AFL Grand Final Day is a great day.

Ballet and lawn that needs mowing free zone. Pic: Ellen Smith.

For supporters of the two teams that make it to the big dance, there’s nothing like the week of expectation and edge of the seat excitement. 

The teams are named, the Grand Final parade rolls through Melbourne, there’s one more sleepless night…then the siren sounds and it’s on!

And even if your team spent the season battling for the wooden spoon, AFL Grand Final Day is still a great day.  It’s your last week of talking footy.  You weigh up the odds, look at the form and you have to make one vital decision. 

Whose Grand Final Party are you going to attend?  Because for any man who calls himself a footy fan, it’s unthinkable that you’d miss the game, or watch it by yourself at home.

It’s far too important a day to just let it go to waste.  Cos here’s the thing; Grand Final Day is a leave pass, one glorious day when all men can put aside any concerns about their relationship, and their marital or parental responsibilities.

On Grand Final Day, in response to any query from their partner, all a man needs to say is, “but babe, it’s Grand Final Day”.

“I was hoping you might mow the lawn today”. “But babe, it’s Grand Final Day”.

“I thought you were taking your daughter to Kinder ballet today.” “Aww come on babe, it’s Grand Final Day”.

“Should you be drinking beer at 9:30 in the morning?” “But babe, it’s Grand Final Day”.

“It looks like there’s 5 kilos of Scotch Fillet in the Fridge”. ‘Where?”

“Right there next to the whole lamb!  Are you having a party?” “A few of the boys are coming over, it’s Grand Final Day dontchaknow.”

“You didn’t get home til 3am last nite”. “Really”.

“You spewed in the washing basket”. “C’mon babe, it was Grand Final Day”.

Now something amazing has happened.  For the third time in 114 years, there’s a drawn Grand Final.  In the AFL, that means no extra time, no penalty shoot out, no golden point.  In the AFL, that means we do it all again a week later.

The two teams go through the recovery and training process one more time.  The match committees select their teams one more time.  The fans queue for tickets and paint their faces one more time.

And one more time, when my wife says, “Why are you cracking a beer?  I thought you were taking our daughter to ballet and mowing the lawn today.”

“But babe, it’s Grand Final Day… again”.  Here’s hoping for another draw.

33 comments

Show oldest | newest first

    • Gracie says:

      11:45am | 01/10/10

      Its nice to see all those pasty Melbournians enjoying themselves, bless them but I haven’t a clue what an AFL is.

    • George Allen says:

      01:07pm | 01/10/10

      I think it grows on an afl tree,or it stands for Angels Flying Low

    • Gracie says:

      07:55pm | 01/10/10

      Thanks George I’ll try and get one from the Nursery, they seem quite popular in Melbourne, do you think it will grow in South East Queensland?

    • Barry says:

      08:26pm | 01/10/10

      Don’t worry, your grandkids will know.

    • Davo from St Kilda says:

      08:32pm | 01/10/10

      Poor sad Gracie. You read an AFL article, took the time to reply to it then pretend that you don’t know what Australia’s national football code is. And throw in a little Melbourne-bashing as well. Does it make you feel good putting down people from another state and people who follow a different football code?

    • Gregg says:

      10:28pm | 01/10/10

      Just ask around for a guy called Brendan Fevolva Gracie for he hails from further south and being a bit of a gorilla he can probably get up to all sorts of tree tricks.
      Just make sure you haven’t got a full basket of washing ready to hang out though if you ask him around for he might just piss on it for you.

      There’s a smaller polished top guy heading your way to and there’s nothing but AFL that reflect off it.

    • Ask a stupid question says:

      11:55pm | 01/10/10

      I think you’ve got them mixed up with Dropbears, or should that be Lions ?

    • Jeefunk says:

      11:48am | 01/10/10

      Well, another draw won’t mean another reply. At best, it will be ‘aww but babe, it’s extra time’.

      While on this subject, is there some way to punish women who organise social activities and weddings on GF day? Can it be classed as treason?

    • Nicole says:

      12:01pm | 01/10/10

      No. Women will always conquer. And it’s called revenge for all those annoying things men do !

    • Jeefunk says:

      01:02pm | 01/10/10

      Fair call but I’m not sure about the ‘conquer’ part. After all, I’ve never attended any events that competed with a GF. I’d rather deal with a year’s worth of dirty looks and an extended silent treatment.

    • Adam says:

      01:19pm | 01/10/10

      @Jeefunk
      Yes, answer honestly next time she asks ‘does my bum look big in this?”

    • T.Chong says:

      12:00pm | 01/10/10

      When men / blokes talk VFL ,only one team is ever spoken about with the reverance and awe they deserve :  COLLINGWOOD.
      As for the ARL, after the Dragons win last week (captain and play chief playmakers wore pink jumpers) its hard to know who to hate more.
      Supporting the Dragons is as bad as supporting the Broncos, and as for the Roosters, no Trotskyist could ever support anything from Sydneys Eastern suburbs.
      Collingwood by lots. Dragons by 7

    • stephen says:

      12:31pm | 01/10/10

      Saints by 35 points.
      Dragons by 5

    • Nathan says:

      12:55pm | 01/10/10

      Stephen - Well said, Its looking like the Saints will March in Melbourne and Sydney this weekend.

    • Jeefunk says:

      01:03pm | 01/10/10

      Pies by 60.
      Chooks by 2.

    • hugh says:

      01:05pm | 01/10/10

      Saints threw the kitchen sink at the pies last week and still couldnt get over the line

      It will be a bloodbath - Pies by 180

    • Ask a stupid question says:

      08:33pm | 02/10/10

      You were very close, Jeefunk. Pies by 56 in the end.

    • Lauren says:

      12:44pm | 01/10/10

      And what about the women who like the footy just as much?? Thats right, only guys are allowed. Pathetic.

    • Gavin Hodge says:

      04:46pm | 01/10/10

      Cheer up pussy-cat smile

    • jessdrake says:

      10:06am | 31/12/10

      no dont worry i love the footy just as much as any other guy and was there watching at least the first grand final with a drink in my hand (not beer) intently, hopig that collingwood would lost

    • TheBigMicka says:

      01:49pm | 01/10/10

      You can come to the Grand Final party Lauren.  Bring salad.

    • David says:

      02:22pm | 01/10/10

      LOL!!!! omg! Best comment of the YEAR!!!!

      you deserves and award for that! BOOM HEadshot!

    • Gregg says:

      10:39pm | 01/10/10

      Come On David, you know there’s no salad served at GF parties but any dame coming topless or near it for a wet Tshirt competition at half time is welcome.
      But only if she keeps the stubbies and party pies, snags and whatever coming out of the kitchen.

    • Brad says:

      02:12pm | 01/10/10

      There are better things to do than watch a GF. It’s media overload that turns us off even more.

    • Gavin Hodge says:

      04:49pm | 01/10/10

      Well enjoy mowing the lawn on Saturday. Or is it kinder ballet?

    • Eric says:

      02:44pm | 01/10/10

      Whats better then seeing the saints miss out on a flag ? Watching them do it 3 times in 12 months.
      Pies by 35

    • Michael says:

      04:48pm | 01/10/10

      Almost as good as watching the Lions deny the Pies twice in 12 months.

    • Kate says:

      03:29pm | 01/10/10

      It’s not all about men! Some of us women love footy just as much, if not more, than our partners. Grand Final day is one of the most important days of the year for me, even though my team hasn’t been involved for 11 long years…

    • Eno The Wonderdog says:

      03:35pm | 01/10/10

      Greatest GF day ever involved a function at the Fitzroy Lions pub afterwards that involved an Elvis impersonator and all the the Kentucky Fried & donuts you could eat. I seem to remember standing on a table with a mate leading the pub in various club songs in Elvis’s break. Fun was had! Hangover was bad..

    • jaimes (30-something female) says:

      07:22pm | 01/10/10

      Spent last week with the family, all screaming at the tv, eating pizza, drinking Jacks ... good times! Now we get to do it all over again? Awesome, mate :D

      Oh, and my money’s on the Saints.

    • Barry says:

      08:12pm | 01/10/10

      I’ve been using the Grand Final as an excuse to do no work for two weeks. I love this country *sniff*.

    • Claude Balls. says:

      09:52am | 02/10/10

      Groan.

      At least it’s more productive than stopping for an election but not fing much and it’s all over quicker.

    • Sam says:

      11:57am | 02/10/10

      Can’t stand Eddie Maguire, repulsed at the thoought of a gloating E,M.,  GO THE SAINTS!.
      Similar feelings for Freddy Fittler, GO THE SAINTS!

 

Facebook Recommendations

Read all about it

Punch live

Up to the minute Twitter chatter

Anthony Sharwood

RT @gregprichard: The Victorian Sports Minister has just sent the New Zealand Prime Minister a commiserative email. #stateoforigin

Anthony Sharwood

@VanillathunderV fair comeback. But seriously, if that was a try then I'll book my skiing in Queensland this year

Anthony Sharwood

@BrettS69 the loveliest thing about post-origin is the sledges from gloating qlders #ratherbeagoodloserthanapoorwinner

Anthony Sharwood

That is the video referee howler to end all howlers to end all howlers to end all howlers to end all howlers #stateoforigin

Recent posts

The latest and greatest

Punch on: Open thread 24/05/2012

Punch on: Open thread 24/05/2012

Football happened last night. One colour reigned supreme. Or there was a draw. This open thread was written…

If sports movies have taught us anything, NSW will win

If sports movies have taught us anything, NSW will win

In the classic Hollywood sports flick script, a ragtag bunch of losers and misfits take on the arrogant…

Schapelle has done her time

Schapelle has done her time

Schapelle Corby has served more than seven years in Kerobokan prison for attempting to import 4.2 kilos…

Nosebleed Section

choice ringside rantings

From: They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments

Michael S says:

"A teacher at Geelong Grammar had criticised her for using words that were too long, which had left her confused and had made her doubt her ability to write essays. She became ''quite distressed'' when her English marks began to fall." I can sympathise. My scholastic mentors conveyed to me a causal relationship… [read more]

From: Welfare for breeders is a bonus for everyone

Change Up! says:

I have no problem paying my taxes. As a single, childless person on a very decent income, I can afford it and not have my life severely altered. Plus I understand that my taxes paying for things like schools, childcare and infrastructure is ultimately a good thing. A better community is better for me… [read more]

Gentle jabs to the ribs

They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments

They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments

A private school girl’s family is sueing her elite, extremely expensive private school for not… Read more

242 comments

Newsletter

Read all about it

Sign up to the free daily Punch newsletter