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Campaign countdown: Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass

David Penberthy

by David Penberthy

04 Jun 05:40am

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Filed under: Campaign Countdown, Herb Alpert, Kevin Rudd, Tony Abbott

30 comments

In an exciting first for parliamentary democracy, The Punch is pioneering the use of hold music for viewers of Question Time who, this week, have had to wait an eternity to hear any actual questions.

From now on, whenever Tony Abbott moves a censure motion, forcing a time-sapping division as the vote is predictably lost on party lines, the timeless classic Spanish Flea by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass is played on our Coveritlive module. For added variety we will occasionally play Yakety Sax, following requests from our equally jaded readers.

We’ve been looking for a word to describe Question Time this week, and we’ve decided that the word is “crap”. It had been going for 32 minutes yesterday before a single question had been asked. The biggest story of the week has been the collapse in public support for the major parties, and they have both seemed hell-bent on proving the punters right by turning the Parliament into a rabble.

There’s obviously important stuff going on. Global mining giant Xstrata has suddenly announced it’s suspending $586m of investment in Queensland, placing 3250 jobs under a cloud. Queensland Premier Anna Bligh urged both the mining companies and the Rudd Government to start proper negotiations, saying: “This is no longer a war of words.”

But out of Federal Parliament this week we have seen nothing but tactically-questionable stunts.

Kevin Rudd is blaming Tony Abbott. Labor said yesterday that, since Abbott became Opposition Leader last December, he’s moved a censure motion or a no-confidence on every third sitting day to bludge a cheap “Kevin Rudd today faced censure” line on the radios and the nightly news.

Tony Abbott is blaiming Kevin Rudd, saying Labor’s total lack of accountability on the backflip over government advertising for the mining tax, and everything from insulation to the BER and in between, means that Question Time is no longer operating as an information-gathering forum.

As they say in California, like, whatever. At the end of this week, the first for our campaign countdown daily blog, we score the Greens as hands-down the biggest winners, having not only doubled their party support to an election-shattering 16 points in Newspoll, but benefitted from the poor conduct across both sides of the chamber.

There’s no Parliament until Monday June 14 when it returns for a fortnight - possibly the last two sitting weeks before the election. There’s a couple of takes on the election timing that are worth a look - Dennis Shanahan on the five hurdles Rudd must clear before the poll, and Mark Kenny from The Advertiser examines the implications of the Greens surge.

After a week like this, bring on the election, as nothing could be worse than another non-question Question Time.

Most commented

427Australia, you have nothing to fear but fear itself
375There's no one Thomson won't burn to save his skin
313Thomson didn't answer the question everyone is asking
304Animal experiments won't cure me from cancer
262Who murdered the Arts degree?
246A big day for Thomson, who thus far is guilty of nothing...
231South Australia. It's the middle bottom bit.
231Craig Thomson speaks. Meanwhile, in Australia...

30 comments

Show oldest | newest first

    • Rob r Charteris says:

      07:02am | 04/06/10

      Penbo; ?You got that right Crap! Crap and more Crap. Abbott failed again at the end of QT for another censor motion, this time supported by the leader of the Nationals taking Hockey’s place as back stop. Btw, I appreciated the hold music it was a real treat and gave us something to chat about. As someone suggested it’s time to give Harry Jenkins a taser.

      Reply

    • Wayne Fehlhaber says:

      09:15am | 04/06/10

      Rob the Xtrata cancellation of $600 Million investment in Queensland
      is justification for the Coalition’s censure motion against the Prime Minister. While you earnt your income listening to QT , the repercussions of the RSPT were breaking all over Queensland’s Labor Premier Captain Bligh , who was wailing and gnashing her teeth over the loss of 3500 jobs , royalties , mining infrastructure etc etc .  Western Australia is about to face the same impact from the Rudd govt’s lunacy.
      The electorate will demand retribution for the destruction of investment in Australia’s mining industry and the resulting job losses . Allied industry will also feel the adverse effects and further job losses will occur.  The time has come for people who have supported the Rudd govt’s direction in their attempts to refill the plundered coffers , to realise that their support is for economic destruction not seen since the Whitlam govt’s experiment in socialism.

    • Shane From Melbourne says:

      12:30pm | 04/06/10

      As far as I know the cancellation of the Xstrata’s investment is actually a suspension. As I’ve said before, let’s just sell the mining leases to China which would be happy to take them over and boot companies like Xstrata out the door. Ah the sweet irony- only a year ago the Greens were accusing Rudd of being under the thumb of Xstrata:
      http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/02/22/2497983.htm

    • Robert Smissen , rural SA says:

      12:51pm | 04/06/10

      Shane of Melbourne, we will be the southernmost province of China as it is, don’t make it happen any sooner, anyway what makes you think they would pay a fair price or for that matter pay award rates? ?

    • persephone says:

      07:39am | 04/06/10

      Well, it was Tony Abbott moving all those censure motions that you were talking about, so I can’t see how they’re Rudd’s fault.

      On the Greens - firstly, you know as well as I do that this is one poll. A huge leap of support for any party in one poll is iffy, to say the least. Let’s wait until a few more get out before we get all excited.

      The last newspoll, for example, had an extremely high ‘Others’ vote, again a record breaker. In this newspoll, that’s vanished.

      What this does suggest, however,is that people who are dissatisfied with Labor aren’t moving their primary vote to Abbott.

      Newspoll doesn’t ask people how they’re going to allocate their preferences, but does this according to how preferences flowed at the last election, so they’re the ones assuming how those who are parking their primaries with the Greens or Others are going to direct these, so the 2PP is fairly speculative.

      Anyway, a high Greens vote will mean Greens hold the bop in the Senate, which should mean tougher action on climate change.

      I’d like to see that.

      Reply

    • Ben says:

      08:20am | 04/06/10

      For those not with the time to read pers’ rant, let me summarise.

      - It’s all Abbott’s fault

    • Nigel Catchlove says:

      10:06am | 04/06/10

      And there’s the nub of the problem persephone ‘I can’t see how they’re Rudd’s fault’.  You never can, you are blind to any flaws in his policy, in his administration, in his consultation or leadership. 

      I’m a Liberal but not a Tony Abbot disciple, I want desperately to see a return to a Liberal government and so I begrudgingly accept that will be under his tutelage.  Frankly even a Liberal government under Abbott will be better than our current rabble who are incapable of organising a beer at a pub.

    • persephone says:

      12:25pm | 04/06/10

      Nigel

      so you approve of Abbott’s behaviour in QT yesterday, then?

    • Overflow says:

      01:56pm | 04/06/10

      When the PM fails to engage in proper debate and when the PM &  Treasurer actively seek to mislead the public about the mining tax what other option did the Opposition have but to highlight the fact that Rudd is gutless??
      If the PM were really interested in tax reform he would have consulted with the states to abolish royalties and egaged the miners BEFORE he announced it and put the income into the budget.  Instead we have a situation where he cannot negotiate because of his own stupidity. 

      The Labor spin machine down at Hawker Britton must be doing some serious overtime to come up with a new angle for the PM because out where I am even the most ardent Labor men are telling me they would rather have Abbott.

    • acker says:

      07:41am | 04/06/10

      I was there on the punch ticker and ended up getting into a cyber stoush with another punch ticker person over a country versus city matter…mainly due to these 32 minutes of idle time and inactivity

      Reply

    • Jacob M says:

      08:35am | 04/06/10

      What appalls me as taxpayers we are paying them for all this rubbish!! How many months wages have we paid The Liberal Party for all their carry on? Change of leadership ect. It’s a disgrace. If they were in the private sector they would all be sacked. I saw a very snide remark from a very elderly 68 year old Bronwyn Bishop yesterday to Julia Gillard ,who is incidentally young enough at 44 years old to be Bishops daughter. I thought how petty as if those on The Liberal side as if are movie star material, who are they to criticize?

      Reply

    • Nigel Catchlove says:

      10:14am | 04/06/10

      There are two sides to the argument and you would be well advised to take stock of both sides before forming an opinion. Obviously you didn’t hear the retort which suggested Bronwyn looked like one of the staff of White Lady Funerals.  From your skewed perspective that was probably the Liberal’s fault too, fancy letting an elderly woman in Parliament - and dressed in white too - shame on them.

    • persephone says:

      12:28pm | 04/06/10

      Er…Nigel…so it’s OK for Bronwyn to call people names, but not OK if people do the same to her?

      Surely she should be setting an example to younger politicians, rather than giving them the idea that such behaviour is acceptable.

      Still waiting for you to give your side of the argument and explain why the Liberals’ tactics in Parliament yesterday were acceptable.

    • luke09 says:

      12:57pm | 04/06/10

      persephone, it was pretty funny calling Julia Gillard the member for david jones, did you not see her outfit? Even Julia laughed.

    • persephone says:

      01:06pm | 04/06/10

      Not questioning the humour of the moment, luke, just the double standards shown by Nigel.

    • Diamantina Dick says:

      08:49am | 04/06/10

      Everything is treated as an inconvienience by K Rudd, Parliament and Caucus being just two of them. Every contrivance is used to belittle legitimate processes. Abbott is not to blame for holding these record making incompetants to account at every available opportunity. Penbo, you have well and trully outed yourself in the last couple of days, the election must be closing on us.

      Reply

    • Lucy says:

      09:08am | 04/06/10

      Oh boo hoo! Must be tough when the Parliament doesn’t do exactly what you want it to do!

      Seriously, what’s the issue here? Why do you want Question Time to only be about questions? There are two types - Dorothy Dix questions, where the Government asks itself a question and we get bored stupid listening to Kevin Rudd drone on for ages, or nasty questions from the Opposition designed to embarrass the Government in some form.

      We like Question Time for the sport - that’s why, presumably, you cover it live…

      As for the censure motions, or motions to debate - what is wrong with that? Both are available under the Standing Orders of the Parliament - so get with the program.

      The mining tax is dominating public debate, yet the Prime Minister refuses to debate the Leader of the Opposition on it - in our nation’s democratic chamber - the House of Representatives.

      Why is he hiding? And rather than criticising for the lack of ‘Question Time’ while the Opposition (and I note from yesterday and independent MP) try to get the Government to come out of hiding and debate the issue in the Parliament - how about investigating and commenting on the gutlessness of this Prime Minister and his Government…..

      The shutting down of debate is disgraceful. And yes, I know the former government did it too - and I didn’t agree with it then. But, while the Opposition is used to it, and frankly expects it - it was a stupid tactic to move that the speaker be not further heard when an independent is moving a motion. Really, really dumb.

      But back to the point - you might not like the tedium of having to sit through a division, but rather than whingeing about it, how about looking into the reasons for it and spend your time commenting on that!

      Reply

    • Justin says:

      09:11am | 04/06/10

      Ring the bells for 4 minutes. Lock the doors. Ring the bells for 1 minute. Lock the doors. Ring the bells for 1 minute. Lock the doors. The member is ejected for 1 hour. Ring the bells for 4 minutes…...

      The voice over guy on News Radio was running out of things to say & started playing stings & reading out actual news stories.

      At least give Mike Oldfield a call & get some ideas for jazzing up the bell ringing.

      Reply

    • LizzieA01 says:

      09:13am | 04/06/10

      I wonder if you could get the ABC to play Spanish Flea instead of making the poor guy who hosts QT try and come up with something to say?  Yesterday was PAINFUL!  thank god that media such as Punch and of course Twitter enabled some type of “question time” even if that question was WTF.

      Reply

    • Tony says:

      09:22am | 04/06/10

      You want Herb? You got Herb. One of the great music film clips.

      Reply

    • TrueOz says:

      12:02pm | 04/06/10

      I want Herb for PM - and the whole Tijuana Brass as his trusty ministers. They’re all playing the same tune and actually got something done - i.e. a best-selling album. Kev and Tony have a lot to learn!

    • Steve says:

      09:55am | 04/06/10

      At least the speaker is awake to Wilson Tuckey trying to get himself thrown out on Thursday afternoon so he can catch the early flight back to WA. His punishment yesterday was he had to remain in the chamber.

      Reply

    • Why not then? says:

      11:23am | 04/06/10

      Why not go all the way and introduce Parliamentaglee Question Time? Everyone gets to sing, dance and wear costumes.  You could even have special guests.  Mr Schuster (Rudd) takes on Abbott in the Sue Sylvester role.  Who wouldn’t buy the ensemble version of “Don’t Stop Believing”?  At least there’d be some entertainment for your tax dollar.

      Reply

    • Brad Coward says:

      12:05pm | 04/06/10

      But which piece of music could be played every time Anthony Albanese leaps to his feet to move that member speaking be no longer heard ?

      Reply

    • TrueOz says:

      01:20pm | 04/06/10

      I’d go with a bit of classic George Thoroughgood on that one;

      “You talk too much!”

    • Julie Coker-Godson says:

      05:32pm | 04/06/10

      How about Horrie Dargie Quintet’s - “Big Noise from Winneka”!

    • Andy says:

      12:22pm | 04/06/10

      Why bother with questions when questions don’t get answers. All QT is, is a platform for the Government to give campaign speeches and slag the Opposition, not answer questions. No wonder the Opposition can’t be bothered asking questions any longer.

      Reply

    • luke09 says:

      12:33pm | 04/06/10

      penbo, if you could access the speakers in parliament house play the song for the congo dance line or the wedding chicken dance song. It would be entertaining to watch the politicians doing something constructive for a change.

      Reply

    • preciouspress says:

      04:12pm | 04/06/10

      Music should be provided by the Grimethorpe Colliery Band stars of ‘Brassed Off’ - a constant reminder of how much mine owners care about jobs.

      Reply

    • Timmo says:

      08:32am | 06/06/10

      Do you people actually have time to sit there and watch question time. Mustn’t have much to do with yourselves.

      Reply
 
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