Chelsea Clinton is getting married and cash registers in Upstate New York are going to chime. The one day event that will be held this Saturday is estimated to cost $US2 million and I just hope she doesn’t turn up.

Mr and Mrs Mezvinksy. Picture: AFP.

I think she should run to the nearest airport instead and with Marc Mezvinsky in tow, hop on a plane and elope herself right out of there. But not before checking her maiden name at the door and leaving the pressure of being a Clinton, especially a Clinton on her wedding day, far, far behind.

If you’re curious to know how to actually spend that much money on a wedding, there’s an extensive breakdown here, but just to give you some idea the flowers cost $250, 000, music $40,000 and the venue a whopping $750, 000. And that’s tipped to be Astor Courts, Rhinebeck, a rural oasis and a popular weekend destination for celebrities “dotted with wineries and farms”.

As sumptuous and elegant as all that sounds, the emotional costs of this performance/ wedding will far outweigh the glamour. Let’s take the squabbles around the guest list for a start. 

While guest list stress is a fairly unavoidable, not to mention painful part of anyone’s wedding, with parent’s like Chelsea’s’ the task becomes one of diplomatic proportions. And it’s already left more than a few noses out of joint. 

The New York Times reports political supporters, fund-raisers and many “friends” of the Clinton collective have been actively lobbying for an invite.

“You know, when I heard about it, I was hoping to be invited. But when it’s only two weeks from the wedding and you don’t get an invitation, you know you’re not invited,” said one clearly resigned New Yorker. 

“We’re outer circle, not inner circle”, said another.

However there is one person in the United States who doesn’t want to go to the wedding and that’s President Obama. While he and wife Michelle did recieve an invitation they won’t be attending. But even presidential rejection can pale in comparison to the public scrutiny Chelsea has already encountered.

Wedding websites might be all the rage, but only if you create them yourself,  so there is something a little bit creepy about this one that’s written by someone else and devoted entirely to a pre-wedding analysis of Chelsea’s big day.

Then there’s the confidentially agreement that everyone involved in the wedding has to sign,  including the “gift-bag” suppliers” – an incredibly generous (and unnecessary) gesture when you consider that seats are tipped at around $500 per head.

And what about Emm Hadad-Friedman, a bride to be from New York whose rant titled “Will Chelsea Clinton’s wedding ruin mine?” bemoans the fact that she’ll share the same wedding date as the Merzvinskys. It’s enough to make even the most stoic of brides throw in the organza towel.

But wait, there’s more. Samuel P Jacobs of The Daily Beast writes that all eyes that aren’t already swarming over the young couple’s plans are waiting to see if she’ll ditch the “Clinton” on her way back down the aisle.

At least in terms of presidential protocol, Chelsea can follow in the footsteps of all other first daughters and do whatever she likes. Jenna Bush hyphenated, Patti Davis (daughter of Reagan) stuck with her mother’s maiden name while Caroline Kennedy, Susan Ford and Amy Lynn Cater kept theirs.

Should Chelsea decide to change her name on the weekend, Jacobs says she’ll be in good company; 70 per cent of American woman take a married name.But I’m hoping she’ll seize the opportunity to escape the spotlight and take her husband’s name so when she wakes up on her first day as a married woman, she’ll also have a life of her own.

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    • Lee from WA says:

      02:59pm | 29/07/10

      Our modern day wedding culture always seems to miss the mark. All the attention and speculation is focused on the wedding day - as if the rest of the marriage doesn’t matter at all. Celebrity weddings seem to amplify this a thousand fold. The only time you hear about marriage is the wedding day and the day they divorce.

      No wonder so many marriages end in divorce, as we never discuss the substance of marriage, only focusing on the most irrelevant day of all - the wedding day.

    • DD Ball says:

      03:04pm | 29/07/10

      It is often called the happiest day of a persons life. It can be a blessing. I hope it is so for Chelsea. I don’t think she can avoid the notoriety of her parents. I don’t think she can take the Graduate option .. security is too good these days, and I am confident there is no public transport at the exclusive event. I suspect she has the same morals as her mum, in which case she will need a great deal of strength for the day, and those that follow .. for a wise person can find delight in the smallest of things, but a fool’s life is a misery forever.

    • iansand says:

      03:10pm | 29/07/10

      And Lucy jumps on the bandwagon, adding in her own small way to the crap she pretends to decry.

      I have always like the Gruardian’s theory.  They refuse to publish any Royal family “news” as they know it isn’t.

    • bella starkey says:

      03:11pm | 29/07/10

      I think my mum had the right idea about maiden name/married name. Essentially, she has kept her maiden name (it’s on her driver’s licence/professional registration card etc)  but for things like school events she uses her married name, just because it’s easier and less confusing.

    • Alistair Erskine says:

      03:24pm | 29/07/10

      One part of my snobbishness looks down on girls who change their name when they marry. The other part of it hypocritically lauds men who take thier wifes surname as their own.

      But there is no chance that even if she changes her name, that people won’t know who she is or who her parents are.

    • ndavo says:

      09:54pm | 29/07/10

      Yair right. I can see it now. Mrs Fonebone, the former Chelsea Clinton .......

    • Denny Crane says:

      08:30am | 30/07/10

      Chelsea, will keep her own name, she is already being touted as future democrat leader, to keep the clinton family close to the white house

    • Rod Blaine says:

      11:41am | 30/07/10

      Even in a 234-year-old republic, you can still have a lavish royal wedding for a privileged princess.

      A budget that size is God’s way of telling Hill’n'Bll that they need to pay more taxes.

    • Rowdy says:

      02:10pm | 30/07/10

      I wonder if the bridesmaids dresses will be blue?

    • KC says:

      11:01am | 31/07/10

      AHAHA! You really just made my day.

    • Bleeding Heart says:

      11:36pm | 30/07/10

      I reckon that ” Chelsea Clinton” will open a lot more doors than “Chelsea Merzvinsky”
      Somehow, I think she will be keeping the maiden name wink

    • 6c legs says:

      12:40am | 01/08/10

      Just imagine all the people in recession hit up state NY (no need to capitalise the u) who gained employment via this wedding.

      Or is it only rich republicans money that can ‘trickle down’?

    • Jewish in Melbourne says:

      01:38pm | 02/08/10

      Always good to be see some dog-whistling Bleeding Heart.

      Don’t forget to make a crack about the cost of the wedding as well, wouldn’t want to leave any stereotype unpublished wink

    • Andrew says:

      06:54pm | 08/08/10

      I hope she keeps the name Clinton.  It’s time to end this awful tradition of women taking their husbands’ names.


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