Prev
Next

Croc eating marines from another planet

Lucy Kippist

by Lucy Kippist

18 Nov 05:44am

Must Reads

If sports movies have taught us anything, NSW will win - this is a caption

If sports movies have taught us anything, NSW will win

51

Schapelle has done her time - this is a caption

Schapelle has done her time

182

Do women need to know when to walk away? - this is a caption

Do women need to know when to walk away?

73

Filed under: America, Darwin, Marines, Obama, Society

21 comments

There’s been a lot of talk this week about how crazy those folks in the Northern Territory are.

Ahem, the must-have fashion accessory of the season. Pic: NTNews.com.au

Sure, they got a little carried away by President Obama visit. Offering the man croc insurance to the value of $50,000 might seem just a little ridiculous.

Then there’s the fetching paper hat made available to NT News readers’ in yesterday’s morning edition. Um, well that’s just dorky. But can you blame them? As one member of the Punch team put it to me: this Obama visit is the most exciting thing to happen to that town since those two crazy young things went for it on a balcony.

So what happens when the 250 ( soon to be 2500) American Marines the Obama government have committed to Darwin’s Robertson Barracks roll into town? Will they be prepared for life in the Top End? Can they fit in to a town full of enthusiastic, paper-hat wearing Obama fans?

You bet. Here’s why.

Firstly, Obama fever hasn’t been confined to the enthusiastic people of Darwin. Everyone (including our PM) has gone a little shaky of voice and weak at the knees for the debonair president. So, if they’re crazy, we’re all crazy.  But know this. We’re nowhere near as crazy as the Americans.

For instance, where else in the world can you find an entire generation of people living life as if nothing has changed since the eighteenth century. Here’s looking at you Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. Or a city so completely obsessed with a 67-year-old extra-terrestrial sighting that its name is synonymous with the word UFO. That’d be you, Roswell, New Mexico.

Consider Alabama, where it used to be illegal to play dominoes on a Sunday but still okay to marry your brother. Or Arizona where you could be sentenced to 25 years in jail for cutting down a cactus. Not to mention Tennessee and Florida, states with the highest rates of corruption and identity fraud in the entire country. Or so says this awesome chart that you must look at and email to everyone you know (it is Friday, after all.)

Yeah, the marines understand crazy. So even if people in Darwin were crazy (which they are not), the American Marines would find the Aussie kind of a crazy a blessed relief.

The Americans will also come well prepared. And they’ll be busy. According to yesterday’s NT News most of the troops arrive from stations in Hawaii, Japan and Guam and will be spending most of their time in combat operations, live firing, evacuations, disaster relief and humanitarian assistance around the region.  Plus, they don’t arrive empty handed. American vehicles, aircraft and even ships will follow, to form what the US military call a Marine Air-Ground Task Force.

Above all, the American marines will feel at home in Darwin because most Territorians want them there.  Or so says Darwin local, Tash Bramble, the assistant manager of the aptly named Top End Hotel who told The Punch that everyone in Darwin should be happy about the arrival of the American Marines. Before adding that any economic benefits will far outweigh any possible negatives.

Plus, American Marines are already a pretty regular sight on Darwin streets. They often come in to town while their navy ships are docked and they’re “the most polite people in the world”, according to Ms Bramble.

They’re well-mannered and easy-going, call everyone “ma’am” or “sir” and are generous with the tips. A habit that makes them popular with the mostly female bar staff.

They’re also easy to please. They ask to drink the local Australian beers, as well as the top shelf spirits like bourbon and whiskey.

And they love to chow down on local delicacies such as roo and croc.

Croc-eating marines from another planet.

Only in the NT.

Most commented

427Australia, you have nothing to fear but fear itself
371There's no one Thomson won't burn to save his skin
353"Gifting", "journey" and other words we hate
313Thomson didn't answer the question everyone is asking
300Animal experiments won't cure me from cancer
262Who murdered the Arts degree?
246A big day for Thomson, who thus far is guilty of nothing...
231South Australia. It's the middle bottom bit.

21 comments

Show oldest | newest first

    • TChong says:

      05:05am | 18/11/11

      We all arent / werent shaky at the knees for the Prez.
      This Prez manages to sell us expansionism with a Smiley Face smile , so therefore it must be good for us, ( we delude ourselves)
      BO speech yesterday was all about patting the Oz lap dog, while reminding the world we are definitely in the US kennel.

      Reply

    • dancan says:

      11:31am | 18/11/11

      The US has just made Australia its best placed pawn for their push into Asia both economically and military.  But Obama said it with a smile (hell he didn’t even have to sell it, just say it) and the majority have fallen over gushing with praise and bodily fluids.

      this would have to be one of the easiest occupations in history

    • marley says:

      11:45am | 18/11/11

      @dancan - the US has something like 60,000 troops in Japan and South Korea.  I’d say they’re a lot better placed than a couple of thousand marines in the NT, wouldn’t you?

    • dancan says:

      12:57pm | 18/11/11

      And Japan was a US occupied country, South Korea was a country occupied by Japan which came under American occupation after the Japan surrender.  Australia has willingly allowed the US to start occupation.

      Both Japan and S Korea may be worth keeping as stations for US forces but due to their strong cultural identities total occupation would be impossible, even a slow occupation through merging cultures over several decades would be difficult.  There are also other conflicts between the US, Japan and Korea with social and political aspects.  In short neither would be an ideal base of operations into Asia.

      Australia on the other hand is a country with little cultural identity, what identity we have has already been greatly influenced by the US already.  Our political leaders have shown themselves more than willing to do the bidding of the US for short term gains and open to influence on matters of Australian policy.  Add to this Australia’s physical position in Asia and our rapidly growing economic and social position within the region, making our country ripe to be taken advantage of.

      Out of the entire Asia region Australia is the perfect (may be only) country where the US can get a sure footing to push into the region (through financial and military means).  A soft government that’s easily influenced (both parties), a placid populace who offer little or no resistance, an obscenely large number of natural resources, a position close to Asia and a land mass that is very difficult to invade.

      Call this a Doom and Gloom prediction, but mark my words over the next 5-10 years you’ll see initial military base and 2500 marines expand into “bilateral” arrangements and trade agreements which will expand the US power and influence over Australia into many aspects of our lives. 

      The sad part is that most won’t even see it happening, they’ll welcome it.

    • marley says:

      01:21pm | 18/11/11

      @dancan - you said that Australia is best placed for America to push into Asia economically and militarily.  I’m am merely pointing out that the US has two Asian allies which are each better located physically, which each have far more of an American military presence on their soil, and which each have more economic potential than Australia does.  Japan has a much bigger economy, South Korea a comparable one.  And let’s not forget the influence the US has in Taiwan. 

      You overestimate both Australia’s proximity to the heart of Asia, and it’s economic and social influence there.

    • dancan says:

      02:47pm | 18/11/11

      I’d rate Australia above Korea and Japan because as their economies slow down ours continues to grow, and will continue to grow thanks to continued urbanisation of India and China.  Thanks to this Australia’s projected growth over the next 10 years is far greater than Japans.

      As for Taiwan, while the US may have influence you’d have to agree they’d be pretty hard pressed to be able to setup a military base with 2500 solders there.

      The US may have influence in a lot of countries in Asia, but in Australia they have influence, access and resources

    • marley says:

      06:40pm | 18/11/11

      @dancan - given the respective sizes of the Japanese and Australian economies, it will take one helluva lot of growth for us to catch up with them.  And we’re not slated for that level of growth.  Over time, I’m willing to bet the South Koreans will do better than we will. 

      As for the influence of troops, as I say, I’ll take 60,000 in and around the sea of Japan over 2500 down under.

    • Fiddler says:

      07:14am | 18/11/11

      Roswell (allegedly) happened in 1947, 64 years, not 30 ago.
      One of the main reasons the Marines will be so happy to come is that the training areas they are used to working in are ridiculously tiny (in Hawaii, all their practice artillery targets are in a 500m square).

      What they won’t like are our prices/exchange rates. A first year marine earns not much more than $20,000 a year, then walk into a pub and get a $6 beer.

      Reply

    • MarkS says:

      08:07am | 18/11/11

      I have family that lives in Darwin. They are crazy. I blame the climate. White folks evolved in Europe to live in the cold, wet & dark. The heat cooks their brains.

      Notice how the crazy US of A states are all southern states, Alabama, Arizona, Tennesse & Florida. All hot, way too hot.

      Now all I have to do is explain why the rest of my family is crazy & I am sweet.

      Reply

    • NESLIHAN KUROSAWA says:

      08:15am | 18/11/11

      Hi Lucy,

      I think the Northern Territory will never be the same after the US Marines’ arrival on our shores!!  It might actually to do wonders when it comes to bringing & attracting more tourists to our part of the World. I spent most of my time, during summer school holidays, very close a US Military Base in Turkey. 

      It was all very exciting for us as children to come in contact highly trained & good looking Army Personnel from a foreign & far away land!! They were always very friendly towards us handing out chocolates & sweets.  Just like you mentioned they happened to be the most polite & well mannered people you had ever met!!  I am not so sure about crocodile eating habits though.  That is something very different all together, since only crocodiles I have ever seen, were actually at a zoo!!

      They could also serve us well, when it comes to protecting our shores from illegal arrivals so that as Australians we actually feel safer.  Since we have not been very successful at stopping asylum seekers, at this stage it can not do any harm at all.  May be, they could also show us a few tricks, like the ones we get to see in those action packed Hollywood Block Buster movies!! Best regards to your editors.

      Reply

    • Kebabpete says:

      09:17am | 18/11/11

      Aaaah, some light relief from all the seriousness. Nice work Luc!!

      So what your saying is there’s going to be a bunch of loud, drunk, broke yet lovely people in Darwin soon? They’ll fit right in!!

      But back to the serious stuff though, I’m dressing as a pirate for a race through some mud tomorrow and I’m wondering where I can get one of those NT News Obama Pirate Hats from?

      Reply
    • Lucy Kippist

      Lucy Kippist says:

      12:31pm | 18/11/11

      Think you might have missed out on those Pete. Had to get in quick by the looks of things smile

    • Army Wife says:

      10:25am | 18/11/11

      We’re looking forward to having the marines here, they will provide a huge economic benefit to the local economy, they are great men and women, my husband already works with them and has made several trips to their bases in the USA. He was lucky enough to be at the RAAF Base yesterday and listen to President Obama, and he said it was an incredible afternoon. The local single girls will be loving it, the only ones who aren’t happy are the single Darwin local blokes who are going to have a lot more competition on their hands!

      Reply

    • Fiddler says:

      10:41am | 18/11/11

      until they realise that these guys have no money. They would make more money working at Maccas here. Like a LOT more money

    • gobsmack says:

      11:30am | 18/11/11

      The single Darwin gay blokes won’t mind.

    • TheRealDave says:

      10:34am | 18/11/11

      US Marines have been transitioning through and training in Darwin/NT for decades already. On the night of 9/11 the same US Marines that would later feature in the excellent HBO series ‘Generation Kill’ were drinking in Darwin when the towers were hit.

      Should be ‘interesting times’ for the local coppers up that way at kickout time at the pubs wink

      Reply

    • Matt says:

      12:01pm | 18/11/11

      it is spelt Ma’am,
      just pointing it out

      Reply

    • Bob says:

      01:04pm | 18/11/11

      Marines are generally a good thing believe it or not. ( I live in Darwin )
      1) They are loaded
      2) They are generally polite and do not cause trouble
      3) They actually stop crime, seen many a marine break up fights or join them to even up the sides a bit
      4) If they break the law, they face local law and then military law.

      The only negative would be the increase in STD’s you get after a ship visit.

      Considering I am not going to sleep with them that doesnt worry me.

      Reply

    • Fiddler says:

      02:24pm | 18/11/11

      2, 3 & 4 on the money. Number 1 no. A private in our army makes more than a staff sergeant in the Marines do. However if they consider it a permanent posting here (at least as of a few years ago) then their pay will be lifted to equivalent of our guys, which will make Darwin a very popular posting

    • Al says:

      01:39pm | 18/11/11

      Think about this before you start gushing:

      In Okinawa alone, in the period 1952-2004, over 200,000 incidents or accidents including the deaths of almost 1,100 Japanese civilians were directly attributable to the US forces. That’s just over 21 civilian locals killed each year. About 90 per cent of these incidents were traffic related. In Japan, like Australia, traffic drives on the left hand side of the road. Perhaps more alarmingly, criminal offences perpetrated by US service or support personnel in Okinawa account for around one-third of all crime in the prefecture with a total population of 1.3 million.

      Put them in Katherine, Weipa, Exmouth or Derby if we must have them as the infrastructure is already there. Better make sure they are not filled with asylum seekers or itinerants first.

      Reply

    • Traxster says:

      01:40pm | 18/11/11

      During the 2nd world war American troops were usually describes thus…...
      ‘Over paid, over sexed and over here’.........

      Reply
 
Comment

Facebook Recommendations

Read all about it

Punch live

Up to the minute Twitter chatter

Paul Colgan

Colgo 24 May 12 07:27PM

@paulwiggins @richardkendall that fountain pens yarn is a great social trend story

Paul Colgan

Colgo 24 May 12 07:27PM

I like how a tip erodes so only you can use it MT “@paulwiggins: BBC News - Why are fountain pen sales rising? http://t.co/0hk2MRtf”

Daniel Piotrowski

drpiotrowski 24 May 12 07:23PM

@apiotrowski I feel your pain #workingtheweekend

Daniel Piotrowski

drpiotrowski 24 May 12 07:21PM

@apiotrowski You sounded testy at 11. I can only imagine...

See all tweets

Recent posts

The latest and greatest

Protecting the Barrier Reef is the Fin end of the wedge

by Tony Burke

36

Protecting the Barrier Reef is the Fin end of the wedge

When you take on a job like being Environment Minister there’s some hits you can see coming. …

ICB: Is white bread the worst thing since sliced bread?

by Tory Shepherd

92

ICB: Is white bread the worst thing since sliced bread?

Welcome to this week’s I Call Bullshit column. It’s a regular column that looks at skulduggery…

Sometimes, you’ve just got to stick it to the bloody ref

by Anthony Sharwood

69

Sometimes, you’ve just got to stick it to the bloody ref

We are taught early in life that we should not question authority. We must listen to our parents, our…

Nosebleed Section

choice ringside rantings

From: They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments

Michael S says:

"A teacher at Geelong Grammar had criticised her for using words that were too long, which had left her confused and had made her doubt her ability to write essays. She became ''quite distressed'' when her English marks began to fall." I can sympathise. My scholastic mentors conveyed to me a causal relationship… [read more]

From: Welfare for breeders is a bonus for everyone

Change Up! says:

I have no problem paying my taxes. As a single, childless person on a very decent income, I can afford it and not have my life severely altered. Plus I understand that my taxes paying for things like schools, childcare and infrastructure is ultimately a good thing. A better community is better for me… [read more]

Light weight

Gentle jabs to the ribs

They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments

They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments

A private school girl’s family is sueing her elite, extremely expensive private school for not… Read more

243 comments

Newsletter

Read all about it

Sign up to the free daily Punch newsletter

Subscribe to The Punch RSS feed