Are we all glad that 2012 is just about over?
Not a vintage year, 2012. Only destined to be remembered by the Brits who suddenly, sadly, became good at sport, even Andy Murray.
Did we learn anything that 2013 might find useful?
The bloodshed and madness in Syria continued. America once again tried to absorb more reports of gun carnage in a classroom. The National Rifle Association decided the solution to more dead kids was more guns.
That nation’s extravagant, interminable Presidential campaign rambled on and on and on costing an indecent $6 billion. No wonder the US is now looking over a fiscal cliff.
Political leadership was in found wanting in Australia too. Prime Minister Julia Gillard’s misogyny speech was perhaps the only highlight. At least it had the ring of authenticity in the plastic, venal world of Canberra where every utterance is greeted as either triumph or disaster.
Compare Gillard’s sharp, stinging passionate rebuke to the flat and forced Treasurer Wayne Swan in question time. A man with the charisma of a shop-window dummy, but sadly, not the repartee.
For further lowlights, take your pick.
The late night texts of Slipper and Ashby, Craig Thomson’s credit card bills and the interminable AWU slush fund affair. The hilarious moment Christopher Pyne transformed from mincing poodle to African gazelle as he sprinted from the parliamentary chamber to avoid voting with the aforementioned Thomson.
With a federal election due in 2013, it’s unlikely to improve.
We did learn in 2012 that South Korea has a thriving pop music industry. Tragically though we discovered this from a chap called Psy and his dance number Gangnam Style. A billion hits on youtube, all wanting to marvel at a chubby middle-age man, singing ‘heeeey sexy lady’. Who’d have thought that many people could be wrong?
It makes you feel more sympathy to the mad folk running the north of Korea. Clearly they are only testing those long-range ballistic missiles in case Psy releases another single.
We learned new meanings for words this year. Trolls no longer live under fairy tale bridges but exist online and seem to upset people.
Memes were invented for people who find the 140-character limit of Twitter arduous. Grey comes in 50 different shades. Eastwooding is talking at an empty chair.
We learned from Randling, a quiz featuring smartly-attired, smug non-celebrities, that Andrew Denton makes bad television too. Randling was so appalling the ABC is bringing back Spicks and Specks in 2013, a show as bland as your average Guy Sebastian song. Dallas returned to TV, and this time they really did kill JR.
We learned Port Adelaide is still broke, that the Crows still lose important finals, but now write their own rules on player contracts as well, that Australian fast bowlers are made of glass and good Australian tennis players belong to history.
That our most feted sport star this year was a horse tells you all you need to know about our sporting fortunes.
2012 has at least taught us not to get too excited at the thought of playing England for the Ashes in 2013. Humility is perhaps something 2012 did teach us, although it was too late for our male swimmers at the London Olympics, especially the 4 x 100m team who thought they had won the race before it started. However, local hero, Matt Cowdrey made us all feel proud.
So farewell 2012. At the very least you gave us the excellent date of 12/12/12. It will be another 100 years before we see your like again.
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