A Christmas wish-list for the undeserving
Ever wondered what would have happened if Santa forgot to turn up one year? Well Copenhagen may not be quite the North Pole but that’s the scenario that looks like playing out this Christmas.
While 73 per cent believing that the Copenhagen conference is important, only 19 per cent think its likely a deal to address global climate change will end up in their stocking.
In the midst of this misery, Santa’s Little Helpers at the Punch today attempt to spread a little joy with our inaugural Christmas Gift List for the Undeserving.
Making Christmas sing this year is a big ask: 2009 was the year of the GFC, the ETS, the NRL and other acronyms that promised way more than they delivered.
Our feelgood initiative follows the return of some positively grumpy feedback in our final Essential Report.
Feedback included the following pieces of Christmas humbug:
73 per cent of people think Copenhagen is important but 74 per cent don’t think a deal will be forthcoming
38 per cent of Australians say they will be spending less on Christmas this year (with just 11 per cent spending more)
And only 45 per cent of Australians enjoying a Christmas bash paid for by the boss with 31 per cent having to pay themselves and three per cent saying the party has been canceled altogether.
And this sense of desolation does not just affect average punters - amongst our rich and famous the gloom of a down year is being felt as well.
Which is why the Punch is today launching its Christmas Appeal for the Un-deserving, so that those in our society who really need a little support can find the means celebrate.
How does work? Simply nominate the thing one of our political or cultural leaders most needs and the Punch will don the red suit and deliver it to them before midnight, December 24.
To get you started, here’s our short list:
Kevin Rudd - a Tony Abbott to hit the Coalition with (already delivered)
Tony Abbott - an ETS to hit Kevin Rudd with (still in the mail)
Barnaby Joyce - a box of bananas to practice his finance on
Rupert Murdoch -Google
The SMH - Annabel Crabb
Malcolm Turnbull - a pooper scooper
Nick Minchin - it came early
Greg Bird - Plastic drinking cups
Brendon Fevola - Anything in Melbourne
Penny Wong - Ian McFarlane
Ian McFarlane - Penny Wong
Joe Hockey - Movie tickets to: He’s just not that into you.
Julie Bishop - RAID
Kristine (Kiki) Keneally - a pair of scissors to cut her strings with
NSW ALP head office - control and power (they have seem to have lost it somewhere)
Joe Tripodi and Eddie Obeid - (see above, might have what they are looking for)
Richard Wilkins - Jeff Goldblum death certificate
Virginia Trioli - Sanity
David Penberthy - His by-line in a newspaper
Tiger Woods - a new hobby now he’s given up sleeping around (oh and golf).
Mark Latham - Peace on Earth and Goodwill to all men.
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