With the election drawing upon us our potential leaders must make a critical decision soon – what will be the campaign anthem that defines their run for office?
In a world where politics is pop culture, where debate is white noise, where voters make their choice on a whim, the tune they are humming on the way to the ballot box could just decide the outcome of the election.
Now in a national first, the major parties have asked the readership of The Punch to form a consultative committee to develop non-irritating campaign themes for the ALP, the Coalition and The Greens.
There are a few schools of thought on campaign themes.
The first is to grab a song from their back catalogue that has some tenuous link to their campaign narrative – Mark Latham’s use of INXS’ New Sensation was spooky; Bill Clinton’s ‘Don’t Stop (Thinking About Tomorrow) was hokey, Paul Keating’s use of the classics (I think it was Holst) was whackily emporial.
The second is to inspire the creative community to celebrate your existence in a spontaneous act of inspiration that puts one of your speeches to music. Black Eyed Pea’s ‘Yes We Can’ - shows what an inspiring campaign can deliver, although last time I looked there was no-one in this race that will take us to these highest.
The third option is to get the advertising agency to come up with something lame that purports to capture the key messages. Kevin Rudd tried this in 2007, as did Morris Iemma with ‘More to Do, But Heading in the Right Direction’ – hopefully the only ditty that Mark Arbib will ever pen.
On the other hand, ‘It’s Time!” was also a made-for-purpose theme.
There is a fourth option of course – John Howard Didn’t Do Music. Who can forget one of the Howard’s landmark interviews before the 1996 election when he said he liked Bob Dylan’s music but not the lyrics? ‘Nuff said.
We at The Punch, are firmly in the Back Catalogue school – we work by the adage that if it’s not on You Tube, it is not worthy of political appropriation. It is on this, eh, note, that we release for public consultation, our short-lists for the major political party theme songs for Election 2010
Kevin Rudd – the challenge for Kevin is for people to remember the love they once felt, to recapture that zing, preferably by the bedside of a sick kiddie. The shortlist:
Doctor, Doctor (Bad Case of Loving You) – Robert Palmer.
Am I That Easy to Forget - Engelbert Humperdinck.
Making Your Mind Up – Bick’s Fizz.
Tony Abbott – his song will need to be a fast-moving number that shows he is the sort of Iron Man who will go the distance. The shortlist:
Let’s Get Physical - Olivia-Newton John.
Would I Lie to You - Eurythmics.
Running Up That Hill (prinicpally for the line “to make a deal with God and get him to swap our places”) – Kate Bush.
Bob Brown – as the leader of Australia’s party for the future, Bob has a special responsibility to honour history, especially crap music from the eighties. The shortlist:
Everything’s Gone Green – New Order.
Out of Touch – Hall and Oates.
Finally, did anyone know that there was a metal band called Balance of Power? These could be commissioned to reprise a fast-paced version of Kermit the Frog’s It’s Not Easy Being Green.
There have to be better options and if you can think of the song to nail the election for your favourite leader, submit it her – your nation needs you.
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RT @popculturechris: Meanwhile, Gotye holds no.1 for a sixth massive week in the US - "that" song has now sold over 4 million copies there.
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