A group of 36 Canberrans from all walks of life met last weekend with what many would consider a bizarre objective.

Come here boy - our intrepid columnist comes to grips with a deadly brown.

Grandmothers, tax office workers, lawyers, teachers, small business people and farmers gathered at a scenic rural location just outside the nation’s capital to learn to catch and release some of the world’s deadliest snakes.

None of us enrolled in the Wildcare snake handling course had any experience with the reptiles, save for the occasional sighting, which in my case, usually involved the blood draining from my face and sending my heart into high-octane overload.

Gathered together with six of the organisation’s experienced snake handlers, we’d mostly enlisted to confront our fears, develop confidence and learn more about the creatures which terrify a good slice of the population.

Little did we realize that as the weekend wore on, many of us would become so comfortable with snakes that we’d volunteer to take phone calls from distressed district homeowners who regularly call Wildcare to have a snake removed from their property.

Australia is home to some of the world’s most dangerous snakes. And Canberra, the bush capital, is home to many of these.

The prolific Eastern Brown snake is one. It is the second deadliest snake in the world, just lagging the Taipan, or Fierce Snake. Like many Australians, I’d had several Browns around my property and once, in an inadvertent act of stupidity managed to chase one under my house instead of back out into the paddocks.

Reflecting on this act of lunacy, I signed up for the Wildcare course with a desire to manage snakes better, to learn their behaviors and, if necessary, to be able to treat snake bite.

The ACT is also blessed with the Tiger snake (4th deadliest), the Death Adder and the Red Bellied Black, a comparative venom laggard, which ranks 22nd on the snake league table for toxicology.

Wildcare is an organisation dedicated to the health of our natural fauna. Through its volunteer workforce, it restores all numbers of injured native creatures back to health and catches and releases animals that find themselves in danger due to their proximity to towns or homes. Its primary objectives include providing a high standard of rescue, care, rehabilitation for sick, injured, orphaned and displaced native fauna for successful release into the natural environment.

Snakes obviously rank right at the top of the list for rescue and removal, hence the course, which teaches people to be able to safely manage the creatures, which are actually quite beautiful.

Our instructors split us into three groups and wasted no time in introducing us to the object of our fears, which had been caught in the bush in the week before the course.

A small black snake appeared in the middle of our circle, prompting one woman to step away, pronouncing to us all that she was “absolutely terrified.”

By Sunday, she had bravely overcome her fears, and summoned the courage to bag many Browns safely.

The key to my confidence came with the knowledge that snakes are interested in one thing alone: getting away. Our instructor stressed that snakes had no interest in biting us and there was no chance of getting bitten if we stood still.

This proved completely true. Many times a snake went right through our legs as we practiced getting them into our snake bags in the supervised safe environment.

One snake, in its bid for freedom, even went a small distance up the pant leg of one member of our group, who had the presence of mind to stand absolutely still.

No-one was bitten, no-one came close to being bitten, although we held our collective breath as the so-called “trouser snake” was gently extracted by the instructor.

As the weekend progressed we graduated from the relatively placid Blacks to Tigers and then on to the faster and deadlier Browns.

I have to admit there’s nothing like catching a Brown snake by the tail to get the blood pumping and adrenaline flowing. The act involved more than confronting fear and past apprehension regarding our most misunderstood predators

It also involved total commitment to an act that many would consider insanity – reaching out at just the right moment to control something that has the ability to kill you.

The great thing was that everyone managed to do it. In reality, it really wasn’t that hard provided you followed the excellent instruction.

I watched as someone’s granny pursued an escaping six foot Brown across the terrain, instructor in tow, anxious to bag the snake before the instructor took over.

By the end, just about everyone was routinely popping into their snake bags the reptiles that frequent the nightmares of many Australians. We “graduated” after pulling apart a pile of brush to catch a large Tiger snake that was hidden in its depths.

It was hard not to pinch yourself and say: am I really doing this? But on reflection, I realized that this was a silly question. I had done it and quite easily.

It was a question based in ignorance and deep fear of an animal that should be respected, but shouldn’t be feared at all.

Like pulling apart a brush pile to catch a snake, the course allowed me to systematically dismantle my misconceptions and irrationalities and control the fears that had always lurked within.

19 comments

Show oldest | newest first

    • Paul says:

      06:15am | 05/02/10

      The Liberal closet greenie hey? I have a baby brown that lives 4 metres from my door, sunning himself on the edge of a creek waiting for frogs and insects to come to him/her. (Beats the human concept of a food ‘drive-through’ hands down)  I’m a huge reptile fan but I’ve been disappointed many times that the Libs are pro-development at any cost - including reptiles. Or more precisely tools of developers - like Labor. Maybe you can speak to some of your hard headed Lib friends on wildlife issues David?

    • pete says:

      06:41am | 05/02/10

      awesome stuff

    • Disco Stu does not advertise says:

      07:25am | 05/02/10

      Oh whacking day, oh whacking day, our hallowed snake skull cracking day.

    • Tim says:

      08:11am | 05/02/10

      Don’t they know all you need to catch snakes is the dulcet bass tones of Barry White?

    • bec says:

      07:47am | 05/02/10

      “Maybe if I’m part of that mob, I can help steer it in wise directions. Now where’s my giant foam cowboy hat and airhorn? ”

    • Castro says:

      08:14am | 05/02/10

      Started as an excuse to beat up the Irish.

      Twas true.  I took many a good lump.  But twas all in good fun.

    • TheBigMicka says:

      10:56am | 05/02/10

      (extra deep voice) Don’t hurt the snakes.  Leave all the snakes alone.  Awwwww yeah!

    • Scott Morrison MP says:

      08:06am | 05/02/10

      @Paul how do you go from David’s rather entertaining story about learning how to deal with snakes so he knows what to do if one turns up on his property and he wants to keep his kids safe to a political attack on the Liberal Party. Seriously, not everything has to be about politics. Nice piece Gazzy. I’ll give you a call if one turns up in Lilli Pilli.

    • Brian says:

      11:05am | 05/02/10

      Great article.

      I think I may have to do this on return to Oz as snakes scare the crap out of me.

      Paul - back to the Centrelink - Uncle Kevin has another cheque waiting for you.

    • fluffy says:

      11:28am | 05/02/10

      fried in butter, they taste just like chicken..

    • Alan says:

      12:19pm | 05/02/10

      David demonstrates that you can be a good conservationist without buying into every environmentalist’s Armageddon extortion racket. And I would venture so are most Australians.

    • Neil says:

      12:34pm | 05/02/10

      I had a couple of brown snakes in the yard the other day… got 1 with the trusty long handled shovel but the big 1 got away…. much like my fishing trips! This couse sounds like a good idea though.

    • Neil says:

      12:35pm | 05/02/10

      I had a couple of brown snakes in the yard the other day… got 1 with the trusty long handled shovel but the big 1 got away…. much like my fishing trips! This couse sounds like a good idea though.

    • Arios says:

      03:50pm | 05/02/10

      Awesome!!! I don’t think I would have the guts, but I admire you! smile

    • Nisu says:

      10:40am | 06/02/10

      Great story! There is at least one very large Brown snake living in my backyard. It loves the frogs. Who provides the training/course?

    • David Gazard says:

      04:29pm | 06/02/10

      Wildcare Australia. It was a greast experience, inexpensive and, if you are up for it, ongoing snake experiences if you volunteer to be a rescuer.

    • ssnakebyte says:

      04:52pm | 08/02/10

      Wildcare Queanbeyan actually. Wildcare Australia operates in Queensland. The truly bizarre thing is that Wildcare (a NSW licenced organisation) is not really allowed by the ACT authorities to do wildlife rescues etc in the ACT. That goes for reptiles too I believe. You’d better make sure the snakes you relocate know where the borders are- like all the birds and mammals do.

    • Shirley says:

      05:57pm | 09/02/10

      Us “snake whisperers” (yes I was at the course too, have taught the snakes to read so they won’t come into your back yard over the border LOL!)

    • Ssnakebyte says:

      07:15pm | 10/02/10

      Well done Shirley and all the other snake whisperers,
      I hope you taught the macropods, wombats, birds, lizards, bats and echidnas to read too so they don’t get caught out on the “dark side” of the border.
      cheers!

 

Facebook Recommendations

Read all about it

Punch live

Up to the minute Twitter chatter

Daniel Piotrowski

RT @popculturechris: Meanwhile, Gotye holds no.1 for a sixth massive week in the US - "that" song has now sold over 4 million copies there.

ToryShepherd

@loupascale if the survey made you sad, probably skip the comments...

Paul Colgan

@paulwiggins @richardkendall that fountain pens yarn is a great social trend story

Paul Colgan

I like how a tip erodes so only you can use it MT “@paulwiggins: BBC News - Why are fountain pen sales rising? http://t.co/0hk2MRtf

Recent posts

The latest and greatest

Protecting the Barrier Reef is the Fin end of the wedge

Protecting the Barrier Reef is the Fin end of the wedge

When you take on a job like being Environment Minister there’s some hits you can see coming. …

ICB: Is white bread the worst thing since sliced bread?

ICB: Is white bread the worst thing since sliced bread?

Welcome to this week’s I Call Bullshit column. It’s a regular column that looks at skulduggery…

Sometimes, you’ve just got to stick it to the bloody ref

Sometimes, you’ve just got to stick it to the bloody ref

We are taught early in life that we should not question authority. We must listen to our parents, our…

Gentle jabs to the ribs

They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments

They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments

A private school girl’s family is sueing her elite, extremely expensive private school for not… Read more

243 comments

Newsletter

Read all about it

Sign up to the free daily Punch newsletter