When talk show host Stephen Colbert announced his quasi-bid for the US presidency, he presented American voters with an embarrassing democratic dilemma: How were they going to tell the mock candidates from the real ones?


Lovers of fine farce will be familiar with Colbert’s work. His hallucinatory satire is so formidable it can be seen from space (where a NASA astronautical treadmill was recently named COLBERT in his honour). 

On the off chance you aren’t a religious tuner innerer to the Comedy Channel at 7pm on weeknights, Colbert is the anchor for The Colbert Report. He’s a maniacal, semi-fictitious character who displays breathtaking audacity when it comes to speaking truthiness to power.

“Guys like us, we don’t pay attention to the polls,” Colbert said to George W. Bush at a 2006 White House gala. “We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in ‘reality’. And reality has a well-known liberal bias.”

The then president – who was sitting only metres away –  didn’t look amused by his dinner speaker. Though perhaps this was because he really did think reality was something orchestrated by nefarious elites.

Anyway, this 21st Century-style jester has all manner of deadly serious sides. Which is what made his dabbling in the Republican presidential primaries so very interesting.

Colbert’s short-lived “exploratory” bid for candidacy was well-funded by the Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super PAC (Political Action Committee) whose very existence offered a withering critique of America’s sleazy new political financing laws.

For a few surreal days, polls showed Colbert with a higher favorability rating than any of the actual Republican candidates.

Unfortunately, however, he’s just announced an end to his bid after a difficult weekend in South Carolina. (He couldn’t get his name on the ballot and failed at his attempt to convince the masses to vote for him by ticking the Herman Cain box.)

Even more depressing is the fact that the supposedly serious candidates are continuing to look more clownish by the day.

Mitt Romney’s cavalier dismissal of $374,000 in speaker’s fees as paltry pin money? Surely a slapstick send-up of a slash and burn venture capitalist.

And the vast chasm between Newt Gingrich’s traditional family values policies and his alleged swingtastic practices? If only it were a gag.

When a fake candidate looks more real than the real ones and the real candidates show less integrity than the fake one, democracy is in deep trouble.

President Colbert, come back. Your nation needs you.

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59 comments

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    • Erick says:

      04:40am | 27/01/12

      More obligatory Republican-bashing. We’ll be seeing this all the way from now until November, as journalists are determined to support Obama - even though Aussies don’t vote in American elections.

      Cheap satire doesn’t make for good analysis.

    • Ma Baker says:

      08:45am | 27/01/12

      ‘Cheap satire doesn’t make for good analysis.’

      Don’t be a tellin that to ‘Joe’ now, ya hear.

    • iansand says:

      09:18am | 27/01/12

      And there I was thinking that everything Erick wrote was intended as cheap satire.  It sure as hell isn’t analysis, good or otherwise.

    • AdamC says:

      10:04am | 27/01/12

      Erick, yes, it is tiresome. As soon as I saw this article, I knew it was going to be another ignorant, conservative-bashing exercise with a few poor attempts at levity thrown in. Why bother? Sneering Aussie journos aren’t going to determine who wins the US Presidential election.

      Also, if there is one thing that lefty journos around the world seem to enjoy doing more than Barack-boostering, it is trying to bask in some of the reflected, perceived coolness of the Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert double-act by heaping largely undeserved blandishments upon them. It’s just sad, really.

    • Tchom says:

      10:04am | 27/01/12

      I have to take issue with your point. Not the “obligatory Republican-bashing” one, fair cop. But satire, cheap or otherwise, is legitimate analysis. What better way to point out the folly or hypocrisy in something or someone than to take the piss out of it?

    • SimonFromLakemba says:

      10:25am | 27/01/12

      @AdamC

      “Also, if there is one thing that lefty journos around the world seem to enjoy doing more than Barack-boostering, it is trying to bask in some of the reflected, perceived coolness of the Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert double-act by heaping largely undeserved blandishments upon them. It’s just sad, really”

      This is different from Fox News how? Nothing is funnier then watching John Stewart tear apart Fox News and their lies and hypocrisy.

      The conservatives are free to do their own comedy political show, but a conservative would have to find a sense of humour first.

    • TheRealDave says:

      11:32am | 27/01/12

      The Republicans NEED bashing. They have a candidate in Romney who is the Alpha Republican. A successful businessman who is all for less government, more free enterprise etc…but they don’t like him. Why? Because he’s a mormon. Thats it in a nutshell. If he was some kind of evangelical christian fundy the Repubs would be all over him like he was the Chosen One and this wouldn’t even be a contest. But no, he’s a mormon, so his own party hates him. Instead they are swinging behind Mr ‘Traditional Family Values’ who is on wife number 3 and had numerous financial scams behind him and now allegations of ‘Open Marriages’.

      Its sad when the only other person in the race is Ron Paul who’s a Katter-esque nutbag who’s one or two good ideas are surrounded by utter insanity.

      This has nothing to do with supporting Hopey Changey. Its merely a criticism of the party who will be running against him in the next election. But if you choose to twist it around to support for the Dems then I’d say it says more about you and your lack of English comprehension skills than anything else.

      Lastly, Colbert is good. But for REAL US Political satire you need to watch his boss - Jon Stewart. I wish we had a Jon Stewart here publicly showing the sheep the utter stupidity of BOTH sides of politics and the liberties they are taking with OUR democracy. Come on Shaun Micallef - I know you could do it!!!

    • Hoob says:

      12:01pm | 27/01/12

      @RealDave

      If the Republicans are so against Romney, why is he winning?

    • Dave says:

      12:02pm | 27/01/12

      @TheRealDave

      Of course, it must be “bigotry.” This is spot on.

      It hasn’t got anything to do with the fact that Romney is basically a liberal Republican who ushered in Romneycare in Massachusetts (the forerunner to Obamacare), or that his advisor Norm Coleman confirmed that a Romney administration would not repeal Obamacare.

      It doesn’t have anything to do with the fact Romney spent vast sums of money trashing his opponents, flip flopped from being a pro-abortion supporter to a pro-life supporter.

      It doesn’t have anything to do with Romney being the next “establishment” candidate after Gerald Ford, the two Bushes, Bob Dole, John McCain and others who never did very well electorally.

      It’s “bigotry.”

    • SimonFromLakemba says:

      12:30pm | 27/01/12

      @Hoob

      Check out Dave above. I think he means the Republican media/old timers not voters.

    • Rick of the Dustbowl says:

      02:48pm | 27/01/12

      Your right Erick conservitives don’t need to be made fun of they’re meer existance is funny enough. What is it they are trying to conserve anyway?

    • Peter says:

      02:49pm | 27/01/12

      Not clear why a journalist is prohibited froming taking a bash at Republicans in an opinion piece?  I have read countless opinions here and elsewhere that freely bash Gillard and the left in general.  And i’m sure there are many that poke fun at Democrats as well.  Do you disagree?  Or am I living in a different reality from you?

    • Troy Flynn says:

      03:46pm | 27/01/12

      Rick of the Dustbowl “What are they trying to conserve” Their tax breaks.
      If you saw Jon the other night, you would have seen him point out that Mitt was part of the lobby group who shut down a republican created amendment, in 2001 I believe, that would have raised the tax rate for people like Mitt, who earn their money from interest on trust funds, to aound 35%. We learnt that in the last two finacial years, he has earned approximately $43 million U.S. Dollars and paid approximately $6 million in tax. which means his effective tax rate is 13.9%. That’s $54,000 a DAY in earnings, or what the average 2 middle class U.S. citizens earn in a year.

    • Bill says:

      06:39am | 27/01/12

      Emma - you forgot to have a dig at the most immoral, sleazy US president ever. You know the one. Does Monica Lewinsky and a cigar ring a bell?

    • acotrel says:

      06:52am | 27/01/12

      At least Clinton only did it to an intern and not the whole country, like so many Republican presidents !

    • Hoob says:

      07:24am | 27/01/12

      @acotrel

      In light of your statement, tell us about the wonderful achievements of Obama and don’t forget to mention the trillion dollar debt.

      I would be interested to hear your view about how he has moved the country forward.

    • Ohcomeon says:

      10:48am | 27/01/12

      Sure, the Dems should be more like the upstanding moral representatives of the GOP.

      Like Gingrich who left his first wife when she had cancer, and left his second wife when she was diagnosed with MS. What a scumbag.

    • Hoob says:

      11:57am | 27/01/12

      @OhComeOn

      You are factually incorrect.  We had this conversation yesterday.  The first wife asked HIM for the divorce, the second has an abnormal result which COULD, some time in the future develop into MS.

    • SimonFromLakemba says:

      12:28pm | 27/01/12

      @Hoob

      In your link I find only 1 rebuttal to the link I posted, so not groundbreaking.

      Your GWB links are a laugh. Nothing really noted there and he was praised for his foreign policy, how good was that! Even better it was from a speech he gave himself!

      Bush lost 4 Million jobs in the last year of his presidency, ran up debt by another $5 trillion

      http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/24/opinion/sunday/24sun4.html?_r=2&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

      Hoob, the bill that was passed in the Clinton administration was a Republican bill!! It was a collection of Presidents from the 80s through till Obama that watched over the housing market.

      You are so far right wing its unbelievable.

    • Andrew says:

      01:26pm | 27/01/12

      You have learnt well from the dems simonfromlakemba, blame bush, take no responsibility, Prietty sure he knew the position of everything when he promised americans a number of months after been elected that he would turn it around, and if he didnt the american public could kick him out. Now he admits he hasnt turned it around, but guess what its all bush’s fault.

    • SimonFromLakemba says:

      01:37pm | 27/01/12

      @Andrew

      If you have followed me on the Punch I am no Obama fan, I think he promised to much and was going to be hard to deliver.

      I was just pointing out Hoob’s errors.

    • Hoob says:

      08:30pm | 27/01/12

      @Simon

      So you agree with my original statement then.

    • AJ says:

      12:44pm | 30/01/12

      @Ohcomeon Your comment displays ignorance, there is normally a back story on why people leave partners due to illness, especially when that illness was created by the person themselves as cancer can sometimes be. I have done the same and feel no shame or even care about the judgement from ignorant chatterazzi.

    • Zoe says:

      06:58am | 27/01/12

      His bid was more about highlighting the financial issues relating to the Presidential race - undiscolsed amounts donated by individuals and corporations which give them leverage over the candidates agendas

    • Trevor says:

      07:00am | 27/01/12

      Stephen Colbert is a legend. His best work is when he absolutely destroyed Bill O’Reilly on his own show. His press club address attacking George Bush was a mix of spot-on satire mixed with breathtaking ballsyness.

      “Building a better tomorrow-Tomorrow”.

      Classic. By far the best candidate by far in the Republican field- satire or no satire.

    • hawker says:

      07:32am | 27/01/12

      It’s a shame we don’t have the equivalents of Colbert or even a Jon Stewart. Razor sharp but also utterly fearless. Whatever else you say about America, the most accurate and withering criticism always comes from within.

    • Tubesteak says:

      07:50am | 27/01/12

      I agree. That video was comedy in the sublimest form of it. To actually be invited to speak at a Republican function and then mock them in that fashion was pure genius.

      I think Colbert may even be better than Jon Stewart who is also extremely talented. I think he and Colbert will go down among the great comedians among Bill Hicks and George Carlin.

    • Colin Lemke says:

      08:46am | 27/01/12

      I’d say John Clarke and Bryan Dawe come pretty close!

    • hot tub political machine says:

      08:51am | 27/01/12

      I’d have to agree, the press club address was amusing, but what really struck me was the stones needed to play that performance - to that audience. I laughed watching it but most of the way through I was too shocked at his testicular fortitude to laugh.

    • Trevor says:

      09:04am | 27/01/12

      Colbert leaves Stewart for dead IMHO.

    • hawker says:

      09:51am | 27/01/12

      Colin,

      I thought about those two, but their brand of satire is more on the wry side. As funny as Stewart and Colbert are, I think there is an undercurrent of anger (particularly with Stewart), which combined with their obvious wit, can make their attacks more devastating.

    • Colin Lemke says:

      10:18am | 27/01/12

      hawker, you’re probably right regarding Clarke and Dawe, but I still find them very effective in exposing the ridiculous side of Australian politics.

    • Tubesteak says:

      12:07pm | 27/01/12

      Clarke and Dawe are definitely very funny. Right up there. I wonder how they are going in their copyright case against the BBC for plagiarising The Games.

    • Martin says:

      08:45am | 27/01/12

      I suspect Stewart and Colbert’s bitingly funny, highly entertaining and very informative shows most likely sale over the heads of the average Fox/CNN swill-fed American.

      US politicians (like their Australian counterparts) are banking on an apathetic, lazy and “what’s in it for me?” consumerist population to get their sorry arses over the line.

    • hot tub political machine says:

      08:47am | 27/01/12

      I think Colbert’s mate John Stewart pointed out the same general point of this article a year or so back. He said (during an interview not a performance) that the fact comedians are being taken more seriously than genuine politicians and genuine media – shows how far up the creek democracy is.

    • Ian1 says:

      09:05am | 27/01/12

      Another opinion piece on the GOP goings on, and still no reference to the enormous swell of support for Ron Paul. 

      Ron Paul appeals to independent and democrat voters who’ve identified the chasm between Obama’s spin and substance.  He is the only Republican candidate who has a chance of winning the next US Presidential election.

      If you don’t know anything about Ron Paul, I would suggest youtube.  There is more than enough debate footage to see he has a greater consistency of Constitutional adherence than any other candidate, or US Congressman for that matter.

    • Trevor says:

      09:32am | 27/01/12

      Ron Paul is a mixed bag. He is getting a lot of support from pro-marijuana groups as he is the only one promising to end the war on drugs.

      Obama promised almost as much (well, turning a blind eye to states’ medical marijuana laws) only to turn the feds lose on them upon gaining office. Lot’s aof disgeruntled Obama supporters are turned to Ron Paul.

      Not such a fan a Paul’s plans to abolish social security and his abortion stance is pretty archaic.

    • The Free says:

      09:38am | 27/01/12

      Ron Paul is one of the few politicians who still believes in the freedom of the individual from sycophantic masses who want to take everything and give nothing.

    • Bertrand says:

      09:52am | 27/01/12

      Don’t get me started on Ron Paul.

    • Richard says:

      10:55am | 27/01/12

      Ron Paul is the only candidate who wants to honour and dignify the rights of individuals. Everyone else, all of them, are Big Government, nanny-state social fascists in the pocket of the Wall Street Kleptocrats. This isn’t rhetoric its a dead-set fact.

      The media are the only ones that can prosecute an effective fight against the Big Corporate Behemoths on Wall Street, that can oppose financio-facism and crony-corporatism, by swinging in their support behind Ron Paul.

      But they don’t, they support mainly Barrack Obama, if not Obama then Mitt Romney. Both of these guys are just as much in the pocket of Wall Street as each other. The only candidate who’s not is Ron Paul. Why aren’t the media supporting Ron Paul? What does this attitude tell us about the media? Are they all just dumb? Or is the reality something far more nefarious…

    • Macon Paine says:

      11:30am | 27/01/12

      Interesting comments Ian1. However despite his constitutional adherance he has exposed himself as an absolute clown. He associates himself with 9/11 truth dunce Alex Jones: http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?t=228532 and rants on about some ludicrious New World Order/One World Government incessantly. These actions reveal his true unhinged nature. And any politician who’s the full quid and wants to be taken seriously cannot afford to associate him or herself with such stupidity and lunacy.

    • Ian1 says:

      12:03pm | 27/01/12

      @Macon Paine -

      An absolute clown?  That’s funny.

      I don’t presume to know the measures the CIA or NSA would take regarding the 9/11 conspiracy, but he is just one of many Americans who don’t believe the official story.  Have you read the 9/11 report?

      NWO/One World Government - did you listen to Obama’s speech in Berlin?  Have you looked into the UN at all?  The EU?  The trading blocks - the North American Union (Canada, USA, Mexico).  Only a fool would presume Global Governance is not the agenda.  A cursory search for facts will help you sift through the misinformation, to find the enacted treaties and economic entanglements which are now concrete. 

      To imply Ron Paul is unhinged, or inconsistent, is to relay a total ignorance of his voting record.  He, unlike others, has shown time and again he will not support any passage through the Congress which is founded outside of, or seeks to elevate above, the powers bestowed through their Constitution.  Unlike the majority of those elected.

      He is the hardest of all the Republican candidates to discredit.  His experience gives him such an advantage over the others, they can’t deny his knowledge of the history of their government.  But bring the facts as you would.  Further, who is Alex Jones?

    • Markus says:

      12:09pm | 27/01/12

      Macon Paine, what part of the New World Order/One World Government is ludicrous?
      Obama has made several public statements that show favour toward an international standard of development and enforcement of national laws. Other world leaders have as well.

      There are plenty of tinfoil conspiracy theories floating around, but that is hardly one of them.

    • Willie Mac says:

      12:17pm | 27/01/12

      Ron Paul has some sensible policies such as reducing military commitments, but he is also a nutcase who wants to return to the gold standard, which is a totally outdated policy that has no relevance to the modern world. The amount of money circulating should reflect the actual value of goods in the economy; if this is to be done under the gold standard, it requires the treasury to purchase more and more gold every year. In this age of technology and development, gold production is simply not going to keep pace with the growth of the economy.

    • Markus says:

      12:46pm | 27/01/12

      Willie Mac, you’ll find that Ron Paul is not the only one in favour of a return to the gold standard.

      The GFC just showed how volatile and fragile the world economy truly is, and being able to actually justify the value of something with a backing currency that is:
      - Physically real
      - Universally recognised and valued
      - Consistently in demand
      is something that, while not without its own drawbacks, results in much more stability and lower ability to artificially manipulate/inflate the true worth.

      “The amount of money circulating should reflect the actual value of goods in the economy”
      The actual value to whom? Determined by whom? Relative to what?

    • Richard says:

      01:27pm | 27/01/12

      A number of points:

      1. @ Macon Paine~ one needn’t view the One World Government idea as a conspiracy theory. One CAN view it this way if one wants to discredit people and shame others into ignoring them, but actually, as I have demonstrated here on the punch before, it is possible to view the One World Government idea in the context of current ideological struggles.

      Every important issue in modern politics can be boiled down to two basic propositions, are you either an internationalist/elitist or a patriot/libertarian? Every issue can be reduced to the answer to this question. Boat people: what is more important to you, the integrity of the sovereign national borders of Australia or the rights of refugees under the U.N protocol? Carbon Tax: what is more important to you, the competitiveness of Australia’s vital productive industries or the existence of an international Carbon market (run by the big financial firms)? European debt crisis, what is more important, the sovereignty of the each individual nation or the survival of the EU project as a whole? (are you Europhile or Eurosceptic?) Etc. etc., literally everything in modern politics hinges on this distinction. And the end goal of the internationalists ultimately must be a one world government. Not that there’s anything wrong with that goal perse, but some people (including me incidentally) oppose it.

      So you see its perfectly perceptive of some people to say that there is a push towards an elitist, internationalist one world government, without them necessarily being conspiracy theorists.

      2. Willie Mac. huh. You know, some people would actually say its more of a nutcase idea to think its possible to print up trillions of paper dollars ad infinitum that aren’t backed by anything except the “full faith of the US government” (which is $15T in debt, and hasn’t reduced its debt load by a single cent since world war 2) and expect there not to be any serious economic consequences. There will be, fiat currency is a lunatic idea, it has never worked in history, and we are about to find out once again that it doesn’t work at all. It cannot. Money must be backed by SOMETHING, something tangible. We are in the process of re-discovering that in the financial world even right now, can’t you see that?

    • TheJohn says:

      10:01am | 27/01/12

      It’s political theater, all the guys running for presidency are puppets to international banking cartel. It’s only Ron Paul who is the legitimate one. I suspect their move is create such a crappy republican race, at the end destroy the republican candidates by using their controlled media networks and get their other puppet the obomination another 4 years of death and destruction. If Ron Paul can some how out play the banking cartel’s chess moves, it’s possibility he can save America. The only other option is for American’s to rise up and wiped off the international banking cartel’s chess pieces off the chess board.

    • Trevor says:

      10:43am | 27/01/12

      Ron Paul’s calls to audit the Federal Reserve certainly has some people nervous…

    • TheJohn says:

      12:02pm | 27/01/12

      It already has been audited, seems like it lent out 16 trillion dollars around the world, even some Aussie banks. Of course this money came form nothing, but need it needs to be paided back via hard work of course. It’s nothing but plain usury and slavery.

    • Utopia Boy says:

      09:07pm | 28/01/12

      Gingrich? Romney?

      Out of 350 000 000 + people, these are the only two twits the GOP could come up with?

      Obama’s a shoe in.

 

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