Share houses are responsible for many of life’s big lessons, but none more than the lesson of housework and why you should teach your kids how to keep house from an early age.

Get a move on, you've got to make dinner soon. Photo: Herald Sun

Why? Because the kids without these kind of lessons are the bane of communal living, simply because their idea of tidying the house or washing up differs vastly from everyone elses.

They’re the people who don’t wash up, and the people who think it’s OK to leave cups, glasses, bottles of wine and leftover food on the coffee table before going to bed. In other words, they are slobs.

Well now science has an explanation. Researchers from the University of New South Wales have found that mothers do roughly six times more housework than their adult sons, 4.4 times more than their grown up daughters and about twice as much as the father in the house.

That means right now in Australia there are a stack of parents raising and supporting an entire generation of kids, who will provide an eloquently worded and vehemently passionate reason for doing absolutely squat around the house.

But, parents of Australia don’t let these highly educated so’s and so’s fool you. You’re not their slave; you’re their teacher and the person who could save them the humiliation of several awkward conversations with flatmates, when they finally do move out of home. Really, you’d be doing them a favour.

So drop that mop. Here are some key rules that you can pass on right now, to any kids still living at home. Especially the ones that are still fast asleep or have just walked dumped a pile of washing in the laundry before standing in front of the fridge and complaining that there’s never anything to eat.

1. Don’t let the sun go down on your dishes
2. Get a good vacuum cleaner and use it at least once a week
3. Clean the toilet and bathroom sink and shower at least once a week - don’t forget to clean the mirror
4. There is no milk or toilet paper fairy. Replace them
5. Garbage doesn’t walk itself out to the bin

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    • Mahhrat says:

      09:15am | 23/11/12

      So long as it’s safe and hygenic, keep your house however you damn well please.  Kids grow up so unexposed to dirt and germs that I think it’s what is causing more kids than ever to be asthmatic and generally sickly.

      Saying that, I agree that in a share house that requires compromise, and a level of cleanliness that you might not share, but parents are free to explain cleanliness to their kids however they like.

      That doesn’t mean I disagree with any of the tips.  They’re good advice for general housecleaning, but let’s not make this about “who has the best kids”.

    • Ally says:

      10:27am | 23/11/12

      I don’t think it’s about “who has the best kids” at all. It’s about teaching kids how to look after themselves and their houses at a basic level, not to mention teaching them to contribute to a shared environment.

      I know a couple of young adults that still live at home and do absolutely nothing for themselves. They don’t cook, they don’t do their own washing, they don’t contribute to bills, they don’t do any of the cleaning. Parents might think they’re just looking after their kids but they’re setting their kids up for a massive shock if and when they eventually move out.

    • Kika says:

      11:53am | 23/11/12

      You are right. Plus the type of cleaning agents we use these days are all chemicals and very very strong whereas in the past our Nana’s would have used more simple household products to clean. Yes, more germs but at least kids’ immune systems were strengthened. What happened to baking powder and lemon people?

    • Matt says:

      12:35pm | 23/11/12

      Disagee Ally. I was one of them, until I was 25yo.

      At home - No board, didn’t contribute to bills, home cooked meals every day cooked by mum, never did any chores.

      The savings enabled me to buy a hosue at 25 and as soon as I moved out you know what happened? I cooked, I did my chores, I keep my house clean and I live my life exactly the same as someone who did these things whilst at home.

      I have mates who were the same. We all agree - we knew we had it good at home. Just because we didn’t do those things (pay bills, clean, cook) doesn’t mean we didn’t know they need to be done or how to do them.

    • leelee says:

      01:20pm | 23/11/12

      I’m with you, Mahhrat.

      My motto is “a spotless house is a sign of a wasted life”. I have better things to do with my life than keep the house in show home conditions.

      It is clean, hygienic and safe. Untidy? Often. Do I care. Not one iota.

    • Ben says:

      01:56pm | 23/11/12

      In reply to Matt… how did you not doing any cooking or cleaning help you save money? I think it is great you managed to save money and buy a house at your age. I’m 35 and still not there…but how on earth did you not helping to keep your home clean save you money?

    • e says:

      02:38pm | 23/11/12

      So Matt…you congratulate yourself for cooking, cleaning etc when you moved out of home but openly acknowledge you totally took advantage of your family (presumably your mother) when you were living at home. You say that you knew that all those things needed to get done, you were perfectly capable of doing them but chose instead to be lazy and selfish.
      Bravo.

    • Mum not slave says:

      04:15pm | 23/11/12

      As a Mum, I have to agree with e. Mothers (or women in general) don’t have a ‘cooking’ gene that makes them rush to the shops, collect the food and then turn on the stove at 5pm.
      It’s called ‘contributing’, and I’m sure your mother already had a gutful of her unpaid, repetitive hours of cooking and cleaning before you turned 18.
      And as an adult living in the house, you didn’t contribute a cent to the cost of your keep, let alone the unspoken - but real - cost of her labour. Shame on you!

    • Sickemrex says:

      05:31pm | 23/11/12

      It’s ok e and Mum not slave, hopefully if Matt has kids, they will walk all over him too.

    • Gladys says:

      09:16am | 23/11/12

      I’m going to brag here. My daughter is 4yo and she was at the neighbour’s being babysat last week. My neighbour gave her dinner and they ate together having a lovely chat. Then my neighbour stood up to take something into the kitchen, my daughter took her bowl in and put it on the sink.

      Sometimes I feel a bit lazy about telling my daughter to bring her bowls to the kitchen (it’s a small thing, surely I should do it? she’s only 4!!) But on the other hand, she is learning in small ways that no food is left around the house.

      But when my neighbour told me about my daughter taking her bowl to the sink, I was so proud I could burst. And brag. So there you go. I bragged!

    • scott says:

      10:00am | 23/11/12

      Your kid is average

    • Gladys says:

      10:20am | 23/11/12

      @ Scott I don’t care. She cleaned up after herself when she was at someone else’s house!!

      She’s also putting her toys away at night and making her bed (sort of).

      And she’s fully toilet trained.

    • Ally says:

      10:30am | 23/11/12

      I see your 4 year old and raise you my 2 1/2 year old niece, who puts all her cups and bowls in the sink, but also actively looks for bits of rubbish to put in the bin.

    • Rose says:

      10:43am | 23/11/12

      Four year old…fully toilet trained….I should bloody well hope so!!!

    • Rose says:

      11:01am | 23/11/12

      It’s actually a piece of cake to get young kids to do little tasks, they love making mummy and daddy happy and if they get praise putting dishes on the sink or picking up their toys they will continue to do it and lap up the attention. Once they hit school and start to find find more interesting ways to fill their day, and they start talking to other kids who don’t have to do things, and start having and expressing independent thoughts and get the idea that they should get money or stuff for jobs, then it becomes impressive that kids still do stuff off their own bat.
      By the way, nearly every kid behaves better at other people’s homes than they do at their own home, it’s just the way it is.
      On the other hand, be proud of your little girl, every kid should be so lucky as to have parents who genuinely enjoy them an are openly proud of them!!

    • Robert Smissen of country SA says:

      11:35am | 23/11/12

      My daughter was 25mt old when her brother was born, I told her that whilst we still loved her very much that she’d need to help her mother to look after the baby. 34 years later & she still looks out for her 3 brothers as well as her own 3 kids not to mention working with GOM kids in a Kindergarten

    • Tom says:

      11:52am | 23/11/12

      Be proud of your daughter, and keep encouraging her to do right. She sounds polite and respectful, good on her. Dont listen to the discouraging replies.

    • Robert Smissen of country SA says:

      12:37pm | 23/11/12

      Thanks Tom, I’d like to think that she was put on earth for a purpose, like her Nana before her she seems touch a lot of lives, many, many people tell me how she had helped the & touched their lives, I am in total awe of her, I love her & her brothers deeply.

    • steve says:

      01:00pm | 23/11/12

      You people need to stop teaching your kids bad habits.  Dirty dishes do not go into the sink, they go on in the dishwasher.  And if the dishwasher is going they go in orderly piles on the bench.

    • Leah says:

      03:34pm | 23/11/12

      Gladys, I would wonder what’s wrong if your 4yo WASN’T toilet trained. That’s not brag-worthy :-\

      However while Rose is right that a lot of kids behave better for other people than their own families, there are also a lot of kids these days who don’t give a toss about anybody and expect everyone else to do everything for them, so good on her for at least being able to clean up after herself.

    • Peter says:

      04:31pm | 23/11/12

      @Ally, I see your 2 1/2 old with a just over two year old who puts her nappies into the bin since she was 1 1/2 and climbs like a mountain goat. She is a terrible two now so you can have her!!!!! Very cute and very cheeky! She has been teasing me constantly for the past six months and only forgets to tease me when she is scared (runs off in a shopping centre)

    • Schultz says:

      05:57pm | 23/11/12

      @Peter. I see your 18month old who climbs like a mountain goat and puts her own nappies in the bin and raise you my three month old that is fully toilet trained, cooks dinner on occaision, hangs out her own washing and Karchers the windows every weekend.

      My child is better than yours.

    • Ridge says:

      09:18am | 23/11/12

      Finally, something good on this site.

      Totally agree.  Teach kids to clean up after themselves, instill some god damn discipline.

    • Peter says:

      10:16am | 23/11/12

      And beat them with a stick, if you have one handy.  God dam kids.

    • Ridge says:

      10:52am | 23/11/12

      Reward them with a carrot, now you’re getting it!

    • iansand says:

      11:07am | 23/11/12

      Or hit them with a carrot and kill two birds with one stone.

    • Sam says:

      11:38am | 23/11/12

      Or use the birds as you minions to keep an eye on them and drop carrots on their heads when they slack off. Meanwhile you can go watch the cricket.

    • owl says:

      09:21am | 23/11/12

      It seems to be the case that our kids have been spoiled rotten. Parents make a rod for their own backs and then unleash their untrained charges into the world.
      Lets hope these birds of a feather flock together, because there is no joy living with one slob let alone several!
      P.S. I like your five rules smile

    • jjohn says:

      09:32am | 23/11/12

      No truth in this story! Our 5 children were never asked or did any work around the house and yet they all have very clean houses! They did watch and learn.

    • Bea Riel says:

      12:43pm | 23/11/12

      Hmm perhaps you have lower standards of cleanliness or they all have clean partners?  You can rationalise anything…

    • jjohn says:

      06:28pm | 23/11/12

      I’m just saying that your behaviour isn’t always a product of your parents. I hope my children can think for themselves.

    • Peter says:

      09:37am | 23/11/12

      So, Lucy, did you clean the house as a kid?  Or did your mother do the bulk of it?  Honest, now!

    • expat says:

      09:39am | 23/11/12

      Haha one thing I do not miss, housework. Viva la house keeper!

    • Economist says:

      09:45am | 23/11/12

      I don’t think it is necessary to get the kids to do their fair share of housework. Sure some housework, but mainly get them to tidy up after themselves. I think the key is to lead by example, to maintain and have a clean HH so that when they do move out they can easily do it.

      As for vacuum cleaners ignore the Dyson crap. You don’t need to spend more than $500,00 on good vacuum cleaner.  I recommend a Rowenta Silence force compact. It’s quiet has brilliant suction.

    • Joel M-J says:

      10:24am | 23/11/12

      Thanks Economist!

      I’ve been struggling with my El-Cheapo Vacuum for a while now.

      Going to check this one out.

    • Nathan Explosion says:

      10:24am | 23/11/12

      I got an awesome bagless Hoover for about $150. It’s pretty loud, so we just lock the cats in another room.

    • Economist says:

      10:54am | 23/11/12

      I paid about $380 for it at Harvey Norman, it came with $300s worth of Jamie Oliver frying pans. Keep your eye out for deals. It has all appropriate attachments and uses universal bags. I find bagless vaccums don’t have anywhere near the same suction and upright vaccums are useless for getting under beds, couches, tv cabinets, even the dining room table. Uprights are for people who like to look clean, but accept layers of dust under everything.

    • Harry D Fish says:

      10:59am | 23/11/12

      For what it’s worth I have a Sauber Intelligence.  Not cheap at 1600 but practically takes the carpet off the floor.  Spend well, expensive and wisely and your cleaner can be like my great grandmothers original electolux from the 30s I still have and use to vacuum the car.

    • Gary T says:

      11:57am | 23/11/12

      I have a wife. Before that I had a mother. Both top quality but the wife is more expensive to run

    • Nathan Explosion says:

      12:26pm | 23/11/12

      @Economist

      Mine isn’t an upright, and has all the cool attachments. We have polished floorboards, and it’s great gor getting in the corners and skirting boards.

    • Economist says:

      01:18pm | 23/11/12

      Mr Explosion you want to have a vaccum cleaner measuring contest! wink Well the Rowenta has a telescopic extension, with a pointy head for geting into those tight corners. It’s silent but deadly.

      Did I mention that it’s black!

    • Banker says:

      10:05am | 23/11/12

      Housework, another amusing folly the lower class occupy themselves with.

    • Garry says:

      10:28am | 23/11/12

      At least we know how to do it. It’s people like you who normally pay someone else to do stuff for them (cook food, clean house, wash car, pet minding, lawn mowing, etc) who’ll feel the pinch the most when all the money disappears.

    • Banker says:

      11:02am | 23/11/12

      I have the same chance of winning the lottery so I’d say the risk is hedged.

    • sunny says:

      10:14am | 23/11/12

      Righto listen up all your lazy arse sharehouse slobs who let mold build up in the bathroom because it’s all to hard (and yicky) to keep on top the situation - this is your King speaking. I am going to change your lives with these next ten words, just as my life was changed by them:

      Easy Off Bam Multi-surface Power Cleaner Spray With Bleach

      You might want to copy paste these words somewhere because of your short attention spans. Now go forth on a quest and seek the meaning of these words, and for your reward you will discover the holy grail that is the peaceful co-existence of laziness and cleanliness.

    • Leila says:

      11:45am | 23/11/12

      Anything with bleach will eat slowly into your tiles and doesn’t kill the bleach, thats why mould keeps growing back in the same place. I prefer Shower Power and Mould power which aren’t bleach based and are an Aussie company

    • sunny says:

      12:52pm | 23/11/12

      I believe I will embark on yet another quest to seek the meaning of these new words you speak, for I shall not rest until I can optimise both laziness AND effectiveness when cleaning my bathroom ..iow cheers I’ll check it out smile

    • Electric Blue says:

      03:48pm | 23/11/12

      You do not need expensive cleaners to kill mould…besides bleach does not kill mould.

      White vinegar kills mould beautifully. We had a slipped tile which caused a slight leak. A patch of mould appeared on the ceiling. Once the slipped tile was fixed I just kept spraying white vinegar onto the mould every few days and it went away and hasn’t come back…this was close to 2 years ago.

      White vinegar is also so much cheaper.

    • NESLIHAN KUROSAWA says:

      10:19am | 23/11/12

      Hi Lucy,

      Now there is some really useful and helpful hints for all children and grownups equally! And I was referring to the last paragraph and all those handy points.  Could I also say that it was the way we were all brought up before the invention of and addiction to mobile phones, the Internet and our valuable lab tops.  And I have always thought that it was a cultural thing that most mothers were stuck with daily house hold chores day in and day out. 

      However sadly these days most children thrive on something called instant gratification.  As parents we are simply giving into their demands of having all the latest toys and gadgets in sight. And why do we reward and give into such behavior so easily? All that freedom may not mean much with no sense of responsibility, pride and achievement on their part, firstly. Can we also say that as working parents we mostly feel guilty that we don’t seem to have enough time to dedicate to the proper upbringing of our most valuable possessions?

      Could we also say that over indulgence is the first form of child abuse?  As children grow up they also need to be taught the value of feeling useful and helpful around the house, so that they gain those lifelong social skills and responsibilities necessary for life.  Simply because the actual sense of satisfaction from a job well done will do wonders for their self confidence and self esteem. As well as teaching them valuable lessons essential for later on in their personal lives.  Kind regards.

    • Nathan Explosion says:

      10:22am | 23/11/12

      Heh, we had these huge stained glass bay windows when I was growing up. I had to polish them before I was allowed to go out and play on saturday mornings. 

      Now I really hate cleaning the windows.

      Wife does the majority of the washing up, but I usually do it when I cook. Because when I cook, I use about twice and many pots, pans and plates as I need to.

    • Audra Blue says:

      04:04pm | 23/11/12

      I was treated as an indentured servant as a child and as a result I HATE, LOATHE AND DESPITE housework, even though I love a clean house.  What I hate most is doing the dishes.

      Since my son moved in with me, everything is more:  more dishes, more garbage produced, more toilet paper used, more soap scum in the bath.  And it’s nearly impossible to keep up.  I would love a dishwasher, it would solve the fights and keep the kitchen clean.  But the landlord won’t put one in and I only really need it when he’s there.

      On my own, I don’t make any mess.

      At least he’ll be moving out next month and I can go back to having a clean, girly smelling apartment again.

    • Natalie says:

      10:24am | 23/11/12

      I couldn’t agree more! My flat mate is a total pig. He hasn’t washed his sheets once since I moved in - 9 months ago. He has never cleaned the bathroom or kitchen. In fact, he has never done a scrap of housework at all.

      I’m moving out next week.

    • Kate says:

      10:55am | 23/11/12

      That’s gross… what’s his name so I make sure I don’t EVER date him?

      I had a few like that, no amount of reminding or talking seems to work long term. One who would leave clumps of his hair in the bottom of the shower (and I mean a fistful every week… I don’t know how he had any hair left), and another who would come home and cook up a storm, then disappear off to her boyfriend’s for a week leaving piles of dirty dishes.

      The straw that broke the camel’s back though was the one who cut his toenails on the coffee table, and left the clippings there. Moved out the next week following a massive fight over cleaning. I hear he’s still the same…

    • Guy says:

      10:32am | 23/11/12

      I know that as I lay on my death bed, all I’ll be thinking is, “I’m so glad I chased down those last bits of dust!”

    • jade (the other one) says:

      10:47am | 23/11/12

      The trouble with raising neat freak children is that they cannot cope when other people do not share their propensity. And in a share house, more often than not, people don’t mind a few dishes being left in a sink, or a handbag left on a couch.

      I’ve lived with neat freaks, slobs and sensible people. The neat freaks are by far the hardest to live with, because they are the ones who feel it appropriate to pass judgment on their housemates, and treat everyone else like tiny children. They are also the least unable to compromise on anything.

      I’ve been living with one recently, and the list of things she HAS to control is exhausting. Nothing is allowed on the bench, not even a vase or a jar of coffee. Her housemates cannot leave their handbags on a lounge. DVD’s cannot be left on the TV unit, they must immediately be put back into the bookshelf where they are kept. A magazine or newspaper cannot be left on the coffee table. Guests are not permitted without 24 hours notice, even for a cup of coffee (unless they are her guests). Despite the fact that her two housemates do not share her inclinations regarding guests, or having a vase or ornament on benches or tables, we are expected to live by her rules.

      And when she doesn’t get her way, it’s like the world is ending. The normal people and the slobs I have lived with are not nearly so precious. And we are much more able to suck up minor annoyances, and are much more accommodating of each other’s needs and respectful of property and space.  This girl cannot even wash up a knife or fork belonging to someone else. Or have her things washed up. She will literally stand in line at the sink to wash a plate and knife and fork, even if everyone has offered to do so, because “She’s responsible for her own cleaning”. Which is fine, but to then extend that to complaining if I do our other housemate’s dishes or she does mine is almost pathologically controlling.

    • Rose says:

      11:07am | 23/11/12

      I lived with a neat freak once, it was hell on earth. I had to sew a button on my work uniform one day and I was already cutting it fine to get to work on time. I left the needle, scissors and cotton on a side table and didn’t put it away properly. I didn’t realize her parents were visiting that day and I got a huge spray when I got home about leaving the flat in such a mess (seriously, one roll of cotton, a pair of scissors and a needle!! Everything else was spotless).
      I moved out very soon afterwards!!

    • Ally says:

      11:16am | 23/11/12

      Yeah, but it’s not really about making your kids in to neat freaks, it’s about ensuring they know the basics so they’re not confronted by a washing machine and not know how it works.

      Besides, I reckon neat freaks are going to turn out that way regardless of how their parents bring them up. My parents keep a neat and tidy house, but not obsessively so. We were all taught the basics. Now, my brother and I veer towards doing the minimum required to clean our houses, while our sister runs a much, much tighter ship.

    • Lee says:

      12:05pm | 23/11/12

      I’d so enjoy watching a sitcom based on your housemate’s peculiarities.

    • Audra Blue says:

      04:07pm | 23/11/12

      OMG she reminds me of the psycho sister I no longer speak to!

    • aj says:

      10:56am | 23/11/12

      Cleaning that frequently especially the shower and bathroom exposes your kids to chemicals far worse then what they are being exposed to with it being dirty. Cleaning should never be obsessive, it should be done in moderation like many other things. (The suggestions above are obsessive) My parents were clean freaks and all 3 of us got bad allergies in our late teens because of it.

    • Rachel says:

      10:58am | 23/11/12

      If kids are old enough to live in share houses, then they’re old enough to figure out how to clean. I don’t make my son do much housework, because I have priorities and that isn’t one of them. Life is a learning process, and I don’t believe I have to turn out a fully developed human being. God knows, nobody else I know has.

    • Rose says:

      11:14am | 23/11/12

      Talk about lowering the bar!!
      It may not be your priority to have your son complete homework, but you could well be setting him up for all types of strife at school, there will be a price to pay for not completing homework, but it appears you’re not to fussed that he’ll suffer because you “have other priorities’.
      You may not be aiming to turn out a fully developed human being, but at least most of us are giving it a bloody good shot!!

    • Rose says:

      11:17am | 23/11/12

      I do apologize, for some reason I read ‘homework’ instead of ‘housework’....

    • Kika says:

      11:56am | 23/11/12

      But Rachel - what about his poor future spouse/wife/partner? You are setting them up to be your son’s slave. We are working more and more hours equally so it’s only fair your son learns to pick up the vacuum and help out.

    • Rachel says:

      12:57pm | 23/11/12

      I don’t believe that I have raised a son who is inconsiderate and lazy. I certainly hope I haven’t raised a son who would allow a woman to slave for him. I think that is the real point. I expect him to clean up after himself, and make a contribution to the maintenance of the household, and he suffers the natural consequences when he doesn’t.
      I don’t think that housework is something that must be taught, particularly in childhood. It’s fairly self evident, and I expect that he will do it when it’s necessary.  As I have said, I have other priorities, and just to be clear, they are my priorities for raising him, not my priorities for myself.

    • Leah says:

      03:55pm | 23/11/12

      “It’s fairly self evident, and I expect that he will do it when it’s necessary. “

      The problem is, Rachel, for a lot of people it’s not “fairly self-evident”. If they’ve been constantly cleaned up after their whole life they often expect it to continue.

      Your son’s age really would have a lot to do with this. If he’s 4 then I understand your attitude. Most of the time it’s more efficient to do the cleaning yourself than teach your 4 year old how to do it and potentially fix up any problems they’ve actually created while trying to clean. But if he’s 14 then I do think making sure he learns how to cook (even just basic stuff), do the laundry, clean windows, clean the bathroom, vacuum etc should be a priority. They are life skills like reading, writing, manners, working in a team, etc.

    • Rachel says:

      05:45pm | 23/11/12

      He is 15 and he knows how to do all of that. He even does it occasionally. I just don’t make him. My priorities are his studies, his job and spending time together as a family, in no particular order. And he’s not ‘a lot of people’. He is my son, I know him quite well, and he’ll be fine, just as I was. There isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ approach to raising children.

    • Al says:

      11:21am | 23/11/12

      Try living with someone who grew up in a houshold where they had their own cleaner, cook etc.
      It’s a pain trying to educate them as adults that the dishes don’t just disappear and appear clean in the cupboards and that dirty stuff doesn’t disappear if they leave it long enough.
      I found dumping their accumulated dishes onto their bed when I have too move them to do my own seems to work though.

    • Jack says:

      11:47am | 23/11/12

      My parents were the slob-raising kind. Every day I would hear about how messy my room was, and every time it got too bad, the “cleaning fairy” would come. I never had to do anything.

      Anxiety over mess would always get the better of them, and by the time I got home from school I had a clean room whether I wanted it or not. I tried to tell them I could do it for myself, they just had to stop cleaning. Of course, they never left it more than 2 days. Why would they believe a lazy teenager anyway? He’s never used the vacuum once in his life!

      The thought of cleaning my room was totally absurd. Hearing the complains about what I missed, what I did wrong, etc. I especially hated the way mum would joke she’s never seen me clean before. Just maybe, if she’d started teaching me how to use a vacuum at 5, instead of tossing it in my room at 15 and giving the years old “you have a dirty room” rant, there would be progress.

      As for now, I have my own place, I live a lone and it’s a dump. No surprises here.

    • Mum not slave says:

      04:26pm | 23/11/12

      Of course it’s all your Mum’s fault you refused to co-operate!
      Mum wasn’t nice when she complained about your messy room, how mean of her!
      Still have some growing up to do I see.

    • Robin says:

      11:49am | 23/11/12

      I have lived with a few people over the years.  I think we were all average, as in we did the work and the place was fairly clean, though a bit of mess here and there is part of life.  But one fellow persisted in getting drunk then leaving his pizza boxes and empty stubbies all over the lounge every Friday night, then going out Saturday leaving it behind until the following day.  I got fed up and picked up the whole lot and placed it neatly in his bed, fluffed up the blankets a bit, and had a nice laugh when he jumped in on a Sunday night.  He left us the next week.

    • Robert Smissen of country SA says:

      11:50am | 23/11/12

      21 years ago I became a sole parent with 3 kids, 9, 13 & 15. Because I worked 60hrs a week they stepped up to the crease & with a little prodding from my daughter we had a high funcioning home, always clean (not always tidy) home work done, attended Lacrosse training twice a week (played on the week-end) they learned to work as a team. I always expected the best of them & that is what I got, if you expect the worst of your kids, you’ll get that too. Around this time I told one of their friends mother that she was a bad parent & got the erruption that I was expected. I explained that because she always picked up after him, bought his toiletries, did his laundry & even made his bed. I told her NO modern girl would ever cop her son as a\ partner, that she had ruined his chances of happiness because she hadn’t taught him to be an adult. By the time my kids left home in their late teen they could operate a vac, washer & iron & they could all cook. Reality is mothers train their sons to fail because they invariably do more for sons than their daughters. Despite coming from a broken home, all my kids are sucessful in work & life

    • Maryjane says:

      06:35pm | 23/11/12

      Robert you’re lucky she didn’t hit you.  Never, ever tell a parent where they’re going wrong.  Even if they ask you.  Just quietly stop being their friend.

    • Kika says:

      12:02pm | 23/11/12

      My Mum was the type of mum where she would love to moan about how nobody helps her, yet if you offer, she will refuse. She likes things done ‘her’ way. She appreciated the offer though.
      So I didn’t ever do much around the house apart from helping with ironing when I needed pocket money.
      However, I must have learned by Mum’s example coz I’m pretty fastidious with how I clean too. I’m not as crazy about it as she is…but I like things done my way.  I’m lucky my husband shares a lot of the load though - he does the washing and ironing and an occasional vacuum. If I have a son I will teach him to help out. It’s only fair. Life has changed and we all work long hours. I think the way to get kids thinking of helping is pocket money - this teaches them about having a good work ethic and that if you work hard you get a good pay off.

    • GM says:

      12:27pm | 23/11/12

      My mother did everything for me and I grew up in the 70s.. I wasn’t expected to clean the house, but guess what? I’m not a slob and have been successfully cooking, cleaning, washing and ironing for myself ever since I moved out of home when I was in my early 20s. It’s not rocket science.

    • Ash says:

      12:55pm | 23/11/12

      My mum is pretty much the biggest neat freak to ever exist (share your stories here - I can top them) and while her favourite complaint is that no one in the house ever does any cleaning and that we live like slobs, in reality we all do our bit.

      Ever since I was in my early teens (I’m 21 now and on the verge of moving out once my current job becomes full time) I’ve been expected to vacuum the house once or twice a week, wash dishes, clean up after I make my breakfast and do my own laundry, although I usually just chuck it in with Dad’s when he does his - when I do it myself he does the same.

      That said, when the eye of my mum is not there to ensure that I leave everything spotless I (and my dad and two sisters) revert into slob mode and frantically clean up before she returns. It’s almost a family joke. My room remains a mess, and odds are my flat will be the same.

      In short - parental attitudes don’t really matter. If you (or your parent/spouse) like things clean you’ll be made to keep them that way. If you don’t care, you won’t.

      With that said, I don’t think it ever killed me to at least know how to keep a place somewhat clean should I ever have female company.

    • Young Liberal says:

      12:57pm | 23/11/12

      Here is an idea:

      Lets get ‘illegal’ immigrants into people’s houses to work for their dole doing housework, running errands, child minding etc.

      That would teach kids that they don’t have to do housework, there will always be a desperate person to exploi…sorry, lend a helping hand too.

      If the ASIO returns an adverse security assessment, any mony paid can be recouped by the taxpayer.

    • dak says:

      01:25pm | 23/11/12

      Oh yeah, blame the frigging parents. As if we don’t cop it enough…

    • Question says:

      02:09pm | 23/11/12

      .....are you implying that its NOT your responsibilty to teach your children how to cook and clean for themselves so that their skills can be applied in later life? If not you, then who?

    • Faith says:

      06:13pm | 23/11/12

      Um, it is the teachers job of course!
      They have to teach kids everything else, why not cooking an cleaning too?
      These days your job as a parent is done once you have given birth and weaned the kid onto solids, then it’s back to work and kid is in paid care until school. That is what you pay the careers for and why you go back to work so soon.
      But as long as the kids wears expensive clothes, then it doesn’t matter if they can’t clean or cook.

    • Imogen says:

      01:25pm | 23/11/12

      Not only is not teaching your children tough in a share house situation, but think of their future spouse!

      My fiancé moved out if home at 22 and into a house with me. As a kid I had to keep my room tidy, wash the dishes a few times a week, vacuum every now and then and sometimes dust. My fiancé never did any of those things, he never had to, and his mother never taught him how!

      It’s been quite annoying trying to teach him the basics of housework, things he should have learnt as a kid! Or at least as a teenager. I don’t think a few chores now and then would have hurt him at all. And it would have saved a lot of arguments and strife with me now.

      And of course his parents would come over, and the house would be spotless. I’m sure they tell all their friends that they never made their children do chores, but its ok, look how clean their house is now! Little do they realize that the lovely clean house is all thanks to me, and not to their son, who was at the time playing video games.

      Please teach your children to do housework!

    • Andrew C says:

      02:14pm | 23/11/12

      There is clearly a difference between knowing how to clean and having a desire to keep things clean.

      My Mother taught me how to clean - through trial and error on my part. The error usually ending in a guilt trip of some description.

      However it was my first housemate when I moved out of home who taught me a balance of respect for others and put up or shut up. Basically if something was dirty - clean it. He made it clear, that if we all do our bit to keep things neat, it will result in less mass clean ups.

      So yes parents should teach the how (particularly using a washing machine - it still amazes me the people that don’t know how), but the individual will make up their own mind has to how “clean” they will be.

      Oh and a tip to all those felafel holding housemates out there. Have a conversation about what clean means to each of you. It can be very enlightening, and generally results in better outcomes. And if all that fails put their crap in piles in the kitchen/loungeroom - make it very obvious! People don’t like you touching their stuff I’ve found.

    • Leah says:

      03:28pm | 23/11/12

      “Researchers from the University of New South Wales have found that mothers do roughly six times more housework than their adult sons, 4.4 times more than their grown up daughters and about twice as much as the father in the house.

      That means right now in Australia there are a stack of parents raising and supporting an entire generation of kids, who will provide an eloquently worded and vehemently passionate reason for doing absolutely squat around the house.”

      Entirely false conclusion there. When I and my sister lived at home with our parents we did nowhere near the same amount of housework as my mum did. But we still did housework, and now that we live out of home we do housework in our own homes too. I have never house-shared (married and live with husband) but my sister does. Most mothers do more housework than their children who live at home, for many it’s just part of mothering, but that doesn’t mean the kids don’t pick up the slack when they leave home.

      Please note I recognise there ARE people out there who haven’t learnt how to do housework and ARE slobs. But I think the % of mothers doing more housework than their at-home kids is much larger than the % of young adults in share houses who don’t do any housework.

    • Lyn says:

      03:39pm | 23/11/12

      one reason my relationship with an ex could never work was that his mother did everything for him -  to the point that when he moved out (age 26) I caught her leaving his house with his laundry! he saw nothing wrong with the fact that he could not work a washing machine or do anything for himself. I just couldn’t respect it; he and his siblings were the most spoiled family I’ve come across which was evident in the careless way they treated the house, their percieved “right” to have a car bought for each of them, and their disregard for all housework.

    • Julie says:

      03:40pm | 23/11/12

      Matt @ 12:35pm. You should be downright ashamed of yourself. You KNEW how to do it all, and you still chose not to at least clean up after yourself. How utterly disrespectful to your mother or whoever cleaned up after you.

 

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