The tinsel’s growing dusty, and our New Year’s Eve hangover is finally receding. So now it’s time to face up to 2013. Forget about New Year’s Resolutions they’re soo 2012.

His Sixth Sense tells him random kindness is good.

There’s another way to feel good this year, and it doesn’t involve going on a diet or cutting back on the booze. It’s called paying it forward.

It involves doing a random act of kindness for someone else, for no other reason but to put a smile on their dial. It means baking a cake for a neighbour, picking up another person’s bill in a restaurant or leaving lotto tickets on a stranger’s car windscreen. The idea is that you repay the kindness of others by doing something for someone else you pay the kindness forward.

The idea has been around in the US for some time, and was even the name of a pretty bad 2000 movie.

But it’s had a recent resurgence in the wake of the Sandy Hook massacre.

Ann Curry, an American TV host, had the idea of encouraging people to do 26 acts of kindness in the name of the 26 people killed.

The idea quickly went viral, sparking a mini revolution of people buying others coffee, jump-starting other people’s cars on the freeway and paying off strangers’ lay bys.

I’m not about to turn into a fake schmaltzy do-gooder. But I do think it’s true that many of us are so busy caring for ourselves that we’ve stopped caring for each other.

It’s the little things that say a lot.

There’s the young people who are too busy shuffling songs on their ipods to stand up for an old lady on a train.

There are the quiet suburban streets where no one seems to know anyone else’s name.

And there are the drivers refusing to let other cars into their lane of traffic.

I’m not saying I’m doing any better than anyone else at looking after others.

I’m quite good at thinking about what I could do to help other people, but don’t actually get around to doing anything much about it.

A week or so ago when it was nearly 40 degrees, I thought about how two quite elderly people living alone on our street were faring in the sweltering heat.

But did I knock on their door to see if they needed anything? No.

And for a while now I’ve been thinking about how my family should perhaps become respite foster carers for a young child.

But have I done anything about it? No.

We have to remember that sometimes little things can make a really big difference.

We were welcomed to our new suburb a year or so ago by a neighbour who had brought us a coconut cake, still warm from the oven. She just wanted to make us feel welcome to the neighbourhood.

The cake was the start of a lovely friendship. Initially, we were worried she and her husband would resent all the noisy craziness of our family. But we got to know them and they told us they loved having kids playing in the street again it reminded them of when their own kids were young.

However, it’s not always easy to do nice things for others. One US man working in a chain restaurant told of how one of his customers paid the bill for another table, an elderly couple.

The old pair took some time to understand that complete strangers had picked up their tab, but finally got it. “Oh in that case, let’s order dessert then!” they said. Needless to say, they didn’t show their gratitude by paying for another table.

So this year, we all have a chance to do things differently.

Rather than looking back in regret, maybe it’s time to pay it forward. Gotta go, it’s going to be really hot today and I’ve got some neighbours to check up on.

Comments on this post will close at 6pm AEDT.

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10 comments

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    • acotrel says:

      05:23am | 05/01/13

      I think it is a bit rich doing something nice for someone then believing they have an obligation to pass on your good will to others.  You should simply have the faith to believe it will happen anyway. Not everything has a price, and not everything is tit for tat.  The true value of your good deed lies in Kharma, ‘what goes a round comes around’, and you are the primary beneficiary anyway. Your day is immediately better.

    • Mouse says:

      09:54am | 05/01/13

      I have to agree with you acotrel, a good deed is done, not for rewards or accolades, but for the pleasure it gives to both the giver and the givee.  If you doing something nice for someone in turn causes them to do the same for someone else down the track, that is just a bonus, because you won’t know about it anyway. 
      Just making someone else smile sometimes can be the best thing you can do for yourself that day.  Maybe more people should try it, the benefit much outweighs the cost every time!  lol :o)

    • Simon says:

      08:15am | 05/01/13

      A lot of the US good being done is merely passing on what you receive, if someone bought your coffee and the chain know and are announcing how many forwards have been done you would need to be a complete arsehole to just say thanks and not buy the next one, but, you are also not giving anyone much, merely buying a coffee and taking a coffee. The first person paid for two, they are the good guys, everyone else is just buying what they would normally.

    • Toady says:

      11:14am | 05/01/13

      The random act of kindness in buying a coffee is the inflated price you pay for something worth no more than around 95 cents.  Keeping people in jobs, helping the owner pay the rent.  The other random act of kindness that most taxpayers engage in is forking out their income so that trough-swilling pigs known as politicians can blow the money on anything they want.  My capacity for financial random acts of kindness is minimal these days, as the past two years has seen my financial situation deteriorate rapidly, courtesy of increased utility, fuel and insurance costs and decreased consumer dollars, thanks to retarded financial policies of the Gillard government.  For the first time in twenty years, I am eligible for welfare assistance from the government.

    • stephen says:

      09:39am | 05/01/13

      Random acts of kindness should remain that : random.
      (I’d rather there be more random bad movies, and that one noted above is a worthy example of one.)

      The reason that such a person would be encouraged to do such things for strangers - nearly all of whom would be deserving, really, of our indifference - is because such acts take away self interest and the perpetrator becomes passive and non-judgmental.
      Just like a turtle, or a Greenie.

      It is a truism that if people were deserving of kindness then they would do such acts for themselves and offer the residue of kindness to their smiles.
      Or their pets.

    • Schmavo says:

      12:53pm | 05/01/13

      A couple of weeks before Christmas an elderly lady in the supermarket appeared to be budgeting/struggling with her trolley of minimal stuff. I thought about randomly offering an amount of cash in the spirit of ‘paying it forward’ and then thought, what if she got offended? That thought alone prevented me from taking action. I have no idea whether I would have enriched her life or offended her. I think next time, I’ll just do it.

    • stephen says:

      04:30pm | 05/01/13

      She may have just tried a B&E, got caught, and got out on bail ... but of course, if you have no discrimination - which the tone of this article assumes, (it also assumes that no one dares have any knowledge : it would be a trifle hard, wouldn’t it, to have to discern the truth of a matter, especially if you gave something and were to humiliated, once the truth were out, to retract your favour ) - then if you want to give indiscriminately, then that may save you the importance of judgment as to who may require our money, not to mention our energy.

    • Elvira says:

      03:03pm | 05/01/13

      Random acts of kindness are fab, and it would be good to see more articles like this, but it seems to me we aren’t even at that stage yet. We first have to return to an understanding of the importance of compassion. It seems every public discussion is dominated by people who take great care to put forward reasons why they shouldn’t care about people (and other creatures) less fortunate than themselves. Compassion always seems to come second to the callousness that has in recent years been rebranded as “pragmatism”. Some people are so protective of what they perceive as their own self-interest, the slightest suggestion they may have to sacrifice something to help another is met with real fury, like a little kid being asked to share his lollies. Another problem is a palming off of responsibility. They deflect attention onto some other party, “Why don’t you go and pick on them?” We also have to look again at our manners - the way people see fit to address others is really foul sometimes. All three points can be seen any day of the week on this and many other news blogs. So yes, random acts of kindness are wonderful, but they won’t happen until we address basic moral behaviours - compassion, willingness to take responsibility for one’s attitudes and actions, and good manners.

    • MartinX says:

      03:41pm | 05/01/13

      My 2013 resolution is 2560 x 1440.

    • stephen says:

      04:46pm | 05/01/13

      Blockhead.

 

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