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All aboard the conspiracy bus

Tory Shepherd

by Tory Shepherd

30 Jul 05:41am

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Filed under: Election 2010, Journalism, Media

25 comments

All aboard the conspiracy bus.

This is not a picture of Tony Abbott's campaign bus.

The media pack following Opposition Leader Tony Abbott, in the absence of external stimulus in the form of policies, has turned inward.

We now theorise wildly about everything to do with this campaign. The trip is tightly controlled (although apparently not as rigid and paranoid as the Gillard campaign, where the media pack is rumoured to
be on the edge of revolt).

We never know where we’re going next.

So in those idle moments when we’re waiting for the Coalition’s annointed one to spring onto a stage somewhere, or when we’re sitting on a plane with our myriad electronic devices switched off, we speculate.

He hasn’t been to Adelaide yet, maybe we’ll end up there. But Gillard’s just gone there and he wouldn’t want to look like he’s following her. But there are some really marginal seats he needs to get to and the electorates are feeling ignored, so maybe it will be the City of Churches after all.

The spectacular fall from grace of Liberal candidate David Barker – he of the anti-Islamic comments and the topless poses amongst the ferns – prompt more Machiavellian thoughts.

The first question was “How on Earth did he ever get preselected in the first place?” Then, very quickly, there were revelations senior Labor members had been warned about his extreme views on Muslims.
Apparently they’d been warned he was a bit of a homophobe as well.

Soooo… maybe he was parachuted into that unwinnable seat in Western Sydney as a patsy, we speculate. There to raise those sort of popular bits of bigotry in the name of the Coalition, get that word out there, before the Party Proper feigned shock and horror and quickly got rid of him.

A neat way to speak to both sides, maybe.

And, in the wake of that leak on Gillard, all sorts of theories came out of the woodwork.

Was it Rudd? Or was it someone wanting to discredit Rudd? Or was it Rudd thinking people would think it was someone wanting to discredit Rudd?

You see how all this is interesting, but ultimately baseless and useless speculation.

It’s not, however, all our fault. We need more distractions. We need real leaders with real policies. Real debates.

The only joys of this election campaign lie in the rogue candidates, the David Barkers of this world.

The media ends up seizing on the smallest gaffe with joy. Was that a slip up on tax rates? Is Abbott’s tongue really protruding with concentration as he carefully works a mini excavator? Did that
candidate just say something that veers slightly away from the party line?

Of course the one conspiracy theory that is most likely to be true is that this charade is designed to restrict proper analysis. Early starts, late nights, hours on planes without connections to the outside world, fatigue, trips halfway across the country followed by short conferences followed by a trip all the way back.

This Magical Mystery Tour is really about keeping us like mushrooms.

Honestly, if they were smart they they’d keep us drunk all the time rather than putting us on ‘dry planes’, ensuring we have no free time, and keeping us busy reporting on trivialities. Let us impair our own critical faculties, it would be a win-win for all of us.

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Most commented

414Australia, you have nothing to fear but fear itself
353"Gifting", "journey" and other words we hate
309Thomson didn't answer the question everyone is asking
255Who murdered the Arts degree?
246A big day for Thomson, who thus far is guilty of nothing...
231Craig Thomson speaks. Meanwhile, in Australia...
230South Australia. It's the middle bottom bit.
224The most laughable, err, spoof since Einfeld

25 comments

Show oldest | newest first

    • Matt Holden says:

      07:20am | 30/07/10

      It’s a media management strategy borrowed from the military. You’re embedded. Just like the journalists “covering” the Iraq war with US forces ...

      Reply

    • casba says:

      08:05am | 30/07/10

      Or, if you are anything like our PM, you are claiming the independence of feminism on the one hand, but you are are selling your sexuality and girlie image to the “Women’s Weekly” as well-just to cover your options. Now that really IS media management. Or perhpas it is selling your soul for the price of a vote- or the price or a glossy magazine.

      Reply

    • Ryan says:

      11:31am | 31/07/10

      And you have to wonder whether she did that on an annual leave day or at the taxpayers expense on a day she was being paid by all of us to RUN THE COUNTRY not pose for womans mags?

    • Christian Real says:

      12:50pm | 01/08/10

      Fact is Ryan, Liberals who live in glass houses should not throw stones.Talking about days out at taxpayer’s expense,or misusing Taxpayer’s money, lets have a look at what your mate Tony Abbott has been up to.
      From an online news story “Battlelines drawn over Abbott travel rorts claims”, written by Emma Rodgers and was found at http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories.2010/07/28/2966058.htm
      Here are some extracts from that story :
      “An investigation from Glenn Milne writing for The Drum says while touring the country to attend promotional events for his book,which was released last year,Mr Abbott claimed the cost of some of his airfares.”
      “The Drum has matched the dates of Mr Abbott’s book tour to expense claims he made,which are detailed in department of Finance documents,”
      “The documents show that Mr abbott made several claims for expenses at times that coincide with events he attended for the book”
      “His claims include; the cost of airfares for an event in canberra on July 30 at the National Press Club, two in Melbourne on August 3 and 6 at Dymocks book shop and a “Liberal Party Book Club Event” , one in Brisbane Institute on August 11 and one in Perth on August 15.”
      “The cost of the travel that coincides with his promotional events came to $5,689.38 with another $962 for the cost of using Commonwealth cars on the trips.”

    • Ryan says:

      12:30pm | 02/08/10

      @Christian Real: that link doesn’t work..

    • Adam DIver says:

      08:46am | 30/07/10

      My God Tory, there are policies out there just no reporters telling the less than exciting story of detailed policy. I was under the impresion this election was based on personalities because that is how the partys wanted to present themselves. Pieces like this are confirming the view its a personality contest because reporters and media think these mundane side-issues will sell the papers. That is possibly true but no need for this stupid opinion piece to pretend to be reporting on policy.

      Abbott anounced 1 billion for mental health, a sizable policy announcement considering the number of people with a mental health issue and I have seen almost no coverage on it other than the fact I heard it mentioned. No idea what the policy entails. This is occurring on both sides.

      Reply

    • Adam Diver says:

      10:41am | 30/07/10

      Here Tory, I will do your job for you. These are policies (or agendas in labors case) taken from their respective websites. It took me 5 minutes and would be less than 50% of the infomation published.

      Liberal

      - 28m for events promotion
      - Company tax drop 1.5%
      - Ring road for mackay
      - $89m child care affordability
      - Reduce immigration to 170,000
      - $50m crime prevention
      - $90m for border security
      - $760m for school cost
      - Nauru assylum seeker processing
      - Changes to assylum seeker processing (document destruction etc)
      - $1.5 billion for mental health

      Labor
      - DIsabilty strategy
      - COnnecting renewables to the grip
      - Health reform
      - NBN
      - Resource Tax

      Feel free to send me part of your wage for my help. For an extra $50 I will even give you the links to the sites.

    • Chris says:

      09:06am | 30/07/10

      Tory if you really want to write something useful then please go and analyse (if you can) the garbage that was written for the Prime Minister (as her guest column) in today’s (Friday’s) Advertiser.  It was an insult to anyone with a disability, nothing more than spouting meaningless phrases about how bad having a disability is (we know that thanks) and how wonderful Labor is for fixing the problems by flinging more money at those who can talk the loudest about the problems. The reality is that Labor has done damn all for disability services, has no long term strategy for doing anything (waiting on yet another report from the Productivity Commission), and is just shifting money around to look as if more is being spent.  It is preying on the most disadvantaged people in the community and their families in an effort to win votes.
      Yes, the Coalition has issues too but Labor dumped a very important initiative the minute it got into office because it would have given many more people with disabilities a voice and improved the quality of their care - for very little financial outlay. 
      All Ms Gillard cares about is getting into the Lodge. She would rather appear in the Women’s Weekly and the Advertiser than at a meeting where the real work about disability is being done. I am fed up!

      Reply

    • Jack Thomas says:

      10:07am | 30/07/10

      Seems you can’t win either way Tory. On one hand you’ve acknowledged that the media is a Left leaning bunch without the slightest imparitality or ethical standard.

      But on the other, your boss won’t print anything that doesn’t go along with the rest of the media pack and just reprints the Labor press releases.

      Then I read your comments “It’s not, however, all our fault. We need more distractions. We need real leaders with real policies. Real debates…The only joys of this election campaign lie in the rogue candidates, the David Barkers of this world.” and I wonder.

      Pauline Hanson had a shelf life of David Barker if not for the likes of you in the media. The media perpetuate them, talk about them, publish them, then whinge about Howard’s dog whistle. The media and the Left kept Pauline going for years longer than anyone on the Liberal side would have (remember she was booted very early by them). 

      I reckon if you were worth anything as a journo you’d write about Health (like the massive failure of the GP Superclinincs, or the failure of Rudd/Gillard to get the hospitals under Federal control).

      Hey, maybe even dig 1cm to find the David Barkers amongst the Labor and Green candidates.

      Sorry, that would require getting out of bed wouldn’t it. can’t see that happening.

      Reply

    • Zac says:

      10:09am | 30/07/10

      How come 3/4 th of the blog is about Tony Abbott and the Liberal party? It is quite hard to find a treatment for “Lefties Bias Syndrome” (LBS) and that is the case with aunty (ABC) as well. But a good leader can surgically fix it. Time to clear up the plank in your eyes before you try clear up the dust in someone else’s eyes (Ref: Bible).

      Reply

    • Interloper says:

      05:30pm | 30/07/10

      Umm ... because she’s traveling with the Abbott campaign? I’m just guessing here.

    • Lee from WA says:

      10:37am | 30/07/10

      There are people out there, like me, who are minor party candidates who never get a hungry press pack chasing them. If you’re that desperate for policies, why not go chase some of them down? Instead, the media gazes deeply into its own navel.

      Reply

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    • Ben says:

      01:14pm | 30/07/10

      Well at least you’re making more sense than Eric.

    • stephen says:

      12:06pm | 31/07/10

      Is that with /or/ without Mad\Mag ?

    • Gregg says:

      03:13pm | 31/07/10

      You could be on the wrong bus Tory for I hear there’s a conspiracy afoot for Julia to release a new old policy called NBN, a bit of hinting going on though with the twirling of some wires but perhaps she was just feeling for implanted bugs.
      And then a couple of inner circle conspiracies there too to have us believe I imagine she’ll have found the great justification that Get Smart Conroy would have us believe was not even warranted along with any sort of a business plan!
      Yep, just another have faith conspiracy there, just like all the other spending that occurred under Julias direct BER and lap tops gaze or was she working under the table on birthing hr own conspiracies?
      I hear there’s a conspiracy afoot that with Tony being for and agin smugglers he’s being encouraged to give budgies a softer trip with boxers.
      Any truth to that you may be able to check out?

      And of course the other one floating about is that there’s some Union ticketed bus mechanics about who have been given the job of outfitting the bus with some pedals and high friction hubs to see if Tony can be enticed into more pedalling to wear him out.

      Reply

    • Charles Kelly says:

      11:32pm | 31/07/10

      Bravo Tory! Just when I thought I’d never read a more pathetic piece of vacuous drivel, I read your bio. I must say though, you’re at least entitled to some form of respect for actually convincing some idiot to pay you to write this garbage.

      Reply

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