Following the success of my colleague Paul Colgan’s call for entries to the Punch Political Dictionary, today we’re launching a parallel appeal for entries to the Punch Business Dictionary – those words and phrases that tripped off the tongue during the corporate gyrations of the past year.
The good folk at Macquarie Dictionary have offered six suggestions. Here are ours. Over to you - and please give generously.
Float-model: A beautiful woman used to attract investors to your listing on the stock market. Pioneered, and possibly perfected, by Myer with Jennifer Hawkins during its $2.4bn float. Investors, some no doubt encouraged to open their wallets by the presence of the former Miss Universe, are still waiting for the shares to reach their issue price.
Quantitative easing: The fancy euphemism governments and central banks use when, running out of options, they decide the best way to stimulate the economy is to print more money. The process is designed to put more cash into the economy, creating more money for companies to spend and for banks to lend. The Macquarie calls this the “Zimbabwe option”. But countries as mighty as Britain gave it a go last year.
Cautiously optimistic: How every chief executive of every company will sum up their prospects for the coming year.
Forecasting: An inside joke among economists.
Structural/functional separation: The delicate government-led process of dismembering a top-10 Australian company. Expect to hear this phrase – accompanied by much wailing from Telstra – throughout 2010.
Amigo: A former business associate recruited shortly after a foreigner is appointment chief executive of an Australian company. Considered racist in some quarters.
Adios: How the Prime Minister traditionally farewells you and your amigos on your inevitable (and somewhat wealthier) departure. Considered racist in some quarters.
ASICK: How the Australian Securities and Investments Commission feels every time it loses white-collar court case. It’s been a familiar feeling in the past year.
MISsing: What happened to more of your money is you invested in a Managed Investment Scheme, such as the Great Southern or Timbercorp plantations.
Banana smoothie: Another term for interest rate movements, according to Westpac.
Obscene payments: Treasurer Wayne Swan’s term for executive salaries. He tackled the issue by holding a review, which pretty much found there was no real problem.
MANaging: What most Australian company boards are doing. A recent survey found half of the top 200 companies had no women on their boards.
Madoff Scheme: The 21st Century version of Charles Ponzi’s 20th Century scam. Bernie Madoff, now in jail, was not particularly original, merely copying Ponzi’s pioneering work in the area.
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