Most people in this country spend around 35 hours plus, (give or take sick days, annual leave, religious holidays, extended lunch breaks, taking a nap in the archive room etc), per week at work.
Given that this represents such a high percentage of our lives, it makes sense, to some degree, that we be as comfortable as possible in these environments, maybe even do little things here and there that make the workplace more homely. The key phrases here however, are “to some degree” and “do little things”.
The level to which my colleagues at work have attempted to personalise the office however, has gotten too excessive; I’m literally expecting the team from Renovation Rescue to charge through reception any day now, with orders to remove a load-bearing wall and replace it with a nice “soothing” water feature.
In an effort to quell the extremes of our budding interior decorators, I’ve created a “DO and DO-NOT-DO” advisory list. If it turns out that you are guilty of things cited on the DO NOT DO list, please, do not take offense, just stop being so damn freakin’ weird!
DO:
Keep your desk orderly and feel free to bring in an ornament or two that can express the real “you”. e.g. You write with a personalised/ engraved pen
DO NOT:
Clutter your desk with paraphernalia youpicked up out of a discount bin at ‘Hot Dollar’... Even if doing this does express the real you, please refrain, as it is a“real you” we really don’t want to know. e.g. You spend 53 minutes looking for the minutes of the meeting which you finally locate under the jeweled wooden monkey carving you call ‘Fredrico’
DO:
Consider changing your Computers Wallpaperor screensaver to personify your workspace. e.g. You change the background image to an alternate colour scheme or pattern.
DO NOT:
Upload images of your new car, (it’s onlygoing to help us determine which vehicle in the parking lot should be attacked with the forklift), your children (if they are particularly ugly), install bright flashing screen-savers capable of inducing seizures, or photographs taken at workfunctions (we do not need to be reminded of the receptionists penchant for whiskey and ‘nuding it up’ in public) e.g. People scream in pain and/or cower, clawing at their own eyes when they walkup to your desk.
DO:
Bring in a SMALL heater or FAN if your section of the office has poor air conditioning. e.g. Your feet are toasty and warm thanks to the foot heater under your desk.
DO NOT:
Use anything that can alter the temperature for the entire department, or for that matter, the atmosphere on neighboring planets. e.g. Your desk fan runs at such a velocity that people cling to workstation walls, jowls flapping in the wind, just to walk past your desk, or in the winter months, you break up office furniture to use askindling on your bon-fire.
DO:
Be a considerate employee and allow other workmates to use tools/implements/work objects designated for departmental use. e.g. You keep stationery on the side of your desk so that it is within easy accessof both yourself and peers. You wait for whoever is using the photocopier to be done before you head over to use it.
DO NOT:
Label every single piece of stationery you have ever touched during your employment as “Property of __________”; Do not hide items or chain them to your desk; Do not line up at the photocopier tapping your foot impatiently.
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