A guide to dancing for people without the gene
Viral sensation Psy says dress classy dance cheesy. But what about those who just can’t dance?
Having a social life can be pretty awkward for people born without a dancing gene. Specifically at weddings, (especially your own), parties celebrating milestone birthdays and any kind of drinking social event from your late teens right through until your mid thirties. Or longer depending on how much of a life you have.
You will know the person without the dancing gene because they are the ones clinging to the edges of the party. When the music starts, they suddenly disappear to the bathroom, or to have a cigarette or to catch up with “so and so” who they haven’t seen for ages.
Granted, there are a few exceptions to this situation. The first one is when you are getting married and are forced by social niceties and the benefit of your parents, to endure a five minute scrambled kind of dance so that everyone can stare at you more.
This situation is made worse if you happen to marry someone who also has two left feett, for example. But it can also be compounded by a mismatch – someone who is more risqué, energetic, or lets face it, drunk than you.
Another exception apparently is 40th birthday parties. A friend said recently she took to the dance floor with an entire flock of well dressed women who spent half the night trying to convince each other to get up, but then had no idea what to do once they made it there. Well, at least they looked nice.
Getting tipsy can also help people without the dancing gene, but only in their minds eye. A couple of glasses of champagne and you’re on your feet, convinced you could make to into the first round of Dancing with the Stars. Unfortunately, as anyone from afar will be able to tell you, that’s not the kind of vibe you’re giving off.
The bad news of course is there is very little you can do to overcome this affliction. There really are only two choices: reject every social occasion by email, or pretend like you can dance.
Comments on this post close at 8pm AEST
Read all about it
Up to the minute Twitter chatter
The latest and greatest
Good morning Punchers. After four years of excellent fun and great conversation, this is the final post…
I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…
In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…