Don’t bring your kids and other supermarket rules
It’s taken a few tests but I’ve finally figured out why it’s so hard to watch the new Kmart ad without grimacing. Have you seen it? It’s the one where an attractive young mum pushes a stroller through Kmart with one hand, balances a two-year old on her hip and talks on her mobile phone with the other, while the older child (my guess about five years of age?) runs ahead of her.
Cue super helpful Kmart guy who comes to the rescue, somehow managing to both read her mind and reach for the most hard-to-get kettle on the shelf, deposit it into the hands of the renegade five year old and not for a single second interrupt the woman’s phone-call.
The result, a wonderfully apt depiction of all the things that drive me nuts about shopping centres, specifically supermarkets and the pesky little habits they bring out in even the best of people.
Case in point, just yesterday I walked past a family of four standing together in the cleaning products aisle of my local supermarket. Whether they were there to actually shop is anyone’s guess but I do know they left having caught up on all the previous week’s domestic detritus and the assurance that their assembled presence- in-front of several popular household items- made everyone else’s afternoon dash to the supermarket just that little bit more inconvenient.
Just as we have road rules to keep driving chaos in check maybe we need to fit indicators to supermarket trolleys and even consider adding seat-belts to ensure the kids are strapped close to their parents and our collective capacity to inflict full-blown trolley rage is kept to bare minimum.
But while we sit and wait for that kind of thing to happen, here’s my wish list for supermarket etiquette. Have you got anything to add?
1. Don’t bring your children
2. Don’t walk in the centre of the aisle
3. Don’t leave your trolley loaded in a queue while you “just race off to find [insert any product] but it actually takes 10 minutes leaving everyone else in the queue to wait or worse, look around for you.
4. Don’t shop and talk on the phone
5. Don’t let your child push the trolley
6. Learn to steer a trolley. And crucially, avoid the ones with broken wheels
7. If shopping with a friend, share a trolley instead of careering down the centre of the aisle oblivious to everyone else
8. Watch out for the cash-only sign. And if you’ve got more than 12 items, the short aisle is not for you
9. If you drop something, pick it up
10. Don’t leave your trolley close enough to someone else’s car in the car park that they then have to walk your trolley back before they can actually drive away.
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