Thanks to the way Tony Abbott announced his maternity leave plan, thought bubbles seem to be in vogue this week so here’s one for a breezy Friday brainstorm.
Mandatory clown suits for social welfare recipients. What do you think?
The key benefit, as argued by the person who thought of it first, is that people on welfare will be making the country happier as everyone likes looking at clowns. (Stay with me.)
It is, to borrow a phrase, an Irish solution to an Irish problem, and was a response to a high-profile call for ideas to get the country out of the economic swamp it has found itself in following the global financial crisis.
But could it work in Australia?
Trade minister Simon Crean has challenged marketers to come up with a way to capture Australia’s strengths as a place to invest. “The lucky country” doesn’t quite translate across cultures. The country is basically a huge desert with some quarries in it on the end of the Earth, full of things that can kill you. So you can see why people ask precisely what it is Australians consider themselves lucky about.
But “the happy country” would surely translate seamlessly across cultures. It’s so happy, people would say, there are clowns everywhere.
It’s easy to remember, travels well, rings true, is portable and lends itself to great imagery so has the elements of a great marketing slogan. The first day it went into effect it would make television headlines around the world as CNN and others flocked to our cities to film the clowns getting their suits.
Centrelink offices could be decked out with circus regalia, making them much cheerier places to visit.
Hugh Green, the blogger who first proposed the idea on the Your Country, Your Call website set up by the Irish President’s husband, suggested it could be sponsored by captains of industry.
So business leaders like Gerry Harvey could pick up some clowns each morning and have them working on the front line, keeping them trained and connected to the workforce and also entertaining children while the parents go spending money and further stimulating the economy.
Australia also has the advantage of having one of the lowest unemployment rates in the developed world, so it would be relatively low-risk compared to trying it in a country like Spain, where the policy would require the purchase and delivery of around 4 million clown suits.
That’s a lot of red noses.
This kind of radical policymaking is too easily dismissed as a cheap gimmick, and instead we continue on the all-too-familiar path of incremental developments.
For example, if you wanted to really stop blowouts in the health budget, how about having coin-operated surgical theatres? Make the most of modern technology and give doctors swipe a card in an EFTPOS-like device which can check that they are cleared to go ahead with the surgery. Bye bye bean-counters.
Or how about drive-through dentistry? You get to have the plaque removed in a familiar environment and if you need a filling the drill could be plugged into the cigarette lighter outlet.
What other radical public policy proposals should we consider?
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