Armageddon outta here!
OK, I’m very nearly over this whole apocalypse guff. Just as well it’s nearly over, right?
But let us muse for a moment on why the hell we find it all so fascinating. Human beings love to predict the End Times. It’s our thing. We like to riff on doomsday, chatter about eschatology, get our Armageddon on. We wait for the second coming when technically there wasn’t even a first coming.
It’s a fundamental part of religion, the idea that at some point this will all come to a crushing end, those of us who picked the right God and wore the right shoes will be elevated to a higher plane while those with dud tickets suffer for eternity.
Yay! Suffer in your infidel jocks!
You can predict what happens later tonight when, after all this talking, nothing actually happens.
The woo woo wallies will recalculate, the New Age mystics will recalibrate, and a new end date will be pronounced.
This is what end-time movements do. They adjust, and move on. UFO cults, cargo cults, religions and nebulous spiritual movements cannot be dissuaded.
In fact, at the very moment they are proven wrong by still being here, rather than realising that their entire belief system rests on a silty, shifting foundation of bullshit, they believe even harder. They want to believe.
When they open their eyes and realise they’re still here, they go back to their magic book or their ancient calendar or their star maps and rejiggle their ridiculous mathematics and that act itself strengthens their faith (unless, of course, they come to a tragic end like the Heaven’s Gate cult).
The failure of Judgement Day to arrive results in vigorous discussion that arrives at the conclusion that human error, a mistaken sum, is to blame. That discussion itself with all the numbers and speculation and re-adding up then becomes a sort of proof that there will be a Judgement Day - don’t worry, most of the unfaithful will still be wiped out… it’s just that someone forgot to carry the one.
Belief needs an apocalyptic stick/carrot scenario to really amp up the commitment level. An apocalypse can intensify the emotion, strengthen the us-versus-them solidarity, and open the wallet.
So hold on tight, people, because this is not the end. We’ll begin again tomorrow.
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