medicine. Just because those idiots make the most noise doesn’t mean that they are the only one’s there.

      Reply

    • mel says:

      03:02pm | 17/10/11

      You sound like a very generous person Amy. If only more people were like you.

    • josh says:

      12:17pm | 17/10/11

      Without reading every reply, has anyone mentioned 80% of the reason Bali is so popular with Bogans ? It’s because they absolutely have to buy a Bintang Singlet from the source then return home to walk around the local Westfield and receiving the nod of approval from other singlet owners - then said Bogan is in awe of himself as he is well travelled.

      Reply

    • SP says:

      12:18pm | 17/10/11

      When you live in Darwin, its cheaper to go north, that hoilday in Australia. Why go anywhere but Bali. But remember, stay away from the bogan Aussies.

      Reply

    • Poida poida battered sav oiter says:

      12:31pm | 17/10/11

      Ant, I agree with you on one thing with Bali, and Asia in general - our beaches are better. Yeah they may be warmer over there but at least here you won’t come out of the water with plastic bags & rubbish wrapped round your legs.
      But when you’re a low/middle class worker, all the dodgy scams and risks are worth the fact you can afford a room at a nice beachfront hotel with a swim up bar.

      Reply

    • Karlos says:

      12:34pm | 17/10/11

      I don’t understand why people need to judge other people about where or why they choose to holiday - unless its Thailand for sex. That’s pretty icky. Having said that, there are good reasons to be wary of Bali and it’s got nothing to do with Bogans.

      I went to Bali in 1996 on my Honeymoon. Why? We wanted to get out of Australia, had very little money and besides, places like the Whitsundays were too expensive by comparison. The price differential would be even greater these days. I spent the whole flight over either trying to convince the new wife to join the Mile High club (I figured adventuressness in that department was only going to decline so strike while the iron’s hot right?) or learning as much Bahasa Indonesia as possible so I would be prepared to be pleasant, ask a few questions and barter. Knowing a few words of the local lingo gets a good reaction wherever you go - shows some respect. I thought Bali was an interesting place - Nusa Dua was like any place in the Pacific with 5 star hotels wall to wall - you could have been anywhere and it was nice but bland. Legian and Kuta were more touristy but exciting in that third-world crazy kind of way. Up in the mountains around Ubud was just gorgeous. If I went back I’d stay up there I think, but I won’t go back. There is a lot about the place that frankly just feels off when you’re there. The guys who come over from Java to ogle the western women and prey on the tourists are creepy in that “could be dangerous creepy not just leacherous creepy” way and even the Balinese don’t like or trust them. I have kids now and frankly, I wouldn’t take a minor near the place. As much as they like tourist dollars, I think a lot of them (particularly the aforesaid Javanese grafters) basically resent what tourists do to the place and are deeply jealous of their apparent wealth at the same time. Resentment and jealousy are a dangerous combination particularly in a deeply corrupt place with a religious view that places westerners in the “ok to blow up” category. I also think the Indonesian Government is and always has been incredibly dodgy and Australia is a wuss dealing with them, plus their Dutch-derived legal system means that if you do find yourself accidentally on the wrong side of the law, (and I don’t care how straight laced you are, there but for the grace of God, in a place like Bali, go any of us), you’re pushing jello uphill with a toothpick trying to get a proper hearing and you have no presumption of innocence. Good luck with that.  I agree with people who have said “Go to Fiji instead.” Vanuatu is nice too. Both are reasonable replacements for Bali without the associated risks

      Reply

    • Jackie says:

      03:00pm | 17/10/11

      Best and most sensible comment on this page, Karlos.

    • Richard says:

      12:47pm | 17/10/11

      Why would I want to go to Bali when I can get my head kicked in for no apparent reason by some goose at the Coogee Bay Hotel.

      Reply

    • stephen says:

      03:18pm | 17/10/11

      Yeah I read that article too, and his mate, when the police caught up with him, tried to save his skin by saying that only I bashed the shit out of the kid, he only stood there and watched.
      He got 8 years inside, which makes you wonder how serious a Judge must be to give out 30.

    • Lord Rapscalliom says:

      07:38pm | 17/10/11

      By Islanders?

    • stephen says:

      08:08pm | 17/10/11

      Immaterial.

    • Kika says:

      12:49pm | 17/10/11

      The Aussie bogan tourist is everywhere these days. You know the ones. The ones that regardless of where they are or why they are standing in the middle of the airport with an Aussie flag tied to their bag (like this means they are more entitled than others?) and an Aussie hat, thongs and shoes advertising to the world that they are Australian.
      The worse yet I saw was a girl hopping off a plane in Heathrow wearing her pyjamas looking like she’s literally just jumped out of bed while the rest of us international passport people were were tired, yes, but had some level of grooming going on so we could at least look semi respectable to the customs people and anyone who has to look at us!

      I think the main reason I want to go to Bali is for the weather, the beaches, the fact that I don’t have to spend much to have a good holiday (holidaying in Australia is RIDICULOUSLY expensive. Any beach town you go to you have to pay over the top prices for everything it’s hardly economic to even think of travelling at home. Even camping is ridiculously expensive).

      Reply

    • Sarah says:

      12:53pm | 17/10/11

      Finally! Someone said it - Bali is a hole, filling up fast with bogans who have travelled from one hole to another.

      Sure, all places have their beauty, but do you really want to pay hard-earned cash to have to fight your way through the throngs of yobs for a glimps of it? No, most people will just avoid it. Quite rightly so.

      Reply

    • Darrel says:

      01:25pm | 17/10/11

      The ‘journalists’ on here are so funny.. They’ll let anyone write a piece of gripping literature such as this one these days. I should write a story about a place i’ve never been to before based on today tonight or current afair stories and might even throw in some empty headed sexist analogies.. Congratulations!

      Reply

    • Steve says:

      01:27pm | 17/10/11

      I’ve never had any interest in going to bali. Seems to me to be a sterotypical bogan holiday. If I’m going to go to all the effort of going on an overseas trip I’m going for more than just hotels and beaches (which I can get at home). It’s not as if people go to Bali to experience a different culture.

      Reply

    • Joseph says:

      01:30pm | 17/10/11

      I bet half the people on this thread who complain about ‘bogans’ are ‘bogans’ in the eyes of others without knowing it. It’s always ‘someone else’ who is the bogan. It is laughable when I see bogan lefties complain about bogan righties and vice versa. To everyone else, you’re all the same in your ridiculousness. I personally much prefer the more classy Australians of the 1950s. At least they knew how to dress and behave.

      I think any westerner who travels to Asia other than for business is a bogan. Cultured people don’t need to ‘experience other cultures’. Other cultures aren’t there for you to gawk at like it’s a zoo. Don’t you realise that the locals have absolute contempt for you, regardless of how you act? And rightly so.

      If I need to holiday, it is in the places my ancestors came from in Europe. My only interaction with Asia is for occasional business. And I guarantee you that the ‘locals’ have more respect for me than you and your patronising ‘exploring other cultures’.

      Reply

    • Kika says:

      02:31pm | 17/10/11

      So you don’t think you are patronising Europe by your ancestor worship? 
      Are you saying that having an appreciation for Asian culture is ‘bogan’ yet pretending to have some sort of admiration for your European cultural heritage isn’t? How racist!

      Some of us like the fact that Australia is becoming an Asian country more and more all the time. I like the fact we’re in Asia and realise one day we will be Asian.

      Ahaha yeah I married my ‘asian’ husband because I ‘appreciate his culture’ but don’t actually value it and just married him for the novelty of being able to say I’ve got a Hindu husband and I can tell people “Don’t feed my husband’s god a peanut!”

    • stephen says:

      02:58pm | 17/10/11

      To say that ‘one day we will be Asian’ is to miss the point of travel, and that is to lose our habits and familiarities and be someone else for a little bit.
      Everyone about us does not know us, and we become another person, (or I do anyway).  Ordinary life in the West has become intrusive, as if anonymity, (hence, unobstructed behaviours) is only now a luxury.
      Travel is good for us, I think, and if I want to become an Asian, I will go to Asia, and not be a germ wanting something else to come here and change my shape.

    • Snoopy fan says:

      03:32pm | 17/10/11

      One day I’m gonna be asian and listen to boy bands. Then I’ll be hanging to get to Bali for some Khe San

    • marley says:

      06:18pm | 17/10/11

      @Joseph - well, unless you were born there, you’re not European and your Australian culture is not the same as European culture.  You’re as much a voyeur there as in Asia.  And trust me, the locals know it. I’ve lived in a couple of European cities, and your “European” heritage means nothing to them.  In the villages, where you have family, maybe;  in the cities, no.  You’re just another tourist.

      And by the way, “cultured people” have always travelled and explored other cultures.  Or haven’t you ever hear of the “grand tour” which was de rigeur for wealthy, cultured Europeans for several hundred years?

    • Joe Bogan says:

      01:33pm | 17/10/11

      Gotta love stereotypes… It’s hot as buggery over there, and you’re on holiday. There’s only one way to beat the heat - a bintang beer and matching singlet…. hence Joe Blow from (insert any australian city) becomes Joe Bogan. Give bogans a chance, I say. We’re all on holidays of our choice, whether it be a cultural sites tour, a shopping tour, or a “getting absolutely smashed off my nut” tour. so lets just enjoy ourselves our own way, and stop looking down on each other,

      Reply

    • Justin says:

      01:40pm | 17/10/11

      Ok… “Personally, I find that kind of encounter far more enticing than the prospect of sharing the sand with a horde of hungover 20-somethings.”

      That is the authors personal opinion which he is entitled to. Other people prefer the opposite. He has not been to Bali, so he cannot appreciate a single thing about it. 3rd party information is not the same. Seeing pristine beaches etc in Australia is fine but don’t forget Australia is a rip-off and costs an arm an a leg to holiday around.

      He should shut his mouth. People will continue to flock there. Countless people go there and LOVE it. Some have a different experience. Deal with it.

      Travel to South Asia he says? Is it less volatile there? There’s risk everywhere in the world. People go places accepting the risks involved. It is less developed and thus much higher risk to travel to, like countless other places. Doesn’t mean the Balinese are malicious. The risks associated with traveling anywhere are published for all to see on Smart Traveller. We don’t need this fools “opinion”. Make up your own mind. If the author doesn’t like Bali, he should take his skirt off, stop whinging and just not go there.

      Reply

    • Evan Buntoro says:

      01:47pm | 17/10/11

      I’m an Indonesian who works in Australia. I just can’t believe how arrogant and stupid some of these comments are. I’m quite neutral, by the way, even if I’m Indonesian. Yes it’s dirty, yes it’s cheap, yes it’s corrupted but hey we’re all going for holidays there, not to bash someone else. Holiday travel is personal choice anyway, so stop writing rubbish article like this which is based on opinion rather than facts, this type of writer is not supposed to be allowed to publish biased and stupid article like this one.

      Reply

    • Lord Rapscalliom says:

      06:43pm | 18/10/11

      Thanks Bob Brown.

    • Ah, but the surf! says:

      01:48pm | 17/10/11

      Ha ha! Wow this really got people going…

      There are many sides to Bali and most aren’t seen by your average “traveller”. Agree that generally Bali is badly tarnished by tourism. Last visit I barely stepped foot anywhere in Kuta other than the airport.

      Surfers go there for the surf (although it can be crowded) which is consistantly better than anywhere in Australia - that said surfers travel all over Indonesia for surf - and other areas could be considered better.

      There are many yobs who pretend to go for the surf yet spend more time in bars.

      I hope less people go there…. but I’ll keep going.

      Reply

    • Linda says:

      01:55pm | 17/10/11

      There is so much more to Bali than horrible Kuta… We go often. My firt experience was as a child in the 80’s, oh how it has changed since then. We head away from the touristy trash resort areas now and have an absolute blast. If you go there for the all night party scene that the boguns so adore, then I agree wholeheartedly with this blog. HOWEVER head up the coast to Candi Dasa, Lovina or right up north and you are treated with an amazing tropical oasis with not a single aussie in sight… Hmm should probably shut up or others may take the bogun lout ways and spoil this part of the island.

      Balinese are wonderful people, they have an amazing culture but you have to get away from the tourist traps to truly appreciate the Bali that started the love affair 25 years ago.
      As far as drugs and spiked drinks… Just be sensible.  Wherever you travel in the world, KNOW THEIR LAWS.
      And FWIW the drink poisoning was NOT on Bali….

      Reply

    • Ash says:

      01:56pm | 17/10/11

      Stopped reading when you said you had never been to Bali.

      Reply

    • Daniel says:

      02:01pm | 17/10/11

      I wouldnt touch Bali with a 10 ft pole. Totally corrupt..

      Reply

    • melissa barrass says:

      02:10pm | 17/10/11

      Sorry, I think most of us lost interest when you stated “I have never actually been to Bali”.

      Article instantly VOID.

      Honestly, is there another journo who has ACTUALLY been to Bali that could have written this instead instead of a moron who wanted to put his two cents in because he has ‘heard’ what Bali is like due to Australian influence?

      I am awaiting an article telling us not to holiday in Mexico, Argentina, Bahamas, Turkey, South Africa… Oh come on anywhere that poses a little bit of risk. Because life is so awesome staying all snuggly, safe and warm in an Australian flag whilst sipping beer on a local beach. Nah no drunk 20-something year olds getting pissed on a beach here either /please oh please note the sarcasm here. You need to get out more Anthony, you poor bloke.

      Reply

    • Coop says:

      02:15pm | 17/10/11

      The more I read from you Ant the more I discover youre a nasty little man and I really dont like you.
      Im sure you think youre being clever and witty but you generally come across as petty, vacuos and cheap. Anyone can knock crap out of things sport. I cant think of anything youve written on this site that is anything more than an attempt to be a smartarse by putting shit on others (in this case an entire culture)
      The funny thing about the “dont care” if I dont know anything about the topic on which I write etc is that it is that sort of attitude which typifies the bogans you attempt to condesend to.
      Your arrogant pride in your ignorance puts you right there mate

      Reply

    • WTF? says:

      02:52pm | 17/10/11

      WTF?

      I bet all those people responding to my question “What’s a Khe Sanh?” jumped up and down when those corrupt brown skinned police arrested “our” Schepelle. Her bogan brother wouldn’t ‘fess up so someone made a fortune cling wrapping bags at the airport and all baggage handlers came under suspicion.
      Australians had nothing to do with Khe Sanh except that some bogues think that its a road in Bangkok.

      Reply

    • Erick says:

      04:45pm | 17/10/11

      @WTF - Then you would lose your bet.

    • Saz says:

      03:25pm | 17/10/11

      A ridiculous idea, if you have actually never been there.

      Reply

    • Shane From Melbourne says:

      04:20pm | 17/10/11

      I nominate this article for Punch Article of the Year if only for the fact it has a Redgum clip in it. The fact that it has got everyone hot and bothered about Australian tourism in Bali is a bonus…..

      Reply

    • Aussie Wazza says:

      04:27pm | 17/10/11

      Some pointers above recommending various other holiday destinations are not doing the civilised among us any favours. Something akin to encouraging cockroaches into your kitchen. Promote Chad, Somalia or Columbia as ‘The places to be’ for yobbos. Places far from here. Keep the local goodies vermin free.

      I have been visiting Indonesia for business since 1980, usually finishing off with a few days R&R in Bali.

      Balinese are different to Javanese. They are not muslim and represent true Indonesia culture before the nutters pushed down the archipelago. They are a gentle, friendly, decent and generous people.

      Sadly not being of the ‘faith’ they are badly neglected, especially financially by Jakarta. Hence they have to make their own way. 

      Fortunately there is tourism, But the budgee they have nurtured has morphed into a dragon that if allowed to stay much longer will devour them.

      Also Balinese, being gentle are now being pushed aside by Javanese thugs and bludgers that move in to exploit the tourists giving Bali a reputation undeserved. This mob care for nothing but the immediate dollar and encourage anything, no matter how low to gain it.

      Likewise a high percentage of the police are muslim exploiters with nothing but hatred for infidels.

      Sadly though, the freedom and lack of conservative authority, the ability to enjoy a beer on the beach, the relaxed attitude and cheap prices that were much of the attraction of Bali is being its downfall.

      The end of football season junket has created a reputation which has spread and every lowlife wants to get their share.

      The best thing for Bali would be to put a $1,000 per person levy on football players generally plus an extra $1,000 if they are with a fringe suburb rugby league team. Under 25’s MUST have to be accompanied by their mother, grandmother or a maiden aunt.

      Turfing the trash would lift Balis image here and Australias there. The foreigners whose only exposure to Australians has been the dross seen in Bali (or Phuket) would see us in a better light and perhaps be tempted to go the extra bit to visit us.

      Australian familiy visits to Bali would increase and be more profitable for them.

      My favourite phrase when accosted by one of these yobbos there is ‘I no spik Ingris.’

      Reply

    • paul bailey says:

      04:31pm | 17/10/11

      have you ever seen the sunrise from the top of a 10,000 ft volcano? have you ever seen a Hindu cremation or Balinese children being taught their culturally significant dance, or heard gamlin music . i guess you never will !

      Reply

    • malohi says:

      06:48pm | 17/10/11

      I have heard plenty of gammin music.
      Drunk dickheads singing Khe Sahn is right up there. You are so well travelled mate, if only I had your $600 round trip experience, my life would be complete.

    • stephen says:

      04:52pm | 17/10/11

      So I clicked on ‘steaming pile of horse manure’, and came up with the film ‘Eat, Pray love’ and now I know why the concept of ‘niche’ is such a capitalist slogan ; you can market anything you want and make anyone believe it, only do what the astronomers and lawyers do and everyone else does because thinking itzybitzy is essentially easy, natural and neurotic : if you go far enough, it can only confirm your worst fears, that we can be sold anything, and there’s no more reason to think for ourselves.

      Reply

    • Rory says:

      05:29pm | 17/10/11

      Yahoo! Im off to Bali this Thursday and can’t wait!! First time also!
      It’s sad that the person who wrote this has never been? Have they left Australia? How does this make it on news.com.au??

      Reply

    • Utopia Boy says:

      06:08pm | 17/10/11

      Went to Bali on our honeymoon and was suitably unimpressed.
      Every bastard’s trying to rip you off. “Australian price,” or “Morning price” all day while we were walking around trying to find some non genuine Australian surf wear.
      Most of all the stinking, overflowing, open sewers was the worst aspect. “Tropical paradise indeed!”
      One place let us use the toilet for free, but charged us for the toilet paper! Only needed to go due to an attack of Bali Belly.
      To me, Bali has zero appeal. But I’m sure we all know people who fly there every year for some stupid reason.

      Reply

    • Macca says:

      07:10pm | 17/10/11

      Bali is awesome. I had the best time when I was there and am planning on going back soon. Yes it is full of aussies with diminished brain capacity, but the rest of Bali is full of some of the friendliest Balinese people I have ever met. Oh and its pretty simple to get out of there as well, don’t go there for drugs..

      Reply

    • facepalm says:

      08:16pm | 17/10/11

      There’s a much better (and obvious) reason not to go to Bali - there are much nicer places in SE Asia worth visiting. But far be it from me to dissuade dropkicks and bogans from infesting the streets of Denpasar.

      Reply

    • Lloyd says:

      10:18am | 18/10/11

      Wouldn’t go to Bali. Too popular and done to death. And f&*K Indonesia. I wanna go somewhere obscure. Like The Gambia in Africa. Or Turkmenistan.

      Reply

    • Lapun says:

      11:08am | 18/10/11

      Lloyd - just a little more romance please.    I suggest The Seychelles, the Mariannas, Mauritius or even ... Nauru…. where the people are most pleasant and much nicer than the Malaysians.

    • poppy p says:

      10:47am | 18/10/11

      other than marginally cheaper cocktails bali is gross….raw sewerage going into the ocean right next to 5 star hotels (yup my water engineer husband wouldn’t let us put a toe in it)  - seriously queensland much nicer its just a pity eating out is such a rip off in australia….

      Reply

    • Bernie Lomax says:

      11:38am | 18/10/11

      I’ve travelled all over Asia, and all over Indonesia, but I still have a soft spot for Bali.
      If you’re a surfer and you’ve watched an eight foot swell steam through Ulu Watu, into Padang and onwards into Impossibles, Binging, Dreamlands and Balangan you’ll know why. It’s one of the most awe-inspiring stretches of reef on Earth.
      It’s still possible to find a hut on the beach, be woken by roosters and geckos, and surf your days away without ever going near the Kuta/Legian/Seminyak stretch.

      Reply

    • PW says:

      01:19pm | 18/10/11

      Bogan, bogan bogan. 179 comments so far and at least half of them labelling others “bogans”.

      It seems to me that boganism is a bit like racism. The more someone accuses others of it, the more comfortably the label sits on the accusor themselves.

    • john says:

      01:41pm | 18/10/11

      PW
      By your logic, ALL the posters are bogans.
      The ones who were called bogans and the ones who call them bogans.
      Conservative right?

    • Krisha says:

      02:31am | 10/04/12

      I was born in bali from a dutch indonesian father and indonesian arab mother. If you are mixed or from a well off family then you are a little bit more lucky than majority of the local kids. You get better education, better living quality, and better social circle to hang out with which leads to better future connections in life. In indonesia its all about who you know and not who you are. The more money you have the safer you are. It is a very corrupt country. But then again..from my experience, its almost the same everywhere. I have lived in Milan, Paris, Singapore, Kuala Lumpur. Its not better..but the media there has much less freedom than in Indonesia. So we dont hear much about the skeletons in the closet. Sure bali is not the greatest or safest place. Bali is a tourist trap. It has lost its spirituality around kuta legian area. Dont blame australians or americans for this. The government is the one to be blamed. They are too loose because like i said before..you have money..you are safe. Why there is so many drugs? Because the bribes are big grin If the government lay ouy firm rules and laws then there will be no aussies dinning topless showing his sun burned back in a fine dinning restaurant nor 9 people smuggling heroin back to australia. Today a few balinese men smacked my car windows and telling me to get out from my car. Im just a small woman in the car with my 20 year old sister. These men parked their bike in front of my car so i was stucked. I had to ran over their bikes to escaped. It happened in a really poor area around sanur. That taught me to never drive a flashy car in a trashy neighbourhood. I realized that the less fortunate balinese people are becoming more and more aggresive. Almost savage i would say. Maybe they feel like they are the second class citizen in their own island (javanese and chinese tend to be more succesful in bali rather than the locals) Maybe the economy situation is gettin tougher for them. Maybe they just sold their last piece of their paddy field to survive another year. I dont know.. But its getting worse for the locals. Its unfair for the good hearted balinese.. They still do exist. Believe me.. They are one of the wisest , hard working and most patient people i ever encountered. Its really sad because i’m powerless.. I cant do much. Nobody can Change other’s mentality and in a country thats so corrupted like indo..good luck

      Reply
 
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