Pippa Middleton, the sister of Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, AKA the girl in “that dress,” has written a party book.
According to Penguin, who paid six figures for the hardcover tome, it’s “a comprehensive seasonal guide to simple and creative entertaining”.
Phew, something for everyone then.
This is not exactly new territory for Pippa; her parents made a fortune from the business of knees-ups, called “Party Pieces”. One of those enviably simple and clever business ideas you just wish you’d thought of.
But by far the best thing about Ms Middleton’s upcoming book is that the all-knowing author has committed the gravest crimes in the history of party hosting: upstaging her sister at her own wedding.
And that, in my opinion, shoots Pippa’s book straight to the top of this year’s must-read list. Imagine what other surprises she has in store?
Truth be told, the only problem with book is its title, because it should be called “The How To Not Have A Party Book.”
Here’s how it would work.
The first chapter could be a blow by blow guide to her own personal victory: stealing the limelight in five easy steps. While the remaining chapters could be drawn from the experiences and skill sets of her bevy of new royal connections.
For example…
What to wear: Brother in law by marriage, Prince Harry could have a substantial cameo here, starting with how to look great in the buff and possibly who not to invite. As well as etiquette around the appropriate use of cameras and mobile phones at private events. Hello Las Vegas!
What to say: Most material for this section could be provided care of the Windsor family’s ample idiosyncrasies. Will’s grandpa Prince Phillip could take care of introducing foreign guests. And Prince Charles could shed some light on the finer points of talking to plants.
What to eat and drink: Maybe drag Fergie in for that one, her Weight Watchers connections would ensure guests won’t leave too burdened down with calories, and HRH could throw in her two cents on the best G’n’T mix.
Party on.
Follow me on Twitter: @lucyjk
Comments close on this post at 8pm Sunday AEST
Facebook Recommendations
Read all about it
Punch live
Up to the minute Twitter chatter
RT @axmcc: Check out this picture of K Rudd threatening to punch himself that ran with @drpiotrowski's gay marriage yarn. http://t.co/qG5LP…
Recent posts
The latest and greatest
The Punch is moving house
Good morning Punchers. After four years of excellent fun and great conversation, this is the final post…
Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?
I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…
Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”
In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…
Nosebleed Section
choice ringside rantings
From: Hasbro, go straight to gaol, do not pass go
Tim says:
They should update other things in the game too. Instead of a get out of jail free card, they should have a Dodgy Lawyer card that not only gets you out of jail straight away but also gives you a fat payout in compensation for daring to arrest you in the first place. Instead of getting a hotel when you… [read more]From: A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go
Kel says:
If you want a festival for older people or for families alike, get amongst the respectable punters at Bluesfest. A truly amazing festival experience to be had of ALL AGES. And all the young "festivalgoers" usually write themselves off on the first night, only to never hear from them again the rest of… [read more]Gentle jabs to the ribs
Superman needs saving
Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more
Most commented