What happened
Australia’s favourite middle-aged spin bowler proposed to England’s favourite middle-aged model and actor, at a restaurant at the famous St Andrews golf course in Scotland in November. Thus was born the name “Shurley”

Blinded by their love… and Shane's teeth

OK, so there were bigger, more important issues this year. But in terms of issues that set tongues wagging, both on this website and across Australia, this was a biggie.

The engagement came after just 10 months of dating, and confirmed that Shane Warne is today just about the most famous Australian in any field of public life. Women’s mags completely crapped themselves at the news, while hair replacement therapists and slimming pill suppliers booked expensive holidays in anticipation of years of revenue to come.

What happened next
Warnie and Liz paraded around like royalty, with Liz sporting a $100,000 rock. The duo bobbed up at Flemington, and at Shane’s new lounge in the Crown Casino complex. Meanwhile, Warne hosted his new celeb buddies like Sarah Jessica Parker at poolside functions at his Melbourne home. Oh, and Warne signed on with new Australian Twenty20 team, the aptly-named Melbourne Stars.

Also, the couple kissed in public. A lot. And did the cyber-equivalent on Twitter. An awful lot.

What we learned
Above all, we learned that Eddie Perfect’s excellent Shane Warne The Musical, for all its true-to-life hilarity, was pretty much like Star Wars Episode One. Or Episode Four. Or whichever one of the stupid things comes chronologically first. Point is, the minute you think Warne’s life is about to get mundane, it gets yet more intriguing.

We also learned that most Australians still really like Shane Warne. For all his hoity-toity new friends, Warne’s gift has always been that he has never acted like the famous people – give or take a bit of elaborate dentistry and tanning work.

How The Punch covered it
Actually we mostly ignored it, which proves that we have not yet evolved into a women’s magazine. But our regular Thursday guy Jason Tin did focus on the engagement in a witty yarn titled “There’s nothing more pathetic than an ageing star”.

That line was countered by one of our typically forthright Punch readers “Dbee”, who commented in the very first response:

“How can you hate on Warnie? Warnie for PM! He could probably do a better job than Julia anyway!”

Yes he could. Yes indeed he could. Eddie Perfect, are you reading this?

Most commented

42 comments

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    • Super D says:

      04:52am | 08/12/11

      love him or hate him, Warnie is living the dream.  Actually he’s living two dreams (international cricket super stardom and nailing Liz Hurley) and they’re both mine or at least they were the dreams of a much younger SD.

    • Alf says:

      07:51am | 08/12/11

      I never did like cricket, but hey…I’d would settle for one out of two.

    • PW says:

      05:11am | 08/12/11

      I thought the saddest moment of this whole thing was the beautiful and usually dignified Simone Warne appearing in a cover story for one of the women’s magazines complete with hunk of beefcake, saying how she’s also moved on. Maybe she needed the money, and I didn’t read the article as I’d rather read the white pages than these rags, but she came across as rather bitter that her ex had so publicly repartnered.

    • Tim says:

      06:26am | 08/12/11

      Simone Warned dignified? Bahahaha.
      What when youve seen her in those same women’s mags telling “her side”?

      Shane Warne and Simone were perfect for each other. They are extremely similar if you know what I mean?

    • BJ says:

      07:03am | 08/12/11

      Shane fist met Simone at a race day. He asked for her number and then lost it. The next few times he saw her, she snubbed him, because he hadn’t called. Any gentleman would have left her alone, but not our Shane, who kept going and eventually married her.

      No wonder some men won’t take no for an answer.

      No wonder Simone ended up with a sleazebag.

    • Trevor says:

      08:08am | 08/12/11

      PW

      “...but she came across as rather bitter that her ex had so publicly repartnered.”

      She can’t be too bitter is she retained the Warne surname! Although I note this seems to be a common practice for celebrity exes.

    • Macca says:

      05:20am | 08/12/11

      “I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley”.

      Ah, no better way to start the day than one of the funniest movie quotes ever. Whilst it doesn’t make the top moments of the year, I’d like to take this time to remember Leslie Nielsen.

      May you Rest in Peace, you funny bastard. And take these two has-been idiots with you

    • Static says:

      06:22am | 08/12/11

      RIP Frank Drebin my favourite cop

    • mick says:

      06:53am | 08/12/11

      Shane who?  Is this guy worth the time of day or a place in cyber space?  Maybe we should leave the guy alone and let him get on with his life and hope for his sake that he has grown up.

    • The rest of the village says:

      09:00am | 08/12/11

      Shane WARNE you dick head, his name is mentioned multiple times in the actual article.

      Sorry everyone, we let the idiot get to the computer again.

    • BMJ says:

      06:53am | 08/12/11

      Biggest moments of 2011 #16.

      Some cricketer hooking up with an actress.

      -clap-

    • GFC says:

      07:35am | 08/12/11

      “some” cricketer?

      Dont you mean “The greatest spinner in the history of the sport”?

    • marley says:

      07:46am | 08/12/11

      @BMJ - I guess it was a pretty quiet year….

    • Wicket Waz says:

      08:05am | 08/12/11

      Actress?!? Bwahahaha

    • Kasino says:

      09:41am | 08/12/11

      “The greatest spinner in the history of the sport”... You mean he throws a ball well?

    • gobsmack says:

      10:20am | 08/12/11

      He provided entertainment, excitement and moments of triumph to hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of Australians.
      Which is a lot more than what this current batch of cricketers have done.

    • stephen says:

      04:06pm | 08/12/11

      Right, and you should have read Jeff (Thommo) Thompson’s remarks in yesterday’s paper about the current crop of bowlers.
      He and Dennis Lillee both seem to think that they, generally, do not bowl enough, and the reason for so many injuries is their bodies are not ready for professional sport.
      Fast bowlers, especially, need to be first-class athletes, and they must spend most of their waking hours at their chosen sport - actually doing it, not taking breaks every half-hour for a snooze or a swim.
      No Kapil Devs or Bradman’s in this lot.

    • CherryBomb says:

      10:31am | 08/12/11

      Is it just me or is Shane Warne looking more and more like a Vulcan?

    • n_dude says:

      11:14am | 08/12/11

      A botoxed one with flourescent teeth!

    • Alf says:

      02:09pm | 08/12/11

      More like Troy out of Tunder Birds

    • LaDiva says:

      08:38pm | 08/12/11

      Or George Hamilton’s and Mr Spock’s love-child.

    • Aitch B says:

      10:46am | 08/12/11

      Hurley burley what a girly…......  she’s hawt!!!!

    • TrueOz says:

      10:55am | 08/12/11

      Warnie, you’re a legend!

    • Diva says:

      11:30am | 08/12/11

      The main thing I worry about with Warny is that he seems to be morphing into Sam Newman.

      And that is a shame.  The old authentic, cuddly, character Warny was way more lovable than the new carefully pressed, airbrushed, fake-tanned Warny.

    • mango says:

      11:43am | 08/12/11

      Australia’s fascination with boganism - in its celebrities, sporting heroes and its prime minister, never ceases to amaze me.

    • rabbit says:

      01:17pm | 08/12/11

      You took the words from my mouth.

    • acotrel says:

      05:18pm | 08/12/11

      strange when the most competent person in the parliament is a bogan !

    • Budz says:

      12:59pm | 08/12/11

      Ok Punch Team, who played the practical joke on Photoshop and made Warnie into some sought of red beast with blindingly white teeth? Liz’s skin looks normal, but what the hell happened to Shane?

    • PG says:

      04:00pm | 08/12/11

      Warnie - Australia’s Charlie Sheen

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