Breastfeeding, it’s not about choice

Angela, non breastfeeding mum says:

01:35pm | 07/05/10

What a huge contradiction!!!!!! You are quick to deem that mothers who dont breasfeed are “simply putting their own interests before that of their child” yet you go onto say Ïm not keen on being a stay at home mother myself…”  Thats not thinking about YOUR own interests first??  I dare say you ignore the reports and stastics that say that children are better off staying at home being raised with their mother!  How dare you.  How dare you think that its not our choice to breastfeed, like it is a choice not to be a stay at home mum.  Mothers are criticised WAY too much for choices, and it starts from the minute you are pregnant.  I hope you have a fall of your high horse.

Ellie says:

04:48pm | 07/05/10

Ooops, I dared to have an opinion like you Angela. Uhem please point out where I said that mothers should not be allowed to have a choice? Perhaps you are confusing me with the author of the article. I believe that women should have choices, but I’m not going to shy away from saying that breast milk is the best for your child and formula doesn’t come close.

You’re wrong, there is no contradiction. There are no studies to show that stay at home dad’s are any worse than stay at home mums, where as there are mountains of evidence that breast milk is better than formula. Find me a report that concludes that stay at home Dad’s are bad for kids, please.

Oh I’m not on a high horse either, I’m basing my opinion on conclusive facts.

MotherOf2 says:

06:34pm | 07/05/10

Sorry Ellie, but I’ll listen to you a little more intently when you’ve actually had a baby. Be keen to see if you then ‘blame yourself’ if everything goes pear-shaped in the breastfeeding stakes! You, frankly, have no idea the pressure that most mothers feel to breastfeed and when it doesn’t come easily, and it invariably doesn’t, there’s a myriad reasons why a caring, comitted mother has really no choice but to stop trying. “putting their own interests befoer that of their child” is a ridiculous, sweeping statement from someone who is in no way qualified to comment…take your sanctimony elsewhere.

good grief says:

10:24am | 08/05/10

Motherof2 - the argument of “you wouldn’t know, you’re not a parent” “I’ll listen a little more intently when you’ve actually had a baby” is the last bastion of those that really don’t have a legitimate argument.  I was scathing of mothers who prioritise their greed and ambition ahead of their childs welfare before I was a parent, and I am just as scathing now.  Yes breastfeeding does not come easy, I know from first hand experience, but this article also points to the fact that those who HAVE breastfed, don’t continue because of the inconvenience.  People don’t like hearing that they have prioritised their lifestyle and the money needed to facilitate it, over the long term health of their child.  I was climbing the corporate ladder, making a very healthy wage.  But I chose to have a child, and that child should not suffer because I can’t deal with a cut in disposable income.  And if someone tries to trot out the old chestnut of needing two incomes, then you’ve over extended yourself to begin with.  Sell up, move somewhere cheaper and be a parent.  Your child didn’t have a choice to be brought into this world, so suck it up and do what you are supposed to do to raise a healthy, secure and happy child.

Lanii Douglas says:

03:55pm | 08/05/10

“So one would think that unless you want your children to grow up fat and stupid you would heed the advice of medical professionals and abide by the WHO guidelines. So why do so many quit breastfeeding in the first six months?”

It is comments like this in articles like this that make me sick!
Yes I breast-fed four children for well over two ... See Moreyears each but it was very difficult for me, especially my with my eldest. In hindsight the best thing I could have done for both of us would have been to feed him formula from a bottle. I was young, he was what was termed then as a “high need infant”, he cried. Alot. All day. (or so it seemed).
I persevered with breast feeding because that is what good mothers do isn’t it. I had read all the propagander (oops, literature) about breast feeding and naturally did not want my baby to be fat, stupid, wind up in prison, or worse, vote labor! I wanted my child to be an athletic, clever, law-abiding liberal voting well rounded citizen. Something that would surely only happen if I breastfed him. I was of the firm belief that if I didn’t breast feed him I would be the worst mother in the world, welfare would come and take him from me, elderly women would shake their finger at me and people would think I was bottle feeding my baby because I couldn’t be bothered with the breast feeding.
Instead of enjoying my baby while he was tiny I worried, fussed was stressed, I couldn’t leave him for five minutes while I caught my breath, and all in all as much as I love him and he has grown up to be a fine law abiding, clever person who makes a great contribution to society, I wonder looking back if it was all worth it.
I really wish the staunch advocates of breast feeding (and I was one, in my time) would really pull their heads in and look more at the big picture. Families who for WHATEVER reason decide to feed their baby fomula are making a decision that is right for THEM and do not need articles from the “nipple nazis” making them feel guilty for making such a choice.
At the end of the day, the important thing is that the baby is loved, warm, clean, stimulated, cuddled and fed-fed by whatever means suits the family.
I don’t think any baby who grows up to be an axe-murderer becomes that way just because he was bottle fed. Other factors come into it too.

Stepping off my soap-box now.

More Grief says:

08:26pm | 08/05/10

To Good Grief…what a load of ’ Holier than thou ’ tripe. Sounds like you would be scathing of anyone who may be in a position to be make you present as better than they.
The fact that your experience wasn’t so terrible that you could continue to BF obviously means that those that stop are to be scorned as they mustn’t be as good as you, as noone could have an experience worse than yours. Could it also be that you have been either well provided for or perhaps just content with mediocrity to have such a financial attitude.
Having and raising children effects and is effected by all facets of your life/lifestyle. To say that all else is to be abandoned so you can BF is ludicrous. ” Oh, we can’t afford education, a decent house in a safe area or even safe transport for our child since I threw it all away so I didn’t have to express or formular feed….but MY baby got breast milk”

Rhonda says:

04:59pm | 09/05/10

Lanii Douglas, I think I love you.  The way you expressed yourself and described the feelings of breast feeding your first child are so good.  I also tried desperately to breast feed my first child.  I tried for 6 weeks.  Mastitis, not enough milk, baby not suckling properly and also the fact that I was suffering from Pernicious Anemia (and didn’t know it) which has an effect of making you incredibly tired.  I was made to feel like a failure when my milk dried up completely.  Putting her on a bottle was in my top ten best things I ever did.  My second child was put onto a bottle straight away.  He is now 14, fit and healthy and not a sociopath.

pablo says:

10:25pm | 09/05/10

My wife tried really hard to breast feed our twins - she simply produced no milk despite massage, medication, expressing religiously every 3 hours etc.  She felt guilty and was crushed (mainly because of the condescending attitude of “lactation consultants”), but I was the one who told her not to worry.  We shared bottle feeding and now our boys are 3, healthy and happy.  Idiotic statements by individuals about “selfish” mothers are a dead giveaway that the person making the statement has no experience of what they are pontificating about.

Jodie says:

07:41am | 10/05/10

Lanii Douglas, that was very well said!  I have three kids and breastfed them all but the youngest one was breastfed for the longest time because I was more confident and relaxed as a mother ... my middle child was only breastfed for 4 months and that was because she had a health problem that went undiagnosed for that long, so she was looking for food all the time (for comfort) - at the end of 4 months I was utterly exhausted and suffering PND so I had to turn to bottles for her.  It broke my heart (and shouldn’t have, really, but the pressure to breastfeed IS intense), and it was the best decision for us in the end.  I got my energy back and my husband was able to take a lot of the workload for me.  I also got to know my 2 year old again, who had been mostly palmed off on to grandparents because we were so busy dealing with this “difficult” baby!  My daughter now has the most wonderful relationship with her dad, and I’m sure that goes back to him becoming her main carer when I needed him to. 

I do think the pressure to breastfeed is too much to bear for some mums - the idea that “successful” women (what is that anyway…a woman in paid employment?  How is that any more successful than any other mum???) have more success with breastfeeding probably has more to do with them having more self-confidence to start with.  It’s all about attitude and doing what’s right for you.

Heather says:

09:13am | 10/05/10

I am a"lower socio-economic mother” who breastfed my 6 children (now aged 8 to 20) for 11-18 months. I actually found that it was overwhelmingly women who looked down on breastfeeding in public—and it wasn’t because men were “ogling”. The overwhelming majority of men who bothered to notice and “look” had the “awwww innit that cute” look not the leery look.

We underestimate men. Really.

90% of “loud passerby remarks” about how disgusting or inappropriate I was (and I wasn’t immodest) came from women (strangers, usually).

I’ll be lambasted for this comment, but: have also been a breastfeeding counsellor and home birth advocate (and I’m not even a hippy ) and while mothers do have honest difficulties with breastfeeding, in my experience the overwhelming underlying reason for finally giving it up is,like it or not, the “I don’t really wanna continue” attitude, although it is cloaked in other reasons.

Motherof2 and Ellie: the best reason for mothers to be the SAH is breastfeeding, and only breastfeeding. If you’re bfing full time and working,you will be exhausted. Absolutely exhausted. SAH mums can “fit” in better with baby rhythms in the first 6-11months. However after that, a SAH dad can be as “good” as a SAH mum.

Court says:

08:36pm | 16/05/10

No kids? Never Breastfed? No comment….

Linda says:

07:58am | 19/04/11

Lanii Douglas you are an idiot. breastfeeding causes intelligent liberal voters???? wtf is that supposed to mean??? where the hell do you get your retarded ideas from? im breastfeeding my dauhgter and if she turns into a selfish liberal voter because I breastfed her then ill slap it out of her. soooo typical of someone who calls breatsfeeding supporters ‘breastfeeding nazis’ to have such a rediculous view on life. now bugger off back to your right wing lifestyle and support your stupid political ideals that have led to Australia’s demise so many times. tory voting mole.

Macca says:

01:13pm | 07/05/10

I’m with you Daniel, if a women wishes to feed her child in public than so be it. I’m allowed to eat in public, why can’t the baby?

Luke says:

02:20pm | 07/05/10

I dont know what “men” decided it was disguisting! I mean… what’s disguisting about it? Its just a part of life…
Birth
Breastfed
School
Work
Marriage
Have Kids
Grow old
Die

Ajent says:

03:43pm | 07/05/10

Personally, I find that it is much more common for other women to be put off by public displays of breastfeeding than men. And in particular young professional women who aren’t even considering having children of their own yet.

lets face it - you dont see much boob when feeding baby anyway, and mothers very quickly learn how to feed without flashing the entire world. Its a natural, healthy and very important act which society should support. If breasts offend you then just dont look!!

Jode says:

09:16am | 08/05/10

I breastfeed my daughter for 20 months and stopped only as I was pregnant with our second. Funny that the only filthy looks and comments I got while discreetly feeding were from other women, never a man.

Belle says:

07:54pm | 09/05/10

I’m with both of you Jode & Ajent, I think women discriminate against other breastfeeding mothers more so than men.  In fact, while breastfeeding my 1st child at a restaurant (and he was covered with a muslin wrap over my shoulder), I was glared at by 2 elderly women.  At the end of their meal, they got up and had the audacity to come over to my table and tell me “it’s not natural to breastfeed in public. You shouldn’t leave the house to do that”.  I was absolutely dumbfounded, yet so furious, that I didn’t know what to say.  In hindsight, I think I knew what I wanted to say!!

I had a premmie 1st child, with whom I had many troubles getting him to stay awake for a feed let alone get proper attachment.  But I persisted - I was so determined to breastfeed for as long as I could.  Over the next 6 months, I battled mastitis 4x, nipple vasospasms, nipple infections, yet I still persisted and had adequate supply to feed my child AND still express for when I would wean him and for the days he was at childcare.  He ended up being breastfed for 10 months before I fell pregnant with my 2nd child.  My 2nd child is now 14 weeks old and very happily breastfed (despite me already battling mastitis once…so far…).  I can only encourage breastfeeding to other mothers, BUT I am not going be critical of mothers who bottle feed.  At the end of the day, every mother will do what’s best for their child AND themselves, and if it means they need a bit of sanity by sharing the feeding duties with their partner, I would completely understand.

Wake up says:

02:45pm | 07/05/10

Reply to Louisa, well dear some of us just can’t afford to stay home. Some of us have to go back to work so we can afford to look after their children. Obviously you are either childless or have a great sugar daddy!

Sam says:

03:28pm | 07/05/10

Wake up - Its got nothing to do with having a sugar daddy and everything to with planning ahead, which is what Louisa stated. If you cant plan ahead or afford to stay at home with your children, then maybe you shouldnt have any.

max says:

04:01pm | 07/05/10

My wife stayed home for almost 2 years to take care of our son. However, she only managed to breastfeed for 10 weeks max because there was no milk. We consulted lactation specialists and no results. Instead my wife started to feel depressed. Finally the last lactation specialist we saw said it’s ok no to be able to breastfeed. So long we give full love and attention to our son it’s all be allright. So to us it’s not a choice.

Amanda says:

04:55pm | 07/05/10

That would be ideal, however, I earn more then my partner, so I am going back to work and leaving my daughter with her father.  Which means that as I want to keep breastfeeding I need to express.  I do feel that it is a huge burden, for the past 5 months I have not been able to be away from my daughter for more than 3 hours, because she won’t take expressed milk from a bottle, and we are desperately trying to get her to take it now so I can go back to work.  I don’t think we should discount the burden placed on exclusively breastfeeding mothers but at the same time, it is so worth it.

jessica says:

09:10am | 08/05/10

reply to amanda- I am in the same situation as you, my husband had to bottle feed my daughter expressed milk the week before I returned to work to ensure she would be alright. There was a lot of struggling and screaming and he came and implored me to feed her but I made him persist. more screaming, then dead silence for two minutes and he emerged with an empty bottle and a big grinning baby. they just have to be really hungry that first time. Now I express at work for her in my office. I just shut the door and off I go. Best of luck !

Heidi says:

02:19pm | 07/05/10

Did you not read the article? It acknowledges that some mothers and babies can’t breastfeed for medical reasons - your nephew obviously falls into this category. And of course no one is suggesting that all bottlefed babies will be dumb and obese, just like not everyone who smokes will die of lung cancer. But if we know that breastfeeding reduces the risks of being obese, and there is no medical reason why breastfeeding is not possible, then why would you not do it, to make sure your baby has the best possible start in life? Yes it can be inconvenient, yes it can be painful, yes it can be very difficult to get it right (I have breastfeed 2 children, 1 for 12 months and still going with my 8 month old). But CHOOSING not to breastfeed is not just lazy, as far as I’m concerned it’s selfish.

Billy Y says:

02:31pm | 07/05/10

It is called statistics and he is an outlier.

MD says:

04:29pm | 07/05/10

sorry, article was too long couldn’t get through it all with changing screens, that’ll teach me not to read through the entire thing lol

I fully intent to breast feed, my sister couldn’t with either her kids (I didn’t mention the other one not coz she’s dumb but she’s not old enough to test yet) so barring any cleft palate or no milk I will be doing it natural, not to mention it will save money not having to buy formula, I am also going to attempt cloth nappies

Grumbles says:

04:59pm | 07/05/10

The article refers to adult obesity, at 7 your nephew does not apply. Further the article clearly states bottle feeding expressed milk is just as good, which probably happened in this situation given that the mum would be in pain if she didn’t express everyday.

OddCreature says:

07:35pm | 30/05/10

I was an “outlier”. I couldn’t breastfeed, due to a medical condition. I didn’t choose to feed my baby formula, I had to or she would have starved to death. But it’s irrelevant. I don’t view myself as any different to a woman who “chooses” to bottlefeed, because it’s not always “selfish”.

Yes when you become a mother the child should be your first priority. But there are times when your own interest NEED to come before your childs, that’s the harsh reality of life. I know plenty of mums with valid reasons why they had to give up breastfeeding - their medications effected their milk, their supply was low, breastfeeding was contributing towards PND, and yes, needing to return to work (sorry to burst a few bubbles, but when a pregnancy is a surprise it leaves you little time to “plan ahead”, and very few people I know would consider aborting so that they could have more time to plan).

So yes, the mums put their needs first, and yes that’s a bit “selfish”. But a mum with PND could potentially commit suicide. By putting her own needs first for a moment, she could well be ensuring she is around while the child grows up, so in fact it’s the best thing for them both…..

I’ll let you all ponder that for a while….

Elphaba says:

01:57pm | 07/05/10

Well said Kylie.  Yelling and frothing at the mouth is not going to help the situation.  It’s all very well and good to advise people about which is the best road medically and scientifically, but as we’ve all seen with the anit-vax debate, it’s not going to trump gut feeling.

Mothers should do what they think is best for them and their child.  Choice. It’s a lovely thing, isn’t it?

Michellemac says:

02:42pm | 07/05/10

Kylie, wise words. I am in exactly the same boat as you. I was lucky enough to find it easy and convinient and did it for just over 12 months with both my kids and I did sometimes use formula towards the end.

But I have a number of friends who struggled with pain, latching issues, babies not gaining weight etc etc etc and then made to feel really bloody guilty when they turn to bottle feeding their kids, worried about the ‘damage’ they might be doing or how they have somehow failed being a woman and/or mother because they couldn’t do it right.  And now, 6 years down the track when our kids are running around together it’s certainly not apparent which ones were breastfed or how long they were breastfed for!

asdfsdf says:

03:20pm | 07/05/10

That is the best piece of writing on this topic I have read so far. Well said Kylie..

Sheree P says:

04:07pm | 07/05/10

Beautifully put - your comments are my thoughts exactly.  I was lucky, yes lucky, enough to breastfeed my 3 children and stopped when they were each 7-8 months old due to them eating solids and me going back to work (I did not have time to express, which is not pleasant, at work due to the amount of customers entering the waste station I was at).  And no, it was not financially viable for me to stay at home when I earnt the better wage, so my husband cared for our children whilst I was at work.  A number of my friends & family have struggled to breastfeed & have been put down and made feel worthless by doctors, nurses, midwives and other mothers.  Sorry but breast may be excellent for children but as far as I’m concerned, so long your baby/child is healthy, growing and putting on weight, then bottle or breast, is really doesn’t matter.  All mothers should be supported regardless of whether they bottle or breast feed. 

Oh & just wanted to say a big thank you to all the dads out there who do a lot of work helping out with bottle feeding, caring for babies, changing nappies & supporting their wives/girlfriends in general - there are many men out there that do not get given their deserved praise, so Thank You.

steph says:

09:59pm | 07/05/10

Absolutely the voice of reason…  Just because one thing is deemed better than the other, does not mean the other choice is a bad choice.  We live in an age where formula is highly researched and high quality, and yes, we all know it is not as good as breast milk, but before judging, remember that every situation is different.  Most level headed mums know this - by far the majority do what is best for them, their baby, their family as a whole, many factors go into making the decision as to whether or not to breastfeed, and for how long.

jasmine says:

05:53am | 08/05/10

Very true and well said Kylie.
What works for you and your child.
I breastfed, and would do it again.
I did not have more than half an hour away from my child for her first 6months of life. 
In the grand scheme of things this is short term for long term benefit.  I also found myself happy and relaxed while doing it - you do learn quickly how your breasts work and how clever you really are from making a baby to feeding and keeping it alive : )

Steph says:

10:19am | 08/05/10

Well said Kylie - I definitely agree. And a few other respondents have stated that they had problems with latching, sore nipples etc. But the point is that they tried, whilst many other mothers dont even bother!

Vanessa says:

10:45am | 08/05/10

No one can make you feel guilty.  The times I have guilty is because I knew I wasn’t doing my best and putting my wants before others.  Mastitis and cracked nipples suck, but we can get over it.  The problem is that society has made formula an equal choice to breastfeeding, and it’s simply not.  It’s an inferior product and if more women fully understood that they would push through pain and discomfort.  A recent study in the US concluded over 900 infant lives could be saved in the US each year by breastfeeding.  Motherhood is hard sometimes, but we don’t give up, the same should apply with breastfeeding.

Teena says:

11:26am | 08/05/10

Kylie, from all the mums out there who tried and struggled and reluctantly had to switch to formula - THANK YOU!

Glen says:

01:17pm | 07/05/10

You’ve come across Rita’s work before I see

rugrat says:

09:15pm | 08/05/10

I am always intensely curious as to whether these ‘social commentators’ actually believe the crap they spout, or if they just say whatever is going to cause the most reaction, without real thought as to whether what they are saying is true or not.

Bec says:

03:30pm | 07/05/10

Love your work ej, so, so true

mum of 2 says:

07:42pm | 09/05/10

So true. I am so over these pointless blogs…....please come up with somthing a little more interesting to talk about….we all do our best for our children…end of story…

Judy says:

07:14pm | 07/05/10

24 hours after giving birth? Gee, you were lucky. It was FOUR hours where I had my babies (even for a first baby). Mind you, this is the same hospital that was so under-resourced that I was told to deliver my second baby at home because they were full up in the delivery room (plus the first aid room, plus the waiting room, plus the hallway…) and had no midwives or equipment left!

Cheers,

Your name:Nurse/Naturopath says:

02:54pm | 08/05/10

It IS an instinctive process; it’s just that some mothers do not have that instinct or have lost touch with their bodies. As a former maternity nurse and now a naturopath working with fertility, I am constantly reminded of this. So many women don’t even know their own bodies! Pregnant women still declare breastfeeding is dirty. In the 60s my mum expressed for many premmy babies - she had no car and had 3 small kids of her own, was also working part time AND still did it. Our lives are very different from those days and yes, it is up to each of us to plan around our babies rather than as I hear all too often “It wont change my life. My kids are going to have to fit around me.” I don’t judge anyone on their ‘choices’ but facts are facts. All the ENT kids I get into my clinic, all the kids in my own childrens’ classes with grommets and asthma, all the kids who seem to continually bring lurgies to expose the rest of the kids (no, it’s not their faults) were all bottle fed babies. Anyone thinking it is easier to bottle feed than breast feed is misguided. Breastfeeding is simple, and for anyone complaining about this being done in public (usually some judgmental older woman “We didn’t do that in our day.” “Maybe not, but you also put up with abusive husbands in your day.”
And despite all the ‘experts’ rabbiting on about what is evidence based, if you are having trouble breastfeeding, have been instructed by your health nurse on how to help your baby to latch on, go and see a naturopath. 100% success rate in over 20 years of practice (for nursing mothers with difficulties) would surely allow even blind Freddy to see that balancing the body and encouraging milk flow with safe herbs or homeopathics is a must? Although it is difficult to stimulate later on, if a pregnant woman takes the right supplements or tinctures, she will often have no problem with post partum issues. Food for thought…

Lisa says:

09:37pm | 27/05/10

I agree that breastfeeding is a learned skill, and that women are often discharged early, some with support some without.

what we need is more support available with easy access in the first 6 weeks after having a baby, as it takes this long to ‘establish’ BFing.

I don’t think we should label mothers who choose not to BF as being selfish, some will be that is true, but the majority just haven’t been given enough support to continue to BF.

i do think that women and society in general need to be fully informed of BF vs formula feeding, then and only then can a woman make an informed choice of one aspect of parenting, feeding there baby. yes BF offers more than a feed but giving a bottle fed baby cuddles every time they are fed etc can have similar benefits.

just want to say that no matter how you feed your baby there will be someone who has something to say, that is negative towards it. BF mums get ‘crap’ for BFing in public, and FFing mums get ‘crap’ for bottle feeding, lets just leave it be, but be there to provide support and help to those that want or need it

kel says:

11:10am | 18/10/11

People need to look for support if they want it. We are grown women and are capable of tracking down one of the many FREE resources in this Country… and if you don’t want to be kicked out of Hospital then maybe you should get health insurance instead of clogging up the already suffering health system…but i’m sure i will hear ALLLLLLL about how some people can’t afford it !!!!! well stop complaining about what you get for FREE !!!!!

Rhonda says:

02:04pm | 07/05/10

Brett, when you’ve breast fed a baby, then come back and talk.  A little daily sunshine and cold cabbage leaves?  Get stuffed.  Try breast feeding a baby when you have mastitis and your breast is the size of a basket ball and as solid as concrete.  Try exposing your nipples to a little daily sunshine when it’s the middle of winter.

Jane says:

02:38pm | 07/05/10

Rhonda I couldn’t agree more.

I’m assuming “Brett” that you are a male, I’m glad you know so muc about how a woman can toughen her nipples with sunshine which just so happens to be absolute rubbish.  I tried everything with both my children and neither of your tips helped whatsoever.

Bec says:

03:36pm | 07/05/10

Brett I haven’t laughed so hard in ages! - “Women can toughen their nipples with a little daily sunshine, and cold cabbage leaves usually helps with painful breastfeeding”. Oh how I wish it was that simple!

Lee says:

10:27pm | 07/05/10

Brett you have made my night. i am still laughing hilariously at your crazy comments. only because i know how untrue they are. mastitis is certainly not cured with cabbage leaves…..and when there is snow on the ground my boobs are certainly not going to be flashed in the vain hope of catching a little daily sunshine. good luck to you with your future breastfeeding attempts!

Brett L says:

07:52am | 08/05/10

Ladies, Ladies, go and read the Breast feeding Association website before you pass sexist comments.

Rhonda says:

11:48am | 08/05/10

Brett, even without reading the breast feeding association website, I can tell you from EXPERIENCE that neither of these things does anything to help when you have mastitis.
Suck it up cup cake.

Former Snag says:

01:43pm | 07/05/10

Your stay at home, house husband could bring the baby in to work on, off peak public transport, at lunch time for a midday feed, along with a healthy, inexpensive, brown bag lunch for you & maybe even massage your feet or shoulders while you are at it.

Baby would then, sated, fall asleep in his arms on the way home.

CSH says:

02:20pm | 07/05/10

I sympathise with cg: even if a mother wants to breast feed, it is not always possible or practical. I went back to work (30 km out of town) 1 week after an emergency caesarean as I was not entitled to maternity leave and also no Centrelink entitlements since I was not unemployed. I tried to breastfeed in the lab (no other facilities)and my husband brought my son out every lunchtime for the first 5 weeks. In between I used a dirty toilet to express a dwindling milk supply. At night my son fed every 2 hours. Then my husband had to go overseas again as his visa ran out. I managed to do the “right thing” by my son for 6 months by which time we’d sit together asleep in bed at night from sheer exhaustion. The first nightly formula feed gave both of us the first uninterrupted 4 hour sleep in months. My son has since birth been in the 90th percentile for weight gain and is a healthy , smart and athletic child of 12 now. I cannot say that this must be due to the breast feeding effort I made, but I do know that most mothers are not selfish and try to do as best as they can for their children. Every situation is different and I think mothers must decide what is best for theirs without the judgements and guilt that society burdens us with.

Fiona says:

09:35am | 08/05/10

CSH - Much of what you say rings true for me.

Bugga this ‘guilt’ business. Do what you have to do.

Pick the formula carefully and no cows milk before 12 mths or longer and you’re sweet. Well it worked for me.

What I would add is that NONE of my children (now 21-10 yrs of age)  have or had any allergies. (I ‘Only’ breastfed them between 3 weeks to 3 mths)

Dan the Man says:

02:20pm | 07/05/10

of course they should be. And so should men. just like you are probably paid for that 5 minute ciggie break you take a dozen times a day.

If you deter this sort of thing, the only people who will reproduce is the unemployed.

Zeta says:

02:22pm | 07/05/10

I smoke 20 cigarettes during work hours at an average of 5 minutes per smoke which adds up to 100 minutes each I day I spend outside, enjoying the sun, annoying non-smokers. Sometimes I take a call while smoking, or hold a meeting with anyone willing to put up with my habit - but more often than not, I don’t and enjoy my cigarette in peace. I could feed a baby and a half in the time I skive off from work smoking, and I bet a lot of other people do too.

Leo says:

02:37pm | 07/05/10

Eric, the point is to get babies breast-fed for longer. I guess when men can breast feed, then they can have time off to do so! This isn’t a matter of more rights for women and whether they are fair among the sexes, it is about babies being breastfed, nothing else!

Disgusted says:

04:48pm | 07/05/10

I agree 100% AdamC. Well said. “So one would think that unless you want your children to grow up fat and stupid you would heed the advice of medical professionals,” What? I have three children who I didn’t breastfeed, and I can tell you right now Missy, that none of them are ‘fat and stupid’. I would suggest that you remove yourself from that pedestal that you have put yourself on, stop being so judgemental of other women, and wake up.

Dani says:

11:13am | 08/05/10

Yes i agree.  Like the leap some people have made to thinking formula fed babies are ‘stupid?’ when in fact they probably performed one or two points lower which if high numbers might be statistically significant but not significant at all from a life perspective, in terms of life outcomes etc.  And as you point out could be from a host of other factors-like the fact that formula fed babies are more likely to be from lower socio-economic status- and besides these results would be on formula produced over 20 years ago- if we are looking at adult outcomes

MD says:

04:39pm | 07/05/10

bahahahaha but if the wedding gets interrupted for ‘Bitty’ that’s a little too far.

I love that show

Nicole says:

04:54pm | 07/05/10

Agreed, Ana. My mother didn’t breastfeed me (I’m not sure if she falls into the 2-4% of medical categories, she just said she never had enough milk and it was painful or something along those lines) but she has done everything else to be an incredibly supportive mother. And as someone who is 5’2, weighs under 50kg, and is doing a very difficult degree at a prestigious university, I wouldn’t classify myself as stupid nor fat.

Rita, your Punch profile says that you are ‘an uncompromising social commentator who is prepared to tell it like it is’. I hope you are ‘prepared to tell it like it is’ should you ever find yourself a new mother, unable to breastfeed - make sure you tell those kids of yours (in later life) how fat and stupid they are because of YOUR selfish choices. What a shameful article.

Markus says:

03:39pm | 07/05/10

I am yet to meet a male who is against/offended by breastfeeding in public, but have met a few females.
Funnily enough it’s your mother of all people against breastfeeding in public, who I assume breastfed you at some point.
Is it actually females who are leading the moral outrage against public breastfeeding?

mike j says:

09:45pm | 07/05/10

Predictable. You say that from the point of view of a professional whose client is the mother.

And I wonder how many statistics electives you took in your rote-learning undergraduate medical degree. It’s either completely ignorant, or deliberately fallacious, to propose that studies are invalid because they can’t control every possible variable.

I’m guessing completely ignorant, because you don’t even know what ‘infinite’ means.

Don’t give up your day job.

Juju says:

09:10pm | 08/05/10

‘moms’ ?

Brett L says:

07:56pm | 08/05/10

Those disapproving looks from women were more about envy than disapproving. Good on your partner for doing the right thing.

FiR says:

03:52pm | 07/05/10

I think you’ll find before formula babies were given cow’s milk, not exclusively breast fed. Breast feeding has gone in and out of fashion over the years and when I was born (1969) bottle feeding was the done thing.

M says:

10:14am | 08/05/10

also pollution and radiation in things like microwaves not to mention Chernobyl that had a hand in it, you can’t claim that not breastfeeding causes infant diseases

New mum says:

02:57pm | 07/05/10

Good on you Karen, I hope you have more success than I did. There is alot of pressure especially by hospital staff to breastfeed. I always stuck to my guns & never let the midwives or nurses tell me what was best for my baby. I bottlefed my son on breastmilk for 7 weeks until my milk dried up & the comments from some of the nurses really pissed me off. Especially when they tried to tell me I was trying hard enough. ALWAYS do whatever is best for YOU and YOUR BABY, NEVER let anyone put you down and make you feel like your doing your baby an injustice by not breastfeeding. Good luck with everything and I hope you have a wonderful healthy bub.

bridget says:

03:25pm | 07/05/10

Can’t agree more well said.

Cecilia says:

06:23pm | 09/05/10

Well said Karen & New Mum,

In an ideal world, we would all breastfeed but the reality is life isn’t ideal.  I too had these ideals but when when I was sobbing in pain, literally bleeding from my inverted nipples that my baby couldn’t latch onto and the thought of throwing myself under a bus was preferable to the agony of putting her on my nipples, my husband said enough was enough.  Then I was made to feel the worst person in the world.  How can putting yourself through absolute agony be deemed unselfish?  It’s called martydom.  I was older and wiser for my other two and put them on the bottle.  Guess what?  None of them are stupid, obese and they were all ridiculously heathly.

Motherhood is hard enough without judgemental comments like this writer’s.  If you can breastfeed, congratulations, I envy you.  If not, you’re not a bad mother.  We all love our babies, breastfed or not.  Best of luck, Karen.

Disgusted says:

02:48pm | 07/05/10

I agree Rebecca.
Another blow has been struck by the self-appointed breastfeeding gestapo.

I have a friend who was pushed to the brink of post-natal depression because of the pressure that was put on her to breastfeed by know-nothing know-it-alls (it’s not as if she wasn’t trying either). How does that benefit her baby?

Jane says:

03:54pm | 07/05/10

New Mum, you are still buying int the idea that breasts are somehow dirty objects connected to sex. Why should a breastfed baby have to “be fed discreatly” when a baby on the bottle can be fed anywhere, anytime?

If it’s a natural behaviour as you say, then why demand that it be hidden?

JM says:

10:25am | 08/05/10

not hidden jane just be discreet, you don’t have to go to a dark room but don’t whip it out in the middle of say a cafe, bottle feeding doesn’t include public nakedness, use a cloth nappies as a burp cloth and have it draped, or use a baby wrap or bunny rug to have over baby’s head. Have some consideration for people’s comfort level especially in a restaurant or cafe, not saying don’t do it, just a little thought to others. And before you say anything I have 3 kids all breastfed and when I was out I didn’t need to go to a dark corner just draped a wrap over my shoulder and covered baby’s head so they could feed and I didn’t make others uncomfortable.

Jez says:

02:14pm | 08/05/10

Do you bottle feed discreetly?  If not, why should a breastfeeder?  Personally I’m more offended by a plastic, artificial nipple in a baby’s mouth than a breast.

Jason01 says:

04:42am | 09/05/10

What on earth are you talking about? I never heard of a man complaining about a woman breastfeeding her child in public, although I have heard a lot of b*tchy comments from women. My wife breastfed our son whenever he needed feeding - but she was discreet. I think you have the problem here.

JM says:

01:14pm | 10/05/10

again Jez, bottle feeding doesn’t include exposed bits, you don’t need to be discrete when bottle feeding as there is no body part exposed, think of other people’s comfort not wanting to see your saggy bits hanging out in a cafe or restaurant or walking in a supermarket

Kylie says:

08:13pm | 08/05/10

Women are not all critical of each other Nathan. I think you will find a lot of supportive comments from women on this thread.
Many women give and receive amazing support to each other.

Jonathan says:

04:38pm | 07/05/10

I agree. I’m so sick of the guilt placed on mothers who choose not to breastfeed.  Mothers have a difficult enough time as it is, without being hounded by the breast-feeding lobby that they obviously are being selfish if they choose not to breast feed.  Are parents who send their children to lower ranking schools equally selfish for not living in better suburbs?  You would think it was child abuse not to breastfeed the way some dogmatic people go on about it…

Lyn says:

05:07pm | 07/05/10

I agree, but I think they are talking about places with built in creches or expressing when not possible, but more to the point why shouldn’t all the male workers, or the women who choose not to have babies get the same break?  There seems to be double standards developing here. This is OK while its only public servants - its only wasting our tax dollars (which would be wasted one way or another anyway) but out in the real world, this is the sort of thing that would make employing a young woman less appealing and less cost effective that the male counterpart, something that small businesses can’t afford.

JO says:

05:27pm | 07/05/10

They’re not talking about having kids in the workplace. Simply setting up a room for workers to express milk.

anne says:

10:32pm | 07/05/10

I completely agree with Mum of 2 and everyone else who sees this article for what it is! I can’t believe people are arguing over this LAZY, good-for-nothing, unresearched nonsense. She obviously hasn’t spoken to a midwife or lactation consultant, or even a breast-feeding mum, and if breast-feeding is “covered at length” in ante-natal classes this would be news to most actual attendees. That’s part of the problem - women aren’t told about the problems initiating breast-feeding in case it “puts them off” . Instead they are told (often by young educators who haven’t had children) that anyone can, and “its easy”. Many mums like myself found it worth persevering but damned hard work to establish. It IS a learned response for both mum and baby. If women were alerted to this they’d be more prepared for any problems.

Lauren says:

10:20pm | 07/05/10

Don’t be silly. A woman can’t make a baby feed to get attention if it isn’t hungry- it’ll just get fussy and wonder why a boob is being shoved in it’s face. Her baby was hungry, and trust me, when your baby is hungry, you don’t think about getting attention, you just want to grab it and feed it!

Peter says:

09:44am | 10/05/10

On TV Lauren? What’s a baby of breast feeding age doing in the work place to begin with? She knew it would get hungry.. It was for attention and it was planned.. It just demeaned the act of breast feeding.. If she walked a couple of metres off the camera to do it (and even if the camera showed her doing it for a few seconds), she would have gained more respect. She used her baby and breastfeeding for some attention… I haven’t seen other female TV personalities with a desperate need to breast feed on TV.. Kate so far has been the only one in the world..

Corben says:

07:26am | 10/05/10

OMG not a bare breast…how disgusting!
It’s not like you don’t see barely covered breasts everywhere anyway…much rather see them comfort a child (whatever their age) than be used to sell lads mags.

Emma says:

09:17pm | 07/05/10

You call yourself better informed and educated? You actually made me laught out loud with your ignorance and head in the sand attitude. If you want to give your kids formula instead of what nature intended then fine, they are your kids but please don’t delude yourself in to thinking you are doing the best for them.

Also before calling someone who is actually informed an idiot perhaps you should do a bit of research. You would find that there are hundreds of scientific studies in the benefits of breastfeeding. Breastfed babies do actually record higher IQs and are less likely to be fat…FACT. That doesn’t mean every formula baby will be fat but they are more likely to be.

If you were better informed you would know that women who are older and highly educated are far more likely to breast feed than every other group.

Lauren says:

10:29pm | 07/05/10

Riiiight. Do you know what else Sweden has? A really high home-birth rate and a midwifery system that supports natural birth. If a woman has a natural, drug-free birth, the baby and mother are ready to begin breastfeeding almost straight after the baby comes out, and everything goes remarkably better. For the breastfeeding relationship, the first hour is VERY important. If the mother or baby is drugged, latching is hard, sucking is probably poor and the mother is probably traumatised or tired instead of floating on some awesome post-birth endorphins and other hormones. I’ve had two births- one all drugged with a baby that took 4 months to learn to breastfeed properly, cracked nipples, mastitis several times, thrush etc etc and one drug-free that had the baby latched on, pain-free from the get-go and NO complications since. Women need to know that their birth experience affects the breastfeeding relationship. And no, judgement for something that is inflicted upon women by a poor maternity system, lack of support and lack of information is NOT needed.

Amy says:

09:18pm | 07/05/10

Suzie your awesome and I couldn’t agree with you more! I have four children, all of whom I attempted to breast feed but to no avail.  After seeing lactation consultants, local midwives and going to the early childhood clinic to ask what I was doing wrong I still had no answers.  My second child was six weeks premature so in this case I tried everything - I began to feel very depressed.  It wasn’t until I had my fourth baby that I met a head lactation consultant who had been doing studies on various breast conditions - I was diagnosed with a breast condition that would never allow me to breast feed my babies properly.  This condition occurs in 2% of women and after seeing so many different people it was a relief to know that I wasn’t a complete failure, which is how a lot of nursing/medical staff make you feel if you do not breast feed.  In my case and I’m sure in the case of many others it’s not about “Breast is Best” - it’s about “Best is Best”.  What’s best for mum and bub!

Your name: Just me. says:

04:12am | 10/05/10

I suppose you would prefer for NSW tax payers to foot the bill for more children’s hospitals?

Danielle says:

09:58pm | 11/05/10

You poor thing. It was two years ago and I had a similar response.

You will feel better in time, the super human effort you have put in is remarkable. I did the same things, supply lines, lactaction consultants, medication, teas, water, almonds, expressing - I just never made enough and the stupid breastfeeding nazis had me so duped that I let my 3month old drop to just under 5pounds (born 6pounds) before I realised starving my child to death was very stupid for an educated woman and started topping up with formula. I comp fed til she was 18 months old and there was not a drop left in me.

The grief and loss eases and is usually replaced with anger at the breastfeeding nazis.

oh please says:

02:49pm | 08/05/10

ahahah what? I very much doubt it!  I believe breast feeding mothers look after their childs nutritional needs more than bottle feeding mothers. Breastfeeding can be hard and many who persist have done it through pain and inconvenience for the best of their child.  This reminds me of what I saw the other day at the shops, a bottle feeding mother filling up her babies bottle with pepsi! I doubt any breast feeding mum would ever do that.

Bon says:

03:39pm | 09/05/10

Wanna bet?  Breastfeeding mothers are no more likely to take care of their child’s nutrition after weaning than mums who bottlefed.

Lactivista says:

10:49am | 08/05/10

You were given bad advice and insufficient support.

My older daughter had jaundice and was under lights. She was given a few formula top ups and I expressed a couple of times until my milk came in. Ten mls of milk in half an hour is perfectly normal in a woman just establishing breastfeeding. In fact, many women who have brilliant supplies never get much while expressing. The amount you get from expressing has zero correlation with the amount of milk able to be extracted by a healthy baby.

Motilium (Domperidone) can be usd safely to increase your supply.

It sounds like you chose not to breastfeed to me.

Jen says:

02:40am | 12/05/10

To Lactivista:
“You were given bad advice and insufficient support….
“It sounds like you chose not to breastfeed to me.”

These two statements are inconsistent.  If you feel this young woman was given bad advice and insufficient support, then she could not have “chosen” not to breastfeed because she was never given a real choice.

This article is just an over-the-top, inflammatory piece of junk journalism that exists for no other reason than to get this author a lot of hits and comments.  Any real lactivist is actually concerned with supporting women who want to breastfeed and removing the barriers that get in her way - not tearing down the women who, for whatever reason, don’t breastfeed.

Breast is Best says:

11:25am | 08/05/10

Catherine I find your diatribe completely over the top. At the end of the day it is about choice and no matter how difficult the choice it is still a choice.
As for this continued BS about support, support, support. I had a very traumatic break up during my first pregnancy and managed to breastfeed for 12 months despite cracked nipples and problems with latching on. I had no support. Of course it was much easier with my second child as I had support but I’m so sick of capable women making long winded excuses. We all have sob stories in our life, it is how we deal with them that matters most.

Catherine says:

01:40pm | 08/05/10

Yes, I am a capable woman. I don’t believe I just wrote a long “diatribe” or a “sob story”. Good on you for breastfeeding for as long as you did. Some women just can’t, end of story. And some women choose to stop because they have conflicting priorities and they need to make decisions that provide the greatest benefit for the family as a whole.

Yes, breast is best, but what I was arguing was that there are many priorities that need to be weighed up. The equation is not as simple as breastfeeding nazis like to believe. Many, many things contribute to a child’s IQ and life chances, not the least of which are genetics and the social environment in which they live.What is the point of continuing to breastfeed if you have to choose between either doing that or paying the mortgage? Where is the virtue in having the bank foreclose on the family home?  I’d rather be bottle fed in my family home in a safe part of town than breastfed in public housing in a place where crime and social problems are the norm. And I respect the right of EVERY parent to make whatever decisions they see fit when it comes to feeding babies, vaccination, religious orientation, schooling, financial planning and any other issues that are part and parcel of having children. All parents are doing the best they can to give their kids the best possible start to life, even those parents that you might believe are making the “wrong” choices.

Mothers are never going to make any real advances in improving the extent of their options and the qaulity of their lives while they’re at each others throats and throwing stones at each other. Mothers are just so damn judgmental of each other. It’s appalling, and it harms new mothers greatly to be be castigated for making decisions that others don’t agree with. It’s one of the reasons that so many new mothers become socially isolated and profoundly depressed. For the sake of new mothers around the country, these Mummy Wars need to stop.

Nes says:

02:02pm | 08/05/10

What rubbish!  Women don’t need rest, time and healthy food to breastfeed - yes that would be ideal but it is not necessary.  Do you think women in developing countries can afford to sit around all day?  And yet they manage to breastfeed.

Catherine says:

05:41pm | 08/05/10

Women in developing countries have extended families to assist them with older children and assist with housework. In Middle Eastern countries, custom dictates that new mothers spend at least the first couple of months lying in bed and breastfeeding while other women attend to the housework and the needs of the men and other children. Women in developing countries live completely different lifestyles, and their children have completely different life chances, to women and children who live in first world countries. Again, I’d rather be bottle fed in Australia than breastfed in Iran or Bangladesh.

The Australian Breastfeeding Association, and any midwife or lactation consultant, will tell you that breastfeeding women need rest, healthy food and support if they’re going to succeed. And not all women have access to those things. Perhaps that’s a large part of the reason why other commentators here have mentioned that the statistics show that women from less fortunate socioeconomic backgrounds are breastfeeding less than women who are more fortunate.

Again, I think mothers need to be less judgmental of each other. 86% of Australian women are, for one reason or another, failing to meet the WHO breastfeeding guidelines. I simply do not believe that 86% of childbearing Australian women are selfish. I do believe that their life circumstances or their physical or mental states have led them to choose not to breastfeed. The larger your family, the more people you have to consider when you make choices. That is why I said earlier that I don’t see the virtue in continuing to breastfeed if it means being unable to pay the mortgage. It’s easy enough to say, “Well, just relocate to cheaper digs” but you can’t live in an apartment if you have four children. Well, you can, but it would create more problems than it would solve.

And no, I’m not saying, “Poor bugger me”. I chose to have all four of my children. I chose to stop breastfeeding when each of them were six months old. It was more important to me to ensure the financial security of my family. We can’t afford not to prioritise that. Our third child was born with life-threatening medical problems and it is vital that we stay where we are, in our own home close to good hospitals. To do otherwise would be irresponsible. We knew prior to out son’s birth that he would have medical problems. We made the choice to accept him and love him as he was, and we have never regretted that choice. And we made the choice to have our fourth child subsequently. Yes, Breast is Best, we do all have “sob stories” in our lives and it is how we deal with them that matters most. ALL mothers are heroes, and we need to support each other.

Audrey says:

02:36pm | 08/05/10

Well said and done.

Corben says:

10:56am | 10/05/10

If you are serious, I think it is a fabulous idea…but could you imagine peoples’ reactions?  I have breastfed my niece on occasion but the reaction of the midwives was such that my sister in law began to feel uncomfortable with it!  So now I pump as it is more socially acceptable to feed a baby from a bottle.  Some people need to get over their body issues.
I wish it would be made easier for successful breastfeeders to donate their milk for others who are less successful…human milk for human babies is my mantra.

Jasmine says:

10:53am | 08/05/10

Natalie I had a very similar experience to you. Breastfeeding didn’t come naturally for me and it took months of hardwork but it was worth it. So many other mums I know give up as soon as they have one obstacle. So many excuses from bitter sounding mums on this comment board make sad reading.

Toni says:

11:16am | 08/05/10

Beautifully and simply put, Joanne.

Some of the angry mums on here need to have a look at their own choices rather than make excuses or attack everybody else.

anne says:

04:46pm | 08/05/10

Hmm, what you call excuses, looks to me like the exasperation of rational people to a piece of manipulative tripe. You didn’t notice that our fearless writer has hardly offered a single fact, or spoken with professionals in the area? Really? FYI I have breastfed after a rough start like many other mums and what I find sad is that some people do “holier than thou”  far better than empathy!

Janie says:

05:37pm | 08/05/10

I agree with you Jasmine, the article just states facts that are obviously too hard for easily defeated mum to hear.
Anne I would’ve thought the facts were pretty clear. Also this is an opinion piece so why would the writer speak to professionals when we know what the professionals all say- breast is best!  The stats are damning and I like the fact that this writer isn’t holding back and playing nice. Well done.

anne says:

10:33pm | 09/05/10

Yes, yes, breast is best - we all know that. The professional input would have been around ways to help women persevere and overcome problems - because the author obviously hasn’t a clue. And her facts are wrong - breastfeeding isn’t “covered at length in ante-natal classes” . If she’d been to any she’d know this. But fine, don’t “play nice” - whatever rocks your boat. Just don’t expect to be doing anything remotely constructive, like, increasing breastfeeding rates for example.

Bon says:

03:23pm | 09/05/10

Actually, Dan, breastmilk or formula needs to be the primary source of nutrition for babies until they are 12 months old (and according to the WHO, babies should be breastfed until 2 years of age as an ideal).  Yes, they eat solids before then but until 1 year of age breastmilk or formula is still the most important source of nutrition for them.  After that, cows milk is ok to drink so formula is not really necessary and it is those toddler formulas (for kids aged 1-3) that are a big marketing con.  But no child health nurse/paediatrician would recommend a parent stop breastfeeding or formula at 6 months of age.

Corben says:

05:38pm | 10/05/10

Teeth?  Just another excuse…
My son is 3 years old and amazingly has teeth and eats solids…yes solid food, but still loves mummy’s milk and would choose my milk over any sweet treat you would try to tempt him with. 
Bon is right, milk - what ever its form- is the primary source of nutrition for a child up to a year old.

Dan says:

08:05pm | 10/05/10

Thanks for the info Bon, but all three of our kids started refusing the breast at around 6 months, which is the same time they started getting teeth and enjoying mushed solids.  I guess every kid is different.
@Corben, as for teeth being just an excuse… well, I’d let you discuss that with my wife but you wouldn’t get very far.  Pretty nasty actually, but at least now I know what I’d do if I were in jail and some tough guy tried to force me do do him a ‘favour’.
I have seen one case where the kid would walk up to the mum every ten minutes or so, politely ask for some milk, have a couple of sucks and then go back to playing.  Now that’s creepy!  Yes, I do realise that me finding that creepy is my problem and there’s nothing at all wrong with a two and a half year old doing that (apparently??).  But still, it IS creepy!

Corben says:

08:21pm | 11/05/10

Teeth is an excuse some people I know have trotted out so they can stop breastfeeding at 6 months.  There is a difference Dan, between a child choosing to stop because they feel satisfied with solids and a mom making a child stop because she wants to. So don’t feel so attacked Dan, the article is about women being selfish which your wife wasn’t as your children chose to stop at months.  AND I hope you never have to bite the nipples of that tough guy in prison…he might like it! 
I, personally, have never understood the 6 month ‘I’ve done my duty’ benchmark.  Obviously you’ve done bloody well to get over the cracked nipples, sore boobs, difficult stage of breastfeeding then stop…I don’t get it.
The case of the 2 year old wanting boobie every ten minutes being creepy…yes it is your problem unless you think this child is perverted?  Seems like normal 2 year old pushing the boundry behaviour to me.

Belle says:

10:22pm | 08/05/10

Get a life SB and leave strangers alone.  Neither you nor Rita have a clue about why people don’t breast feed.  Mothers who give their babies formula do so for a variety of personal reasons and yes, they are tired of being judged by narrow-minded fools.

Breast-fed baby says:

07:39pm | 08/05/10

Jane said “I would suggest that possible reasons why women of higher incomes breast feed more (according to the author) is because they get more time off through better access to paid parental leave,”

This is another weak excuse from the taxpayer-funded-cash-handouts for baby-makers’ lobby, There is no hard evidence that paid parental leave guarentees breast feeding. Even the Productivity Commission’s report in the government-funded paid parental leave scheme observed that mothers ceased breast feeding because the supply dried up and not because they were back in the workplace. Even this forum seems to offer a myriad of explanations as to why mothers choose not to breastfeed and it seems a lack of cash handouts has very little to do with it.

“However, she only managed to breastfeed for 10 weeks max because there was no milk”

” I didn’t like breastfeeding.  Hated it.”

“For example I had nipples that bled so badly I had scabs in my bra”

“my wife also got a nipple infection (on both) meaning she couldn’t feed without being in agonising pain. “

“Why don’t women breastfeed longer than six months?  One word:
TEETH.”

” managed to breastfeed all of my children, but never for longer than six months”

I have no issue with mothers breastfeeding in public. It keeps their kids quiet. (Mind you, soggy breast milk tissues left behind on cafe tables is more than unpleasant, it is a health hazard—HIV viruses anyone?)

But I do find it repellant that this debate is just a another misappropriated feeble excuse to give unaccountable wads of taxpayers’ money to the sort of parents who refuse to adjust their lifestyle and conspicuous consumption when they birth.

Carlie says:

08:50pm | 09/05/10

So much irrational vitriol Jenny sounds like you have a guilty conscience. Underpriviledged babies in this country are the least likely to be breastfed because of their idiot mums. What can Rita do about that, turn in to a full time wet nurse lol? With all the support mums have now there is no excuse not to breastfeed but I’m sure you will come up with 101 reasons.

Carlie says:

08:51pm | 09/05/10

So much irrational vitriol Jenny sounds like you have a guilty conscience. Underpriviledged babies in this country are the least likely to be breastfed because of their idiot mums. What can Rita do about that, turn in to a full time wet nurse lol? With all the support mums have now there is no excuse not to breastfeed but I’m sure you will come up with 101 reasons.

Old bag says:

10:31am | 10/05/10

I worked full time and breastfed for two years. We don’t even live in a tent.

Babies cause sleep deprivation regardless of the mode of feeding. And fathers can bond with their babies without having to shove crap in a can down their throats.

JK says:

09:15am | 10/05/10

I’m sorry but you are very wrong. The WHO guidelines has nothing to do with third world countries or western countries. All the research including the latest shows that exclusively breastfeeding for 6 months is best for child. Some children who are bigger than average start wanting solids a little sooner than 8 months and that is fine but that doesn’t mean introduction of formula.

Stephanie says:

11:55am | 10/05/10

Who said anything about formula? 

Here is the research I am referring to:

“Complementary Feeding: A Commentary by the ESPGHAN
Committee on Nutrition”

Journal of Pediatric Gastroenterology and Nutrition
46:99–110 #
2008
European Society for Pediatric Gastroenterology, Hepatology, and Nutrition and North American Society for Pediatric Gastroenterology, Hepatology, and Nutrition

Abstract:
This position paper on complementary feeding summarizes
evidence for health effects of complementary foods. It focuses
on healthy infants in Europe. After reviewing current knowledge
and practices, we have formulated these conclusions:
Exclusive or full breast-feeding for about 6 months is a desirable
goal. Complementary feeding (ie, solid foods and liquids
other than breast milk or infant formula and follow-on formula)
should not be introduced before 17 weeks and not later than
26 weeks.

sha says:

08:20pm | 10/05/10

I reiterate..I feel no guilt in feeding my children in any way i see fit.

Stella says:

09:46pm | 11/05/10

Clearly your midwide sister is one of the Completely Unsympathetic Nipple Nazi Trolls that I encountered in hospital. I find it distasteful and a little disturbing that she prints up Rita’s tripe and takes it to work. I suggest your sister moves to an occupation where she actually does some good, rather than finding mirth in other people’s distress. So much for nursing being an occupation ‘caring’ for others.
I feel absolutely no guilt at putting my baby on formula. It was either that or starve her to death because my milk never came in. Thank Goodness I listened to the lactation consultant who finally advised me to put my baby on formula rather than persist in trying to starve a newborn baby to death at the encouragement of midwives.

Sam says:

12:39am | 11/05/10

What a load of rubbish Danu. The support for breastfeeding in this country is enormous. It is everywhere and it is free and mums are encouraged to take advantage of it. That hasn’t solved the problem because the sad truth is that mums give up too easily. The article mentions Norway and Iran and I googled both countries and guess what they have breastfeeding rates of 75 and 90%! All the pathetic excuses dont change the fact that we have mums refusing to breastfeed despite all the support services and encouragement.
Articles like this are brilliant in stirring up some debate and exposing some harsh facts that we’d rather ignore. This continual rubbish about more support is not going to solve this problem, the support is there and it’s being ignored.

Therese says:

08:07am | 10/05/10

I’m so glad you’re a better mum than I am because of your natural birth.
Of course, if I’d had a natural birth I’d be dead but let’s not worry about that. I obviously shouldn’t have been given the “choice” to live.

JK says:

09:23am | 10/05/10

Well done Maggie I agree with you and congratulate you on perservering when most would’ve quit. Everyone likes to think that a mum would do anything to give their child the best start in life, it’s good to see that is true for you.

Fiona says:

09:52am | 10/05/10

So I guess you’d like to see a lot of motherless babies then would you? Make all women go through natural birth just to satisfy holier-than-thou people like yourself? Perhaps we could take it further and stop interfering with nature and let all babies die that would otherwise need intervention. Perhaps we could put all disabled or premi babies in a bucket of water like an unwanted kitten. Next time you submit a comment Maggie could you please also include your medical qualifications as you are obviously an expert on everything maternal .... Wow, to be you. So bloody perfect.

Bon says:

10:02am | 10/05/10

Oh yes please, lets start a debate about natural birth.  Just to add fuel to the fire.  Natural birth, by definition, does not just mean birthing vaginally.  It means birthing vaginally without drugs, without syntocinon infusions, without any intervention of any kind.  A birth such as that is virtually impossible to achieve in this country with the maternal health system set up the way it is.  The only way to truly achieve it is to home birth, and that has just been virtually outlawed by the government in conjunction with doctors.  As for women “choosing” to have caesarians, well as long as there are OBs willing to perform them for no medical reason, the practice will continue. The rise in “elective” caesarians has been driven by the medical profession, not by women.

sha says:

09:26pm | 10/05/10

My first daughter would be dead if I didn’t have a ceasarian…she is now a healthy beautiful 16 year old with a new boyfriend and doing her HSC. Shame on you.Shame,shame and shame.Who are you anyway?Pathetic.

JK says:

09:12am | 10/05/10

Your experience is perfect example of the high failure rate. You gave up at the first hurdle and called a breastfeeding hotline but instead of taking their advice you say you wanted them to tell you that formula was good and you should start feeding them formula. You do realise you called a breastfeeding hotline and not the marketing dept of S26?
You brag about not getting out of your dressing gown till 1pm every day but you couldn’t be bothered perservering with something as important as breastfeeding. The attitude of some mums just amazes me but I guess that is why we have delinquents running around at every shopping centre and city centre.

Emma says:

06:07pm | 17/05/10

Sorry you had that experience with the breastfeeding counsellor, that sounds enough to shake the confidence of any new mum! Sounds like you were pretty determined to do the best you could for for your bub, hence you reached out for support.

I assume you are talking about the Australian Breastfeeding Association helpline (previously Nursing Mothers’). Now the helpline is national and all breasfeeding counsellors have around 500 hours training. Although they are all mum volunteers, they are bound by a Code of Ethics. I would encourage anyone who has an experience like this with any support service to report it to the organisation’s head office, if they feel up to it, so that other mums don’t need to have this experience..

thewiseremma says:

08:29pm | 27/10/10

Emma, don’t you think this is a bit unreasonable?
“Learn to live with it or change your behaviour”
Just as you have the freedom to make harsh statements like that, new mothers should be given the freedom and ARE given the freedom to make a decision about whether they will breastfeed or bottle feed. It is people like you who make them feel guilty and make their decision and experience as a new mother so stressful and difficult.
I am not going to be biased and say i am fully for bottle feeding, because obviously nothing is as good as the real stuff, but if a woman is educated about the “harms” of bottle feeding and still decides to bottle feed why should she be judged on that decision!? If she is able to provide the same amount of love and care to her child, why should she change her behaviour? In 20 years time will you be able to identify who was bottle fed and who was breast fed? I highly doubt it. I know I was not breastfed and I’m pretty sure I turned out fine - not obese and fairly intelligent.
“Learn to live with it” is very easy for you to say, but taking on the role of a new mother would be hard enough. i dont think they need to be criticized on how to behave.
All this debate on breastfeeding vs bottle feeding is becoming ridiculous. it’s a free world, Let them make their own decisions - if it’s not your child then why should it bother you?

Carlos says:

02:32pm | 10/05/10

You should be applauded for your commitment. If other mums showed your level of commitment then our breastfeeding rate wouldn’t be so pathetically low.

Well done to the author too for shining a light on this issue with the honesty it requires.

Lanii Douglas says:

03:03am | 11/05/10

Carlos, I do not want to be applauded for my commitment!  My commitment was mainly due to the guilt being piled onto me by nipplenazi propagander. 
Sha, Cathy and Jacs-good on you for trying.  Bravo to you for switching to formula when you realised things weren’t working as they should. 
I honestly feel more guilty now (24 years later) for continuing to breast feed when it clearly wasn’t working and being a tired, stressed mummy.  The alternative to formula feed now seems like such a good idea.  The baby could even have stayed with a loving friend or relative for a night while I got much needed rest. 
I do not feel like a hero for breast feeding, I don’t think I have ever been high and mighty about it.  Some of the nipple nazis writing opinions here seem to think they are so wonderful because they breast fed.  Well good on you, we should all genuflect and kiss your ring.  Why does the act of breastfeeding make one a better mother than another who is not?
Feeding is Best-I applaud you for admitting you hated it, I am fairly certain other women hated it too.  A friend of mine tried in hospital and decided against breast feeding because she too hated it. 
Sha, my daughter in law is about to give me my first grandchild, and while yes, breast is best and I will do all I can to encourage and help her breast feed, if she cant, or doesn’t want to I will support her in that way too. 
I sincerely believe no mother makes the decision to bottle feed lightly.
As I said earlier, it is important that the baby is fed. 
something else I noticed is the people with the loudest voices here do not even support their own convictions by using their full names.

Danu says:

08:23pm | 11/05/10

Over ignorant fool, I think I love you.

Jane says:

10:00am | 12/05/10

Over ignorant fools your name is rather ironic judging by the drivel in your post. You are so full of excuses you were always going to fail at breastfeeding. You are one angry unit too. Perhaps if you stopped blaming the world for your problems then you would do better in life. I feel sad for you and your attitude.

Over ignorant fools says:

10:30pm | 16/05/10

Actually Jane, I’m a fella. My sister committed suicide as a result of PND. We think one of the reasons was her inability to breastfeed and the subsequent guilt and anxiety. I dare say it was people like you who piled the guilt on her as a result of her ‘failure’. We do know that one of the midwives in the hospital told her she wasn’t thinking of her baby and ‘not trying hard enough’ when she said she was having problems feeding. Unfortunately it all went downhill from there.
It is the Breast Nazis like you Jane that I feel sorry for. You put your own beliefs and principles over the welfare and wellbeing of the mother, and in the case of my sister, ultimately the baby.

firsttimemum says:

05:42pm | 17/05/10

Actually, the pump and dump advice is now outdated. Science moves so quickly, doesn’t it? It’s not advised to drink whilst breastfeeding, however the alcohol in your milk equals the alcohol in your bloodstream (regardless whether you pump and dump) so if you have one standard drink, for most women the alcohol content in their milk will be gone after an hour. That should save you some time and some pumping!