Don’t pass your bad body issues onto your kids

Elsita says:

11:17am | 05/04/11

Gosh this article touched a nerve on me.  The story of my life… and i am a size 12! Some days i think i am going mad.

Jade says:

11:37am | 05/04/11

Totally agree Lisa

Noidea says:

08:14am | 06/04/11

This is a waste of time when we allow the crap that we do in the media and adverstising….until we reign in that crap, our kids will continue to be fat.

acotrel says:

07:38am | 05/04/11

My sister-in -law has a really bad obesity problem.  She said ‘I don’t know why I’m so big, I hardly eat anything!’  But as a kid she was the one who was always given take away hamburgers.  It seems her body chemistry is stuffed!  It makes me wonder how much research the NH&MRC; do these days, and how much protection we have from dangerous food additives such as growth hormones?

Sarah says:

10:24am | 05/04/11

I am a size 8, and i struggle to find clothes to fit that arnt crazy expensive. - at times i hate shopping coz i cant find clothes in my size. I am now pregnant and looking for nice (but inexpensive) maternity clothes and find that all the maternity clothes start at a size 14 or 16, i cant even find a maternity bra in my size - they also are all too big, unless i go and spend $60 on a bra i am only going to wear for a short time.
just thought i would add my views to your comment - that its not easy finding smaller clothes either, i can find plenty of larger size clothes around,
and sometimes it gets a little annoying hearing that its so easy being a size 8 - if your smaller you still get the comments from larger people, “just wait, you wont be skinny forever’ etc. im not small coz i diet, its just my natural body size, i eat what i want when i want, but i also excercise.

Mike says:

11:42am | 05/04/11

Why is it a bad thing to be self concious? I worry about my body just for health reasons.  The fact that I have a fit body is just a bonus.  Plus its not that hard really….. come on…..  who watched my kitchen rules last night and still says they have no free time

Cate P says:

11:55am | 05/04/11

Sarah, go to those big job-out outlets like Harbor Town, they have very small and very large items that are current season - my daughter buys lovely things there (she’s and 8-10) and they have great variety of shops (including underwear and maternity).  If you are going to breastfeed, buy nursing bras, you will wear them for 12 months at least and they are a worthwhile investment!  For my last couple of pregnancies I wore ordinary clothes, just looser.  Empire line dresses with fitted bodice and loose dress part, shirts over roll-top pants ...

mp says:

04:41pm | 05/04/11

I’m in retail and sorry to dissapoint you Deb, the size 16 is sold out first because nobody makes a lot of quantity in this size, it is a notorious slow seller and therefore is hardly produced. At least for mainstream brands.

Tom says:

07:34am | 05/04/11

Well said. Action speaks louder than words.

Cooper says:

07:55am | 05/04/11

The six pack Chong,VB?

Chinaski says:

08:18am | 05/04/11

It’s a valid point you’re making.

When I feel like I’ve indulged in a few too many fatty meals I make sure to work out a little more or run a little further. I don’t sit around and bemoan the fact that I’ve put on a couple of kilos.

Some people need to understand that a simple diet change and some calorie-counting won’t always do the trick. And no, working out is not always fun and enjoyable. Deal with it.

Why is it, as a bloke, more acceptable for me to work up a stinking sweat with an hour-and-a-half workout session than it is for a woman?

Chris says:

08:39am | 05/04/11

Like I’ve always said, “Women aren’t happy unless they aren’t happy.”

Tubesteak says:

08:55am | 05/04/11

Well said, TChong.

If you want to feel good about yourself then do something good. Start exercising and eating right and earn the body to feel good about.

If any man sat around bemoaning that he didn’t have a six-pack but wanted to feel good about himself every other man in ear-shot would give him a backhander and tell him to put down the schooner and pie and go for a run.

But women just like whining and not doing anything and expect everyone else to adjust their expectations to suit them.

You’ll pass on a much better body image to your children if you set a good example to them by exercising and eating right and earning a good body as a result. You won’t do it if you try to classify fat rolls as “curves” and expect everyone to celebrate them.

fairsfair says:

08:57am | 05/04/11

ditto to that good sir.

KH says:

09:15am | 05/04/11

Boys - you try walking around every day of your life, surrounded by pictures of women considered ‘beautiful’ who are stick people, and constantly being judged on how you look no matter what is in your head, and see if you come out of it without any issues.  From the day you are born as a female it starts, and it doesn’t let up.  There are whole industries built on ensuring that you are never happy as you are.

Middle Aged Spreader says:

10:02am | 05/04/11

KH, it’s called the Advertising Industry and their job is to make sure none of us feel happy about the way things are. Stop buying the magazines, turn the telly off and listen to Classic FM.

Ash says:

10:48am | 05/04/11

Ummmm guys have body issues too, they just can’t talk about it like we do cos they’re scared their mates will call them a whinger. My ex was constantly talking to me about this, I loved him the way he was and I told him that every day but he wasn’t happy with himself. My ex had a big problem with exercise and what he put in his mouth. Could never settle down and have a good time and was always at the gym or playing squash every morning and every night. He moaned so much he actually gave me body issues and I was a perfectly healthy size 10-12. Women just naturally talk about this stuff and its sad that guys can’t. Telling anyone to man-up is wrong TChong especially if that person is depressed with low self esteem.

kj_storm says:

10:56am | 05/04/11

Your comment:Hi guys. Can I just add, as someone who is overweight. It’s not always as easy as you say it is. Now before you start screaming back hear me out. I take full responsibility for my size. I know how I got to this point and I make no excuses. I dealt with things in the wrong way. In order to deal with things in the right way I decided to make a change.

In the last 12 months I have made big changes to my life style. I have limited calories to eat everyday. I go to the gym 5-6 times a week. Play Netball and try to do little things like park the car further away from work.

As a result of these changes I have lost 20 Kilos in the last 12 months. I am really happy with that!!! However I am aware that I am still dangerously overweight and need to lose that again and again.

I occasionally have bad days where I will go to the chocolate.

By standing around moaning about it. It’s actually helping me be more accountable for what I’m actually doing. Listening to other people who are going through the same thing helps me be more motivated to fix it.

I think its very easy to say just do it. But the acutal doing it is more difficult when you get to that point. If nothing else you’ve got a whole lot more to move when excercising… 

I’m not disagreeing that people who have problems should do things about it. But you are being extremely harsh about one of the mechanisms to support people who are trying.

Nick says:

10:57am | 05/04/11

Yep - man up…and yet eating disorders are on the rise in men, more and more men are getting plastic surgery, sales of various prosthetics etc are increasing, body image issues are on the rise, male depression and suicide rates are very high, etc etc.  That’s why most major health organisations recommend recognising that the “man up” approach is dysfunctional and should be junked.

Likes Joining Dots says:

11:08am | 05/04/11

@KH

Just back from reading my morning newspapers and flicked through through the back pages. Lots of ripped footballers, buffed divers, agile ice hockey players and lean tennis players. Damnit, we’re surrounded by physical perfection.

The ‘boys’ get it as well from the media, they just don’t seem to ‘get’ that they have to be like that.

Sadly, we can’t all look like TChong.

Babs says:

11:23am | 05/04/11

Nah. It’s not the advertising industry. The reason men don’t fret about their looks is that they don’t grow up being commented upon and discussed in these terms. Remaining unaware of ones body type is impossible for girls after a certain age. As you get older a man will surely tell you (too flat, too full, big hips, big bum, fat thighs, short legs etc)  - all you boys have your preferences and that’s what you tell us about. This post is a variation on a theme, we’ve had endless comment and discussion on the same topic. But the answer is usually the same - a man likes a certain physical type (apparently) and if the woman changes physically over time then he might not be attracted to her any more. Reproduction follows physical attraction ergo our species continues. Sometimes the gender attractiveness works the other way. A lot of male birds spend much energy trying to outdo one another in their beauty in order to attract a mate. In humans it’s us gals.

Yorick says:

11:28am | 05/04/11

and try beig a bloke who has lost any amount of his hair before (and even after) the age of fifty. while the Warnie treatment is now an option (sort of) no amount of diet or exercise is going to breathe life into dead follicles and the loss of confidence a twenty year old male can suffer through severe hair loss is as crushing as any dress size issues women have

BK says:

11:40am | 05/04/11

The real problem is the media telling women that they absolutely, positively must think that they are beautiful, even if they aren’t. It sets most of them up to fail. If you are fat, there is absolutely nothing wrong with accepting that you are fat. It is a completely rational way to think.

RT says:

11:43am | 05/04/11

But aren’t body image issues ultimately about being perceived as attractive to the opposite sex (or same sex if you are gay)?

And that’s where the difference lies. Us men know that we can still attract the opposite sex if we are either rich, smart or successful (or hopefully all three). Women don’t have that luxury to the same extent men do.

jay76 says:

12:32pm | 05/04/11

The curious thing about the advertising industry is that the power it has over you is exactly equal to the amount of power you allow it to have.

Jay says:

04:12pm | 05/04/11

jay76, you underestimate the power of advertising if you think that you’re immune to it. Advertsing is a mult-bilion dollar industry because it works. Even on you. The beauty (or not) is that it works without us even realising. The messages that girls get practically from day one from advertising and the culture in general are that their value lies in their physical beauty above all else. Women can’t help but internalise that to a larger or lesser degree. Hence they tend to obsess about it. Just like men obsess about career, money, ‘masculinity’ and status, because those are the values that are drummed into them as boys. I think we can be mindful and aware that we’re being manipulated, but the power of these messages are very strong. We’re social animals. We all want to fit in. Lets not get on our high horses. We all worry about and succumb to these influences to some extent.

Tubesteak says:

05:11pm | 05/04/11

Men get measured not only on how they look (sixpack, tall, full head of hair) but on how much they earn and where they live.

Men just HTFU and get on with it. We don’t need support groups or government subsidised programs to help us get over it.

acotrel says:

05:08am | 06/04/11

@Babs
‘But the answer is usually the same - a man likes a certain physical type (apparently) and if the woman changes physically over time then he might not be attracted to her any more.’

Babs, if a man falls out of love with you, it was never there in the first place!  Physical attraction is nice, but someone would have to really change dramatically to become repulsive!  Love is about a meeting of minds, if your relationship is open and uninhibited by your previous relationship with your father, you should never have any problem you haven’t created for yourself.

BK says:

06:35am | 06/04/11

@Jay

The real message that women receive is that beauty gives them power.

Anne_N says:

08:44am | 05/04/11

acrotel,

My mother is lucky if she weights seven stone wringing wet, eats like a bird,  she never learnt to drive so she walks everywhere, she’s fitter than me, stick thin, and is in her eighties.  Incredibly healthy really except for one thing - high cholesterol.  Inherited from my grandmother.

acotrel says:

08:18am | 05/04/11

@Stephy If the baby gets screamy take him/her for a ride in the car, then you can become fat along with the rest of us! Nice to see someone having the joys of parenthood.  We need more taxpayers coming along to keep us oldies in our veteranship.

Stephy says:

09:03am | 05/04/11

Actorel, I would if it worked :( she hates the car, it won’t put her to sleep. She just keeps on screaming…

Nick says:

11:05am | 05/04/11

I agree - Babies are great for weight loss and general toning…I’m a guy who was already pretty fit and I’ve lost 6kg, gained a nice set of upper body muscles and firmed up my legs and bum all from spending essentially every “spare” moment carting around, waving around, towing around or frantically chasing 10-40kg of assorted babies/toddlers.  Maybe there’s a book in that…

Mouse says:

11:20am | 05/04/11

Stephy, hang in there! Breastfeeding does drop the weight well. I used to love growth spurts, kilos vanished! lol Have you tried massage with bubs? I used to undress them, lie them on a towel, rub baby oil between hands and slowly massage from toes to head. I know it can be time consuming and sometimes takes a while for bubs to stop screaming but I persevered. I then found that when out I could lay bub on my lap and and just rub stomach or back and they would respond quite quickly. There are also colic remedies that help, ask at your chemist. Hang in there, you’re a great Mum, you will survive! lol

Women are their own worst enemy, always have been, always will be. Most men don’t like skinny, anorexic women but it seems that women don’t really care, they are more interested in what other women think!  If you can’t be happy with yourself, how can you expect anyone else to be? Too fat, too skinny, too dark, too fair, blue eyes, brown eyes, big breasts, small breasts and the list goes on!  Get a hobby, concentrate on living and having a healthy life and be happy with what you have. Life is short, enjoy it!

Stephy says:

08:21am | 06/04/11

Thanks Nick and Mouse Nick - Totally agree! My brother keeps joking I’m going to be ripped after finishing carrying the two babies around. Unlikely, but I think he’s just jealous :D. There should be a book! “How to lose weight and gain muscle in everyday life with a toddler”. Bestseller!

Mouse - I’ve had about 6 different people over the space of a year and a half offer to teach me baby massage, but none have followed up and actually taught me :( If I knew I’d try it before bed, see if it helps the sleep… My 16 month old son, Ed, sleeps through most nights, but my 5 week old daughter Gwyn is waking every 2 hours in the night. I’d totally try massage if I knew how!

And breastfeeding is great for the kilo’s ^_^ 1kg a week even through a tub of icecream a week (I’m a stress eater - I get stressed, I eat)

Elphaba says:

09:14am | 05/04/11

@Steve, I wear a little makeup, it’s professional at work and I have a few little freckles and blemishes on my face.  A little foundation, and I like a bit of mascara.  I don’t cake it on though, and I completely agree with your sentiment - those girls that do are kinda defeating the purpose of what makeup is.

acotrel says:

09:18am | 05/04/11

@Steve Is it a matter of poor self-esteem? If we have a victim’s mindset we’ll be victims.  Who needs a victim in their life?

AdamC says:

10:08am | 05/04/11

Elphaba, I don’t believe your attitude to your body is as uncommon as the article above would suggest. I tend to find that most people (men and women) have a fairly accurate idea of their body’s health and desirability. In other words, most people who think they need to lose weight actually should. 

The author sounds like she has an extreme body image disorder. It also sounds as if her weight fluctuates quite a bit. That suggests a cycle of starvation and binge (and guilt). Not good. I have been trying to lose weight recently because I have stacked on a few extra kilos on and I don’t like having a belly. Now, maybe if I was a women so helplessly, constantly bombarded with images of attractive, photoshopped celesbians and Kardashians, it would bother me more. But my response would be the same.

I guess my point is, it isn’t so bad to be concerned about your body, so long as you respond to it in a healthy, constructive way.  The author isn’t doing either of these things.

Elphaba says:

10:38am | 05/04/11

True AdamC, and I guess I have a problem understanding how women can hate themselves so much.  I mean, for celebs in magazines, they have hours and hours every day to work out.  And after that, they’re still photoshopped.  Their bodies are unattainable unless you quit your job and spend the 8 hrs you’d spend at work at the gym instead.  And that’s not practical.

But mags have to sell, so they’ll present the ‘best you can possibly be’, not ‘what you can achieve’.  You can’t blame them - for the same reason that no one would buy a Big Mac if they advertised them the way they actually look, instead, you get what a Big Mac should ideally look like.

Parents should be drilling into their kids the seperation of reality and fanatsy - because the divide is only getting bigger.

I would hate to think the only valid contribution to society I can make is the way I look.  How depressing.  So I reject that ‘reality’ and substitute my own.  One where I am rewarded for being a well-read woman of substance.

AdamC says:

01:20pm | 05/04/11

Elphaba, there are women out there who are suited to being models in magazine editorials and on catwalks. They are no doubt very fortunate, attractive individuals who, nonetheless, have the benefit of lighting specialists, make up artists and airbrushing. However, they must be under a lot of pressure to stay camera/runway ready, though. (The champagne for breakfast, cocaine for lunch diet, perhaps?) I don’t see why anyone normal would feel so pressured to look like a fashion model.

Elphaba says:

01:32pm | 05/04/11

I agree, AdamC, and yet, there are women who do feel pressured.  Beats the hell out of me as to why, though. *shrugs*

Shifter says:

04:35pm | 05/04/11

@Elphaba - “I ate a donut while reading this.”

Love your work. I often like sitting in front of The Biggest Loser whilst eating ice cream.

Elphaba says:

05:03pm | 05/04/11

@Shifter, oh, I eat pizza in front of The Biggest Loser!  Nom, nom pizza.

fairsfair says:

10:30am | 05/04/11

Gladys, I have brunette Nicole Kidman Mane (BMX Bandits style - though i do actually attempt to tame it). It can confirm - yes - it will be a problem because Nanna’s love it and friends don’t…

However - there are worse things in life!

Gladys says:

11:13am | 05/04/11

That is exactly what I say to her every day: There are far worse things in life, my girl, than looking the way you do!

But I think a good solid curl is better than a fine frizzy one (like mine).

It’s the knots that are troubling us at the moment. A friend of mine told me don’t cut it short to avoid the red afro look.  I keep it in plaits most of the time, but there are times when I have to brush it and the screaming is awful. Mine, not hers.

fairsfair says:

01:08pm | 05/04/11

Oh I threw my brush out at about age 8 when I discovered the afro comb. I also only ever comb it when it is wet. I know “going to bed with wet hair” is not ideal - but the best thing I found is to wash it, towel dry it, comb it and plait it and then go to bed. In the morning, when you let it out is has almost been 1/4 straightened. The weight of it pulls it a tad straighter. This then allows you to sort it out for the day, be it pin it up or whack it in a pony. As I have got older I have just replaced the plaits with twists and bobby pins. It seems to be working. oh and never use any other product other than leave in conditioner. Eveything else causes beehive type horrors that are best not discussed.

I have also found that concaved layering helps, but there is no escaping it and honestly as an adult now if you asked me if I woud like my hair over straight hair - I’d take my hair. It is a bit different.

She will learn to embrace it too, eventually

Tane says:

11:52am | 05/04/11

It’s true. I’ve lost 10kg over the last 9 months just by… get this… eating less food! It’s not a ‘diet’. It’s a permanent commitment to watching my weight. If I start putting on weight then I’m eating TOO MUCH FOOD, so I should EAT LESS. When I drop below my target weight (85kg, only 4-5kg to go now!) then I’ll start eating more.

I think it’s important not to pass your bad body issues *in either direction* to your kids. Don’t teach your kids to starve themselves trying to be supermodel-thin if they’re a healthy weight. Just as importantly, don’t teach them it’s OK to keep gorging themselves if they’re little fatties! Teach them to take responsibility for actively controlling their weight.

Kitty says:

10:01am | 05/04/11

Ahhh I love the magazine blamers! If they all showed ‘real’ women and all that crap then they wouldnt sell, would they?  I certainly wouldnt buy them! I see real women everyday.

People who blame things like TV, Magazines and celebritys need to take responsibility for there own actions and thoughts!!!

Sad Sad Reality says:

10:15am | 05/04/11

You’re right Kitty. Women are the problem. Especially the heavy ones.

Kate says:

10:55am | 05/04/11

I’ve never seen many pictures of men without the stereotypical ‘hot’ body in either women’s or men’s magazines. Most men depicted, whether famous or not, tend to fit the sculpted abs/hairless chest/tan mold. Unless they’re featured in a “Look Who Got Fat!!!!” article.

The depiction of women in these magazines is pretty poor too, but I think men also cop it.

Also, what is with the lack of hairy men in the media? Surely not everyone finds the waxed chest look attractive? I think it’s icky.

ibast says:

11:37am | 05/04/11

Kitty,

So you believe women develop a negative body image in total isolation to media influence?

notsue says:

01:05pm | 05/04/11

@ibast Some publications are painting a more realistic view of what most women actually look like , thanks to such measures as” The Campaign For Real Beauty,” sponsored by a soap company. Also, some magazines have responded by only using “normal” sized models in their photoshoots. The fashion world is starting to wake up to the negative side of the ‘stick figure” on the catwalk also. Protests have occurred at fashion parades for quite a while now. The message is slowly getting through.

Ultimately, it IS up to women (and men) to take charge of their own bodies, however, the persuasive and pervasive influence of modern media and the idealised images they generally project should not be underestimated.

Re eating disorders in general though, they aren’t just about what sufferers actually look like. These twisted body images are about trying to exert some control over their lives and those around them. These people have a real psychological issues. Their bodies are merely the instrument by which those issues are expressed.

Sad Sad Reality says:

10:18am | 05/04/11

It will change the minute women offer anything other than their appearance.

AdamC says:

10:38am | 05/04/11

CC, chicks whinge about their jobs, too. The body image whingeing is obviously in addition to job whingeing, kid whingeing, boyfriend/husband whingeing, etc. (Having said that, I don’t think men are any less a bunch of whingers than women are.)

SSR, I see that you are in fine form already.

MnM says:

05:03pm | 05/04/11

Whereas, Sad Sad Reality, sitting on the internet all day whining about 50 per cent of the population is contributing so much, isn’t it?

cc says:

10:20am | 06/04/11

SSR- women do offer more than their appearance and men get threatened when they do.  They lash out with sexist comments

Sad Sad Reality says:

12:05pm | 05/04/11

Lack of discipline and laziness. That’s what it all boils down to. Lay on all the Oprah-lite “I’m a comfort eater” all you want. Hug a therapist. Try to figure out the keys to your body dysmorphia. The things it always comes back to is no self discipline, no exercise and a truck load of excuses. That’s why The Biggest Loser is so funny. Every year, it’s fatty after fatty with these intricately created reasons for being insubmersible.

Everyone knows what to do to lose weight. Eat less crap and exercise. Not everyone is willing to do it.

Wynston Cruso says:

05:30pm | 05/04/11

I’m with SSR. Cause and effect.

p.s. It’s not a disease.

BK says:

06:50pm | 05/04/11

Give me humility over confidence any day.

MJ says:

12:54pm | 05/04/11

D, this is absolutely ridiculous.

I’m a size 12, and 5’7” - tallish, but not really tall - and about 67kg. According to every article I’ve *ever* read on healthy weight / BMI etc, I am bang in the middle of the good weight range.

It’s obviously not good to be fat for obvious health reasons - but lets all be clear on what “fat” is. It’s quite possible to not be a bean-pole, and still not be fat. It’s possible to have curves without being “fat”. People who are healthy and fit can still have cellulite etc etc…

I think there needs to be a whole lot more realism on both sides here.

Judy says:

06:35pm | 05/04/11

What a truly stupid comment. It’s this kind of uneducated, sweeping statement that helps add to our negative body images.

If I was a size 10 I’d be seriously underweight. We’re not all short, you know.

Sickemrex says:

07:54pm | 05/04/11

Good one D.  How fast can you run 21.1km?  I’m size 12, 67kg, 170cm and can do a half marathon in 1.47.  I am not too fat.

Anne_N says:

03:30pm | 05/04/11

Randy…tut tut.

You should be strapped into a chair with your eyeballs held open, like Alex in A Clockwork Orange, and made to watch episodes of ‘Mike and Molly’.

Dazeddazza says:

06:16pm | 05/04/11

Well said Randy, I totally agree.  However, I note the writer was talking about size 8, 10, and mainly small sizes.  I want to know where the big fat ones get their black cheap stretch shorts and their “tents”?  These “tents” were called Mu Mus when I was a lad.

Sad Sad Reality says:

12:10pm | 05/04/11

A 5’6” woman who is a size 12 is not healthy. She’s overweight. Articles like these try to make the claim that a large spare tire of adipose tissue around the stomach/hips/bum is okay. It isn’t. If everyone ate well and exercised the average sizes for men and women would drop dramatically. 12 would then be seen as “she’s letting herself go” as it should be.

Former fat guy says:

12:21pm | 05/04/11

55kg, these (exactly which?) women are far from healthy.  With the toxic mindset that they harbour, it’s no wonder their fat bodies are the result.  And there is nothing healthy about that.

Men and women both have a large amount of pressure on us to look better, and it’s for a good reason.  To attract a healthy mate is important.  And even more important is to live a healthy life.  Being overweight is the very antithesis of health.

To be honest, I don’t think I know one -person- who is entirely happy with their body.  Improvement is an constant process, the journey of which feels as good as the goal. 

There’s nothing sad about a woman wanting to look hot in a bikini.  Being attractive makes you sexually empowered.  Being a lawyer, while also impressive, does not.

55kg and fat says:

12:46pm | 05/04/11

No, this article is about having a realistic (and healthy) body image. The women the author is speaking about are size 8-10 with children. That is not unhealthy.

I agree that people who are overweight should do something about it. It irks me that just because more people are overweight, it has become the norm. But at the same time, a little excess weight is not necessarily detrimental to one’s health. Saying that a woman who is 5’6” and a size 12 is unhealthy is bullshit.

This article, in my view, is trying to encourage women to have a realistic and healthy view of their bodies. I think that means, if you are overweight then you should realise that and lose some weight.  But it also means that if you are at a healthy weight, your entire self worth shouldn’t be tied up in the way you look. The problem is that a lot of women who are at a healthy weight hate the way they look and this makes then question their self worth. This isn’t healthy!!

I know I do it, and I know it’s not healthy. Trying to get women to focus on health instead of the way they look is the best thing to do.

fairsfair says:

01:22pm | 05/04/11

SSR - they are not always. I am 5’5 and a size 12 and I am in the healthy weight range according to my dr. Infact, sometimes I wander into the 14s and I am still in my healthy weight range with a healthy BMI. Having a big of bone density, muscle, an ass and a couple of DDs makes a difference to your actual weight.

My sister is 2 inches taller than me and had to exercise like a demon and didn’t eat more than 20g of fat per day from 1994 to 1999 to become a size 10. THAT was unhealthy. She is now a healthy size 12 also, but has heaps of problems as she did all this stupid carrying on during puberty.

Siloing people into sizings and charts can creates issues too. Some people are naturally heavier and it has nothing to do with body fat percentage. According to you I should lose a fair chunk of weight and strive to be an 8-10 rather than a 10-12. According to my doctor I am ok as I am.

NQ says:

02:32pm | 05/04/11

@Sad Sad Reality   My hips were size 12 when I was 17 and a “perfect” weight, with no excess fat.  Now that I’ve had two babies, I don’t know if it would ever be possible for my hips to fit into a size 12, even if I did get back to my weight at 17.

Sad Sad Reality says:

02:33pm | 05/04/11

Fairsfair. With a good (largely unrestricted) diet and regular exercise regime, you would be 8 - 10 pretty effortlessly. And you’ll feel better for it. Once you set the lifestyle, the weight drops off. It’s that simple. Stop thinking about it. Make exercise and healthy eating a routine. Get used to it. New you.

Ben C says:

03:23pm | 05/04/11

@ SSR

I’d say fairsfair would listen to her doctor over you

Sad Sad Reality says:

03:43pm | 05/04/11

Ben C, yeah because I was peddling quackery. Healthy diet and regular exercise. Doctor’s would be appalled. Go white knight somewhere else.

fairsfair says:

04:05pm | 05/04/11

SSR, I hear what you are saying and if I was a size 20, I would believe you. But my sister is case and point for me - she struggled to the point where she wore out the videotape of “Abs of Steel”  and never got the six pack. Not even the top two appeared after five years of depriving her body of sugar and fat and evercising to the point where we all worried wtf was wrong with her.

As Elphaba has said above - I can never realistically expect to easily be below a size 12 - it is just my shape and my build. We get it from our father. My mum is also a size 12 and the same height as me. If she did as you say, she would drop to a 10 in about a month, even in her mid fifties.

BenC is right - my doctor says I am “healthy”, and I am prepared to take his word for it. I think if I tried to be a size 10 I would be irritable to the max and I would look gaunt. Everybody is different, and that is one of the underlying issues here.

Sickemrex says:

08:02pm | 05/04/11

I’m confused SSR.  In Jeans West and Colorado clothes, my pants size is small or a 10 but my top is M or 12 because I have boobs.  Are my legs and bum ok with you?  It would make my day if they are.  Same with Country Road.  But in surf clothes I’m a large!  Can you tell me how to make my size 12 top smaller by making my boobs smaller?  Maybe I should stop swimming and doing weights hey?

notSue says:

10:06am | 06/04/11

SSR, you troll, you are exactly the kind of person who makes women feel bad about themselves. Telling a 5’6/7’ person that at a size 12 they are unhealthy is the kind of misguided, ‘everyone should have not one gram of fat on them” bullshit that women hear all the time! No wonder we feel bad about ourselves, when blokes talk about women like that.

Female metabolism is different to a male’s, as well as our physiology. We need a certain level of fat to maintain a healthy menstrual cycle. If the percentage drops too far, our bodies go into starvation mode and our cycle stops.Just ask any anorexia nervosa sufferer.

Learn something useful about health and females before peddling your crap in futuure.

Randy Marsh says:

01:34pm | 05/04/11

and then the overweight wife gets surprised when her husband cheats on her! she will only have her self to blame.

word of advice women, if your married that’s no excuse to let your self go because if you do dont be surprised when your husband cheats

MJ says:

03:01pm | 05/04/11

You’d be a real catch wouldn’t you Randy?

No excuse to cheat says:

03:16pm | 05/04/11

So Randy if you get fat and wobbly is it alright if your wife cheats on you?

Randy Marsh says:

03:18pm | 05/04/11

MJ yes i am because I’m fit and healthy and finding a woman is not that hard for me

Sarah says:

03:34pm | 05/04/11

What the hell?! You’re suggesting that if someone changes physically it gives the other person an excuse to cheat on them? That is incredibly shallow.

Having said that, I think it’s important that all people look after their health and having a child shouldn’t be an excuse to let yourself go. But why can’t instead of the finger pointing and cheating, you try and work on it together instead of completely shattering someone’s self esteem.

MJ says:

03:39pm | 05/04/11

I’ll bet keeping one is impossible though!

Randy Marsh says:

03:44pm | 05/04/11

I never said its OK for a man to cheat on his wife if she got fat I’m just saying don’t be surprised if he does.

wife’s who decide to get fat and do nothing about it are selfish.

Sad Sad Reality says:

03:53pm | 05/04/11

@Sarah. Yes. A sexual relationship is predicated on attraction. If a woman lets herself go, a man has a right to cheat. Sex is just as important to a man as relationship security is to a woman. When a woman stops caring about how she looks, a man should be allowed to stop caring about monogamy.

@MJ if you think staying with one woman long term is satisfying, you really don’t know men.

No excuse to cheat says:

04:01pm | 05/04/11

Sarah I agree with you but I had my second baby just over 4 months ago and while I’m down to pre-pregnancy weight my waist and hips are a bit wider than before. I’m eating healthier than I used to and I love walking the dog so do that at least 5 nights a week so hopefully the waist at least comes back in a bit Throughout all of this my husband has been fantastic and eats the same boring healthy meals as me to make it easier. He’s even lost a couple of kilos so it’s working out for both of us. I hope our son and daughter grow up to be happy with their bodies and we’ll do our best to encourage that as I’m sure the pressure to be perfect will be coming from outside the home.

MJ says:

04:15pm | 05/04/11

SSR - I just don’t know men like you - luckily!

Sad Sad Reality says:

04:50pm | 05/04/11

You and me both sister.

Sarah says:

04:54pm | 05/04/11

SSR that works both ways right?

Sad Sad Reality says:

05:37pm | 05/04/11

Sure Sarah. If you check the current divorce rates, it already does. Women instigate 70%.

Randy Marsh says:

02:33pm | 05/04/11

thats right if a womans overweight its always someones else fault.

you do know men cant help it that they are not attracted to overweight women right? you cant force attraction.

overweight people have to stop being so selfish and stop sitting on their backsides shoveling KFC in their mouths and then demanding that men should find them attractive, if you want to be attractive THEN DO THE HARD WORK AND EAT HEALTHY AND EXERCISE

MJ says:

02:58pm | 05/04/11

Randy - I think you’ve missed my point. I’m not even talking about overweight women here.

I also haven’t suggested anything about taking personal responsibility for one’s health. 

I’m talking about healthy, fit women who just don’t have the physique of a stick-insect - needlessly feeling anxiety and insecurity about their weight.

Sad Sad Reality says:

03:41pm | 05/04/11

I think it’s pretty clear where men get their anxiety about their wealth from - and it’s not from the Forbes 500 list or other men, or even themselves!

It’s from selfish cow women! Women who think the primary thing a man has to offer the world is his wallet. Also women who suggest that a median income “will not keep me in the lifestyle to which I have become accustomed”, and men who work themselves to the bone to pay for their selfish wife’s interior decorating fetish are insane!

MJ says:

04:07pm | 05/04/11

Wow, SSR - you are pretty cut up about something!

How did a discussion about women’s body-image anxieties end up in a rant about money?
It’s pretty common these days for women to be equal with their partner’s in terms of bread-winning responsibilities, so I think it’s largely a non-issue. It’s DEFINITELY off the subject!!!

I don’t know *any* women from my generation with any expectations of being “kept” in any manner, and as for an interior-decorating fetish - that is so 1950’s… which seems to be where you are stuck!

AdamC says:

04:12pm | 05/04/11

“Also women who suggest that a median income “will not keep me in the lifestyle to which I have become accustomed.”

At the risk of stooping to the SSR school of sexist steretyping, what exactly is wrong with this? Isn’t this how you would expect the system to work in an SSR-designed gender-relationship model? I mean, you can expect to land a hot size 8 woman without a more, um, overweight bank balance, surely?

AdamC says:

04:34pm | 05/04/11

SSR, sorry, I meant you can’t, not you can land the hot size 8 woman with an equally skinny wallet.

I would also note that I am more money-focussed than many of my heterosexual friends. So, while attractiveness to the opposite sex may have something to do with men’s drive to succeed in life, it isn’t the whole picture.

Sad Sad Reality says:

04:49pm | 05/04/11

Exactly, AdamC. A man’s wallet is the equivalent of a woman’s attractive physique. We could all complain like MJ (who completely missed the relevance of my comment) or just realise this is the way the world works and move on. Men like thin attractive women. Thin attractive women like money. Case closed. For further notes on sarcasm, consult your local dictionary.

AdamC says:

05:05pm | 05/04/11

SSR, so, on the one hand, the ‘Men like hot chicks; hot chicks like money’ principle (which, while over-simplified, is not inaccurate) is just how the world works etc. Meanwhile, on the other hand, women are ‘selfish cows’ for wanting a man who can cut it, money-wise. Doesn’t that seem like an unreasonable position, even to you?

MJ says:

05:07pm | 05/04/11

SSR - I haven’t missed anything - there is simply nothing relevant in your comments.

You are colossally stupid - there is just nothing else to it.

Sad Sad Reality says:

05:29pm | 05/04/11

AC, a woman with a model quality body and face can have just about anything she wants. Is that fair? No. Does that make her a selfish cow? Yes. Is she really even worth a million dollars of some man’s hard earned cash because she will be attractive for a couple of years before she slides into sexual obsolescence? No. But we all have to put up with it. Is it too much to ask that single 30-year-old women with laundry lists of attributes they are looking for in a mate keep themselves in reasonable shape? I don’t think so. But current society says it is. Fact is, every attractive woman above 25 that I have ever met has been obsessed with money and status. It may be anecdotal evidence, but it has been proven to me time and time again.

MJ, all you do is miss.

Likes Joining Dots says:

06:31pm | 05/04/11

@MJ

I could be wrong here, I thought the post was about how to stop passing on insecurities about body image to children. Not a discussion about a womans own personal insecurities about body-image.

MJ says:

07:59pm | 05/04/11

Likes Joining Dots…

For someone who likes joining dots, you’re not very good at it.

The issue of unreasonable expectations / anxieties women have and internalise re- body image is inextricably tied to the question of passing those insecurities on to children (at least in the case of women who have children).

bella starkey says:

03:07pm | 05/04/11

I have a relative who is the same with his kids.

They are all primary school aged and think they are fat for no reason other than the fact thier father tells them that. One time the middle one came up to me and asked if he was fat and it was so sad to think that these boys are going to grow up so unhappy with themselves because they have a dad with a retarded hangup.

James of Adelaide says:

03:08pm | 05/04/11

You sound like a complete wanker. I would feel pity for you but I would rather put my feelings towards an actual human being.

BL says:

03:14pm | 05/04/11

Pathetic Randy. Absolutely pathetic. It sounds like YOUR the one with body issues, so obsessed with yourself you are probably a self-concieted up-yourself loser who most people dont want to be around - hence why you have so much time to exercise. Get a life.

Randy Marsh says:

03:17pm | 05/04/11

@james last time i checked its not a crime to be attractive or to be fit and healthy.

overweight people just have to get over their jealously issues and understand that their weight is their own responsibility to fix.

how am i a wanker for stating facts? should i just lie to overweight people and tell them that they are healthy?

Matt says:

03:19pm | 05/04/11

Feel better about yourself now?

Randy Marsh says:

03:38pm | 05/04/11

BL I go to my gym for 1 hour after work every 3 days and on the weekend i spend a few hours swimming at the beach hell people spend more time watching TV at home.

and whats wrong in wanting to be healthy and remain fit? i thought that was a GOOD thing.

and i do stand by what i said that an overweight persons weight is their own fault as this is FACT! if you eat junk and don’t exercise YOU WILL GAIN WEIGHT! AGAIN THIS IS FACT!

answer me this how am I a bad person for keeping fit and saying facts?

NQ says:

03:38pm | 05/04/11

Okay, I sound a bit like a whinging mother, but the reality is that my current life situation restricts my ability to get out and exercise.  My point is we don’t all have the freedom to do hours and hours of exercise a week.

Violet says:

03:52pm | 05/04/11

How lovely that you have so much spare time to do all that exercise. As a mother of a very active 2 year old, I barely have the time to get enough sleep every day, let alone schedule in hours of exercise every week. I work part time, do all the shopping and cooking, cleaning, gardening, and the majority of the child care/parenting.

When you are the primary care giver of a child whose needs come before your own, then you will be qualified to comment on this issue.

I am very concerned that my daughter will pick up on my low self esteem/body image but try to lead by example. Whilst I am still 7kg above my pre pregnancy weight, I still have a healthy BMI and try to have healthy meals and snacks. 

Having the time for regular exercise has gone out the window along with regular hair appointments, sleep ins, reading the newspaper from beginning to end and privacy.

Randy Marsh says:

03:55pm | 05/04/11

NQ;
do you watch TV? then you have time to exercise
do you have kids? your free to take the kids to the park and kick a ball
around
do you own a skipping rope? you can use that at home anytime
do you have a back yard? plenty of exercises you can do out there
do you eat? your free to cook up healthy meals anytime

the key to lose weight is to stop making excuses, watch the special Olympics do they make excuses?

Sad Sad Reality says:

03:56pm | 05/04/11

NQ, I bet you find plenty of time for Oprah and Facebook though.

Randy Marsh says:

03:57pm | 05/04/11

P.S “and hours and hours”? i spend about 5-6 hours exercising a week, people spend more hours in a week in front of a TV

Hambone says:

04:02pm | 05/04/11

Randy, you are such a douche bag. I am a 28 year old guy who has been trying to lose weight for the past five years, after cutting myself back to 1200 calorie diet and increasing my daily walks to an hour and a half each (plus 3 nights of weight lifting a week and aerobics in the morning) I suddenly realised that I SHOULD be losing weight but something wasn’t working. Long story short, turns out I actually do have a glandular problem, the catch cry of the lazy & obese and I have to be stuck with it and have morons like you tell me to ‘put down the fork’ on a daily basis. People like you are the reason I hate going out in public and never wear anything as revealing as a T-shirt or shorts. I might weight 110kgs but you can bet I’ve got enough muscle under it to knock you for six if I ever have the displeasure of meeting you.

bella starkey says:

04:09pm | 05/04/11

Beauty fades Randy, arsehole is forever.

Sad Sad Reality says:

04:15pm | 05/04/11

Hambone, stop walking and start sprinting. Then be amazed as your glandular problem magically disappears.

Former fat guy says:

04:23pm | 05/04/11

Hambone, the luxury that us fit people have is that we can outrun the irrational rage of people like you.

Randy is 100% correct.  Any argument to that is just an poor excuse.

You have a glandular problem?  Is it any surprise after what you must’ve put your body through to get where you are?

NQ says:

04:26pm | 05/04/11

Actually, I don’t watch TV, and most of my time online is spent whilst breastfeeding or rocking the baby. 

It is stinking hot where I live, I get 7 hours broken sleep at best each night, and most of my time is spent playing with my kids.  And I’m not taking them out in the sun until after 4 when the sun has gone down enough that they’re not going to get sunburnt.  I try and get a bit of activity into my day, but some days it is really, really hard.  Okay?

Don’t freaking judge me until you’ve walked in my shoes!!!!!

Randy Marsh says:

04:55pm | 05/04/11

Its like some of you people don’t understand or just refuse to understand the simple facts I’m talking about.

and NQ all i see there are excuses deep you know you have time to exercise but you refuse to

NQ says:

03:51pm | 05/04/11

oops, this was supposed to be a reply to Randy up at 2.55pm

That would have made a whole lot more sense!

Sad Sad Reality says:

04:07pm | 05/04/11

It’s not impossible to jog with a stroller with a four year old strapped to your back. Luke Skywalker did it in Empire Strikes Back and we all know how awesome he is!

fairsfair says:

04:18pm | 05/04/11

This isn’t intended as a criticism, or a lecture or even a suggestion and I apologise in advance if I offend you but….

Maybe you could do lunges as you picked up their toys? You could also bend down and touch your toes in between every towel you hang out? You could put them both in a pram and go for a walk/run to tire everyone out before 2:00pm nap? I think this what Randy is getting at and everyone is being pretty harsh on the guy for stating the truth - your body and health is your own responsibility and only you can be the one to change it and control it. If you don’t consume so many calories, maybe you wouldn’t need to find actual blocks of time to exercise.

I don’t have children, but I used to work from 6:30am to 6:30pm plus travel time. I used to say I could not find the time to exercise. I changed my lifestyle and I lost about 20kg in six months. It just happened because I stopped thinking about it. That is the key to losing weight, but the mental trigger is different for eveyone and I could work out how to explain that in a way that is understood by other people I would be a very rich woman.

Bottom line is though, you sound like a lovely person, you have two kids that obviously mean the world to you (one you only just gave birth to for gods sake) - give yourself a break! Being a few kgs overweight should be the least of your worries NQ - you have things in your life that skinny starving narky women would kill for!

FG says:

04:19pm | 05/04/11

NQ, please don’t be so quick to forget that in our parents’ time, doing housework and eating responsibly was enough to maintain a trim figure. 

It’s no different to your situation, you are still just coming up with excuses.

No excuse to cheat says:

04:24pm | 05/04/11

Could your husband/partner watch the kiddies for a little while in the evening or even early morning? I have a 2.5 year old and a little baby so I understand that it’s difficult but I also think it’s really good to have some time to yourself. As I said in a post above I really enjoy walking so I leave the kids with hubby when he gets home from work and off I go. I also jog laps of the backyard when out there with my older child. If I don’t get a chance to go for a walk I have an exercise bike in the house so I use that for 10-15 minutes instead. I’m not judging you at all just make some suggestions, these have really helped me

Randy Marsh says:

04:29pm | 05/04/11

Well said Fairfair but get ready to be flamed for saying simple facts

people here dont like the truth.

Randy Marsh says:

04:31pm | 05/04/11

Bella im not an ashole but even if i was at least i will live longer.

overweight people die sooner then healthier people and they leave their kids behind to early.

Elphaba says:

04:37pm | 05/04/11

Well said @fairsfair.

The other thing I would add @NQ what about getting up early for a jog?  I assume you’re married, so an hour before husband gets up, go and do a run/jog or a stairclimb, and then your exercise is done.  It also jump-starts your metabolism for the day.

I’ve lost 4 kilos that way - 1 hr exercise from 5:30-6:30am, and just reducing my portion sizes.  I haven’t even given up carbs or cheese or anything weird like that.

NQ says:

05:36pm | 05/04/11

@Fairs Fair - thanks for the encouragement. That’s the sort of thing I try to do. 

Both boys have only needed 10 or 11 hours sleep a day since birth, so I really do spend almost all my waking hours with one or the other.  I don’t get enough housework done to keep me trim, and I don’t overeat.  And I’m only a few kgs overweight - a legacy of bad habits long lost.  I’m not saying it’s not my fault that I’m not skinny, it’s just that at this time in my life getting skinny again isn’t easy.

Randy Marsh says:

05:03pm | 05/04/11

P.s this was a reply to Rick

Randy Marsh says:

05:37pm | 05/04/11

Fat does = lazy its basic human biology humans get fat because they eat junk food and do not exercise

Sad Sad Reality says:

05:42pm | 05/04/11

Fat 99.9% of the time = lazy and docile. For the other 0.1% it = bad roll of the dice.

LittleLisa says:

12:43am | 06/04/11

My mum did this to me, too. One of my clearest memories is her standing on the scales, freaking out that she’d be over 50kgs soon if she wasn’t careful.

Yes, over FIFTY kilos. She’d make a huge deal out of not eating breakfast, or lunch, and sometimes would carry on about not eating at all in a day. I first skipped breakfast at age 10, and was having a small orange juice and a muesli bar for my entire daily intake by the time I hit high school.

Even though I know it’s ridiculous, I’ve never hit 60kgs and would probably freak out, deep down, if I ever did. Sorry, that’s not quite the case - I put on 25kgs when I was pregnant and ended up loving the fact that I felt beautiful when I was so big. I was back down to pre-baby weight in no time at all though.

So, I’m a size 8-10, whoopdie-freakin-do. Am I a better person because of it? No, I don’t think so - I have friends who are more beautiful, more accomplished and pick up men by the bucketload because their confidence shines through, and I’m talking about women who are both bigger and smaller than me.

I’ve hated my body for as long as I can remember and, although I’m not one of those women who discuss diet, calorie intake, exercise etc with others (and I mean NEVER; mine is a strictly internal dialogue because I couldn’t stand people thinking I was fishing for compliments, or being disingenuous, or that I’m a bit of a mental case), I’m sure my self-conciousness about my appearance has been obvious to people who know me and I know it’s held me back in social and professional situations.

I think THIS is the crux of the article. You cannot underestimate the power that mothers have in shaping their children’s view of the world. I make sure my child knows what’s ‘good’ for him in terms of food being nutritious, and that getting out and running and playing outside is more fun than sitting in front of the TV. I would never get into the fat/skinny/dieting, not-good-enough-because-you-don’t-look-a-certain-way rubbish, either in front of him or with him. It leads to an unhealthy view of the self. I know it sounds like I’m blaming my mother entirely here, but I know I’m an adult and I do take responsibility for myself - I’m much, much more level-headed about the whole thing now at 30 than I was at 18. But the damage was done early and it’s taken some struggle to reverse. Parents need to know that children soak this stuff up like sponges - I’d hate to think of little girls having the same kind of experience as me.

randy marsh says:

07:17pm | 05/04/11

classic fat person jealously :D

fit and healthy women will always be the more attractive and this is why they get all the men, deal with it

MJ says:

08:04pm | 05/04/11

Fit & healthy woman ARE real women with curves! Bean-poles are NOT healthy! This is the thing!

And to clarify - curves are CURVES, not ROLLS! Women are meant to have CURVES!

Anyone who thinks a real woman’s figure is meant to resemble that of rice-stick noodle is living in la-la land!

Robert Smissen, rural SA, God's own country says:

10:25am | 06/04/11

Randy, Randy, Randy, I said curves not rolls of fat spilling over their jeans, just look at our athletes, they arefit, HOT & have curves. Google Australian women’s Lacrosse team, super fit, probably some of the fittest women in Oz. In fact It think you might be missing the thing that makes a woman sexy no matter how she looks & that is a personality which in turn gives them confidence. You seem to have a juvenile mind that equates “pretty” with sexy, women & men age, if you have a personality you will be appealing no matter how old you become.

Robert Smissen, rural SA, God's own country says:

10:30am | 06/04/11

Randy how do you think that blind people determine sexiness? ? ? Going by some of your comments you are probably very young or are juvenile in your thinking & people call you “randy” because you are & not in a relationship, paying for it does not constitute a relationship

CMM says:

11:59am | 06/04/11

Robert and MJ: you have both missed the point of this article entirely. It’s about a woman’s perception of her body. This can apply to fat women, it can apply to thin women and those in between. Casting judgements on a particular body shape simply feeds this negativity.

I’m a thin, un-curvy woman. I’ve weighed just under 50kg since my late teens. I don’t work at being skinny - I have a very healthy appetite and exercise only once or twice a week for fitness and health rather than weight loss or toning.  People like you would probably put me in the bean pole or stick figure category. Constantly reading about “real women” having curves does nothing for my self esteem and body confidence. I would love to have boobs and hips and a bum but clearly it’s not to be. My body shape is what it is. I’ll probably always be petite. Skinny bashing is just as hurtful to me as fat bashing is to larger women.

Enough of the judgements. Until we accept that people come in different shapes and sizes and that there’s no ideal, we will continue to feel miserable about how we look.

MJ says:

08:25pm | 07/04/11

I haven’t missed the point of this article, nor am I suggesting that there are not a variety of healthy body-shapes a person could be.

Most of my comments have been in response to other comments suggesting that a healthy woman - who does happen to have some shape to her (curves) - is actually quite normal and natural. As a size 10-12, I am shapely, but by no means over-weight. However, I’m seeing plenty of suggestions that someone with my physique *is* overweight. It’s complete rubbish!

CMM says:

10:02am | 08/04/11

You have totally contradicted yourself MJ.

“nor am I suggesting that there are not a variety of healthy body-shapes a person could be.”

“Bean-poles are NOT healthy! This is the thing!
Anyone who thinks a real woman’s figure is meant to resemble that of rice-stick noodle is living in la-la land!”

Remember writing that? Who says a skinny woman is not healthy. Who says I’m meant to be curvy? Does being thin mean I’m not a *cough* real woman?

Seems to me you are having a dig at skinny women and suggesting they are not healthy. You initially responded because you didn’t like someone suggesting a 10-12 is overweight. Fair enough. But why must you put down another body type (bean pole, rice-stick noodles) at the same time?

That’s why I said you missed the point. The point is trying to get ALL women, regardless of shape and size, to feel good about themselves and let go of the bad body issues. How can that happen when we constantly put each other down?

Sad Sad Reality says:

10:16pm | 05/04/11

SSR thinks your dedication to exercise makes you smokin’ hot. If some of the sooks on this blog had half your dedication, we wouldn’t be facing most of the major health problems we are and there would be a lot more attractive people around.

Imperfect Android says:

08:30am | 06/04/11

This isn’t about encouraging people to be obsese, it’s about encouraging people to be happy with a healthy body.

Do you want to know why you don’t see millions of anorexics? Because a lot of them are already dead. Eating too much kills you slowly, not eating kills you a hell of a lot sooner. The ones that are alive and ‘function’ can hide it. They’re the women (and men) who sit on the knife’s edge. They drink loads of water instead of eating, they vomit what they eat, when they eat. They binge. They start it all again.

As a size 8-10, I get hit with both sides of it. If I’m not feeling too ‘big’ because of stupid boy’s comments from when I was a teenager, I’m feeling too ‘small’ because of the perception that due to my size, I must be starving myself. But my parents instilled in me a confidence, that no matter what size is on my clothing tags, I’m not a lesser person because of it. So while I work hard to ignore the skewed view when I look in the mirror, I still ignore it.

That’s not to say I don’t think there shouldn’t be a push for people to be healthy. I don’t think being fat is any different to being a functioning anorexic. People need help either way. But that’s not what this article is about. This article is about us owning up to the reality of our bodies and not passing on something negative to children, when we can just teach them to love something that’s good for them.

McSmashes says:

10:15pm | 06/04/11

Once again its “female issue” of anorexia.  Disgusting.  No wonder so many males resort to drugs and suicide.