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Biggest moments of 2011 #19 Pippa’s arse steals the show

Bec Smith

by Bec Smith

05 Dec 05:40am

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Filed under: Biggest Moments Of 2011, Pippa Middleton, Royal Wedding, Sex

34 comments

What happened
The event promising all class instead gave us all arse. It was meant to be the wedding of the century, the day commoner Kate Middleton finally married her prince, but it turned into the biggest upstaging of the century.

The royals are in good shape

While millions of girls cried as they watched their chances of marrying Prince William sink to the bottom of the ocean, the boys were crying about a different kind of bottom. The eyes of the world weren’t on the bride, but on her sister as she serenely squatted to adjust the royal wedding dress.

What happened next
A Facebook page, Twitter account and numerous websites dedicated to Pippa’s behind popped up around the world. Men asked for a “Pippa’s Bum Appreciation Day” and women asked their plastic surgeons for “The Pip Package” on the promise of a perfect posterior. Journalists searched every crack and crevice for the most original butt puns of the rear, sorry, year. Many were left behind. Sorry again.

What we learned
We learned that when people say beauty comes from within, they really mean it comes from within a figure-hugging dress. Many people also learned the meaning of the words “bootyliscious” and “ass-tastic”.

We also learned, or rather were reminded, that The Royal Family will never be rid of scandal. Cracks always appear on the surface, so to speak.

How the Punch covered it
In typically forthright style, Melinda Tankard Reist said the widespread slobbering over Pippa’s arse reminded us how the objectification of women is so deeply entrenched in our culture. In a piece that generated a huge reader response, she equated men’s lascivious comments to “the virtual sexual harassment of Pippa Middleton”.

“Ease up,” said QLD academic and regular Puncher Stephen Harrington. “We’re not all bum-obsessed trolls.” Harrington agreed that some of the comments about Pippa’s behind were disrespectful and inappropriate, but asked to not be lumped in with “sickos, whack-jobs and nut bars out there”.

He made a fair point that while men have always lusted after a good derriere, there has never been a point in history where they could make their thoughts so visible. Therefore the sheer proliferation of comments doesn’t equate to the whole of society becoming one big porn film set.

That’s all very well. But when you consider that the Pippa Middleton Ass Appreciation Society has 241, 833 members, you’ve got to wonder.

Most commented

34 comments

Show oldest | newest first

    • acotrel says:

      05:37am | 05/12/11

      I wonder if she speaks through it, she could take Tony Abbott’s job.

      Reply

    • Ally says:

      06:29am | 05/12/11

      Well said acotrel, well said.

    • Sheldon says:

      06:42am | 05/12/11

      Tony Abbott: All arse no class.

    • Erick says:

      06:57am | 05/12/11

      Even when the topic is a shapely women’s bum, Acotrel can only think of Tony Abbott. This crush is disturbing.

    • the_pseudonym says:

      08:45am | 05/12/11

      You to manage to speak through a bulls ass most days,quite well acotrel.

    • Erick says:

      05:42am | 05/12/11

      No matter what men do or say, feminists will always find a way to portray it as an attack on women.

      The myth of “objectification of women” is one such example. Only a twisted, sexist ideologue could consider admiration of the female form as an expression of hatred.

      Reply

    • Diva says:

      07:14am | 05/12/11

      Erick - no, all you have to do is admire all forms of the female form, not just the ones that are deemed admirable because they comply with the idealised view of how a woman should be shaped.

      I think that’s the feminista position

    • Budz says:

      07:27am | 05/12/11

      @Diva, I have never heard of anything so ridiculous! Why should we or anyone admire forms of female that we do not find attractive? Do you admire all forms of the male species? Even the overweight beer gut ones?

      And regarding her bum, I honestly don’t see what the big deal was. The dress was so lose that you couldn’t even see her bum.

    • Erick says:

      07:33am | 05/12/11

      @Diva - I’m not sure that’s actually what feminists want. But even if it was, it would still be a case of feminists wanting to control men’s thoughts - which is unacceptable.

      I get the distinct impression that men would still be criticised as “misogynist” regardless of what they did or didn’t admire in a woman.

    • marley says:

      07:41am | 05/12/11

      Well, I wouldn’t disagree with Erick’s depiction of Melinda Tankard-Reist.  I’m begininng to suspect that she’s a plant by a men’s rights group, because nothing is more likely to alienate people from the feminist movement than one of her columns.

      As for men admiring women’s “attributes” - fine, just don’t marry her for her “attributes” and then whine that she doesn’t have character.

    • Tubesteak says:

      07:57am | 05/12/11

      Who cares what feminists think. They’re all idiots.

      A young woman in the prime of her life with a great figure is definitely something to be admired!

    • Richard says:

      07:58am | 05/12/11

      That’s rubbish Diva, saggy is not “deemed” unattractive, it is genuinely felt to be unattractive by a primal, natural emotional response that biology felt fit to program into all people. It is natural to admire a firm, plump pair of buttocks or bosoms, and all people do it, not just men.

      Feminism, more than just a war on men (which it still is) is actually a pretty abs ludicrous whine about the fundamental tenets of biology, and of nature itself, (or should I say mother nature herself).

    • Chris L says:

      08:32am | 05/12/11

      @Diva - Are you saying we have to pretend to be attracted to fat chicks as well?

    • Blind Freddy says:

      09:16am | 05/12/11

      @Diva

      ” all YOU HAVE TO do is admire all forms of the female “

      Your use of the phrase “you have to” says it all.

      All women HAVE TO do is admire men of all income and status levels.
      Yeah, like that would happen . . .

    • Ron E Coote says:

      06:19am | 05/12/11

      I suppose it’s better to be known for having a pretty good one, or even talking through one, than actually being one, acotrel.
      It requires a very “special” mindset to take an article not even remotely connected to politics, and convert it to an opportunity to display (yet again) ones blind political prejudice.
      Well done!

      Reply

    • Mahhrat says:

      06:40am | 05/12/11

      What I don’t, can’t and will never understand is how the veritable army of PR, showpeople, royal watchers and so on completely missed her choice of dress.

      I don’t believe it was an accident.  To wear white on a wedding day is a role usually reserved for bridge (and occasionally groom) in traditional weddings.  That her sister would dare wear a white dress of any shape - let alone one that draws attention to herself - cannot be any but stage-managed.

      And like good little idiots, we all focussed on it.

      Sure, Pippa has a great body - leisure life with nothing to do but work out will get that for you, I’m sure.  Plus, you know, work with what you have.

      What I don’t get is why.  It was deliberate, make no mistake, but to what end?  It wasn’t like the event wouldn’t be televised enough already.

      Paris Hilton’s sex tapes I understand - great way to get identified with youth culture, out from under her daddy’s umbrella, all that.  Pippa’s bum, though?  What for?  Perhaps smarter people than I could help me out here.

      Reply

    • TChong says:

      07:04am | 05/12/11

      mahhrat
      Dont know if any “royal “voyeurs and syncophants made any mention about what color etc she wore, but I think most people didnt give a rats.

    • Mahhrat says:

      08:14am | 05/12/11

      I noted it a couple times - there were complaints made that she’d wear white on her sister’s wedding day, the idea being that the bride wears white as a symbol of purity.

    • Tim says:

      10:22am | 05/12/11

      Mahhrat,
      of course it was on purpose. She’s a woman.
      The purpose was obviously to get attention for Pippa and apparently her sister OK’d the colour and dress beforehand.

    • Pamela says:

      10:32am | 05/12/11

      As a general rule the bride picks the bridesmaid’s dress… Or at least okays it. If Pippa strolled down the isle in it, it had to have been given the nod by Catherine at least, and probably some higher ups. Bridesmaids in white have been trending for a while, although your Victorianesque affront is charming, it is quite misplaced.

    • Greypower says:

      11:49am | 05/12/11

      Guests do not wear white nor do they wear black - lots of bad mannered guests at that wedding!

      The bride picks the colour of the BM dresses with consultation of BM’s

      my wedding in 1963 was an all white wedding - I wanted that - 2 BM in white but totally different style to my dress - very elegant and sophisticated.

    • gobsmack says:

      07:18am | 05/12/11

      Well 2011 must have been a very boring year if two of the “biggest moments” were Punch’s overreaction to Kyle Sandiland’s comments and Pippa’s backside.

      Reply

    • Budz says:

      07:30am | 05/12/11

      “That’s all very well. But when you consider that the Pippa Middleton Ass Appreciation Society has 241, 833 members, you’ve got to wonder. “
      I don’t know what the number has to do with anything. After seeing this I searched for the group and found that 3 of my friends ‘liked’ this page, of which 2 are girls! Explain that one you crazy feminists.

      Reply

    • thatmosis says:

      07:49am | 05/12/11

      What a to do over such a small thing. Just shows that in this day and age something as insignificant as an arse, Joolia excepted, can hold peoples attention for so long. Who really gives a rats what it looked like, my god the mentality of the twitter/facebook/media people never ceases to amaze in its infinite ability to show people up for idiots they are.

      Reply

    • stephen says:

      08:03am | 05/12/11

      You can’t really tell the type of bum before you until you see the pimples ... or not.
      Take out a crayon and join the dots and do a happy face.
      Tattoo you.
      ‘Yes K.Kardashian, I’m talking to you’.

      Women who have large bottoms normally have large breasts.
      This may stop them stooping, (although in that gal’s case, it caused her to grovel) and yet at the same time, the hour-glass physique lends us chaps to think of deeper things.
      Like such paintings, and what they’re worth.
      All girls in a tight dress look good in the arse.
      Let’em do a hoola-hoop ; now that’s a different matter.

      Reply

    • Babe in the Woods says:

      08:04am | 05/12/11

      I cried watching the Royal Wedding.  Not out of nostalga or odd romantic feelings though.  I cried as I beheld the backside I wished I had.  (I am honest enough to admit that - no matter how much I want to believe otherwise - it was never that good.)  Of course men wrote about it!  Who could miss it?  (Or want to, for that matter.)

      Reply

    • gobsmack says:

      02:36pm | 05/12/11

      Hopefully, it’s all behind you now.

    • ibast says:

      08:44am | 05/12/11

      Not enough of it for my liking

      Reply

    • Dieter Moeckel says:

      10:19am | 05/12/11

      WTF - So there is an arse on a chick that is in the public eye because she is related to who ever ... Any reasonably health pubescent girl has all the attributes most males will admire. These change when child bearing age is reached and pregnancy and child birth does a lot to change women’s physiques ...
      Slim girl-like wraiths a la models satisfy the lasciviousness in men while the Willendorf venus is the expression of fertile fecundity.

      Reply

    • Frank says:

      10:27am | 05/12/11

      I stll dont understand the male fascination with the female bum…..maybe thats y im gay…idk

      Reply

    • Chris L says:

      10:46am | 05/12/11

      We don’t understand your fascination with the male bum grin

      At least the female bum wiggles in a delightful way when they walk.

    • Wilma J Craig says:

      11:21am | 05/12/11

      It’s pear-shaped, wobbles & as it gets older gets bigger & bigger & bigger & floppier & floppier!
      Just like those two big bits attached to our chests! They, too either stay big or get scrawny and flop around!
      Give me the nice, tight, bubble-butt so many of our sportsmen have. Even after they have retired & grown old & fat, particularly around the belly, just like so many of us, for some reason those small, tight bums still manage to exist!

      Reply

    • Farken says:

      12:19pm | 05/12/11

      look if you want to get high on some ones butt okay just don’t tell us

      Reply

    • Wilma J Craig says:

      02:13pm | 05/12/11

      Farken!
      I’m far too old to get high on anything!
      In case you might think to suggest it, I have tried but didn’t like pot. have never tried any other mind-altering drugs.
      Just let me have a bit of fun or am I not allowed to anymore simply because I am in my mid-80s?

 
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