Close encounters with the wooden spoon

NJ says:

01:27pm | 15/10/09

I remember once as a kid, I’d done something really naughty, and I knew I was in for it. Clever me put on 6 pairs of undies and 3 pairs of pyjama bottoms, then a dressing gown.

I remember Mum whacking me with the spoon to my cries of glee, which she of course took for screams of agony.

I told her this story only a few months ago, we both laughed so hard we were in tears. Although I am a little concerned that a story of my mother violently attacking me with a wooden spoon is one of my favourite childhood memories.

Julia (not THAT one) says:

01:31pm | 15/10/09

It was the swishing sound of my father’s belt coupled with ‘Right! That’s it!’ that would send my brother and I running to any small opening in the wall. Strangely, we never got the belt. The threat of it was enough.

I probably won’t smack my kids, but I won’t tell them that. And I’m going to warn them that their grandparents come from the generation of smackers so they should behave or run the risk of a smack.

Peter Warrington says:

01:33pm | 15/10/09

yes, as a Richmond fan, I have seen way too much of the wooden spoon since 1980.

Timothy says:

01:34pm | 15/10/09

My mum gave up on the wooden spoon when my it broke on my brother’s behind and he laughed at her. She resorted to a whip around the back of the knees with a long strip of plastic that we used for matchbox cars. It certainly brought us into line. We used to hide it from her but it was produced with glee when one of “the others” was in trouble. Funny thing was often the person to produce it was often the next to play up and got their swift karma.

My mum had four boys that she couldn’t always control but we never were severely marked or hit with a closed fist. I guess our culture has changed and today’s parents have to approach discipline from a psychological angle.

Good luck out there.

Life is pain says:

01:43pm | 15/10/09

I got hit with a wooden plank off the fence that, as we discovered upon my “over-the-top” reaction, had a nail sticking out of it. So that was harsh. But in my dad’s defence, I had just burned the bus shed down.

Simmo says:

01:47pm | 15/10/09

As a parent in today’s climate, working out a way to punish naughty children that doesn’t mentally, physically or psychologically scar them for life and make me wind up in prison is a nightmare…. We thankfully have kids who are generally well behaved and the slightest raise in mum’s voice is enough to make then realise they are in the wrong…

As for the mother in Victoria, has anyone bothered to ask the child what it was she did to get the wooden spoon, most parents don’t go for a smack or a spoon in the first instance, the world has gone mad….

'erbert says:

01:59pm | 15/10/09

My mum used to whack the bed with the wooden spoon, I don’t think she ever hit us with it. I remember she slapped me with an open hand really hard on the back after I’d been rude - that certainly woke me up and made me think twice about doing it again. My old man used to kick us on the backside if we played up. It sounds worse than it was, he didn’t do it hard. But it was terrifying to get to that point. Having said all that, I don’t think hitting kids is the answer. I spanked my eldest girl once when she was little and didn’t feel good about it. Much more effective is Time Out. One minute in the corner for every year they have been alive, no talking and no interaction with anybody else. It still does my head in how effective that is. The ritual of punishment is the thing that is the deterrent, not the physical pain.

Julia says:

02:02pm | 15/10/09

Simmo: Apparently the mother had a three warning system, would explain why the corporal punishment was needed and only administered it sparingly.

Sounds to me like it was a combination of Supernanny and the Iron Chef.

Old Yorkshireman says:

02:03pm | 15/10/09

Our dad used to slice us in two wi’ bread knife. ‘Course we had it tough

Hallie says:

02:14pm | 15/10/09

I think the feather duster was the asian parent’s equivalent to the wooden spoon…. my brother and I used to be on the receiving end of the feather duster when we were younger (the cane end, not the feather end!) - i don’t actually think my mother ever used it to dust! The funniest thing was finding a facebook group full of asians comparing different makes of feather dusters and which ones they ‘grew up’ with…btw,  my brother and I turned out fine, and looking back, the feather duster never came out without a good reason for it and was only used after a round of Q&A from my mother making sure we understood what we had done wrong

Steve Smith says:

02:14pm | 15/10/09

I’m a massive fan of the spoon, but as soon as it broke over my ass, the authoritative aura the spoon possessed was no more.

These days, why not punish the child by turning off the Internet? Then again in a few years time debate would rage about turning off the internet is pyscological abuse to a child… so sometimes people just need to harden up and accept that a bruise by a spoon is better than a bruise from a heroin injection gone wrong.

Old Yorkshireman2 says:

02:15pm | 15/10/09

@ Old Yorkshireman: loooxshery. We slept on the road in a shoobox and our Da’ would drive over oos.

Simmo says:

02:16pm | 15/10/09

Exactly what I thought Julia, no sane parent who knows anything about looking after their kids properly is going to crack them with a spoon first off…

I guess the school neglected to inform the kid the difference between bullying and “getting punished for doing the wrong thing at home”

warb says:

02:28pm | 15/10/09

@Old Yorkshireman

Luxury!!..

Old Yorkshireman 3 says:

02:32pm | 15/10/09

@Old Yorkshireman 2: a shoobox? LOOXSHERY!

Old Yorkshiremen2 says:

02:38pm | 15/10/09

@ all Old Yorksiremen: kids toodae, don’t knooo how good they’ve got it.

Old Yorkshireman 4 says:

02:44pm | 15/10/09

We ‘ad to get oop before we went to bed, and lick road clean wi’ our toongues.  Course, we ‘ad it toogh.
Pass the port.

Old Yorkshireman 4 says:

02:45pm | 15/10/09

We used to dream of shoobox!  It woulda been palace to oos.  Our Da’ used to thrash us about ‘ed wi broken bottle and then murder oos and dance round our graves singin’ hallelujah, and we never complained.

ChelseaLee says:

02:45pm | 15/10/09

My mum would yell, ‘I’ll smack you so hard, you won’t be able to sit down for a WEEK!!’ [Now read again, but with a gradual raising of your voice, until fire blasts from your nose, and the whites in your eyes turn red on the word ‘week’.]

My dad had this mysterious knack - some would say gift - of undoing his belt buckle and removing the belt from their loops in 0.0001 seconds flat. And with one swift move of his wrist, there he was, arm stretched out, belt in hand, ready to wallop.

Needless to say, as the goodie-two-shoes in the family, the threats alone for me were unbearable. But they worked.

My theory: Spare the rod, spoil the child.

Bill says:

02:47pm | 15/10/09

I can recall trying to burn one of the wooden spoons by holding it against the element on the electric stove.  At the age of five it seemed like the perfect solution because I hadn’t yet figured out that wooden spoons are plentiful.

Old Yorkshiremen2 says:

02:53pm | 15/10/09

Looxshery.

eddie says:

02:57pm | 15/10/09

We had the instant reminder, a drive belt from a pedal sewing machine,
it left welts on the back of our legs/buttocks. We had to really play up to get it though. It was something to be avoided, we didnt generally re-offend in the same manner either.
I wouldnt reccomend that, or a belt but the odd slap or wooden spoon has its place.
Looking at some of the emo teens out there the odd bit of corporal punishment during childhood would have probably done a bit of good.

Old Yorkshireman 5 says:

03:23pm | 15/10/09

Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o’clock at night, half-an-hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of freezing poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad would murder us in cold blood and dance about on our graves singing, “Hallelujah”.

Jade says:

03:25pm | 15/10/09

hhhm maybe thats why all the kids today are rude little brats, cause they didnt get smacked??!!!

I used to get a hand on the backside, but i would use my hand to cover my butt so it didnt hurt so much.  I think i turned out pretty good, and so have all of my friends that were smacked as kids as well.  Parents are too soft these days and do not know how to diciplen there child.

Rose says:

03:27pm | 15/10/09

All parent have the very right to smack their child/ren. Any childs reserved a very good smacking with or without force (spoon, stick, belt anything) it the only way to disciplin the child. They must be in resonable force. We all got to remeber there is the different between disciplin and abuse.

Look at the society now, we’re out of control. Especially young adult given one punch and then you’re dead the next.

WHERE THE HELL PARENTS RIGHT IN THAT?

GOVERNMENT SHOULD STAY OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE BUSINESS.

ALL PARENT HAVE THE RIGHT TO SMACK THEIR KIDS.

Vicki PS says:

03:35pm | 15/10/09

We got the wooden spoon from Mum, and it hurt like buggery, but I don’t think I ever resented it the way I did being caned or wooden-spooned by my father.  The difference, I believe, was that when Mum finally went at us with the wooden spoon, we knew we’d gone too far (and to be fair, she had 3 kids by the time she was 21 so she had a lot on her plate): Dad got too much satisfaction out of thrashing us.  It was a cold act with rage behind it, and was most definitely abuse: it had a lasting, profound effect on my view of myself.

MJ says:

03:37pm | 15/10/09

My dear old Dad used to wallop me with his army belt…one time with the buckle end.  It didn’t affect me at all.

By the way I’m off to kill some small ferrell animals this weekend, then drink gallons of beer in order to block out the their tiny screams.  Anyone up for a road trip?

Special thanks to Robin Williams for the inspiration and blatant plagiarism.

bob says:

04:13pm | 15/10/09

google ‘melbourne’ and ‘wooden spoon’ as appears in the first sentence of this punch and the result will be red and blue alright, but nothing to do with bruising

Hitchy says:

04:14pm | 15/10/09

Old Yorkshireman…..Loooxury…Ah daad used t’ chop oos oop wif chainsaw, then we’d get oop for work 3 hours before we’d goone to bed, work 27 hours a day down mine, coome ooome…(well it was ooomme to oos), all 15 o’ ooos hundled together in shoe box in tha middle o’ road, get run over by tha No 16 bus every half hour….an we thought we ‘ad it good….tell yung people today tha & they woont believe ya

SM says:

04:39pm | 15/10/09

Rose, something tells me you’re going to need to exercise your “right to smack” for a long, long time

Kaz says:

04:45pm | 15/10/09

I got the wooden spoon and the feather duster. On one occassion, when I was really really bad (as is, intentionally letting the handbrake off and taking out the rolladoors at both ends of the garage) I got the strap. The rest of the time the strap just hung there on the coat rack, reminding us of the time that “kaz got the strap”.

I turned out fine and I don’t think its abuse.

The fact is that parents who abuse their children are going to do it even if we do make smacking illegal. They already go too far, changing the law isn’t going to save those kids. Instead it will waste resources which could be better used to help children in abusive households. If we waste time and resources prosecuting parents over what would be classified as “minor offences” then the children that really need our help are going to fall through the cracks.

Old Scotchman says:

05:03pm | 15/10/09

What’s that funny smell ?

Sophie says:

05:16pm | 15/10/09

My mum had three wooden spoon - one for each of us. The sweet, sweet irony was that each spoon had a smiley face drawn on it.  Like the other comments above, the threat of ‘getting the wooden spoon’ was enough.. until one of the spoons broke and then it became pure slapstick. (Boom Boom). I dunno… I think domestic violence and smacking are different things. I’m glad my Dad smacked my hand when I tried to put a fork in a power point as a toddler.. god knows I wouldn’t be here now.

James says:

05:17pm | 15/10/09

Bill, I was attempting to do something similar, except I was about to throw the wooden spoon in the woodheater, when my Dad caught me and explained that there were no more wooden spoons left in the world and he would have to use a metal serving spoon if I destroyed the worlds last wooden spoon!!

(he would NEVER’ have actually done that - but as a naive kid I believed him)

I soon put the wooden spoon back where it belonged, and behaved myself just in case the worlds last wooden spoon was lost and he had to use a metal spoon

My parents were very responsible in the use of the smack/spoon, and I appreciate the lesson it taught me.

Dave says:

05:20pm | 15/10/09

I got the wooden spoon from Mum a few times. However I don’t even remember the actual episodes. I vaguely recall the spoon breaking once! Usually the worse punishment was “wait until your father gets home!” A telling off from Dad left us in no doubt what would happen if we ignored him.
Dad never hit me with anything except an open hand on the backside. He only did that twice. There was no question I deserved it both times.

With my own kids I have never smacked them. However the threat that I might smack them is quite powerful. I did smack my nephew once but he really needed to feel some consequences.

Julia says:

07:49pm | 15/10/09

Dave: Brave man. I’d never step over the line and be the village with my sister-in-law’s kids. However, I would with my dearest friends.

Margie says:

08:29pm | 15/10/09

Meh to the wooden spoon - what about the plastic spatula?! Now there was a parenting weapon that wielded results (a sprint up the car tracks away from it) and, when it did hit the offending (usually laughing) child, resounded with a spatulatic crack.

Esme says:

02:22am | 16/10/09

I can’t remember a day of my childhood where my brother or I didn’t warrant a smacking from Mum and her wooden spoon/window rod. We were a pair of smart alecs and VERY naughty little kids. I remember the glee with which we would rush to the kitchen to get the spoon out of the drawer if Mum was going to smack the other one. She broke it on my brother’s bottom once but it was still a fearsome deterrent - I’m quite certain she replaced it the very same afternoon.

It’s funny, my brother and I look back and laugh at those times now. Both of us plan to smack our children - spare the rod, spoil the child and I’ve seen that amongst my cousins. Also, I’m certain bad behaviour is hereditary - from what I’ve heard Mum copped a lot of punishments in her boarding school days!

My dad only ever smacked me once -  lightly and with the wooden back of a hairbrush I had. Being a little daddy’s girl, I was devastated and never misbehaved around him again!

S says:

09:23am | 16/10/09

I never got the wooden spoon, but certainly got my fair share of smacks. Mum wasn’t so bad, but Dad would get you on the back of the legs and it would sting like nothing else for hours.

Come to think of it, I think I was the one getting most of the smacks in my house…my sister learnt pretty quickly not to muck up!

Tandah says:

10:53am | 16/10/09

Yes S, but your sister’s life would not have been half as interesting as yours.

Ella says:

07:42pm | 16/10/09

I came from a middle to upper class family with no drug addiction issues which externally did not appear to be broken.  Despite being in a ‘good’ family my sister and I were hit with open palms, a dedicated strapping belt, wooden spoons, hair brushes or whatever was available on a regular basis.  It was always under the guise of ‘discipline’ for things such as leaving crumbs on the breakfast table, not wearing our hair correctly or even crying after being hit.  Both my sister and I have had longstanding difficulties as a result of the violence which started from before we were two years old and didn’t end until we left home.

Smacking of children should NEVER be allowed because as soon as you allow some violence in the home where do you draw the line between discipline and abuse?  A child is unable to determine that line, and the line varies from parent to parent, and even a parent who has had a frustrating day may cross their own line.  By making physical discipline unacceptable you remove the risk of the line being crossed.  There are better alternatives for discipline which are not open to abuse and can be more effective.

If making hitting of children socially unacceptable saves even one child from an abusive situation then it is worth it.

Alan Carter says:

12:15am | 21/07/10

Ella, the only voice of sanity on this whole page.

Being hit for crying (a natural and obvious reaction to being violated) after being assaulted… such a harmful insult!  I know from experience… I can’t forget the overwhelming feeling of being so totally alone in the world when that happened to me, and I imagine that you remember the same feeling.  The fact that you can remember what it felt like to be a small, scared child is most likely the reason you are against any form of abuse against children.

It’s so sad that countless human beings will suffer because most people do whatever they can to forget the pain, and lie to themselves and deny their own childhood sufferings at the hands of the very people who, out of all the people in the world, were meant to protect them from the very things that they the parents are inflicting upon them - pain, humiliation and the destruction of any feelings of self-worth.

The attitude of “it didn’t do me any harm - look at me, I turned out okay… the fact that I feel compelled to physically exert my wish for superiority over beings smaller than myself has nothing to do with the fact that my own dignity and rights to safety and love and understanding were stripped by my so-called guardian(s)” is so damaging - it ensures that the abuse is passed onto the next generation.