In an age of texting, Tweeting and Facebooking it’s the Campaign 2010 version of a Jane Austen courtship – brimming with potential for misinterpretation, hurt feelings and cross purposes.

The Gentlemen's starched collars constrained their growing passions…

Instead of picking up the phone (so 2009) the National Director of the Liberal Party Brian Loughnane and the National Secretary of the ALP Karl Bitar have taken to firing off increasingly melodramatic letters to each other.

Between each line you can almost feel the building tension over tomorrow night’s proposed debate / people’s forum / Roman wrestling bout between Julia Gillard and Tony Abbott in Brisbane.

And we don’t even have to wait for the history books to creak open to read them.

The latest missive lobbed (the latest in a series of many, we’ve lost count):

Brain Loughnane
National Campaign Director
Liberal Party of Australia
PO Box 24133
Bourke Street
MELBOURNE VIC 3001

Dear Brian,

Last night Mr Abbott said he was available for a thirty minute “debate” on the economy with the Prime Minister yet your latest letter this morning only commits him to an “interview”.

Please advise why Mr Abbott has gone backwards to the ducking and running of the past few weeks and is again refusing to debate the most important issue in this campaign.

If he’s changed his mind again and is scared of a debate on the economy he should just be honest enough to say so.

The Prime Minister will be in Brisbane tomorrow night for an economic debate and a town hall meeting. Mr Abbott’s reluctance to participate speaks volumes about his lack of a plan for our $1.3 trillion economy.

Yours sincerely
Karl Bitar

ALP National Secretary

That was in response to this, which was distributed to the media just before midday today.

Mr Karl Bitar
National Secretary
Australian Labor Party
PO Box 6222
KINGSTON ACT 2604

Dear Karl,

Mr Abbott will be in Brisbane tomorrow evening to take part in the Town Hall Forum organised by the Courier-Mail.

He has said to the people of Brisbane that he stands ready to answer their questions and he won’t walk away from this commitment.

Mr Abbott is also available to take part in an interview with Ms Gillard on the ABC this evening.

We trust Ms Gillard is also able to take part in these important events.

Yours sincerely,

Brian Loughnane
National Campaign Director

There are many others preceding this in the exchange. Take our word for it.

By the time this fraught event takes place (if it does), expect Brian and Karl to have negotiated the height of the stools on which the candidates will sit (North – South Korean style), Brian to have insisted the venue be cleared of all copies of the Womans’ Weekly, and Karl to have expressed further hurt over Brian’s unfeeling replies.

And people are calling this campaign a soap opera.

Most commented

17 comments

Show oldest | newest first

    • Nicole says:

      01:59pm | 17/08/10

      Jeez, why don’t they just text each other, or send each other tweets? Besides it being a hell of a lot quicker, if they tweet, we all get to read the dribble. We need to read more dribble from these pollies, because this election hasn’t given us enough dribbling.

    • Macca says:

      02:24pm | 17/08/10

      There is only one way this should be allowed to end; No Rules Cage Fight to the Death. Both secretaries can pick on weapon each.

      lets be honest, it couldn’t be nearly as painful as their jobs

    • MarK says:

      11:44am | 18/08/10

      I would pay to see that.

      As long as Hornswoggle gets to cameo…it ain’t wrestling without a dwarf.

    • watchingwithinterest says:

      03:07pm | 17/08/10

      Every time I see the name Karl Bitar I get a cold shiver up my spine.  the man is a snake and a bully and all he is doing when he writes letter like his latest is confirm it in my mind.  Julia Gillard said anytime, anywhere.  Well Tony said tonight on the ABC, hope to see her there.

    • Jacquie Butterfield says:

      03:10pm | 17/08/10

      Poor,  childish tactics.  We do need adults to govern the nation.  Gillard knows that if she stacks 3 hours back to back, with Tony on last, the audience will be restless and lose focus.  She didn’t have the nerve for three debates, broke Rudd’s promise, and the way her people publicly plan everything makes her outfit a hopeless laughing stock.  The ABC is Labor’s best ally, glossing brightly over their faux pas and poor deals.

    • C1 says:

      03:33pm | 17/08/10

      This probably the last thing they have to entertain themselves with given the campaign is ending - so we shuld let them play.

      Anyway, I like letters as it seems more appropriate for the Gentlemen Campaign Managers. texting and phone calls are more for the common campaign staffer.

    • Super D says:

      04:17pm | 17/08/10

      It could be a ringing endorsement of Australia post that so many letters were corresponded in such a short time though I suspect the letters were sent as email attachments in an uneditable PDF format.

    • Tails says:

      04:19pm | 17/08/10

      Sounds like someone has small man’s syndrome.

    • Horrified observer says:

      05:05pm | 17/08/10

      Extremely unimpressed with Karl Bitar"s ideas of communication.  Snarling epithets are irrelevant and inappropriate between clerical staff of opposition political parties supposedly co-ordinating diary dates.  Makes me wonder if bully boy tactics are approved code of conduct in the Labor Party?  There are examples of this behaviour in union officials too!  Mobile phones are providing a spotlight on the undercover aggression that the Labor Party denies exists.

    • Bitten says:

      05:43pm | 17/08/10

      You know what it means when two people are this nasty and petty with each other - they need to get a room and make sweet, sweet bipartisan political love with each other.

      Either that or someone should put the hose on them.

    • Jason CR says:

      06:12pm | 17/08/10

      How about we ditch the worm and connect both to a polygraph machine?

      Then we’ll see what a cold hearted witch she is, rather than her own party telling us through the leaks.

    • watchingwithinterest says:

      08:24pm | 17/08/10

      looks like the labor party have found another form of communication.  Last night Tony Abbott gets put on the spot after the Labor Party provide Tony Jones with an offer and tonight they did the same thing on by releasing their statement when they know that Tony Abbott is on 7.30 report.  Julia said anywhere, anytime.  The media were briefed that Julia didn’t need a speech for her launch and then one is photographed on the lecturn.  How are we supposed to accept as the truth anything Julia says.  That just two example in the last two days.

    • Rosie says:

      09:17pm | 17/08/10

      Forget the stupid debate, we have had Abbott and Gillard debating each other the last 4 weeks. I am sick of it. What we will see and hear in the stupid debate is exactly what we have been hearing in the last 4 weeks.

      The forum in Brisbane is not for Abbott and Gillard it is for the people, asking real questions and wanting real answers not party messages that they are trying to promote. The party message that we have been hearing non stop from Day 1.

      Gillard wasn’t in her comfort zone at the Rooty Hill RSL and therefore is making up excuses not to get herself in the same situation. Gillard is selfish only thinking of herself instead of the people. I say again it is not about them it is about the people.

    • gone rogue says:

      10:21pm | 17/08/10

      at least Karl knows how to run a campaign.

      Hey @tors do you still think the polls showing an ALP win are rogue?

      Ahahahaha.

      Good riddance Tony you bigot

    • MarK says:

      11:45am | 18/08/10

      The hate is strong in this one…let go of your dark thoughts embrace the Force and walk in the light.

    • Daniel says:

      10:29pm | 17/08/10

      Karl Bittar needs to get real and see the damage him and his sussex st mates are doing to Australia. Him coming down on Rudd and pushing Gillard to oust him. It has created an environment of instability that could se the election of the reckless,dangerous Abbott government. They should know better.

    • John Dean says:

      10:18am | 18/08/10

      Advance Australia Where ?  Some say the Public Memory lasts 21 days!
      What about her Brutus-Rudd act, she is a political assassain.  are we entering a goose-and gander act.?  All Aussies, on Saturday, use reason, not emotion, in your thinking, and lead us to to the World Dais”, as a Nation of “thinking people ”  Please!

 

Facebook Recommendations

Read all about it

Punch live

Up to the minute Twitter chatter

ToryShepherd

@CatherineDeveny @sydwritersfest A wobble

Paul Colgan

RT @NASA: Amazing views from the International Space Station of Pavlof Volcano erupting in Alaska. http://t.co/vqBkkiOful

Paul Colgan

US Google Doodle features a girl's touching depiction of her father's return from Iraq http://t.co/4LiRFOntTY

Paul Colgan

@paulwiggins Ha. Actually, I like hiding away with a quality read. The internet used to be a guilty pleasure, now it's the other way round.

Recent posts

The latest and greatest

The Punch is moving house

The Punch is moving house

Good morning Punchers. After four years of excellent fun and great conversation, this is the final post…

Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?

Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?

I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…

Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”

Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”

In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…

Nosebleed Section

choice ringside rantings

From: Hasbro, go straight to gaol, do not pass go

Tim says:

They should update other things in the game too. Instead of a get out of jail free card, they should have a Dodgy Lawyer card that not only gets you out of jail straight away but also gives you a fat payout in compensation for daring to arrest you in the first place. Instead of getting a hotel when you… [read more]

From: A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go

Kel says:

If you want a festival for older people or for families alike, get amongst the respectable punters at Bluesfest. A truly amazing festival experience to be had of ALL AGES. And all the young "festivalgoers" usually write themselves off on the first night, only to never hear from them again the rest of… [read more]

Gentle jabs to the ribs

Superman needs saving

Superman needs saving

Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more

28 comments

Newsletter

Read all about it

Sign up to the free News.com.au newsletter