Want to know the biggest disgrace about the FINA world swimming championships to date?

France's Frederick Bousquet, a sprinter who has been using one of the enhanced suits.

It’s not swimsuits. It’s Aussie bloody whingeing.

Look, no one denies swimming’s governing body FINA could scramble an egg just by looking at it. No one’s saying we don’t need clarity in this swimsuit shemozzle, and no one is claiming that swimmers are breaking world records on talent alone this week.

But I’ll tell you who’s complaining the loudest. Us.

When other swimmers smash records in the new breed of super suits, it’s a blight on the sport. But when our girls and guys strike gold, as Jess Schipper did overnight Thursday, out comes the old line about “it’s the swimmer, not the suit”.

Aussie Aussie Aussie. Whinge whinge whinge.

The problem here is that we’ve got priors. Remember Ian Thorpe’s “seal suit”? What about the sleek hoodie Cathy Freeman wore in the 400m final at Sydney? Winged keel, anyone?

I’m not saying any of these innovations were illegal. They weren’t. But neither, according to the letter of the law, are the current crop of polyurethane fast suits. And they won’t be until January 1, 2010 at the very earliest.

I know, I know, Michael Phelps has complained too, mostly through his mouthpiece Bob Bowman, who apparently doubles as his coach.

What Phelps/Bowman and everyone else seem to be missing here is that technology is always evolving in every sport.

No one’s telling Tour de France riders to ditch their 6.8kg bikes for the 16 kilo beast I ride to work.

I haven’t heard too many people saying Ricky Ponting should abandon his Kookaburra bat for the virtual fence paling Bradman used.

What, should we take away Steve Hooker’s super-bendy titanium pole vault pole and lend him the behind post Leigh Matthews once snapped?

Fact is, the only reason anyone’s jumping up and down about swimsuits is the speed of the technological arms race. In most sports, technology evolves year on year, Olympiad on Olympiad, giving everyone a chance to catch up – provided of course they’re from an affluent nation.

In this case, the technology has advanced so fast that manufacturers literally can’t cope with demand from spoilt athletes from developed nations. Which means anyone who doesn’t have the latest suit to roll off the production line has as much chance of winning gold as Eric the Eel Moussambani. Take it away, Roy and HG.

So yes, it’s up to those guardians of morality and goodness FINA – they of the morning swimming finals in Beijing – to sort out this mess, which in their inimitable way they more or less have done, maybe, starting soonish, we hope.

But in the meantime, Australia would do well to drop down the whingeing table a few rungs and concentrate on improving our woeful position of seventh on the official medal table.

I mean, really. Since when is the headline Technology Creates Uneven Playing Field a fair dinkum news story?

8 comments

Show oldest | newest first

    • Tom says:

      08:37am | 01/08/09

      I think your comparison to Tour de France riders among others is somewhat irrelevant. A bike is a critical part of cycling; whereas a suit is not a critical part of swimming. And also, bikes are limited to 6.8kg, when it is very easy to find an off the shelf bike much lighter than that, partly for safety reasons and partly because it means every bike in the field will be near as makes no difference 6.8kg, hence minimising the differences between riders based upon their bikes.

      Essentially, swimming should be about the athlete moving through the water as quickly as possible, and nothing else, whereas cycling (and other sports - e.g. F1, anything with a bat/racquet) are about utilising a piece of equipment for an end.

    • rob says:

      12:51pm | 01/08/09

      Well put Tom. 

      Anthony, I’d love to hear your take on the Swiss potentially using an engine in the upcoming Americas cup and their agreement with ISAF to not declare their modified racing rules to the challenger (Americans) right up until the event so the challenger is not able to maximise their boats design to suit the rules.  I guess you’d claim the Americans have no right to complain. 

      Sorry, that’s all probably way over your head.  My point is that we are not alone when it comes to whinging about piss poor decisions by a sports authority.

    • RT says:

      08:21pm | 01/08/09

      Many sports long ago stopped being about athleticism and became big business based on TV entertainment. That’s when the rot set in and we viewers are all complicit.

    • Steve says:

      07:43pm | 02/08/09

      Finally, someone has come out and said it like it is.  There’s no doubt that were Australia the country winning all the medals and breaking the world records, they wouldn’t be bleating and whingeing.  As with the cricket, when the contentious decisions are in the favour of Australia, the common cry is they even themselves out but when they go against them, the bleating and whingeing comes to the fore.  Surely it’s as simple as drawing a line before the suits and after them as far as suits are concerned.  The fact that some countries can’t afford the suits wouldn’t appear to hold water as I’m sure if the swimmer showed the required ability money would be found for the suit.

    • Jonathan says:

      10:02pm | 02/08/09

      Swim naked.  Problem solved.

      This is the biggest whinge about whinging I’ve ever read.

    • Charlie says:

      04:27pm | 03/08/09

      Anthony of course works for a sports magazine which relies heavily on the advertising of companies such as Speedo to turn a profit, so you can’t really expect him to be too critical of the “benefits” new technology brings to swimming.

    • Ant Sharwood says:

      05:21pm | 03/08/09

      Charlie, thanks for your comment. When Penbo asked for reader feedback recently, one of the things Punch readers said they wanted more of was responses from writers. So here’s mine. The notion that I am beholden to any current or would-be advertiser in Alpha magazine is plain wrong. I write willingly and enthusiastically for The Punch in my own extremely limited spare time and completely independently of my role at Alpha. In almost every case (and certainly this one), the content I generate for this site is not replicated on the Alpha website or anywhere else. Charlie, I wrote this piece because I honestly believe the suit backlash has been strongly tinged with jealousy here in Australia, among both the sporting fraternity and general public. If you’re looking for a smoking gun, well, there isn’t even a gun. As I say, though, thanks again for taking the time to comment.

    • Morgan says:

      08:29pm | 03/08/09

      Who gives a flying frag about swimming, cricket, or every other bloody sport on TV. If you haven’t got the stones to get your slack arse off the lounge chair and actually do it then you’ve got nothing about which to complain.
      Anthony is right though…. Aussies can even beat the Poms when it comes to whinging.  This country really has become the 52nd state of the union (Canada is the 51st smile

 

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