A simple remedy for all domestic cleaning disputes

Fiddler says:

07:36am | 19/02/13

by “secret men’s business” do you mean posting here all day about the one man you would go gay for, Tony Abbott?

Sickemrex says:

07:38am | 19/02/13

Yep, our women’s rights champion at work. Hmmm, I wonder what you’d say if Tony Abbott said that?

Alfie says:

09:09am | 19/02/13

How’s life in Kingswood Country acotrel?

Smidgeling says:

10:25am | 19/02/13

Fiddler wins. Any further argument is invalid.

Patrick says:

12:02pm | 19/02/13

Agree with Smidgeling.

Paul says:

01:30pm | 19/02/13

BURN!

Scotchfinger says:

03:45pm | 19/02/13

nice one acotrel! But what do you do once the computer is turned off and the 2-D girls have gone for the day?

Tubesteak says:

08:37am | 19/02/13

I agree and think it takes even less time.

There is no need to vacuum or wash the floors any more than once per week.

Washing up is done by dishwashers or only when there are no more plates/cutlery left.

Toilets can be scrubbed out once per week and it takes 3 minutes. Basins can be wiped over in less than 2 minutes.

But it took myself and my father 3 hours to mow my parent’s 2 acre block on the weekend and I still have the sunburn. That happens every 2-3 weeks. Then there’s all the rest of the gardening, plus washing windows, cleaning gutters etc etc etc. I do this because my parents are getting old and I think they need a bit of help.

Borderer says:

09:05am | 19/02/13

I mow, wash up and do the laundry. Laundry is about five loads, 20 minutes to hang each and another 30 to take down the lot, add another 10 to sort colours, a bit over two hours all told. The missus complains about mopping, vacuming and cleaning the bathroom, 40 minutes total…. She complains, I offer to swap, she shuts up…. harmony….

The thing that grates her is I sit in the rumpus room (next to the laundry) between loads playing my PS3 or watching a movie while I wait for a cycle to finish. Apparently having fun while doing housework is FORBIDDEN!!!!!

Rose says:

09:16am | 19/02/13

Maybe the difference is that the people who take longer to do it actually do it properly.

SAm says:

09:49am | 19/02/13

I completely agree Tubesteak.
Borderer, 20 mins to hang and 30 to take down each load? Gimme 5 each and maybe 5-10 to put a load away
Depends on load size though I guess

Jim Moriarty says:

09:55am | 19/02/13

My partner does the lawns and gardens because I’m shit at it. I can’t even start the damn thing and kill plants when I look at them.

The trade off is I do the bathroom, which includes the cat litter.

Organised Hangman says:

10:12am | 19/02/13

SAm - Gimme 5 [to hang & take down washing load] each and maybe 5-10 to put a load away.

Depends on your style. If you pull out stuff from the washer in hanging order and match up socks as you go, you will spend more unloading the washer, but less time at the line. If you dump from washer to basket, you spend longer at the line.

SAm says:

11:01am | 19/02/13

lol whats this organising thing you speak of? I take everything, throw it over the line, and peg small stuff only or if its windy I’ll peg more stuff. When it comes to putting away stuff I simply dump the collected dry stuff on my bed, throw into piles for who it belongs to (and subcategorise if i can be stuffed), then take the persons clothes to their room, quick fold as I place in the appropriate draw.
Doesnt take that long once you have a system going

Rob says:

11:10am | 19/02/13

Rose - glad you used ‘maybe’

Tubesteak says:

11:23am | 19/02/13

Rose
If you want something done right then do it yourself.
Not sure what “properly” means when it comes to:
washing - throw clothes in machine. Put powder in. Turn machine on. Take clothes out when finished and hang to dry.
dishes - no evidence of dirt/foodstuffs = clean
vacuuming - put cleaner head on floor and turn on. Swipe over every area of floor. Done.
mopping - similar to vacuuming. Drag wet mop over floor

None of that is rocket science. Nor is it all that time-consuming.

Borderer says:

11:30am | 19/02/13

SAm
Yes I do take longer hanging things out, as I order and pair things so that when I take the clothes down its much quicker and sorted so that’s 30 minutes for taking down all the loads together. Also I have a baby daughter who goes through an enormous amount of clothes everyday, her record is 4 outfits in 20minutes…

SAm says:

11:48am | 19/02/13

@ Borderer..ah yep, kids clothes. I try to keep my young son in Onesies (only 1 thing to wash/hang/store!). My daughter on the other hand is already a little princess however thankfully she keeps clean mostly

30 mins for 5 loads is pretty impressive I gotta say though!

AMy says:

04:49pm | 19/02/13

Yeah. That’s actually the problem. Men think it can be done quickly, do a half-arsed job and then claim they’ve done it. Meanwhile we get stuck re-doing it properly and they still puff up their chests and expect praise for their ‘efforts’.

Next time you are doing the dishes - wash the glasses so that they are actually CLEAR. Vacuum/mop the corners and under things. PUT THE VACUUM CLEANER AWAY. Separate the washing so that the whites don’t come out grey or pink. Put things away where they actually belong (not the just the nearest place out of sight). Wipe ALL the surfaces, not just the ones that appear dirty.

You know what. Forget it. Just go outside and mow the freakin yard and leave the rest up to us.

marley says:

08:13am | 19/02/13

Your stepdaughter got a “bit miffed” because you made a patronising, sexist comment?  I simply don’t understand that at all.

ou know, acotrel, I have to think that if the ALP is attractive to someone with your outlook, it must have flaws so fundamental that it, like the stegosaurus, is doomed to extinction.

Joel M-J says:

09:23am | 19/02/13

Going off his comments, I can’t help but wonder if acotrel used to ride a Stegosaurus.

Elphaba says:

08:36am | 19/02/13

Bugger.  Yet another example of why I’m a crap woman.  I completely agree with you.  Nothing makes me procrastinate more than the bloody housework.  I half-heartedly clean and then go “screw it” and read a book instead.  So long as the dishes are done and the kitchen is clean, the rest gets put off for as long as possible.

I’m more the big clean every few months or so, but weekly, I’ll find just about any excuse to avoid it.

marley says:

08:51am | 19/02/13

@Tim - agree on carpets, disagree on bathrooms.  Since I’m the one that wants a pristine bathroom, I clean it.  Seems fair enough to me.

Rose says:

09:19am | 19/02/13

The bathroom really does need to be scrubbed spotless weekly though, doesn’t it? Ours is scrubbed weekly but given a wipe over every couple of days, by my son

Mouse says:

09:31am | 19/02/13

I just do it when it needs it. If the floor has mess on it, I’ll clean it. If there is stuff on the kitchen bench, I’ll wipe it. If the washing machine is full, I’ll turn it on. Bathrooms really should be scrubbed weekly though.  I have never been able to fathom why some people comment that the floor was so clean, you could eat off of it.  What’s wrong with the table, much more comfortable imo!  lol :o)

morrgo says:

09:44am | 19/02/13

Actually, scrubbing bathrooms spotless weekly is a hygiene issue.  Before you ask back, I do it.

With you on daily vaccing of the carpet, though: if someone physically needs such dust-free carpets, they should have hard floors.

Tim says:

10:22am | 19/02/13

Actually,
on the bathroom, I should have specified it definitely depends on how much use it gets.
I’m at work for fairly long hours so our bathroom doesn’t really get used that much other than daily showers and occasional toilet usage. It gets cleaned when it needs it.

If you had kids or were at home more often, then it probably would need more frequent cleaning.

We manage to clean our house completely in a couple of hours a week at most. I simply don’t know how people in similar situations to myself claim that they spend days or more cleaning.

SCC says:

11:05am | 19/02/13

Sounds like you just picked the wrong “other half” who was apparently a big lazy mummy’s boy and you didn’t get on with his mummy.
Bit unfair to use your personal experience as a broad generalization towards everyone else’s “other half” by saying they “certainly won’t help”. Maybe next time you could add “in my personal experience”, just to balance it out a bit. Personally, you’re a much tougher person than I am - the thought of moving back in with my parents sends shivers down my spine!

Rachel says:

10:02am | 19/02/13

Is that because men who do housework don’t have a woman there to clean up? Or perhaps, after cleaning up after someone else, they just aren’t in the mood?

Anyway, I have two suggestions. My rule is ... if you want it clean and now, then do it yourself. Second suggestion ... naked housework night.

Ridge says:

10:53am | 19/02/13

Not just less sex, but more divorces!

I’m glad more people are starting to realise this.

Sean says:

11:14am | 19/02/13

I thought it was the other way around i.e. If men did housework they got more sex. That was the last ‘survey results’ I saw, but admittedly, it was a while ago so I’m probably behind on more recent surveys. But from personal experience, I can say that my old survey results ring true in my household

Tim the Toolman says:

12:23pm | 19/02/13

Here you go, Sean

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/255763.php

MK says:

01:32pm | 19/02/13

@ Sean,

no that was merely an untested theory,
Thereoy was women werent in the mood becasue they were too busy,
and if men helped more around the house
theyn they might get a reward,

Reality: as direct aptyl points out,
sruvey/reserach says, that as men do more traditional womens work inside, there is less intimate action>
Note traditional men’s chores such as mowing lawn, washing car,
did not have a negative correlation with frequency of intimacy.

Sean says:

05:45pm | 19/02/13

@ Tim the Toolman - thanks for the link. That was very interesting…
But it said couples spend 34 hours a week on “female” chores and another 17 hours a week doing “men’s” chores. Seriously? Who spends 51 hours a week cleaning and mowing etc. That’s about 7 hours A DAY, including weekends. I mustn’t be doing it right, because I/we don’t spend anywhere near that each week and our 4 bedroom house is pretty spotless. Wow. And I noted a mention somewhere about using chores as “bargaining chips for sex” - never did that either (never had to). We must be freaks. It’s the only explanation…;)

Jay76 says:

12:42pm | 19/02/13

Yeah, it is definitely one of those things where money provides an easier option. Given my hourly rate as a contractor, it doesn’t even make economic sense for me (or my fiance) to do any cleaning around the house. We just get a cleaner for a few hours a week, and I go sit in my study and earn four times what it costs to have them.

That ratio may change when we start having kids though. :|

Kitten says:

03:58pm | 19/02/13

I dunno, $80 a fortnight for 2 hrs (2 cleaners therefore 4 hours).  I am happy to forgo a daily coffee and take leftover for lunches and that easily pays my cleaners per fortnight.

Fiddler says:

10:28am | 19/02/13

refer to rule 3. Not knowing your personal circumstances it is hard to say if this applies, but if he doesn’t want to do it himself, then is there anything wrong with him springing for a house cleaner once a fortnight or so to take some of the load off you?

Rose says:

11:08am | 19/02/13

Sweetie, he has absolutely no intention of doing it, in your time or his own. If it was important to him the dishes wouldn’t be sitting there for seven hours let alone seven days. He’s got the whole thing sussed, sit on his big lazy arse until you get sick of it and do it yourself. Why would he change a thing? It’s working out beautifully for him, It’s just you that’s getting played

rx72 says:

11:32am | 19/02/13

Katie I have the same problem with my husband. I suggest you nip it in the bud now because it will forever be a thorn in your relationship. The distribution of housework is the only thing my husband and I argue about. We constantly bicker about housework but don’t argue about anything else at all. We both work fulltime and I also work 2 casual ‘moonlighting’ jobs. I do all of the gardening and outside work and around 98% of the indoor work. He occasionally cleans the toilets (once every 2 months?) and sometimes remembers to take the rubbish out. He also cooks most nights but does not lift a finger to do any cleaning, food shopping or tidying whatsoever. I do all of the outdoor work and gardening. Even paying the bills and fixing things around the house fall to me but recently I have started paying to get handymen in to do jobs my husband is too lazy to do. After years of arguing about him no contributing to house chores, I now refuse to do his laundry or ironing. I do mine and the kids but not his - it gets left dirty in the basket for him to sort out. I have also starting refusing to do chores that only he benefits from such as filling his car with petrol, cleaning his car, dropping it off to be serviced, dropping off or picking up his dry cleaning, etc.
Unfortunately he was raised in an absolutely filthy house so his hygiene standards are extremely low. Plus he admits to being a lazy slob.
I suggest that if your fiance doesn’t start helping out, you stop doing things that your fiance benefits from. I would also look at finances and see if you can afford a house keeper. Write up a list of chores a housekeeper can do and divide the list by half. Say he can either do half of the chores or pay for a housekeeper to do his half out of his own personal spending money.
You’re rewarding him for being lazy by cleaning up after him when he has said he’ll just do it in his own time. I reckon a lot of people use this tactic. I once overheard an ex boyfriend tell a houseguest: “Oh don’t do that. If you leave it long enough, Sally (me) will do it”. I confronted him and after that house chores were strictly divided up and he no longer had me picking up after him.
Unfortunately my husband hasn’t been that straightforward to deal with but at least these days I am not getting angry about doing chores that only benefit him and by not doing his laundry, ironing etc, it gives me an extra few hours of houswork free time per week..

Ally says:

11:03am | 19/02/13

It’s not necessarily about the size of the house. There’s always going to be at least one bathroom to clean, not to mention washing/ironing to be done. If you’ve got the money to pay someone else to do jobs that you’d rather not do yourself, why wouldn’t you?

I don’t outsource myself, but I can certainly see the appeal of getting someone in to do the “hard” cleaning once a week or something.

Fiddler says:

11:36am | 19/02/13

@ Lee, I hate cleaning. I am quite happy to pay someone a small amount to come and assist each fortnight in making my house cleaner.

Your comment is rubbish

Jay76 says:

12:46pm | 19/02/13

It doesn’t make financial sense for some people to clean their own house. At my hourly rate (which isn’t super high for a freelancer) I can put 25% towards a cleaner AND keep 75% for myself.

Frankly, I lose income (or my free time) if I clean my own house.

Rose says:

11:23am | 19/02/13

Have you ever considered spending quality time with your children while doing at least some of the chores together? There’s nothing worse than coming across teenagers and young adults who have o concept of how to do basic jobs for themselves.

SAm says:

11:57am | 19/02/13

Funny I get the same response..Ive offered I dont know how many times to be a stay at home dad as she complains about how tough everything is..
but never seems to take up the offer to go back to work

Modern Primitive says:

12:51pm | 19/02/13

Housework has to be the easiest thing known to man. Give me a high paid wife and I’ll happily play stay at home dad. Jeez, how easy would that life be?

Al says:

01:40pm | 19/02/13

Modern Primitive - a hell of a lot easier than being single where you have to work and do the housework.

Greg says:

01:58pm | 19/02/13

Ditto.

My stay-at-home wife is always telling me how hard her life is, doing housework all day long and looking after children after they finish school. Not only that, but she has sacrificed her career to support mine, and doesn’t earn any superannuation either.

I agree. It is indeed outrageous that she should be so oppressed and victimised by the patriarchy, and that gender justice demands an immediate role reversal.

In fact, it would be misogynistic of me if I didn’t quit work immediately to become a stay-at-home dad and be supportive of her career for at least a decade or so. I will do all of the housework and childminding, by myself, and to her standards and schedule. I’ll have her dinner on the table when she comes home from work. I’ll even do the housework wearing a frilly apron in penance for my past sexist sins, and to visibly demonstrate my commitment to women’s empowerment.

But for some strange reason, that no feminist can explain to me, she refuses to be liberated from domestic servitude and sexist persecution, and insists on maintaining her oppressed lifestyle.

We're don't all sit on our asses! says:

02:40pm | 19/02/13

Sorry but you guys are being taken for a ride by your stay at home wives! As a professional female with young pre-school age children I work 3 days a week and then also do 2 other casual jobs (evenings and weekends). Between these 3 jobs, I work about 30-35 hours per week on average, sometimes more. I can have our house absolutely spotless in the 2 weekday days a week I am at home caring for 2 pre-schoolers. In the 2 days I am at home with my kids, I do all of the housework and paying bills. I also run errands, do the grocery shopping, mow the law and do the edges, weeding, watering, pruning and any little household repair jobs (painting, plastering, oiling locks, cleaning gutters etc).

With labour saving devices like washing machines, fridges, hot water cylinders, electric ovens, microwaves, electric heating, it is 1 full day (at the very most) to have our house spotless, right down to clean windows.
If any stay at home mother is moaning about housework and yet isn’t looking after at least 2 preschool children, I would be telling her to get off her fat ass and get into a job for at least 3 weekdays while the kids are at school. There is simply no reason to be a stay at home mother once the youngest is going to school.
Advances in technology means every day chores simply do not take that much time or effort. My grandmother told me once that it used to take her mother 2 full days to handwash all the dirty laundry for herself, husband and 6 children. Meals would take hours to make as a result of killing the chicken, plucking it etc. And then you’d have to cut sticks for the stove and boil water, etc. And they walked everywhere - no 2 car households.
But then again, being a woman, I know plenty of other women (even ones with uni degrees) who can’t wait to pop out children so they can chuck in their job and sit at home watching daytime TV and “doing it hard”.

Seriously guys, grow some balls and tell your wife that once the youngest hits school age, back to work she goes!

Greg says:

03:24pm | 19/02/13

“Seriously guys, grow some balls and tell your wife that once the youngest hits school age, back to work she goes!”

It’s not that simple. My wife would choose divorce before going back to work.

And divorce means the Family Court, one of the major sources of misandry in Australia. The wife will get custody of all children, at least 60% of all assets, and a similar amount of all income earned by the husband.

And even if he loses his job, then the amount owing accumulates regardless.

Meanwhile the wife, with no post-marital obligations or responsibilities, can continue her stress-free life and un-earned income.

Modern Primitive says:

03:42pm | 19/02/13

I just want to find a wife that’s happy to be a stay at home mum, although I wouldn’t begrudge her if she wanted to work a few days a week.

Are there any Gen Y women like that?

We're don't all sit on our asses! says:

06:41pm | 19/02/13

Greg, sorry to hear your wife has that sort of attitude. I seriously can’t stand females who treat their husbands/boyfriends as a meal ticket so they can sit on their arses and get a free ride through life. We’re not all like that.
Maybe you could consider to start cutting back on your wife’s luxuries/non essentials so she is personally affected by her refusal to pull her weight and contribute? Or refuse to lift a finger once you’re home from work. If you’re working 40 hours per week, she should be doing 40 hours per week of gardening/chores/childcare/cooking, etc. Other than that, as a female in her mid to late 30’s, I am unable to offer you any advice other than to say you unfortunately married a selfish lazy cow. Maybe get a good lawyer and once the kids are out of home, leave her. I’d sooner be broke than spend the rest of my life with a parasitic lazy slob.

Kerryn says:

01:49pm | 19/02/13

My parents do..well, for the oldest kid anyway :-(  My siblings wouldn’t lift a finger without a fair bit of whinging and whining! 

But still, my contribution plus $400 board a month is a small price to pay for my parents help

Modern Primitive says:

03:58pm | 19/02/13

That sounds similar to my situation.

My mother confused me though, apparently cutting firewood is mans work, which is why my sisters never had to do it. Yet I still had to help with the washing up. How unfair was that?