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A grandfather asks: Are we overindulging our daughters?

Ian Wallace

by Ian Wallace

16 Apr 05:50am

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Filed under: Body Image, Media, Parenting, Society

42 comments

There is an increasing trend in advertising and marketing to focus on the sexualization of children. The Australian Association of National Advertisers has recently released a new code of conduct on this topic and as a father of six children and a grandfather to nine it seems the code is not before time.

Who are we doing this for, the girls or their parents?

Planned soon for Melbourne is a beauty pageant for children inspired by controversial US TV shows. Tiny tots will model swimwear and be judged on their smile and posture.

Psychologists are saying the concept wrongly judges young children by their looks and could lead to insecurity, eating disorders, anxiety and embarrassment.

Advertisers and marketing firms refute such claims and argue that any unfortunate outcomes are largely the fault of parents. Certain groups of parents can become susceptible to their child’s pressure and are categorised in the advertising industry as indulgers, children’s friends or guilty parents.

A former executive director of The Australia Institute, Clive Hamilton, was unsuccessfully sued by David Jones over a 2006 paper called “Corporate paedophilia - sexualising children by advertising and marketing”. The retailer had not taken kindly to being named in a report accusing retailers, marketers and magazines of eroticising children to sell products.

A number of female celebrities have launched lingerie aimed at eight to twelve year-olds. They claim such lingerie acknowledges an awareness that young girls are leaning more and more toward adult styles, attitudes and behaviour.

Marketing strategies purposely flatter young girls and represent them as being hip and aware and independent, sophisticated consumers with their own language, music and fashion.

A recent Senate inquiry into “the Sexualisation of Children in the Contemporary Media Environment” heard evidence from child protection advocates who claimed highly sexualised dolls are at the forefront of a trend that promotes stereotyped and sexualised images. Dolls with fishnet stockings, tight-fitting clothes, high heels and heavily made-up faces and large pouty lips exposed young girls to dangerous stereotypes.

The birthday party scene for girls across Australia is a new target market and its growth to this point is largely un-noticed. Parents with young daughters are faced with challenging choices if they plan a birthday party. An Australian website “Smart –Mums” reports on young female parties with adult themes. The site claims that nearly 50 per cent of such parties now have some part of the event outsourced to a professional party planner.

Such party planners are organising lavish themed parties as occasions to remember. The most popular theme is a Supermodel party.  One Gold Coast model agency hosts at least one of these parties each week.  Supermodel parties include hair straightening, mascara and lessons on modeling as well as facials, spray-on tan or even hand painted tattoos.

Little girls do like dressing up. Maybe the advertising and marketing industry is pandering to overindulgent parents who bow to every demand from their daughter and who are creating a culture and a generation seeking instant gratification.

Most commented

353"Gifting", "journey" and other words we hate
309Thomson didn't answer the question everyone is asking
246A big day for Thomson, who thus far is guilty of nothing...
242They must pay for one's bitter disappointments
230Craig Thomson speaks. Meanwhile, in Australia...
230South Australia. It's the middle bottom bit.
224The most laughable, err, spoof since Einfeld
224Punch on: Open thread 17/05/2012

42 comments

Show oldest | newest first

    • Formersnag The Child Protector. says:

      06:20am | 16/04/10

      “girl power’ & “women/girls can do anything” had absolutely no part in it.

      Reply

    • Eric says:

      07:21am | 16/04/10

      It’s good to see that there’s so much concern for the self-image of young girls.

      Of course, young boys are failing at education, are being systematically taught that they’re evil, and are turning into young men who lead the suicide rate.

      But nobody cares about _their_ self-image. Males are, after all, worthless and if they have any problems it’s their own fault.

      Reply

    • Ellie says:

      08:57am | 16/04/10

      why dont you write an article about it then?

    • Eric says:

      09:29am | 16/04/10

      Writing articles isn’t my job, Ellie. Besides, I find it easier to write short comments.

      But it’s telling that those whose job it is to write articles, only seem to consider the needs and problems of females. Indeed, when someone does write about men, it’s usually to criticise them. That is the extent to which men are marginalised in our society.

    • Kaitlyn says:

      03:46pm | 16/04/10

      Eric, you seriously seem to have a chip on your shoulder about females. I suggest you see a psychologist about it because I have a feeling it may be taking over your life.
      People do care about males. Suicide rates are often spoken about and reported on.
      There is a man here in Perth who every Sunday calls for the end of discrimination against men, except he never has a substantial arguement. He makes irrational claims with no evidence instead of commenting on how men are disadvantaged in the family courts and so on.
      Maybe you should meet this fellow and the two of you can establish a support group for men with twisted world views on the status of males in current society.
      I await your “evil female” response.

    • Eric says:

      05:36pm | 16/04/10

      Kaitlyn: Ahh, Grasshopper, you have learned Feminist Debating Tactic #1: “If you can’t counter the point, attack the person”.

      Very good. Now you can progress to the more advanced tactics shown here:

      http://exposingfeminism.wordpress.com/shaming-tactics/

    • pheelion says:

      01:21pm | 17/04/10

      Any movement that solely concentrates on one section of society (no matter how much that section needs changes) will not have outcomes that are beneficial to society as a whole.  In order to have a healthy, functioning, cohesive community we need to look at what the entire community needs.  If we look at meeting the needs of all members of humanity then all of the minority groups will benefit by default.

    • Kaitlyn says:

      05:52pm | 19/04/10

      That’s not it at all Eric. I just think you are waiting for someone to sing the praises of men from the rooftops, which is fine. But maybe instead of putting down everyone’s articles on here you should be more proactive and do something yourself. Write your own article and submit it, don’t be so cynical in you’re comments. I know you said it’s not your job to write articles, but you seem to have defined ideas and I think you should. It may very well be published and I think you would be surprised with the response you get.

    • Belinda says:

      08:04am | 16/04/10

      It’s dangerous going out into the world as a girl who thinks (or has been let/made to think) she’s already woman. If that is how she presents herself, that is of course how men/boys will take her to be.
      When sexual situations happen (as they inevitably will with a lot of girls of this mindset), they realise how mentally ill-equipped they are to deal with it, and it’s coupled with the feeling that it is your own fault and you brought this upon yourself.
      It is just so dangerous to give girls a false maturity without the chance to learn the lessons that come with growing up. The consequences can be devastating.

      Reply

    • acker says:

      08:11am | 16/04/10

      Totally agree some of the products the companies selling and advertising into the tween market are over the top as is Bill Henson’s supposed artwork / soft tween porn.

      Reply

    • 6c legs says:

      02:54pm | 16/04/10

      Hi, “acker”, just wanted to say “ta” for the link that you suggested i visit on yesterdays thread about BC… i haven’t had time yet, but have bookmarked it.

      (and agree with you about BH…  I’m one of the few artsy heretics who thinks that BH takes advantage of, & gets away with, being an “artist” ...)

      grin

    • Chris says:

      08:31am | 16/04/10

      To the Grandfather who asked this question whilst I do not disagree with your assertion regarding the sexualisation of children and the pandering of their needs, I say this. If the parents are the problem then who borught them up?????
      I have two daughters under six and can see the marketing pressures that they experience, but next time you give your grandkiddies a choccie biscuit despite the requests of Mum and Dad not to, think about what has been written in this article and the impact it has on parental authority.
      The defence of - this what grandparents can do does not wash from my perspective

      Reply

    • Julia says:

      10:47am | 16/04/10

      You’re half right, Chris. Unless it was an arranged marriage, grandparents can really only take half the blame.

    • emma says:

      10:42am | 16/04/10

      I agree, I have found both sets of Grandparents in our family are indulgent despite requests not to be. It is worse at birthdays when other family members give gifts like gift cards and say you can choose anything you like.

    • chris says:

      12:08pm | 16/04/10

      Julia,

      I agree with you - as a parent the upbringing of all three of my children is the responsibility of my partner and I. We accept that wholeheartedly, we just get frustrated when our ‘elders’ choose to do what the hell they like without due consideration.
      Great discussions

    • Gina Peters says:

      12:29pm | 16/04/10

      While parent continue to shunt their children toGrandparents while they go on holidays or a night out or in my case on a daily basis while they work, I feel some input from me on my grandaughters welfare, should at least be listened to. I don’t expect my daughter to adhere to all my advice but I would yell and scream to see that precious little girl dressed up like an older tramp. There is time in life for her to dress up and be Miss Australia if she wants but shes only 4 years old and the most treasured little girl in the world by all of us. Fortunatly my daughter has more sense that to sexualise this little angel. My husband and I are on a pension and we can’t afford to over indulge her but shes given so much love by everyone I am sure she will be a good asset to Australia when she grows up.

    • Chris says:

      12:38pm | 16/04/10

      Emma,

      Thankfully we have not yet got to gift cards - we get Gothic Bratz dolls (scary) and my 20 month old son received for Xmas a stuffed tiger that can take 100 kg in wieght.  Do you thnk we asked for those gifts - No. We have a fuilly grown Golden Retriever and it is bigger than her.! She still freaks out when it comes from our son’s room.

    • Julia says:

      05:01pm | 16/04/10

      A gothic Brat doll? You know, I would just give it back or ask if they have the receipt so you can exchange it.

      If they’re not going to consider your feelings, then don’t consider theirs. And there’s so much more at stake than them being hurt.

    • Ellie says:

      08:53am | 16/04/10

      I wholeheartedly agree with your article. I’m sure I will find it hard to raise children with my partner, if the sexualisation of children goes further. It’s truely disgusting and needs to be stopped. Why should little girls be walking around in padded bras, and caked on makeup? Women dress sexily and wear makeup to impress men. Why would a little girl need to impress men?! The only people this would impress are paedophiles. It makes me sick. Little girls shouldn’t have this kind of pressure placed upon them.

      Reply

    • T.Chong says:

      09:27am | 16/04/10

      If you are outraged Ellie, maybe you should write an article explaining why it is overwhelmingly the mothers of the girls who are buying this stuff to sexualise their daughters.
      Why would mothers want to dress up their little girl “to impress men”  ? Your correct, the only people who are impressed are sick cookies, and the girls mothers wanting to project their own desire to be an exhobitionist via the innocence of their daughters.

    • Rich says:

      12:45pm | 16/04/10

      It is the mothers of these girls that are largely to blame.

      These women, from I’ve observed, wish they were sex objects to men and so think they are doing their daughter a favour by giving them what they did not have.

      Maybe then they can score a rich man and get plastic surgery to become more “beautiful” at a later stage in life.

    • Formersnag The Child Protector. says:

      02:04pm | 16/04/10

      its like i have always said, feminism is motherhood, failure training 101. Encourage parents to spend less time parenting & more time earning money, to waste on “bratz” dolls & “kidult” fashion.

    • pheelion says:

      01:17pm | 17/04/10

      Yes I fully agree.  I am so sick of the excuse “children these days just want to grow up so fast”.  Children in all days want to grow up fast.  Go back 200 years and 13/14 year old girls were begging their mothers to let them wear long skirts and their hair down (the adult look).  The only difference is that back then most of the mothers said “NO”.

    • Mathew G says:

      09:30am | 16/04/10

      I think its a worrying trend, children should just be allowed to be children. Girls worry about makeup and bras as they get into their teens, but younger than that is just simply too young. Let them play and be a child. I find it disturbing also because of pedophiles, to me it seems to be aiding and abetting them. We don’t want these sick men to see our children as sexual beings. Childhood is such a treasured time, its the only time in our lives we can just have fun and not have to worry about the cost and the bills. I personally think this is the result of pushy parents, wanting to live their asperations through their children.

      Reply

    • ant,am says:

      04:41pm | 16/04/10

      So, only men can be paedophiles (note: Australian, not American, Spelling)? Really?

    • fer says:

      09:42am | 16/04/10

      women still havnt realised that half the clothes they think are “fasionable” actually make them look ridiculous. Next time you look through a womens magazine, take a note of the women wearing lady gaga or gwen stephani style clothing. The only reason the father smiles when his daughter dresses up like that and says u look wonderful, is because he has a heart. Maybe a lot unlike his wife that dressed the poor child that way. Not only are you sexualising urselves way too young, you look incredibly stupid. No amount of clothing can deepen the skin of some-one who’s beauty is only skin deep.

      Reply

    • pragmatic says:

      09:51am | 16/04/10

      little girls want to be like their mothers. I remember shuffling around the house in mums shoes and asking to wear her makeup. I even had some pink plastic ‘high heels’ of my own. But that is where mum drew the line, I could wear light pink nail polish to special occasions and that was about it.

      The sexualisation of children needs to be addressed from both directions, advertisers need to reduce the amount of stuff out there, for the benifit of those who don’t see the problem and parents and grandparents need to stop buying it because they think it is cute.

      Reply

    • Rich says:

      12:50pm | 16/04/10

      Yeah little girls want to be like their mothers, but I don’t think they wish to be in these pageants. They always look so miserable and if you’ve ever seen a documentary on these things the kids hate it and are only doing it because their mother makes them.

      I’ve seen plenty of cases, including family, where a girl is forced to do a particular activity because the mother obviously didn’t get to as a child. Actually I think this is a typical parental thing where they’re making up for their own childhood and innermost desire.

    • SCOB says:

      01:56pm | 16/04/10

      Adults can make their own decisions on whether they want to humiliate themselves in order to be on TV.  Children should be kept away from TVs tendency to chew up and spit ordinary people out for the sake of ratings.  Unfortunately being on TV is regarded as the measure of worth - how about the kids get on with their homework and decide as adults if they wish to prostitute themselves for the sake of being on camera.

      Reply

    • 6c legs says:

      02:45pm | 16/04/10

      Anyone who thinks that our young children aren’t being sexualised by the Media advertisers retailers and even by (some) parents, are living in lala land.

      I witness it daily, and I think what confuses me the most is how some of the parents totally fail to understand how they are setting their children up for ‘failure’ as adults.

      a short experience of mine:
      A mother (neighbour)  excused her not quite10year old sons behaviour (rocking my roof/windows) because a *7/8yo* girl told him that she would: “suck ya c**k if you do that”  .
      first…How on earth does a girl that age know to use her ‘sexuality’ in that way!???
      second…Why does the boys mother think that that’s even a perfectly ‘normal discussion’ between 2 children under 10!???
      And third…  *why* was she, the mother, not too embarrassed/ashamed to relate the story to me!???

      Back on topic…  How we dress is an advertisement to strangers about who we are —whether *we* like that fact or not!.
      And parents/guardians who fail to understand that simple concept are failing in their duty of care to their children.

      When I became aware of how ruthless the “free market” was when it decided to ‘sex up’ their marketing to and of children, even concocting a new word - Tween - for it, is the ‘day’ that I started questioning my own support of the whole “let the market decide” concept.

      Sadly,  we humans don’t like admitting ‘we’ are wrong about something,  so the retailers, advertisers, media, and wholesalers will continue to get away with making squillions from idiot-parents who have no clue about the damage that they contribute to society, and will continue buying inappropiate clothes to dress their children in.
      And If a non university educated mutt like me can grasp how unhealthy it is to allow children to be commodified like this, and in this manner, I don’t understand how the so called educated parents can not ?????

      At least American parents haven’t been suckered into this mainly UK/Australian problem - something no doubt to do with the countries prudish attitude to sex. ?  Parents there have other issues with Violence being pushed into their childrens lives. (thats at least according to the many i’m in contact with… )

      Reply

    • Liz says:

      02:46pm | 16/04/10

      What abizaree world we expect our children to live in!

      Reply

    • 6c legs says:

      02:55pm | 16/04/10

      “emma” @ 11.42am.

      I send my grandson those gift cards (for a range of reasons). Thank you for yours and others perpsective, I will ask his parents if they have a problem with it… although I’m sure that if it were a problem I would’ve been told. lol

      Reply

    • pheelion says:

      02:02pm | 17/04/10

      If a parent has no control over their child’s spending it is the parent who has the problem and blaming everybody and everything else is not going to solve anything.

    • Lauren says:

      02:47pm | 16/04/10

      I can’t help but think, what is wrong with these parents??

      I saw the new kiddies paegent being covered on Kerri-anne the other week (I was running late for uni and the tv was just on, honest!) and the manager of the Australian beauty paegents kept on saying how much fun it is for the girls, and how it is ALL about how much the girls want to do it.

      Ya think?

      I remember when I was a young girl I’d read mum’s trashy mags whilst watching Playschool, wanting to be a Princess just like Diana and have so many jewels and dresses and whatnot. I’d also steal my mother’s lipstick and use it, or try and walk in her heels.. You know, the average things young girls want to do (ie copy their mothers)

      So of course these girls would want to to enter the paegent, because they’re constantly told how beautiful they are (well they are) and how special they are… They beg and plead with their mummies and daddies to do it, and the mummies and daddies think, oh yes you’d be so good at it, probably the best, and the child’s childhood is completely wiped out.

      Clearly I don’t have children, my opinion of sloppy selfish parents would most likely change when I have kids. But my folks were tough, good honest parents. My grandparents never spoilt us (very old and sick) and when I’d plead and beg and scream for some lipstick I’d get a smack and sent to my room (with no laptop, tv, Wii etc).

      I say all these things now, I should come back and read this in seven years time…

      Reply

    • pheelion says:

      01:31pm | 17/04/10

      Re your penultimate paragraph.  My opinion of “sloppy selfish parents” didn’t change when I had children, if anything it intensified.  I think maybe the people who consider these things before having children have a better chance of avoiding certain pitfalls.

    • Mum of lots says:

      06:51pm | 16/04/10

      It comes down to parents, not grandparents. I have had grandparents give gift vouchers. Depending on the store I substitute cash. If the store is comparatively innocuous I guide how the child spends her/his money. Like all mother’s I think my children are beautiful. I would never push to allow them to enter pageants or dress in any sexualised/adult fashion. Childhood is too short to be destroyed with the false maturity implied by make-up or adult clothing or constantly needing attention from an outside world.

      One of my daughter’s is in grade 6, her class mates wear make-up etc and are geared only to please the boys. My daughter is not (nor are her siblings). The peer pressure, the marketing pressure, the pressure from other parent’s is awful. I have to teach the children not to be swayed and deal with parent’s who feel I am holding my children back. Ludicrous. I have had grand-parents give bra’s to 8 year olds with the reasoning “Oh it’s just my bit of fun”  And I have removed them until the child is older. I would far rather upset a grand-parent than look the other way. Age doesn’t necessarily mean wisdom. It can simply mean that you have lived longer.

      You can teach them. A child is not some sort of stubborn, unteachable creature. My older girls are never orange with make-up or fake tan or moaning that they have been dumped, or overlooked yet again. My older son doesn’t view young girl’s as so many scalps on a belt or accessories.

      Being a parent has never been easy. Each successive generation faces its problems. These are among the problems this generation has to deal with.  There is no rule book written, you work within the frame of your day/era and allow sense and maturity to guide you.  Let’s be truthful, even adults aren’t free from peer or marketing pressure.

      Reply

    • pheelion says:

      02:00pm | 17/04/10

      Hear hear.  Too many parents seem to think that their child’s behaviour, morals, ideals etc is completely out of their hands.  I have never seen the parent of a well adjusted, happy, polite, helpful teen shake their heads saying “where did I go right”.  You are the first line of influence with your child and if you use this correctly it doesn’t really matter what other people say or do. 

      My 14 year old daughter’s step-mother told her she was probably a lesbian because she didn’t have boyfriends yet.  My daughter who has a very good relationship with boys fraternally (she has told me “likes” certain boys but seeing all the angst and drama going on with her friends dating lives doesn’t want that in her life right now), laughed it off, but I dread to think how this would have affected her if she didn’t have the high self esteem (built on nothing to do with looks or sexuality) she does.

      “Let’s be truthful, even adults aren’t free from peer or marketing pressure.”  It is the adults who are most susceptible to marketing pressure who throw up their hands in defeat when their children are marketed at.  As soon as my children were old enough to respond to an ad with “I want that” my response was “I know darling the person who made that ad got paid a lot of money to make you want that”.

    • Soos says:

      09:45pm | 16/04/10

      ...@ 6c legs says:03:45pm | 16/04/10
      “At least American parents haven’t been suckered into this mainly UK/Australian problem .....”
      You are kidding, aren’t you? Does the name Jonbenet Ramsay ring any bells for you?

      Reply

    • Samantha says:

      11:34pm | 18/04/10

      You can complain until the cows come home about marketing pressure. The parents responsibility is to judge and determine what is good and bad.

      1. parents see their kids as a reflection of themselves so if someone tells them they are pretty/cute then they will do anything to continue receiving this praise.
      2. parents molly coddle their kids by telling them they are winners instead of ensuring their kids understand what their weaknesses are and what their strengths are - in other words do not lie to them
      3. parents should tell their kids the truth about the marketing and the lies they put out just to sell.
      4. parents should tell their kids that they will not always get what they want
      5. parents should tell their kids that there will always be someone better/prettier/funnier in life and that is OK. Be happy with who you are.

      This is all about competition and the look at me factor !!

      Reply

    • SkepDad says:

      10:03am | 19/04/10

      Putting their dubious ethics aside, these companies are in the business of making money.  They will not produce these products and events if there is no demand.  Your child doesn’t have the money to consume these things without your consent.

      It always comes back to the parents.  If you have a child, it is your responsibility to raise them.  If you don’t like what the media, your own parents, your partner’s parents, the next door neighbours or your child’s friends are peddling to your child, it’s your responsibility to fix it.

      If you’re old enough to bring a child into the world, you’re old enough to be a responsible parent.  Grow TF up.

      Reply

    • Rose says:

      03:58pm | 19/04/10

      Yep there must be something wrong. Just after our daughter married nearer 30 along with her husband we decided to go to the local for a counter lkunch after doing some work being helped by the new husband. We were taking our meals and a larger group came in all wiht babies in arms some up to crawling age. Started screaming and tossing themselves about. One Mother put her young one on the floor to scream. Gees must be play group for new Mothers. Since complaint only met with oh we can’t stop them!

      Reply

    • Lisa says:

      11:43pm | 20/04/10

      You might see a little girl in mascara and big hair. She is still an innocent who is enjoying dress-ups and feeling like a princess. All little girls are innocent. Most big girls are too, as a matter of fact. If we had a more responsible attitude to wholistic sexuality as a society, we wouldn’t have this anguish about girls and how they dress.

      Reply
 
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