Now this whole Harry Potter thing has rounded the turn and headed for home, I, for one, worry for the welfare of the (boy-)man himself, Daniel Radcliffe.

Who will remain a star? Photo: AP.

Sure, he might well be the richest thing in glasses this side of Bill Gates. 

But does DanRad have a fighting chance of staying on our screens once he no longer has a wand to wave in self-defence?

Should we send him right away to the tailors for a fitting of one them there stereotyped straitjackets?  (“Good choice, Mr Radcliffe. Christopher Reeve went with the same one right after Superman IV : The Quest for Peace.”)

Or should we give the lad the benefit of the doubt, lest he suddenly unleash an acting talent that has Sean Penn looking nervously over his shoulder?

As it is already tomorrow in the crazy tell-me-yesterday world of today, such important questions demand important answers.

Using the best high-tech, future-projection modelling programs at my disposal - wiring a Commodore C64 to a magic 8-ball is tougher than it looks - I invite you to toe the timeline of Daniel Radcliffe 2.0 .....

2012 : Wisely resisting a lucrative offer to star in the unauthorized sequel Harry Potter and the Lord of the Rings, Radcliffe announces his retirement from acting game, effective immediately.

2013 : Ploughs entire fortune into innovative self-publishing venture.  However, the Can You Find Daniel? books are no match for the enduring sales dominance of main market rival Where’s Wally?  Radcliffe announces his return to acting game, effective immediately.

2015 : Takes over from Daniel Craig as the new James Bond, much to the chagrin of logical replacement Julian McMahon.  Loses role after just one instalment when audiences laugh at scenes of 007 getting about on a flying broomstick.

2019 : The phone hasn’t rung since guest appearance in revival of TV sitcom Bewitched.  Joins forces with Rupert Grint for short-lived nightclub act Harry & Ron : The Magic Lives On.

2020 – 2030 : The wilderness years.  Wanders the globe as a freelance Big Brother intruder.

2031 : Discovered among the effects of deceased author J.K. Rowling is an unpublished manuscript titled Harry Potter and the Mid-Life Crisis.  Film adaptation rushed into production.  Daniel Radcliffe becomes a bigger star than ever.

2033: Capitalises on career resurgence with tell-all autobiography, controversially professing undying love for former co-star Emma Watson.  She subsequently marries Radcliffe after divorcing husband Tom Cruise.  And they lived happily ever after.

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21 comments

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    • BobbyDan says:

      08:07am | 16/11/10

      If only your predictions for the future from (today 16/11/10) all come true.

      If/when Radcliffe marries Emma Watson in 2033, I think they will have some nice pups, I want one, please.

      Mind you, they will have to become Peter Pan and Wendy to stay young and beautiful (and fertile).

    • George says:

      08:25am | 16/11/10

      Saw DanRad’s ‘Maps’ in “December Boys” is commendable!  I don’t see why he won’t make it in a role other than Harry Potter.

    • DG says:

      08:53am | 16/11/10

      2033- DanRad and Emma give birth to triplets, surprisingly naming them Harry, Ron and Hermionie and they grow up to become fast friends of J.K.Rowlings youngest daughter who pens the sequal to he mothers Harry Potter series.
      Subsequent sales of the books makes the Rowling estate the richest people known to history and they boot Liz, Phil and family out of Buckingham Palace, ensconce themselves on the throne

    • Lauren says:

      09:27am | 16/11/10

      This sounds like something Dan would say about himself, in a self-depreciating manner with a goofy grin.

      It wouldn’t surprise me if Dan decided to stick to West End and Broadway productions after his next filming contracts expire (The Woman in Black, and that one about the murdered journalist or something in Afghanistan?) I’m planning on seeing How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying when I head to New York next year, mainly because Dan is the star in it.

      His best performance ever though was his stint in Ricky Gervais’ Extras. Oh my god, I had never laughed so much…

      Got my tickets for this Thursday, can’t wait!

    • ana says:

      09:37am | 16/11/10

      incorrect

      2012 he will come to Melbourne, meet me for the second time, deciding this time he can’t live without me.. we fall madly in love and get married

      and all is well..

    • BobbyDan says:

      09:57am | 16/11/10

      ana, if you are as pretty as Emma, I hope your dream comes true ...... if you have pups together….. can I have one of them.
      Thank You

    • TheRealDave says:

      10:37am | 16/11/10

      He was pretty good in My Boy Jack as well.

      I don’t think young Dan is going to lack work in the future. He’s pretty much thrown himself into various roles far different, and far more mature than the Potter series. I think he could very much be the next, sane, Johnny Depp - as in known for a lot of very good, carefully selected roles, big name and independent/offbeat

      Emma Watson has the looks, and dare I say it after the recent red carpet pics - the glamour, to go anywhere and in any role in the future.

      Its Rupert that will end up as per the article. Second banana’s tend to stay second banana’s - look at ‘our’ Bert. Rupert will probably be the next Danny Bonnaduce wink

    • nick says:

      01:09pm | 16/11/10

      what about harrison ford? Han Solo was second banana, look at Ford now.

    • TheRealDave says:

      02:54pm | 16/11/10

      Harrison Ford is no-ones second bannana

    • Dan says:

      05:40pm | 16/11/10

      Han Solo was the second banana to whom? He was the star! :D :D

    • stephen says:

      12:31pm | 16/11/10

      Harry Potter’s future - bookwise - is in the toilet : for emergencies.

    • Darren says:

      01:25pm | 16/11/10

      He’ll never work again, case in point Elijah Wood.

    • Em says:

      03:41pm | 16/11/10

      Elijah Wood has been in plenty since Lord of the Rings, but he chooses his roles - quality stuff, but not huge blockbusters.

    • Heather says:

      07:22pm | 16/11/10

      Elijah Wood also had a budding career before the LOTR films (The Faculty, Forever Young, The Adventures of Huck Finn, and the title role in North, to name a few, along with small roles in various TV series—essentially, starter roles most young actors get), whereas Radcliffe was plucked out of youthful obscurity to play Potter.

    • Geonagger says:

      08:51am | 17/11/10

      Heather, did you not see young Danny play Dicken’s endearing young David Copperfield when he was about 10 yrs old on a BBC dramatisation? Well worth watching the whole series.

    • Geonagger says:

      09:20am | 17/11/10

      Heather, did you not see Danny play the young (10 yrs old?) David Copperfield in the wonderful BBC Dickens adaptation? Well worth watching.

    • rk says:

      01:38pm | 16/11/10

      so right Darren…saw that Elijah Wood in a movie not so long ago, was just hoping he slipped that ring on and dissapeared

    • Woza says:

      03:43pm | 16/11/10

      If I were him I’d head for the hills with a good looking bird under each arm and hope that the tabloids forgot about me ASAP.

    • gone says:

      05:05pm | 16/11/10

      Mark Hamill….

    • Macon Paine says:

      06:16pm | 16/11/10

      Ouch! Touche!

    • JK says:

      10:21pm | 16/11/10

      I think his big comeback will be orchestrated by none other than Quentin Tarrantino!  Isnt he responsible for all the has-been’s career revivals???

 

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