Enough with Tiger’s mistresses and their predictable push-up bras and mini skirts. Give me Mrs Woods!
While others have been marvelling at The Big T’s ability to juggle so many, many, many extra marital affairs, I’ve been sweating on what Elin is going to wear at her first public appearance.
After all, it’s The Wife’s post-scandal outfit that sets the post-scandal agenda. It lets the world know exactly what kind of woman she is. Wants to be. Will be. At least in the press.
A demure dress and a hundred bucks says that she’ll stand by her man. A pantsuit and Elin will stay but insist on a sit- down with Barbara or Diane. While appropriate but visible cleavage means she’s leaving him, penning a biography - I’ve called it Golf’s First Widow or Lies of The Tiger – and pitching for Oprah.
I think Nordegren should Google a few of The Greats before she makes her final choice. Hillary Clinton, stoic yet feminine after Bill “didn’t have sexual relations with that woman”; Hazel resplendent in blue-collar Australiana when Bob crossed the floor to Blanche and a must, is the Mistress of Wardrobe Wizardry herself, Princess Diana. Search any and all outfits post HewittGate, TamponGate, DodiGate – no one has ever worked pastels better.
Admittedly, the Spinners don’t have a tough job with Elin because she looks like Glinda the Good Witch of The North. But it’s wardrobe that will add just enough sex appeal to her saccharine and create a look that will make the cash registers ring. Globally.
Reports last week suggested that Elin has packed up the kids and purchased a remote Swiss castle. So maybe she is about to take the ultimate anti-fashion stance? Tracksuit pants, the couch and that $80 million dollar Hush Fund.
- Paula Joye is Editor of madison magazine.
Facebook Recommendations
Read all about it
Punch live
Up to the minute Twitter chatter
RT @popculturechris: Meanwhile, Gotye holds no.1 for a sixth massive week in the US - "that" song has now sold over 4 million copies there.
I like how a tip erodes so only you can use it MT “@paulwiggins: BBC News - Why are fountain pen sales rising? http://t.co/0hk2MRtf”
Recent posts
The latest and greatest
Protecting the Barrier Reef is the Fin end of the wedge
When you take on a job like being Environment Minister there’s some hits you can see coming. …
ICB: Is white bread the worst thing since sliced bread?
Welcome to this week’s I Call Bullshit column. It’s a regular column that looks at skulduggery…
Sometimes, you’ve just got to stick it to the bloody ref
We are taught early in life that we should not question authority. We must listen to our parents, our…
Nosebleed Section
choice ringside rantings
From: They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments
Michael S says:
"A teacher at Geelong Grammar had criticised her for using words that were too long, which had left her confused and had made her doubt her ability to write essays. She became ''quite distressed'' when her English marks began to fall." I can sympathise. My scholastic mentors conveyed to me a causal relationship… [read more]From: Welfare for breeders is a bonus for everyone
Change Up! says:
I have no problem paying my taxes. As a single, childless person on a very decent income, I can afford it and not have my life severely altered. Plus I understand that my taxes paying for things like schools, childcare and infrastructure is ultimately a good thing. A better community is better for me… [read more]Gentle jabs to the ribs
They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments
A private school girl’s family is sueing her elite, extremely expensive private school for not… Read more
Most commented