Are you 32 years of age or over? Are you having trouble sleeping and starting to worry more? Are your grocery bills getting bigger? Do you find yourself tuning into to daytime soaps with alarming regularity? Or turning in early so you’re fresh for the morning? Are you scolding people around you for leaving socks on the floor? Do you write thank you notes? 

One of these girls is just like the other. Photo: Thinkstock.

Don’t panic. You are not losing your mind. You’re just entering the stage of life Hallmark calls “mum-metamorphosis.” 

By definition: an “inescapable stage of life” starting at 32 years of age where people are most likely to start inheriting maternal mannerisms, behaviour and in many cases, repeating their mum’s most favourite spoken lines.

You know, ones like; “What did your last slave die of?” and “Eat your vegetables”. “You’ve got a lot to learn kid”, “A good night’s sleep will solve everything” “Mother knows best”, “If you’re hungry eat a piece of fruit”, “I don’t care who started it, I’m finishing it” “Stop rocking that chair”, “Don’t leave home without a jacket in this weather, you’ll catch a chill”, “This is the last time I am going to tell you ...”, “Ask your father.”

Women are overall more susceptible to this behavioural condition, but Hallmark says fifty per cent of men will use one or more of their mum’s favourite phrases “when they deem the time is right”.

And if you didn’t grow up with your mum, then you’re probably more likely to inherit the traits of the person who had the most influence on your earliest years of life. 

So how does it start and will anyone notice? The female contingent of The Punch team investigates.

Post a comment or share your mum’s favourite expression below.

Lucy says:

I’m ten weeks shy of turning 32, so my mum-transformation is not long off.

Now that’s not altogether a bad thing. My life could do with a bit of an organisational boost, not to mention some extra motivation and wisdom. Plus my mum is also a terrific cook, so I’m bound to win favour with my friends.

But what I’d really like to know is can you pick and mix? Because it’s not clear to me what happens to the um, ahem, difficult bits…

My hunch is that it’s actually more of a tag-team approach.

A “I’ll” take the bad bits and “you” keep the good bits scenario. 

For example, on a recent shopping trip together it was me that waved away a shop assistant with a slightly annoyed “just browsing” movement with my hand, while my mum chatted away happily. Several years ago- in exactly the same scenario-our roles would have definitely been reversed.

Given that I’ve also started to answer the phone with a “Lucy speaking” (instead of just a hello); asking people to come to the table instead of shouting “dinner’s ready” across the house and writing thank you notes within a week of an event or recieving a gift, I guess that means my mum can really start slacking off.

Of course being a stickler for good manners, she never would. And that’s just one of the things I love most about her.

Tory says:

It’s frightening at first, but once you get used to it, it’s sort of OK. Depending on what your Mum’s like, of course. 

I first started channelling Mum in my 20s. Just the odd twitch here or there. I started getting a little bossier, a little more impatient with fools. Much more organised. 

I already had her chicken legs.

In my late 20s I was listening to local ABC radio, had developed an interest in gardening, could talk for hours about recipes, and was very much a regular red wine imbiber.

Now I’m a couple of years past the 32-year mum-transformation mark, and the metamorphosis is much more evident. 

There’s this clapping habit I’ve picked up, when I want people to piss off and leave. It’s a rather abrupt way of moving them on – but it works, so I’ll probably keep it. 

I interrupt a fair bit in conversation, and I caught myself doing the “conch” the other day – crossing my fingers over my head to indicate that I’m busting to give my 2 cents worth. Typical of my Mum. 

Little quirks like that are funny for those that recognise them in both of us. 

There are other, broader traits that I reckon I picked up, which I’m glad to have.  A sense of humour (even if only Mum finds me funny). Empathy. Self motivation. A lack of sentimentality (unless there’s been a fair slug of the red). 

Whoever brings you up shapes you in more ways than you would ever notice.  I’m privileged and damn lucky that I had my Mum. Oh shit - did that ruin that thing I said about sentimentality?

Most commented

52 comments

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    • Bugsy says:

      01:43pm | 01/04/11

      OMG! I was only saying the other day that I’m turning into my Grandmother! She was my primary carer for the majority of my life as a young kid. Things she says and does = me. I am my Nanny. Hahaha.

    • acotrel says:

      11:12pm | 03/04/11

      @Lucy
      ‘ones like; “What did your last slave die of?” and “Eat your vegetables”. “You’ve got a lot to learn kid”, “A good night’s sleep will solve everything” “Mother knows best”, “If you’re hungry eat a piece of fruit”, “I don’t care who started it, I’m finishing it” “Stop rocking that chair”, “Don’t leave home without a jacket in this weather, you’ll catch a chill”, “This is the last time I am going to tell you ...”, “Ask your father.”’

      How about ‘are your arms and legs painted on’? It’s one from my dear old mother-in-law!

    • Jono says:

      01:44pm | 01/04/11

      “Mum I’m hungry”. “Hi Hungry I’m your mother” :l

    • Tubesteak says:

      01:45pm | 01/04/11

      Yes
      No
      No
      Hell no, can’t stand them.
      Not really.
      I live alone. If there’s socks on the floor it’s because I left them there and heaven help the person that criticises me for doing what I want in my own house.
      No

      But I do use some of the phrases mentioned above. Especially “what did your last slave die of?” which I got from my parents and will use whenever someone asks me to do something.

    • Erick says:

      01:47pm | 01/04/11

      This is why it’s important for men to meet their girlfriends’ mothers. Because that’s who they will be in twenty years.

      Also, a woman’s relationship with her father is an important indicator.

    • Kika says:

      02:04pm | 01/04/11

      And likewise a boy will be their father in 20 years.

      AND the relationship a man has with his mother is ALSO VERY important in assessing suitability as a partner. Too close = mummas boy. Too distant = issues. You need to find someone in between.

      Well, i’m turning into my grandmother. So I guess my husband has a 53 year view ahead of what I’ll be like then. Haha.

    • St. Michael says:

      02:52pm | 01/04/11

      Oddly, as far as my ex-girlfriends are concerned, I wound up getting on better with their mothers than I did with them.

      Although my wife’s mother is a sweetie, which clearly ran in the family. smile

    • Robert Smissen, rural SA, God's own country says:

      11:06pm | 01/04/11

      St. Michael, maybe the reason you got on better with their mothers is that you haven’t cut the apron strings

    • Hmm says:

      01:21pm | 04/04/11

      My hubby said if I turn into my mother he’ll divorce me.  I’m fighting the urge…

    • Richard Perin says:

      03:19pm | 02/05/11

      No truer words spoken. LOL. Scars to prove it. Xo. Someone please prove me wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • fairsfair says:

      01:48pm | 01/04/11

      Oh man, this is already happening (happened) to me! I have been aware of it though and figued that there was no point resisting it.

      I first realised it was happening at age 23 when I was shopping for a new handbag to match my work shoes. I did what all mums do…. I stood in front of the full length mirror. Held the bag by its strap and placed it at about my knee, extended my leg and jutted my hip out to see if it was suitable. I turned and looked at my sister who was staring in horror. I then turned to my mother, who was doing the same thing - in the other mirror.

      From that moment on it has got progressively worse culminating in my peering through venetian blinds the other weekend yelling at the teenagers next door to turn their music down. It was only 11:30pm. What a monster!

    • NicoleG says:

      04:12pm | 01/04/11

      I hear ya ff. I’m so much like my mum too. I find myself saying all the stuff she says like ‘Ask your father’ or ‘Do we have a freaking money tree’. But my favourite one is when one of my lovely children tell me they’re can’t live here any more or they’re moving out, I simply ask them if they’d like a hand to pack. I’m nasty.

    • Slick says:

      02:10pm | 01/04/11

      It starts earlier for some.
      For me it was at 23. I heard a Ke$ha song(TikTok) and thought “my gosh, what kind of horrible example is this rubbish sending our kids?”
      I then mentally slapped myself and turned it up really loud to try and wash the mum out of me!

    • St. Michael says:

      02:51pm | 01/04/11

      Bet it didn’t succeed.  Tik Tok is designed to rub everybody up the wrong way at a deep psychological level, not just mothers.

    • MiniMummy says:

      02:12pm | 01/04/11

      I noticed the change in my early 20s while Mum was away for a few weeks.  Mum has this thing where she states the person, the item and then questions its purpose.  I found myself saying to my Dad “Dad, this brief case.  Does it need to be here?”  The first time I said it, I gasped and put my hand to my mouth in horror.  It was only a matter of time…

      Having said that, my Mum is a gem. smile

    • Brendon says:

      02:19pm | 01/04/11

      I’m turning into my mother in law.

    • Miki says:

      02:31pm | 01/04/11

      I’m sure she’s a lovely woman.

    • Momxx says:

      02:50pm | 01/04/11

      It’s alright for the rest of you - my Mum is evil - I’m off to stick my head in a bucket…

    • MnM says:

      02:52pm | 01/04/11

      Never. I’ll rage against turning into this kind of clone of my mother until my last breath. Daytime soaps indeed. I’d rather stick forks in my eyes.

    • St. Michael says:

      04:31pm | 01/04/11

      To quote the great philosopher Judd Nelson in “The Breakfast Club”: “You can’t stop it.  It’s inevitable.  We all end up being our parents.”

    • stephen says:

      09:42pm | 01/04/11

      I, and I know a few others, have spent our whole lives refuting that observation.
      It’s hard, but hell it’s fun.

    • Robert Smissen, rural SA, God's own country says:

      11:10pm | 01/04/11

      BALDERDASH ! ! St. Michael, if that were true my daughter would like muscle cars, play practical jokes on her kids, take in stray kids, oh wait, she turned into me

    • MnM says:

      04:26pm | 05/04/11

      I don’t think it’s inevitable at all. I just don’t understand the attraction of daytime TV. It’s uniformly appalling, and I can’t ever see myself ironing in front of it. She also reads “That’s Life” magazine. Lol!

    • NQ says:

      03:24pm | 01/04/11

      Oh, crap. I’m too much like my mum already, and I’m only 30.  You mean it’s going to get worse?

    • Old Bert says:

      03:26pm | 01/04/11

      Yeah I’m over 32 years of age, and I have trouble sleeping, and starting to worry more. Don’t do the daytime soaps, do scold everyone around me, even when they aren’t there. Yeah, turn in early so I’m fresh in the morning, 1am. No socks on the floor, they’re rolled neatly in the sock drawer, the one pulled out slightly more than the WWII Army issue shorts drawer. Yes, a creature of habit, standing by the bed at 6am since 1945,  ready for inspection by the commanding officer. It could have been Dad. I guess it’s habit. Mum, a good scolder, only yesterday I think said,  when I leave socks and clothing on the floor, “wait till your father comes home”. I’d never seen my father, a soldier, but waited, as instructed. He never came home.  I do have trouble scolding those young fellers up power poles, fiddling with live power lines. I always tell them to get down fast, or they would be in trouble, and “wait till your father comes home”.

    • Jane Wallace says:

      04:11pm | 01/04/11

      Are you serious? Do you really really truly believe that my mother thinks, behaves and speaks like I do?
      She would be retired from her retirement village if she did and receive work for the age pension from tony abbott.

      Your comment is wrong:

    • Tory Shepherd

      Tory Shepherd says:

      04:11pm | 01/04/11

      Old Bert - OMG (sorry, channelled a different generation there) I forgot to mention the sleeping thing!

      There are studies showing it’s hereditary, but what is really specific to mums/daughters is what keeps them up - the sorts of things that you worry about - to the point where you just know that something will have you up at 3am, blaming the creaking door when in fact your own subsconscious won’t let you rest.

    • Old Bert says:

      05:22pm | 01/04/11

      Tory, I have no heriditary evidence of sleeping whilst someone is talking to me, except for my mother-in-law, and daughters who have a specific request to attend the ball where Mr Darcy is also attending. You should get your ‘facts’ right. This of course does not have me up at 3am. There are no creaking doors. Particularly those of my sub-conscious, which has no influence, except to regain the peace of which was the scenario, before Mr Darcy appeared .

    • Bex says:

      04:30pm | 01/04/11

      haha wow, I’m 26 (turning 27 this year) and in the past year I’ve started experiencing exactly the what Tory said happened to hear. I - a big music fan - start to get irritated when my partner plays loud music or plays his drums and he is often met with a seething silence and a reply of “turn that down!” when inquiring as to why I look like I’ve just been told that my dog DIDN’T run away when I was 5. That’s not even the worst part - in the last couple of months I’ve picked up a copy of various puzzle magazines and gossip rags along with my morning paper. The shame! The SHAME!!

    • Kelstar says:

      04:49pm | 01/04/11

      Yep - turned into my Mum a little while ago. I recently noticed we basically had the same haircut and colour. I call the check-out chicks by name. I complain about my friends visiting me ‘cause “I can’t get stuff done”. I am able to talk about plants and the best manure to use. I drink earl grey tea only. I chit chat to shop assistants. I smile and say hello to strangers in the street. I peg my clothes on the line under the arms “so the holes don’t show”. I mend bras. I have several pairs of “granny undies”. I make preserves. I do scrapbooking. i complain about young people and their music. Yep, definately am my mother…

    • Emily says:

      05:44pm | 01/04/11

      I also peg clothes on the line under the arms and inside out so the peg marks don’t show and the fabric doesn’t fade. My mother had a strict regime of rules regarding laundry and hanging them out and I follow most of them to this day.

    • Caitlin says:

      05:17pm | 01/04/11

      I’m 20 and my mother’s been calling me middle-aged since I was fifteen. When I started working in childcare though, out came all the parenting phrases - and now that I’m stuck in the habit I keep asking adults “Is this a good idea, or a bad idea?”. I also walk around the house rubbing my hands together and humming just like my mother does, amongst other things. It’s pretty terrible raspberry

    • Emily says:

      05:37pm | 01/04/11

      Haha, the mum quotes had me laughing. What did you last slave died of and Ask your father were oft-repeated lines. Also popular was “money doesn’t grow on trees” and when we asked what was for dinner “hoggels (sp?) and possum grits”.

    • NQ says:

      07:26pm | 01/04/11

      When my son asks what something is and I couldn’t be bothered explaining it, it’s ‘a wing-wong for a goose’s bridle”, and when he’s asking where I am I let him know that I’ve ‘run away to join the circus”.  Yep, both from Mum…

    • The Old Salt says:

      10:49pm | 01/04/11

      @NQ, it’s a wigwam (North American indian’s tent), not a “wing-wong” your mother probably said. I know my father did..

    • Robert Smissen, rural SA, God's own country says:

      11:14pm | 01/04/11

      ER, shouldn’t that be a wig-wam for a goose’s bridle? ?

    • Ange says:

      09:49am | 02/04/11

      My mum’s classic response to what’s for dinner was “bread and duck, I’ll throw the bread and you duck!!

    • Stefano says:

      06:21pm | 01/04/11

      The answer to “What did your last slave die of?” was always “A punch in the head”.

    • TrueOz says:

      08:18pm | 01/04/11

      Ours were always flogged to death!

    • Nick says:

      08:27pm | 01/04/11

      Charming

    • Tanya says:

      01:20pm | 02/04/11

      Little smartarse that I was, I would answer that with “Boredom”

    • Kate says:

      02:05pm | 05/04/11

      The correct answer to this is always ‘Overwork’

    • Walt says:

      09:03am | 09/04/11

      Beaten to death for asking about the last slave.

    • Cat says:

      06:41pm | 10/04/11

      Disobedience!

    • Kali says:

      06:46pm | 01/04/11

      I’ve only noticed a couple of quirks but it’s definitely getting worse. Like Kelstar, I totally talk to check out chicks all the time now. My Mum does it and it used to embarass the crap out of me, and now I do it and embarass my fiance!

      That’s the worst one but I’m sure there’s more I just can’t think of on a Friday afternoon at beer-o-clock.

    • deb says:

      06:43am | 02/04/11

      Kali, checkout chicks are real people too and enjoy a gossip as well as the next person.

    • Gladys says:

      10:15pm | 01/04/11

      I have wondered about this. i thought my sounding like my mother was because my most accurate recollections of her were from when she was my age now.

      I guess another thing to watch out for is having stamps ready to use.

    • Noidentityproblem says:

      01:15am | 02/04/11

      I first noticed that there were things about me that were my parents when i was in my twenties. This disturbed me a lot as i “wanted to be my own person”. As the years rolled along it has become more obvious but more worrying as my father is deranged and obsessive. Most things about my parents in truth are pretty universal for those of that age bracket. Quotes from parents don’t really mean a lot after all quotes are quotable and spring to mind regarding house type activities. I use a lot of old Australian sayings anyway and have been told that frequently.

    • Mandy says:

      06:21am | 02/04/11

      Very interesting.  Is the effect pronounced when you have kids?

      I’m 32 and have absolutely nothing in common with my mother.  (Don’t get me wrong, she’s a fabulous lady and I admire her very much, but we’re not very close.)  Given that our lives are pretty much polar opposites, I can’t even think of situations where I would use her common phrases/mimic her behaviour.

      If I have children then maybe that will change.

    • Chloe says:

      07:36am | 02/04/11

      My mother’s house was always so spotless until the last couple of years & I could never understand why until one day, after cleaning the bathroom I walked back in with my reading glasses on. YIKES!
      I’m disappointed in my children because they have missed a vital clue in raising their kids. When asked “why?” my answer was always ” because I said so”. it beats the crap out of what they dish up today, all that psychobabble!
      All my daughters have my double chin & now they all wear glasses - & look just like me.

    • Dana says:

      09:21pm | 05/04/11

      My mum’s favourite:

      “I’m not angry, just disappointed.”

    • Emily says:

      09:58pm | 06/04/11

      Oh god yes!! I’m 25 and today saw a girl riding her bike with her helmet hanging off her handlebars. I immediately thought ‘well at least her handlebars will be protected if she falls!’. I then mentally kicked myself.

      My most memorable mum quotes growing up were:

      “In a moment.” “How long is a moment?” “As long as I want it to be” - in otherwords, not for a long time.

      “I’m bored” “Well I have some chores you can do?” - suddenly, not so bored…

      “I’m hungry.” “Have some fruit.” “I don’t want fruit.” “Well you can’t be that hungry then.” - Dammit.

      I also cluck at the young kids and their fashion choices, my general criticism is there is not enough fabric, nor is the clothing temperature appropriate. I even have started looking for shoes that are ‘comfortable’. I’m doomed!

 

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