Competitive parenting’s latest weapon

Rev says:

08:00am | 11/03/11

Godwin’s IN the article itself.

That said, I feel we have gone too far the other way.  At my nephews (state) primary school, there are no placings for sporting competitions, but there are for academic prizes.

Now while my nephew cleans up academically, spare a thought for the self-esteem of the kid who maybe isn’t as bright, but is a gun runner or swimmer.  Why can’t we say to these athletic kids, hey, you did a great job and you were the best today?

I went to an independent school, and everyone was required to participate in two PE lessons per week, plus inter-house sport on Monday afternoons, and sign up for an interschool sport.  It gets people involved, keeps them healthy, and team sports (in particular) are great for kids.

Markus says:

08:39am | 11/03/11

@Rev,
The true nature of the ‘winning isn’t everything’ social experiment with children appears to be coming out.
It is not to make sure that no child ever feels like a loser, just to make sure that the academic kids never feel like losers to those clearly inferior athleticly gifted kids.

Rev says:

09:43am | 11/03/11

@Markus, too true. 

Back to the article - it’s a bit thick really.
I mean, bad parents are bad parents.  Having the opportunity to spend $200 on a meaningless test will have zero effect on how shitty the kid’s life is.

Daniel says:

12:14pm | 11/03/11

This makes perfect sense, all part of Eugenics; Hitler was right and we all know it, but, do we want to accept the truth, I know I do. There is superior and inferior human beings as simple as that.

Erick says:

01:20pm | 11/03/11

@Daniel: A society that acknowledges a woman’s right to abort a foetus unconditionally, is a society that allows eugenics.

After all, a woman can choose to abort a foetus because she considers it “genetically inferior”. And who dares stop her?

Jade says:

01:38pm | 11/03/11

@ Rev, schools should be first and foremost places of education. And academics. To be really honest, as a former teacher I resented having kids taken out of my English class and pushed into various sports training because they “needed a self-esteem boost”, since they were hopeless at English.

Academically inclined children quite often suffer bullying and derision for their achievements. While in our sports-obsessed culture, the kid who is good at kicking a pigskin or is the fastest in running from point A to point B (going to get them sooooo much further in life than being able to read) is generally the one doing the bullying.

It is about time we introduced kids to the idea that sports does not get you anywhere in life. That academic achievement forms the basis for success. A potential employer is far less likely to care that you won four gold medals at the swimming carnival and far more likely to care that you failed English and Maths.

Seriously, we constantly complain about abysmal literacy and numeracy rates, and then force time out of the already limited school day to make kids run around an oval and play pointless games. If parents want their child to have “success” outside of school, put them into extra-curricular sports activities.

Rev says:

02:58pm | 11/03/11

@Jade

As a former English teacher, you’re doing a bang up job of seeing what you want in my posts.

I haven’t suggested anywhere that sport is as important as academics, merely that they both should be competitive.  Life is competitive.  Work is competitive - hell, even love can be competitive.

I agree that academic-focus kids get bullied for being ‘weak’ or ‘nerds;, sure.
I’ve also seen plenty of ‘dumb jocks’ be bullied for being slower than a wet week.  Bullies do not come in the stereotypes played out for us on US TV anymore.  When did you last teach?

Now, in your instance, you had kids pulled out of your class.  Obviously that is wrong, but once again, that has absolutely nothing to do with my argument that school sport should be competitive.  It has everything to do with the school you taught at, and their idiotic ways.  Did you refuse, voice your protest, resign?  If not, you’re part of the problem. 

Abysmal literacy and numeracy levels?  Have a close look at your former colleagues.  When I graduated back in the day, education degrees were accepting students with Qld OPs of 18-19 (no idea how that relates to other states, but it is out of 25, the lower the better).  A couple of the dumbest kids from my graduating class are primary school teachers, frankly it’s downright embarrassing. 

Being well-rounded is important.  There isn’t much point being incredibly intelligent if you cannot function in social and team environments.  Kids with OP1s will miss out on attending med school if they can’t pass the interview.  I’m not saying OP1=social dwarf, but there isn’t any harm in getting your head out of the book and going outside.

Markus says:

03:17pm | 11/03/11

Jade your argument doesn’t really add up. You say we have a sports obsessed culture, and celebrate meatheads who can kick a pigskin, yet say we should be teaching kids that sporting ability does not get you anywhere in life?

I am sure you are dreaming of the day when your academic exploits are lauded more than athletic prowess, but the truth is you will be waiting a hell of a long time for that day.

When a 9am - 330pm schoolday is too ‘limited’ for kids to participate in PE for an hour every 2nd day, then I think we seriously need to look at the efficiency of all the other content being taught.

Alannah says:

10:56pm | 11/03/11

@Rev,

Kids should be kids and parents should let kids be kids. Parents are in competition with each other, parents don’t want to be seen with a child with learning difficulties oh no that would dint there ego.

Some parents academically bully there children to achieve higher grades then their peers in fear of not being the top of the class. It’s crazy world.

How are kids going to learn healthy competitive sports if mum and dad are going to take the TV off them for missing a goal or getting 99 out of 100 on a test.  Parents today have extremely high expectations not only academically but competitively as well, I often wonder if kids today are made to live out mum and dads dream of being perfect at everything.
What kind of influence will this have on kids later on in life after everything has been handed to them on a golden platter thanks to mum and dads slipping the coach an extra $1000 to make sure your on the team. What about the donation you gave to the school so you look good in the news letter upstaging every other parent for your own ego.

In reality what happens if they fail? what happens if you pushed them that much they end up a mental basket case on the doll. These would be the same parents to say that’s not my child, my child is off overseas living his dream as a professor.

An A grade student isn’t always a happy student, kids who have failed school are earning more money then kids going to uni because there parents were smart. Love you kids for who they are not what you want them to be.

Bilby says:

08:54am | 11/03/11

Unfortunately there’s this effect called “regression towards mediocrity” which essentially means that a kid is likely to be more average than their parents. Of course if you’re below average that’s a good thing.

Jane says:

09:34am | 12/03/11

Considering I was so hopeless I was picked last for all sport, despite being reasonably popular, if my kids are 10-20% worse than me, I apologise now. I so hope they will be better than me, I wouldn’t wish being the last kid picked on anyone.

Mark says:

08:55am | 11/03/11

Ironside, I could not agree with you more. It is parents that could not make it ion one form or another that thrust unrealistics goals on their children, be it sports, academics, life…whatever. Sure, we want the best for our children, to see them succeed, be happy etc, but at what price? As a sporting referee I have seen far to many parents go to a point that I want to beat the insides out of them & shout in their faces “Sport is for fun & recreation, not lifetsyle” especially when the child is still under 12 years of age!! It is the best way to get kids out of sports - over zealous parents who can’t see the real picture. And it does happen.

Chris L says:

06:02pm | 11/03/11

Hear hear! If parents were great sporting deities in their youth and they want their progeny to be the same they should try cloning. After all, it seems to work for sheep. If they were not so successful how fair is it to expect better from the generation to follow?

St. Michael says:

11:21pm | 11/03/11

Niche, gentlemen, niche.

Hand-eye coordination and the ability to play videogames actually is now desirable in the eyes of the US airforce, considering they do most of their fighting in Afghanistan via unmanned drones piloted by a remote operator from somewhere in Nevada.

FInd the right niche, and success follows.

Michael says:

09:19am | 14/03/11

well the problem with slaying cyber dragons is that your not achieving anything for your body…..... we all love wow but come on its just a game

marley says:

08:17am | 11/03/11

Well, there appears to be market out there for this sort of hideous product.  The author has every right to give his opinion of the product, the marketers, and those parents who would buy it.

James1 says:

09:50am | 11/03/11

I fail to see your point.  Nowhere does the author claim that all parents are like that.  I took the article as referring to competitive parents, and not trying to say we are all like that.

Why so defensive Jolanda?  No one who has never been seen screaming hysterically from the sideline of a soccer match could possibly be offended by this.

Tony of Poorakistan says:

08:51am | 11/03/11

A fair point ...

Cuckolded says:

02:08pm | 11/03/11

Probably not, but I think you can put them in a big tub of water and the one’s that float are likely to be witches.

Chris L says:

06:05pm | 11/03/11

@Cuckolded - GOLD!!!!!!

Michael says:

10:46am | 11/03/11

Of course, there can only be one winner.  One best kid in the competition, one best kid in the school.  I say we throw away all rules and regulations and let the kids have at it.  Social Darwinism at its best.  Only the best succeed.  Two kids enter, one kid leaves

Brett says:

12:44pm | 11/03/11

And Charlie Sheen is the best at winning

As for the test, isn’t it pretty obvious with athleticism? If they’re not the best in their school or club then they are no where near it. Depending on the sport, if they are not the right build or height then they will never be world class. Professional sports has gotten to the point that a gene has nothing to do with it, but your overall genes have everything to do with it.

For instance, if your kid plays basketball but is unlikely to be 6’3”, and isn’t one of the fastest people on the track (5-6 sec 40m, 30 inch vertical) then give up. If you’re into rowing and the kid isn’t oging to be 6’6” then give up. If its cycling and the kid is likely to be big, give up. If at 16 your little female tennis star is not in the top 10 in the world at her age, give up. Because there are freak athletes now like Lebron James, Lance Armstrong and the likes who will always dominate no matter how hard you try.

Markus says:

01:11pm | 11/03/11

@Brett,
I remember in year 7 we did a series of tests in PE as part of determining what your ideal sport would be.

It took physicals such as height, weight, arm span, and then took your results on tests like 40m sprints, 1.6k run, vertical jump, reflex time (catching and throwing off each hand) then gave you a list in order that would suit you best.
I think I got rock climbing.

I’m going to try ignore the overall “there will always be someone better than you so why bother trying” attitude of your post, it’s loser talk.

Vince says:

01:47pm | 11/03/11

Yes, Brett, you are speaking “Loser Talk”.  Probably didn’t know that, did you, but it’s an obscure sub-dialect of the English language and most people who speak it are losers anyways, so no one listens to them.  What you want to do is speak “Winner Talk”.  That’s right.  Talk like a Winner.  Like this: “I Deserve to Win.  I AM a Winner.  I can Run as Fast as a Leopard.  I am the Eye of a Tiger”.  Get it?  Once you start talking like a winner, you become one.  Well, that is, provided you’re not run over by a truck the next day.

John in Alice says:

09:44am | 11/03/11

There must be genetic tests for idiocy.  Send for yours today, and when you receive positive confirmation get your tubes tied immediately.

Troy says:

01:33pm | 11/03/11

They can’t spell, either.

St. Michael says:

11:19pm | 11/03/11

Pushing kids into sports is sick advice, I agree but it’s actually well-grounded.  US research shows quite convincingly that if you “redshirt” a kid in sports—i.e. have them wait one year before entering the same sport again with peers one year younger—they will do astronomically better than a kid the same age.  It is simply because the kid one year older has developed that much more and will be competing with kids who are not so developed.

It follows for school, too.  If you’re in a school year that has a cutoff date on June 30, most likel a kid born on July 1 will do better academically and socially than a kid born on June 29 when they go into the same year at school.  The reason being that the kid on July 1 is a full year older than his June 29 classmate.

Bilby says:

11:29am | 11/03/11

My plan has always been to start with sports where my kids can be based locally and support me in the manner to which I’d like to become accustomed: tennis or golf. Failing that I might consider letting them do something that actually interests them.

Markus says:

12:11pm | 11/03/11

“Whatever happened to kids being kids and growing up to decide what they want to do with their lives?”
Did that seriously ever happen? Every parent has some sort of agenda or bias in their child raising.
Even those parents who ensure they do not pressure their child into doing something often do so based on a resentment of their parents doing it to them.

Rach says:

06:14pm | 12/03/11

@ Markus, my parents allowed us to try all kinds of sports when we were growing up, and I don’t recall any ‘agenda’ except to make sure that we were happy doing the chosen sport/activity, and that we were active and healthy as a result. 13 years of ballet and swimming for me, cricket, footy and swimming for my brothers, and we all ended up healthy and happy.  Did we pursue those sports as a career?  No, but I don’t think that’s really the point for a lot of parents/kids is it?  If it is, that’s rather sad!  My brothers also studied music (piano, band activities) - they are now involved in the music business.  It wasn’t part of an ego-driven plan by our parents though.  If kids want to play sport, they will.  If they can’t actually play that sport, but they want to, let them do so anyway.  It’s good for the kids, and isn’t that what we all want?

rufus says:

02:50pm | 11/03/11

Uuh, I believe thinking originates in the brain. In fact, tests have shown that it entirely occurs within the brain. Try it, it works.

Me rufus, you Joan. It doesn’t matter why.

Any other problems I can help you with?

Rach says:

09:12pm | 12/03/11

@ Hammer, there’s also the issue of poor grammar - I strongly believe that there should be a test for that…. 

‘their all fat’ - “their” is the possessive: you should be using “they are” or the contracted “they’re”.  I know it sounds the same, but that’s the important distinction between “there”, “their”, and “they’re”....

‘whether its your kid’ - “its” should be “it’s” in this context.  ‘Its’ without the apostrophe indicates another possessive. ‘it is’ or ‘it’s’ your kid.

And “don’t”: oh seriously, I don’t have the time to explain.

TracyH says:

01:12pm | 14/03/11

Rach…you shouldn’t judge Hammer by the grammar or spelling. This isn’t an English test and his opinions are as valid as anyone else’s. He might simply be in a hurry..or have dyslexia or any number of reasons to explain his writing. He may be from a non-English speaking background, or he may have suffered learning difficulties… To criticize along these lines in my opinion is as elitist as any parent sending off for DNA testing. Finally, a person’s spelling etc is not indicative of their potential for success. I know many many people earning 6 figure salaries who have difficulty with written communication.

Rach says:

10:23am | 13/03/11

@ St Michael - you are on the money, mate!  Well said!!!  I might print this out to share with some friends who seem intent on pushing their kids into lord knows what sport…

marley says:

08:02am | 12/03/11

Yeah, but if his genetic test works out, his parents can always strut around saying “he coulda been a contender.”

stephen says:

11:06pm | 12/03/11

Correct. Unconditional love. No matter what we think of their weight.