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Arise, Sarah Ferguson, a Royal who can pay her way

David Penberthy

by David Penberthy

26 May 05:45am

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Filed under: Duchess Of York, Republic, Royal Family, Sarah Ferguson

26 comments

One of the great buzzwords of modern corporate wankery is “monetise”, an unattractive, cooked-up verb meaning to make money out of something. While I’m reluctant to contribute to its spread, it’s about time someone came out and congratulated the Duchess of York for finding a way to monetise the Royal Family.

Show me the money. Photo: AP

Her bold move to sell access to her former husband Prince Andrew for £500,000 has been condemned by many as a debasement of everything the Royal Family stands for.

It is obviously just that, as for centuries the Royal Family has stood firmly for the view that it is the God-given birthright of its eccentric members to live high on the hog at terrific public expense.

There is a disturbing trend in modern democracies such as the United Kingdom, Australia and, most spectacularly, in the United States for cashed-up private citizens to buy access to senior members of government.

What Fergie was proposing was not even remotely disturbing, because it involved the provision of a fee, for absolutely no service in return, from an outfit which is now a politically-neutered historical anachronism.

It was a near-perfect socialist redistribution of wealth, whereby some toffy-nosed name-dropper with more money than sense would have done his dough paying to meet Prince Andrew, in return for which Prince Andrew would do precisely nothing.

But it is only near-perfect. The ideal scenario would be that the £500,000 meeting fee would be redirected to general revenue to relieve the British taxpayers of some of the significant cost of the Royal Family’s upkeep. On the grounds of fairness – especially after the Royals stiffed her out of so much cash with a paltry divorce settlement of just £15,000 a year – it would be nice if Fergie could keep a percentage on a commission basis for her excellent work as a go-between.

Subscribers to Hello! Magazine and cravat-wearers who dream of the golden years of the British Empire will splutter into their amontillado about the nouveau-riche (or in her case, not so riche) conduct of the apparently gouging Sarah Ferguson.

From my vantage point it looks like merely another brilliant contribution from a loud, boisterous, down to earth woman who along with the late and excellent Princess Diana deserves unyielding praise for helping to expose the quaint stupidities which underpin the Royals.

That said, it’s a bit weird that she reckons she can’t actually get a job. But you could probably also blame that on the company she used to keep when she was married. None of them have got one either.

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26 comments

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    • mark says:

      06:05am | 26/05/10

      This whole story puzzles me.  Andrew is a Trade Ambassador or something similar.  Right? 

      So his job is to meet people who want to sell British made stuff overseas and grease a few wheels with the governments of the sales target.  Right?

      So if you want an appointment to meet Andrew, why don’t you call up his secretary and ask her to schedule one?  I’ll bet her tel number is easier to get than that of Ms Ferguson.  And she surely won’t ask for half a mil to put your name in his appointment book.

      What am I missing here??

      Reply

    • acker says:

      07:34am | 26/05/10

      I wonder if this is just an isolated incident, there must have been some reason the reporter pursued this story and the only logical one I can come up with is it has probably happened before. Get the child support agency onto Andrew ..Fergie smile

      Reply

    • T.Chong says:

      07:41am | 26/05/10

      Now , now David, enough of yur lefty republican hate about this poor misunderstood family.
      Many people who post here regard the Windsors + varios hangers on as their “betters”
      They may be leaches and nothing more than “Hooray Harrys and Henriettas” , but a god has appointed them, to be hes/shes/its representative on earth.
      Besides ,you mock those who died FOR them in wars,(or so monarchists claim).
      A pennance of stirring renditions of “Rule Brittania” and “God save the Royal” (not the Sex Pistols cover) is required .
      Now be a good, grateful subject, and join David Flint and chums , by tugging the forelock at the mere sense of wonderment and gratitude that the likes of Fergie has descended from the clouds to dwell amongst us.

      Reply

    • Saskia says:

      11:46am | 26/05/10

      And they bring in tourism alone which is greater than the GDP of Australia.

      You would not last a week keeping up with the official duties and charity work which most of them keep up for a lifetime.

      Its easy to be bitter and take cheap shots.

      Fergie is NOT a royal!

    • Robert S McCormick says:

      04:36pm | 26/05/10

      Fergie was of us! She, poor dear, like so many forelock-tugging Brits and Australian Monarchists, was taken in by the whole charade. I and my family and millions of other Irish people ( I was born there) will never, ever forgive the British Monarchy for what it did to Ireland: They threw people out of their homes, murdered 10s of 1000s. By their acts of dispossession they were responsible for millions starving to death. OK, it was a long time ago but it was the British Crown who were responsible. We owe them nothing. I would not urinate on them if it meant it would save any of those with the blood of the Windsor-Mountbattens running through their in-bred brains

    • Duncan says:

      08:27am | 26/05/10

      Surely a red flag should have gone up for Sarah - come on, a million dollars to meet not David Cameron or Tony Blair .... but Prince Andrew? The only strings he can pull are on his favourite 1960s talking teddy bear

      Reply

    • DG says:

      08:39am | 26/05/10

      “Arise Lady Sarah, I dub thee media Prostitute for the Royal Family”

      Reply

    • Alex says:

      10:31am | 26/05/10

      What a bizarre rant. None of them have got a job? Prince Andrew performed 650 official engagements last year. That’s two a day. Do you write two articles a day, David? I doubt it.

      You also miss the fact that the “ideal scenario” you talk of is in fact precisely what happens. Andrew hawks himself around Arabia all year, in return for which the Saudis buy copious amounts of British arms and other British goods. Everyone’s a winner.

      Reply

    • Philip says:

      10:50am | 26/05/10

      David - whether or not you like the Royal Family, you should check your numbers before you say “at terrific public expense.”

      I checked the sums a few years ago and calculated that the royals cost around 2 bucks a year per head. Now, if you add the bucks they bring IN to the UK from tourism etc, then dysfunctional or not, they are a pretty good earner for old Blighty!

      Reply

    • Crystal says:

      10:55am | 26/05/10

      Once again the shameful actions of the media are ignored.

      We have seen the 6.30 “current affairs” shows disolve into nothing more than gossip, where everybody can be the target of their next sting.

      Now all of our newspapers are heading down the tacky tabloid path and unsurprisingly the tools who write for them can see no problem.

      If i were involved in the “journalistic profession” i would be to ashamed to even read.. let alone comment on (or even worse be a party to) these appaling set up jobs.

      I assume the journalism course will soon be dropped at Uni and replaced by a simple online test on…
      How to use google
      How to rewrite a press release
      and how to set people up.

      you must be so proud “Journalists”.

      Reply

    • Kabam says:

      12:06pm | 26/05/10

      Finally someone is pointing the finger at the people who really should be ashamed.
      I mean come on, how many people can claim they would not go for 1/2 million for merely introducing their ex to someone!
      News of the World should hang their heads for deliberately hurting someone who doesn’t really deserve to be savaged again by the media.  What has Fergie done besides a few toe sucking moments to invite such an attack?
      It’s expensive to raise two princesses you know.

    • Bruce says:

      11:35am | 26/05/10

      Don’t you wish EX’s would just go away !!  But they do not, they just keep hanging on…..just in case !!

      Reply

    • Robert S McCormick says:

      12:05pm | 26/05/10

      Come on, Sarah! You will make a wonderful politician right here in oh-so-pure Australian Politics.
      Sarah is only doing what our politicians do! They charge business people huge sums just to sit in the same room as they do and get a bit of a feed at the same time.
      Like her or loathe her Sarah Ferguson leaves the rest of that in-bred, parasitic family for dead. They do nothing. They contribute nothing. They expect the rest of the world to support them and pay for their holdays, They expect everyone to genuflect and bow down to them. Surprisingly that Great Big Republic the people of the United States of America are the worst offenders.
      Sarah may be a spendthrift, have absolutely no idea about the value of money but she is ALIVE. When the end comes for that ghastly family guess who will come out on top? Sarah Bloody Ferguson! I like her cheek, her brashness, her honesty she, like Camilla, has brought some sanity to that family. They are both down-to-earth, no nonsense, no silly airs and graces women. If we really have to maintain that parasitic office of Governor General here in Australia then the next holder of that job should be Sarah Ferguson. She would really liven things up and get rid of all that stuffed-shirt nonsense we cop at present. Sarah, Come On Down!

      Reply

    • T.Chong says:

      12:18pm | 26/05/10

      Yes Saskia, Crystal, how dare anyone diss the royals ?. they attend charity functions where they are fawned upon, they read a speech someone wrote for them, don a hard hat,visit a hospital, salute the parade, pose for photos then sit down to a free feed. - very onerus, taxing stuff.
      Forget any other group on struggle street,The royals are the true downtrodden.
      The Thais have the right idea, no criticism of the devinely appointed there.

      Reply

    • Robert S McCormick says:

      01:39pm | 26/05/10

      They sound just like our politicians! The only difference is that our pollies make a pretence at working and get very handsomely paid for it. The Royals, on the other hand, do nothing, do no real work, hold their hands out for every freebie going and then they expect the poor UK Taxpayers to hand them untold millions so that they can keep doing nothing. When they deign to grace us with their presence our Governor-General, State Governors and politicians, with their partners in tow, fall over themselves kissing these useless articles’ backsides and guess who pays for all of the fun they have? We do.

    • Crystal says:

      01:53pm | 26/05/10

      I am not in the least concerned with sara or any of the other royals or elites (including media magnates, or heads of “news depts” etc).

      My concern is the intrusion and gutter activities that now pass for journalsim.

      Im actually concerned for the people on so called struggle street. Already the sewer dwelling low-lifes that pass themselves off as journalists are attacking “the strugglers” on aca and today tonight.

      The simple fact that people such as T Chong only sees the side of things as reported by the popular media is the reason for my concern.

    • T.Chong says:

      02:25pm | 26/05/10

      Crystal - serios discussion for a minute.
      Some one trying a bit of influence peddling with THE first family of the Commonwealth for a reasonably large sum of money should be reported and exposed.
      As acker has already pointed out, very good chance this has happened before, or otherwise a gutter rag like NOTW wouldnt be there.The NOTWs follow up where others have been, they wouldnt claim to be serios investigative journalists.
      They may have tried a low entrapment act, but fergie is hardly an innocent babe in the woods, she was obviosly a very willing partner to the whole sad business.

    • Crystal says:

      04:53pm | 26/05/10

      Of course the defence of “she did it” is a winner, but it does not mean this is justifiable news.

      Nevertheless, of late we have seen supposed “quality” news providers (channel 7) do a a similar job on the a NSW politician, who really had done nothing illeagal… or even wrong in many peoples eyes.

      My point remains, that this kind of cheap “populist” news coverage is being force fed in our papers, radio and TV at the expense of valuable important news coverage.

      Your reference to the Thai situation empasizes my point completely. When next you are out for a drink.. ask the people around you what they think/know about the Red Shirts etc… and then ask them what they know about the Sara Ferguson situation.

      I guarantee they will be able to give you a full description of sara, where she was.. what she said… what she was wearing.

      Their response about the Thai situation will be also about what they wear (red shirts).. and that will be about it.

      The fact that Penberthy and the punch effectivly support this kind of reporting says much about them.

    • jaystar says:

      02:12pm | 26/05/10

      how much real money do the royals bring in seperate from losers who go gaga

      Reply

    • AFR says:

      02:45pm | 26/05/10

      As a side issue, shouldn’t the royals be out there drumming up business for ALL members of the commonwealth, not just the UK?

      Reply

    • Robert S McCormick says:

      04:47pm | 26/05/10

      Yes, AFR, they should but it will never happen. They are British to their bootstraps. They don’t, despite the pretty speeches, give a Tinker’s Cuss about the Commonwealth except when it means they get a free holiday, expensive gifts and all those pathetic, peasants who still belive they are “Special People” fawn and grovel in order to get a gloved-hand handshake. What’s Betty’s problem? Scared she might get some nasty disease from the Colonials if she actually allowed her precious skin to touch a real human being?

    • nosthow says:

      05:21pm | 26/05/10

      Why doesnt this spendthrift go out and get a job ? Surely Harrods would hire her to work the perfume counter and she could get a nice little council flat and maybe one day meet someone sane !

      Reply

    • sam says:

      07:31pm | 26/05/10

      don’t you have to pay out some thing to see the pope as well before they will let you see him

      Reply

    • Feral Wombat says:

      04:44am | 27/05/10

      You might be thinking of the fee that they used to charge to get into Heaven. I saw JP2 and it didn’t cost me a single lira. Although I did get the full frisk + metal detector search.

      I suspect that plenty of people request one-on-one meetings with the Pope to discuss various commercial propositions. Man does not live on bread alone and those old buildings must cost a fortune to restore. Would it really be such a surprise if the Pope charged a consultancy fee under these circumstances?

    • stephen says:

      08:01pm | 26/05/10

      Red hair and freckles. She’s a bomb.
      But with such a complexion, you really need personality.
      I have only known school-children with such qualities.

      ‘Ah,such is life!’

      Reply

    • Timmo says:

      06:57am | 27/05/10

      She is very popular in America, they have obviously accepted her. She had to go and find her own place with it all. I think Americans very much like the Royals of all types, boils and all. They should have looked after her a little bit better than what they have done. The pomposity of it all would make you sick.

      Anyway, getting off that no news article, I would like to know why the Queen didn’t apologize to the Aboriginal People in regard to the English destroying their Race. I think that put the Royals on the bottom of the list for me. Wasn’t really Kevin Rudds call really, but he had to do it for them. Howard wouldn’t and didn’t as one would expect from a would be loyalist seeking Knighthood. Can’t buy them anymore John, bad luck. And while the Queen is at it what about apologizing to the Irish for attempting to Destroy them as well. That’s how Australia was Born, Right. Didn’t work tho, what a shame for them. Better luck next time Mrs Liz. Well they can’t sing the old song, “There’ll always be an England” anymore, it’s all about, “The Empire Strikes Back”. And it is striking them very heavily at the moment.

      Reply
 
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