As a proud Melburnian, I denounce all terrorism

Peter says:

08:55am | 10/08/09

This article is rubbish that trivialises the fact that people could have been murdered by a bunch of crazy Islamofascists.

That’s not a laughing matter.

Gibbot says:

09:43am | 10/08/09

“While most home grown terrorists are Melburnian, let me assure you not all Melburnians are home grown terrorists.”

Gold, Matt. I think this is the first article that puts recent events into the right perspective.

As a Sydneysider, I feel we should endeavour to understand just why Melburnians hate us so much. Sure, we have real landmarks, and beaches, and the rest of the world knows we exist, and we don’t have to spend ten out of every twelve months under six layers of clothes. Sure there’s the bikini clad backpackers and one of the world’s most beautiful harbours..

Come to think of it, it’s not hard to see why you lot hate us at all. Carry on.

Courteney says:

12:51pm | 10/08/09

I like bigotry best when it’s trivialised. Nice work, Mat. Lovely clean satire & good reading. You make me proud to call myself a Melburnian in the face of the terrorist threat.

Dan says:

01:20pm | 10/08/09

Peter, if you knew anything, you would know that there is NO such thing as Islamofascism! Fascism by its nature is not religious.

Steven says:

01:25pm | 10/08/09

It’s bewildering that a young person from Cooma (NSW!) should write such an article claiming to be a Victorian, and even worse, a Melburnian! Keneally is about as much Melburnian as that other comedian, Peter Berner. However, Keneally is right in one respect: the essential difference between Melbourne and Sydney is that Melbourne actually cares about and pays attention to Sydney.

Dom Romeo says:

01:38pm | 10/08/09

Peter, the day we stop laughing in the face of fear is the day we give into it. Police and military fight terrorism on their level, the press does it on another – keeping the law enforcers honest and accountable by printing stories that others would rather be suppressed. Comedians and satirists ridicule and show other sides again to the story so at the very least, there is a moment of freedom in otherwise trying times, or at best, discussion of issues ensue.

PS: It’s ‘Mat Kenneally’ rather than ‘Matt Keneally’, isn’t it?

Jamal says:

02:02pm | 10/08/09

That is hilarious!!

LM says:

03:03pm | 10/08/09

Steven - as a immigrant to this country one of the most frustrating things is when people try and tell you —correction—dictate to you, what your Nationality is. If Matt was born in NSW but identifies himself as a Melbournian who are you to judge and question that?

It’s the same when people ask me where I’m from to determine my ethnicity and don’t accept ‘Australia’ as an answer or equally frustrating when I casually mention certain cultural differences I have identified since moving here i.e ‘I prefer siestas in the summer time’ to which i’m told: ‘well you’re in Australia now’

I know it seems like i’m over reacting since we are only talking about Melbourne vs. Sydney but it just hit a sore point!

Steven says:

03:45pm | 10/08/09

LM - you have a strange logic underpinning your case. Following your logic, if I were born a male and had the biological features of a male but identified myself as a female, who would anyone else be to judge and question that? “Where are you from?” is a basic question that Australians ask people (even their own countrymen and women) and if you’re not originally from Australia, you should be honest with yourself and them. No fair-minded person will consider you less of an Australian for telling the truth, it will just satisfy their curiosity. However, I understand and agree with your point about explaining cultural differences. Australians should be more sensitive and thoughtful than to simply give a terse reply such as “you’re in Australia now” if someone points out a cultural difference.

Marky Mark says:

07:07pm | 10/08/09

Why doesn’t Melbourne have things people want to bomb? Isn’t this dicriminatory?

LM says:

07:37pm | 10/08/09

Steven, I see how it’s not easy to understand the logic behind what I’m saying.  But you see it’s just that where you were born or even live for a certain period of time doesn’t often accurately reflect your ethnicity or how you identify yourself and it’s difficult to explain to people who say it’s determined by where you’re born.

For example: Let’s say, what if my name was Raj, and my family hail from Northern India but my granparents moved to a thriving Indian community in Paris, France and that is where I was born. I never learn to speak French properly, my native Hindi tongue as all I am ever required to speak is Hindi because we live in a segregated community where that’s all we spoke and then a few years later I move to Australia - mind you at this stage I have never set foot in India and neither have my parents - and people asked me where I was from, what would I say? France or Northern India?

You would automatically say -well you’re born in France so you’re French right? But French people would never have accepted me as French nor would they have ever identified me as French and all I have ever known is Indian so I’d prefer saying I was Indian.

See how where you are born doesn’t distinguish your nationality? For me when people ask where I’m from, sure, I prefer saying Australia because on my passport my nationality is listed as ‘Australian’ and I don’t want to confuse people or have them weigh in on how I should identify myself - which has happened to me on numerous occasions thus the sore point.

Josh says:

08:37am | 11/08/09

No Real point to that article.  Plus you left out that Vic has a substandard replacement to NRL (yes I knocked AFL).
Get over yourself