A bogan’s revenge: 10 signs you’re an inner-city tosser

Margaret Gray says:

06:10am | 06/11/09

Too easy…

You smugly ride a bicycle to work wearing corporate lycra.

You fail to see the irony in having your own $2000 Machine de Cafe in your ‘apartment’ while insisting on free trade lattes only at the ‘office’.

Despite being whiter than Caspar, deep down you know you have black ancestry…somewhere. 

Otherwise, how could you explain how cool you are?

hoofman says:

06:17am | 06/11/09

There’s nothing that much wrong with bogans. It’s good that there are special suburbs for them.  I do feel that they are oppressed though, having to endure high crime rates where they live and long trips to work (if they can get it) on overcrowded roads or trains. A Bogan Pride movement is definitely needed.

sarah says:

06:55am | 06/11/09

Hate it when they embrace everyday low-rent things for ironic effect, or like its some type of back-to-basics, “look at me im so humble”, movement. When for the rest of us it’s just normal.

Some examples,
Growing vegetables in your back yard
Keeping chooks in your back yard
Buying a slab of beer
Going to the country
Shopping at a local store
Talking to your neighbours
Buying something from the $2 shop
Basic car maintenance
Going to a sporting event

I know someone who is studying “the aestetics of poverty in fashion”.

WHR says:

07:20am | 06/11/09

11: You vote Green.

danj says:

07:35am | 06/11/09

Its jealousy. The types that coined the phrase ‘cashed up bogans’ are secretly jealous that the blokes who left school and went and did a plumbing or carpentry apprenticeship while they spent six years at uni doing an arts degree with honours are making more money than them and have a better lifestyle than them.

The cashed up bogans are homeowners, often a smallbusiness owner with a new SS commodore or XR8 parked in the garage (which they probably paid cash for), married with a couple of kids and a jetski or motorbike round the back for the weekend. They take the fam for a holiday to sunny Queensland regularly and enjoy a barbie and a few VBs or Jimmys with their mates.

The arts graduate is still renting in a share house in Carlton, has a crappy job where they’re on 30 grand a year, drive an 82 Peugeot, spend their spare time at a cafe in Fitzroy by themselves sipping lattes while reading a book. The last trip away was to Nepal to do some volunteer work so that they could feel better about themselves and feel better than their friends. If they do have a beer it will be a corona which is just overpriced dishwater, that’s why you have to put the lemon in.

And all the while the arts graduate can’t understand why CUB has a happier life when at the end of the day they’re… a bogan, so they make lists like this to feel better about themselves.

Paul says:

07:46am | 06/11/09

Cash just turns Bogans into chameleons or inner city bogans. It’s the Ken and Barbie next -generation bogan. Nothing has changed except for the hairstyles and clothes. A vacant, alcopop fiend ,orange sprayed tanned, blinged up, Nissan driving Gold Coaster is still a bogan. Is still channelling their inner bogan - even with blank botox foreheads and plastic porn lips! Just as we have many politician boofheads that qualify (you know who they are NSW). Don’t judge books by their 3-syllable words or expensive covers.

Emily says:

08:01am | 06/11/09

I love this! I too grew up in the suburbs, moved inner-city, then to London for seven years and guess what? Now I am happily back in the suburbs (even further out that where I grew up…we couldn’t afford it!). In fact, I am proud to say I live in a suburb that has long been derided for being Bogan. 

Now I am mortgaged-up with two small kids. There is a real charm about Boganism. In my mind it isn’t nasty. It is just people who like what they like and don’t care what the inner-city crowd think. (In my experience a lot of the inner-city crowd are those from the ‘burbs or the country who are desperately trying to band-aid inferiority complexes. Just like the Aussies who three months after landing in London have a Kylie Minogue accent!)

Bah says:

08:12am | 06/11/09

Oh, poor sad bogan.  This is pretty tragic really - you just can’t stand people who are smarter than you, can you?

10. You haven’t heard of any of the music they play in laneway festivals, reminding you of your narrow view of life.
9. You are the oppressed, and you are jealous.
8. The closest you will get to ‘manager’ is working at McDonalds.  No, Hungry Jacks.  McDonalds is way too high class.
7. You’ve never left Australia.  Or possibly even your State. 
6. You don’t notice the furniture in bars, because you’re too busy starting a fight outside of them, or passing out under the pool table.
5. I think you are confusing this hairstyle with something you saw in the Fountain Lakes carpark.  Or your mother.
4. Your idea of ‘clever’ TV is Hey Hey its Saturday.
3. You can barely string a sentence together.
2. Your conversations are about smokes, footy, and what happened in today’s soaps. 
1. You can hang out with them.  They are boring, vacuous, and have bad taste.  You obviously fit right in.

jed says:

08:16am | 06/11/09

how exactly is this a bogan’s revenge? you write coherently, work for triple j, and study law. it seems more like a pr exercise - positioning yourself as a self appointed bogan mouthpiece to hopefully snatch airtime with mel & kochie, or lisa & karl, when they need a safe, but scruffy, guy to discuss culture trends. oh wait, that’s just what a bogan would do. my apologies.

Andrew Goff says:

08:16am | 06/11/09

Woo Hoo! One out of ten - I use big words!

Which I think qualifies me to say that you are a cultureless outer suburban bogan beyond any shadow of a doubt.

Liz says:

08:24am | 06/11/09

Yep you’re a neo-bogan but you’ll grow out of it.

SM says:

08:25am | 06/11/09

That’s a pretty unimaginative list you’ve come up with.  And not even funny

Steve Smith says:

08:27am | 06/11/09

What does a student know about bogans?

iansand says:

08:43am | 06/11/09

You left out “Quality of coffee is a relevant factor in your choice of addrress”.

Bob H says:

08:44am | 06/11/09

The Australian class war is developing nicely.  Using stereotypes to feel superior to a different group of people you despise helps distance yourself from that group and so deal with them heartlessly.  Same hatred mechanism as racism but somehow this is acceptable.  Although it is just a bit of fun - there is genuine venom in some of the comments.

Sean says:

08:49am | 06/11/09

I thought both Luke and Bah’s lists had a good grain of truth in them. Describes all you southern big city types well

RT says:

08:50am | 06/11/09

Margaret Gray: “You fail to see the irony in having your own $2000 Machine de Cafe in your ‘apartment’ while insisting on free trade lattes only (whatever they are - do you mean ‘fair trade’?) at the ‘office’” - while neither owning my own coffee machine nor insisting on free trade lattes, I fail to see the irony myself. Couldn’t a person own an expensive coffee machine and use fair trade beans in it as well as at work? You might want to sneer, but it’s not ironic or hypocritical, is it?

Peter Thornton says:

08:55am | 06/11/09

I especially like number 4. Geeze I’m fed up with listening to wordy, long-winded descriptions of popular culture from self-appointed and unsmiling coolsie gurus. When I hear such things I feel like saying: hey, idiot, it’s a bloody TV show and you are not that person who wrote the clever deconstruction you recently read, OK!

Carry on.

Paul says:

08:58am | 06/11/09

what hair product are you using there big feller? Niiice!

James says:

09:00am | 06/11/09

Nice response! ‘Things bogans like’ - it’s not funny, it’s not affectionate, and it IS snobbish. It’s so ironic they have to say ‘We’re not picking on the poor ...’ Isn’t that awfully like number 6 on their list, ‘I’m not racist, but ...’? (Actually there’s an idea. Could they do ‘Things boatpeople like’? Topical, and it would be hilarious!)

LKB says:

09:02am | 06/11/09

Brilliant. And I class myself as an inner-city tosser.

boob says:

09:04am | 06/11/09

pretending you like bogans, have bogan friends, are a bogan at heart etc…

Fazal says:

09:12am | 06/11/09

What about the ‘traffic-light’ mob? Green because they’re too yellow to be Red?

Budz says:

09:39am | 06/11/09

Bah said:  “7. You’ve never left Australia.  Or possibly even your State. “

You clearly havent been overseas then! Most of the Aussies I met overseas were bogans. They travel more than the average uni person.
The other type of person I met overseas a lot was the arts student that thought they could get a job after doing an arts degree in fine art, but now are thinking about other career options as they have realised the wasted 3 years of their life.

I preferred the company of Canadians overseas. They were all on their uni break and I seemed to have a lot more in common with them.

Macca says:

09:47am | 06/11/09

LOL @WHR, I’m guessing BAH votes green

monkeytypist says:

09:56am | 06/11/09

Just so you know Luke, being upwardly-mobile and voting for howard does not make you or lower class or “bogan” (if that is a class category).  The above-median income demographic in Australia supported Howard much more than the below-median - a convenient fact that Howard’s omnipresent mythmaking elites conveniently ignored. . .

dave says:

09:58am | 06/11/09

not very funny or witty

“stuff white people like” was one of the originals and deals with the same class in a much wittier way.

intepid says:

10:03am | 06/11/09

Oh great, a vacuous follow up to the Poser Map of Australia article… this is starting to feel like you people are just trolling for responses. Half of your points don’t even fit the stereotype, let alone the reality (“depressing conversations”... WTF?)

chris says:

10:16am | 06/11/09

Good on ya luke for getting this out there…..#9 especially, god forbid anyone ever describe a family from the Asian continent as….(brace yourselfs, sit down and make sure you don’t have a history of heart failure or are currently pregnant)....: “Asians”. Gosh! That would be racist….wouldn’t it?
and AMEN to Danj….you are absolutely spot on!!!

Bogan Bob says:

10:20am | 06/11/09

No 14: You protest logging and wood chipping but drink your lattes from paper cups and dab your mouth with paper napkins.

Giles says:

10:25am | 06/11/09

You believe farmers actually sell their produce at Farmer’s Markets.

Nancy says:

10:27am | 06/11/09

thank you all for giving me a really good laugh!! all SPOT ON and hilarious!

Lady Tosser says:

10:28am | 06/11/09

Dear Luke,

There’s a typo in your bio…

Which brings us to number 15: you correct people’s spelling and are put off by shortened words in text messages. 

Jesus, I tick just about every box in your list… And I grew up in Bankstown.

Misha Ketchell says:

10:30am | 06/11/09

Good stuff. But isn’t this just “stuff white people like” folded back on itself in Australia? The target seems to be the same gang. One more characteristic.—you’re an inner city tosser, but you find this stuff funny anyway b/c you’re so ironic and above it all you can laugh at yourself while everyone else is laughing at you.

carl palmer says:

10:42am | 06/11/09

It must be Friday – 0 out of 10 for me. They also can’t tell the difference between good and bad coffee because it’s always full of that “white froth”.

Maxie says:

10:49am | 06/11/09

You lost me after that rather lame description of laneway festivals. right, because the people in that video don’t look like they’re smiling, or generally having a good time at all.
the difference between this unimaginative list, and sites such as ‘Stuff White People Like’ is that SWPL is written by an insider, writing about his own kind, and it’s not mean-spirited.
Can you see the difference yet? or do you need someone to draw you a diagram?

Jamie says:

11:09am | 06/11/09

That video actually looks pretty fun. Uh you should probably have a look at it first mr article writer dude.

AdamC says:

11:13am | 06/11/09

When I had to explain what ‘bogan’ means to my Malaysian Chinese boyfriend’s parents, I defined it as “a term of abuse people use to demean people who live in the suburbs.” I agree that class in Australia is increasingly being defined by where you live (that is, how far from the city), what you wear and what you like to do with your spare time.

What you do – rather than how much you earn – also seems to be a factor. For example, people in semi-professional, desk-based jobs often seem to believe they are somehow better than ‘tradies’ who probably earn more than they do. It is all rather silly.

Having said that, when you walk into a furniture store and see bogans buying ugly, three-seater reclining sofas with cup-holders and an inbuilt fridge cavity, you realise they genuinely do have awful, awful taste! And you also realise what people are talking about when they use the term cashed-up bogan. Those hideous things cost colossal amounts. 

(PS, I realise that taking this post so seriously means I probably tick a couple of the tosser boxes. And I don’t care, I know what I am.)

stephen says:

11:56am | 06/11/09

Payback bro’. Bogans love payback. It’s our-er- their one defining quality. And it’s come in mighty handy sometimes. (Or so I’m told.) You see, bogans have there own rules cause there overly sentimental and think no-one will understand. It’s called causeequalseffect. No irony, no paradox, no future-learners, and no idea what is justice. Bogans love action and activity, and fer you young ladies who may oneday get caught with a flat tyre on a rainy day - well - it may well be that Bogan who’ll stop and lend a hand, cause the inner-city punks (we-er-they call ‘em punks) would not have a clue.

Sheridan says:

12:13pm | 06/11/09

Weirdly, I think I AM an inner city tosser - but I don’t relate to your list. Mine would look like this:
1) I won’t leave home if I get a good parking spot.
2) I have to eat my food quickly, or it gets dirty.
3) I bought Hidden Sydney (!) and wanted my money back because I knew all the places.
4) My hairdresser works from home.
5) The traffic sounds like the ocean to me.
6) Non of my clothing has brand names.
7) I have a hot-line number to the council graffiti removal service.
8) My garbage is picked up every day - but the council bins don’t fit in my house.
9) I love the mounted police… they scare the shit out of the junkies.
10) I can name six single origin coffee shops, and five local aboriginal tribes.

Homer Trinidad says:

12:15pm | 06/11/09

I don’t think Nietzsche wld really have much to say about Bart Simpson. On the other hand, Noam Chomsky listed Bart Simpson as one of his greatest 100 philosophers of all time. Go figure.

You missed one.. says:

12:36pm | 06/11/09

You complain ad-nauseum about the lack of vegan options on the menu then sign and make comments about how un-enlightened people are in this day and age.

Sam Chowder says:

12:42pm | 06/11/09

On my regular inner city promenade, I am abused by beggars because I do not carry cash, my previous mugging was regarded by the police as a standard city experience, hence empty pockets and no watch.  I skip over needles and spew only to land in fresh dog turd giving me a genuine Parisian experience.  The hundreds of places to get a coffee in a mug that cost the price of a meal, are for mugs - and anyone else that has been told sophistication and success can be achieved by sitting cross legged on a sidewalk sipping coffee, a drink that is bad for you.  There are never any toilets open, so one is forced to add to the representation of The Ganges that flows out from under the large commercial garbage bins that have not been emptied, probably because the urine stench is a health hazard.  Festivals, concerts and nightclubs, bring in loud crowds from who knows where, who think the area is their toilet and leave rubbish and body fluids for the council to sweep away only as far as to keep it out of tourist’s line of sight.  When I return home to an expensive rabbit hutch I empty my nose of the dust and exhaust that hasn’t made it into my lungs, it sure is grand living in the city.

Trans says:

12:45pm | 06/11/09

Wow, tricky to throw myself on one side of the fence or other - what are you if you eat organic, but love Guns n Roses? Bipolar maybe?

papachango says:

12:58pm | 06/11/09

Love a good bit of inner city stereotyping, but you left out a few things:

11. You have a picture of Mao and or Che Guevara on your wall
12. You obsessively shop at farmer’s markets or organic food co-ops but then get steamed dim sims of Macca’s as a guilty pleasure.
13. You drink the latest fashionable white wine grape, albarino. Despite the chardonnay socialist tag - chardy is for bogans, sauvigon blanc is too mainstream, and pinot grigio was soooo 2008!

I live in the inner city myself, but while I meet a few of the food ones, I don’t meet any of the political stereotypes. I like to refer to the ones who meet point number 9 (really feeling for the oppressed despite being white middle class) as ‘radishes’ - red on the outside but white on the inside.

Incidentally I note the word bogan has changed meaning over the years. In the 80s is was a class snob term that, as well as the moccasins and acid wash jeans, meant an anti-social, welfare-dependent type.

Now it’s just anyone who lives in Northcote/Balmain wankers call ‘the bourgeois fringe’, and can equally refer to people with a reasonable amount of money, a good work ethic but lacking the inner city ‘sophistication’ (snobbery?). I note inner city lefties who used to champion their cause have turned on them for refusing to be oppressed and getting wealthy through capitalism and hard work instead - now their greatest sin is living in houses thata re too large and not desigend by a famous architect

Shama says:

01:07pm | 06/11/09

OK I went and read Things Bogans Like and it appears that the arts degree helps, inner city tossers write way better than bogans.

Helen says:

01:12pm | 06/11/09

Danj: ...smallbusiness owner with a new SS commodore or XR8 parked in the garage (which they probably paid cash for), married with a couple of kids and a jetski or motorbike round the back for the weekend. ...

See, this is a problem. It’s not just a matter of taste - it’s more than that. One person with a jetski or dirt bike can ruin a quiet spot for everyone else, not to mention the effect of dirt bikes and other bogan-popular ATVs on our fragile environment. The “right” to own and play with these overgrown boy’s toys is a precarious concept and one that will come under increased scrutiny in the future, I think. It will of course be spun as “elites” “persecuting” the “majority” but, too bad.

evs says:

01:49pm | 06/11/09

This is more like a list of compliments than a list of downfalls.
Not even close to a come back.

Bogans just make themselves sounds even more stupid by trying to retort.

I’m not worried. I have everything I need and can smash the average bogan into next week without working up a sweat.

Next…

Allan says:

01:51pm | 06/11/09

Another one is that the Inner City Tosser thinks the John Pilger is right (dosnt matter which topic )

Hello_Emily says:

01:50pm | 06/11/09

Things Bogans Like is funnier.

As is this: http://stuffhipstershate.tumblr.com/

Em

Charlie Miso says:

02:19pm | 06/11/09

Is this proof that bogans can’t write and are not funny?

Or than only Bogans read The Punch?

Inner city wanker says:

02:26pm | 06/11/09

I think a better addition to the list would have been -

You agree with this statement - there would be nothing more embarrassing than my friends finding a can of instant coffee in my cupboard.

Cuppa says:

03:01pm | 06/11/09

HA HA, Danj that was gold! And absolutely spot on.

Sim says:

03:25pm | 06/11/09

you forgot

11. You claim to love Khe Sanh, but then can only sing “THE LAST PLANE OUT OF SYDNEYS ALMOST GONE nah nah nananah nah HONG KONG

Paulio says:

03:56pm | 06/11/09

Few extras from @terrortv (twitter) : If a rottweiller humps your leg you fake an orgasm. Bogans believe Jesus was white. After 10 beers you can’t remember the steps to Nut Bush City Limits but dance it anyway. After 12 beers you dance like Peter garrett. You shoplift at garage sales. Five finger discounts trump a bargain.

dg says:

04:27pm | 06/11/09

wow. way off.

ts says:

04:42pm | 06/11/09

wow, i hadn’t read things bogans like before.  and it’s not at all funny. 

way to blatantly rip off an idea (stuff white people like) and then ruin it for everyone.

Damian says:

05:00pm | 06/11/09

The thing about the blog you tried to match your response up to, is that it was actually funny.  You let boganity down.

Paul Keating says:

05:22pm | 06/11/09

11. You talk about refugees and the plight of the poor, then pass around the Bollinger and have security cars roaming the neighbourhood to make sure the aforemnetioned do not come with 50 ft of you.

unrepentant posh tosser says:

06:24pm | 06/11/09

Thanks be I’m neither.  I am unrepentantly, proudly and loudly posh.  I went to a good private school - and I think it matters.  I don’t wear business shirts with pockets.  I avoid hiring people with strange spellings of traditional names.  Darling Harbour is as far west I go (unless to see friends at Yass), and I only go south of Hyde Park to go to the airport.  Most of the east is a bit spray-tanned for my liking, too. 

You mightn’t like me - but by God I’m glad I’m neither some limp-wristed pinko spiv, or a bogan that comes to my place to do the lawn.  What a sorry dichotomy that would be.  Posh tosser and proud.

lukejwilliams says:

07:50pm | 06/11/09

Thanks to everyone for their comments and taking the time to read this article.  It wasn’t meant to be taken seriously.  So, let me just clear a few things up
1- I have no ambition to appear on Sunrise.
2- My Mum doesn’t have pink highlights in her hair.
3- I agree I don’t have the wit or humour to match ‘things white people like’ or even ‘things bogans like’
4- I am sorry my writing is so awful, I did an arts degree and everything
5- I am amazed at how many responded people to this issue.

Steve Sudlow says:

02:07am | 07/11/09

What are chooks?

Useathesaurus says:

02:38am | 07/11/09

Unnecessarily is, in fact, an overly large word.

groucho says:

06:41am | 07/11/09

Mate, let’s face facts.

Practically no pieces on The Punch are worth taking seriously. The majority are either
[] mindless fluff, like this one, and barely worth the effort of replying, let alone reading, or
[] hectoring lectures, usually devoid of checkable fact, dashed off by hacks or right-wing ranters.

And many of the replies are little better, “opinions” splashed out with little or no attempt at reason or factual support, as lectures to “morons”.

Its a shame to see a major media firm endlessly peddling so much misleading twaddle. These simplististic, left/right, bogan/ posh, black v white dongathongs reflect the low standard of media reporting in our country.

Just occasionally it’s worth popping by to make the point: we’re not all stupid and we don’t need to be lectured on how to find out or how to think.

Sam says:

10:34am | 07/11/09

bogan is used as a racist term for white people these days.

Luke Williams says:

10:34am | 07/11/09

And yet Groucho here you are both reading and replying to this piece.

Whilst something like Mark Colvin’s very high quality and enjoyable piece on Iran has barely raised a ripple.

Mate, you tell me what’s going on????

I’m more than happy to be lectured on this one.

Dallas Beaufort says:

11:07am | 07/11/09

Number 12. Frightened to get your hands dirty!

Dallas Beaufort says:

11:18am | 07/11/09

Number 13. Can’t plant a seed to grow a tree, as digging a hole in the concrete patio/garden is to much hard work and dirty.

Fergus says:

11:22am | 07/11/09

Yeah, Sam us white people are so hard done by. So discriminated against. It’s inhumane.

...unbelievable, get some perspective.

Bogans are bogans, tossers are tossers, and sometimes they even overlap. Get over it, this petty bickering does no one any favours.

Michael Jayfox says:

01:26pm | 07/11/09

As one of the authors of “Things bogans like”, I’m bemused by the lengthy string of comments to this (decent) satirical article. We’ve discovered that defining, defiling, and defending the bogan is something that’s more central to our national psyche than people realise, until they find themselves unable to resist weighing in on the matter

And for what it’s worth, we’ll be continuing to post a new entry to our blog each weekday until we run out of ideas. Which will be a while away, because we’re bloody awesome and know heaps of stuff.

Luke Williams says:

03:01pm | 07/11/09

Ha ha ha.  You sure do know heaps of stuff.  It is hard for me to come-up with new ideas when my only recent experience of inner-city culture has been eating at the ‘urban-style’ gourmet burger place at Knox City Shopping Centre. 

Which reminds me, when are you guys coming over to my place in Scoresby for a BBQ??

I’m still waiting on a theory about why so many people have an interest in whether they are ‘tossers’ or ‘bogans’. 

I think Michael Jayfox will agree that most of us are a little bit of both, depending on the situation.

Love your work, you bloody stuck-up city tossers.

intepid says:

04:03pm | 07/11/09

“I’m still waiting on a theory about why so many people have an interest in whether they are ‘tossers’ or ‘bogans’.”

Maybe it’s because of articles like this that provoke them into either a) having to defend using three-syllable words and enjoying good coffee, or b) piling on and insulting people who give them an inferiority complex.

stealth says:

04:22pm | 07/11/09

Numbers 1 and 6 seem to contradict themselves: ‘you decry bad taste,’ yet ‘You go to bars full of shithouse, retro, ugly furniture’.  I don’t think inner-city tossers (as ‘defined’ in this article, anyway) ‘decry bad taste’.  If anything they embrace bad taste in an ironic fashion.  Go to art school grad shows around the country and students are painting 50s furniture….

stephen says:

11:15pm | 07/11/09

Michael jay fox has Parkinsons. Ask him.

Lame says:

04:01pm | 08/11/09

Yawn. Groucho’s right, I reckon.  The Punch is looking pretty lame already, and its not just the lame-oh ranting replies.

I don’t come by as often as I did, as its really getting pretty samey, though the suss “award” last week cracked me up. Didn’t bother to post, but.

Chase Stevens says:

08:33pm | 08/11/09

I dunno Luke, sounds like you’ve got a case of tall poppy syndrome there. Might want to get that looked at.

Boris says:

12:46am | 09/11/09

Is this the same Luke Williams who used to be employed by the ABC and is now studying law? Aspiring to bogan status: ultimate sign you’re an inner-city tosser.

Rob says:

11:11am | 09/11/09

What a refreshingly high standard of comments in this blog . Most I read never seem to rise above puerile bickering. To quote Arnie ” I’ll be back !”

Luke Williams says:

12:09pm | 09/11/09

Maybe I am an inner-city tosser and I just can’t admit to it and I’ve become so lost in my tosser-irony about being a bogan I’ve started taking it literally and believed I actually am a bogan when I’m not.  But then again, while I’ve only met one boganish-type at the ABC (the fantastic Catherine Deveny) there are plenty who study law. 

I do like where your going with this Boris!

Mickey says:

12:48pm | 09/11/09

Bob H, the venom displayed is actually not surprising. If there is one thing most Australians despise, it is sopmeone who looks down their nose at others because of an address, or the list of possessions. And the posts of those like EVS and unrepentant posh tosser say quite a bit about their own fragile egos. What’s the matter, get picked on when you were younger? Inferiority complex maybe? I guess some people have enough missing within themselves that they need to put others down to feign self respect.

COF says:

12:55pm | 09/11/09

Marketing types. Soon enough the technique you use to scratch yourself will be assigned to a demographic. Or should I say group? I’m not sure where either word will place me in such a ghettoised view of the world.

If it keeps you sane by assuming all people are cattle assigned to different paddocks, good luck to you. I refuse to live being that ignorant.

That goes for the people you are criticising as well.

lateline33 says:

01:56pm | 09/11/09

Looks like a Bogan’s coffee in the pic - get out of there before you have to taste it!

retrogrouch says:

03:47pm | 09/11/09

I am really tired of this manufactured argument. It used to be Ockers vs US, U and NonU, the Hoipoloi vs Their betters and it was always rubbish.

Bad taste and poor manners transcend class and education. My simple guide is: is the person who is so nice to you rude to the waiter/bartender? The inner city Wanquer and the Aggro Ute Driver who does burnouts in my (suburban) street are only flip sides of one another. The rest of us are just busy working, playing, bringing up kids, enjoying each other’s company. I really don’t care if you don’t know who Derrida or Kevin Sheedy are. Are you a decent person? Do you do stuff instead of bragging about it?

Dave says:

04:16pm | 09/11/09

Spot on DanJ…and so admirably backed up by Helen going that extra mile to prove his point aptly

H of SA says:

06:28pm | 09/11/09

The interesting part about satire is that by definition it has a biting bit of reality to it, so in the “making fun of” there are some cultural buttons to be pressed there. Things bogans like’s commentary on the drunken indignity of Horse Racing is funny…..and frighteningly accurate

I guess, less important than what “class” you are is where your heart is at.

The singlet wearing drunk yobo demanding I kiss his aussie flag is rude, but then so is the shop owner looking at me like I am sub-human scum because I’ve voiced the opinion that $400 for a pair of jeans is a wasteful way to spend.

Should we assume the guy in the coffee shop reading crime and punishment is a snob? Maybe he’s one of the most relaxed and warm people you’ll meet.

Should we assume the guy buying the cheap beer is a bogan? Maybe he doesn’t have much cash because he can’t work too often while he completes his Masters in classical music.

Class? We make too big a deal out of it. Whether your considerate and friendley matters more than your percieved snobbery/boganness

Lazza says:

01:04am | 10/11/09

This article is pathetic.

Steeve says:

02:24am | 10/11/09

Lady Tosser,..
Just about laughed my ass off As I’m more or less the same and also lived in Bankstown.Only scored three or four last count..
Pretty sure i was the only guy from La Salle Bankstown in my starting year to graduate from Uni, and that was only due to the parentals shifting mid highschool to that bastion of class and refinement,..Tasmania?? I mean WTF were mum n dad TRYING to make me a bogan against my will? No dad, Peter garrett is not a poof for wanting to not cut down the trees,.. stop trying to burn my “Blue sky mining” tape. ahh memories…

And yes it is true. Nothing more Bogan or cringeworthy than hearing an Aussie tourist overseas.. That horrible flat nasal yowl that gets the language of Shakespeare, Bacon and Chaucer and mangles it into the atonal ramblings of Kevin “Bloody” Wilson. Had to change mine here in HK just so the locals could understand me and treat me with a bit more civility.
No mates here are Aussies either. Mainly Canadians, Brits and Germans. Its a sad day when you’re with a bunch of german and italian guys and realised your the most sober bloke in the joint..And you know you’re hammered too

nick says:

04:15pm | 11/11/09

just want to know want salvation army stores you shop at that has $2.50 furniture…have you seen there prices lately my local vinnies has a couch for $1100….yes $1100.

avelinahoe says:

03:02am | 12/11/09

number forward australia degree

Kamm says:

10:32am | 12/11/09

amusing if banal but needs a good sub

Joe says:

11:49am | 13/11/09

Why exactly do you use ‘obtuse’ as an example of a wanker’s unnecessarily convoluted vocabulary, while tossing off ‘Machiavelilan’ with a straight face only five paragraphs earlier?

Sam says:

03:22pm | 13/11/09

I’m pretty sure that most people would think I’m a real tosser if they heard some of what comes out of my mouth. I do have an inferiority complex. I like this quote from Gladiator “I’m not a man of the people but I like to think that I’m for the people”. Appart from that I think @H of SA’s post was best so far.

And what’s so bad about instant coffee?

Nick says:

12:52pm | 14/12/09

me and my 3 brothers are all bogans, there is no point denying it, sam is a plumber, dean a truck driver and Im a soldier.
The last time we were all together was 2006 before dean went back packing around the US, before i deployed to Afghanistan and 6 months before sam finished his apprenticship.

Mum was pretty chuffed when a boss from her work asked all 3 of us at her wedding what we did as we looked like true propper gents. we were shocked when he said we must either be consultants or uni students - what a shock he got.

It dosent matter if your a bogan or not, lifes what you make it, and what you do in it should only matter to you- no point judging others on looks alone, an open mind is never off limits even to bogans

2Nice says:

03:54pm | 14/12/09

@H of SA’s Reading your post reminded me of what my Great Nana Connor used to say “it’s nice to be important but it is more important to be nice”. Gee she she was a wise, proud, and posh bogan.

Luke Williams says:

10:40am | 15/12/09

Thanks for your comment, Nick.  Humans are just creatures who live and then die.  So when it comes to class and appearances - who cares, right?  Something tells me the question of ‘tosser’ or ‘bogan’ is really a false dilemma.  Of course, as a bogan I should not be allowed to know about false dilemma or ‘Machiavellian’ for that matter, so am too-educated to be working class?  Who cares, is probably the most appropriate answer.

And BTW 2Nice, your Nanna clearly rocks

Andrew McIntosh says:

12:45pm | 12/01/10

Bogans. Inner-city wankers. A plague on both your houses!

yas says:

02:03pm | 12/01/10

i only just figured out why as a member of Gen Y i should take a long hard look at my self. i can’t decide if i want to be a bogan or a tosser! very funny lists, nonetheless.

Sly Phy says:

05:09pm | 13/01/10

Problem is some people confuse looking like a bogan as actually being one.  A bogan is the girl who has another child for the extra welfare, buys a new plasma T.V. with it and endlessly complains when the price of ciggies goes up as if the ‘fukn guvmint’ has something against her personally.

The bloke who left school at 16 to become a chippy but thinks that people who don’t like Chisel are un-Australian, might look like a bogan and might share a few unfortunate common traits but at least he’s effectively a net asset to the country.

True boganism is a state of mind that is one of the most selfish and antisocial on the planet.  Why not leave the poor unfortunates that think Bundy is a gift from God alone and focus on the real rot in society.

Abolish the dole and make Austudy or sickness benefit the only avenue for collecting welfare.

Bartek Klimczak says:

12:40pm | 14/01/10

“which reminds you of where actually came from”

Where does ‘actually’ come from…a dictionary?
Surely you mean “where YOU actually came from”

I think if your going to bash intellectuals I would suggest proofing your essay for grammar errors to not appear to be dumber than you actually are…then again maybe the bad grammar was intended to be ironic, in which case my hat off to you sir.

Trolldoll says:

05:41pm | 14/01/10

The number 1 sign your a Tosser:

making a 10 Point list on how to recognise tossers of a different ilk!

Your all as bad as ech other

thornton says:

10:57am | 26/01/10

Australia Day..The new BOGAN wonderland..lets get pissed, show off Southern Cross Tatts (Bogan branding), drape ourselves in the flag (shirtless of course) , get really violent, scream out “**** off were full” or the gem “You flew here I grew here” and abuse anyone that is not a Northern Beaches, Sutherland or Westie bogan.

I say, get em all together, build a huge prison in the middle of the desert and drop them in it to rot.

isis says:

10:56am | 29/01/10

Just try being less of a bogan. I don’t like bogans and don’t want them in my house, that doesn’t make me a latte-loving, overeducated bore.

Dave says:

05:03pm | 29/01/10

“In which case you can probably talk about whether or not Bart Simpson fits the Nietzschean ideal.” When was this written, 1992? For such easy target practice this is a pretty lazy, uninspired list. And the author’s complaint about not wanting to be subjected to “yet another underground film festival” suggests he’s had an awful lot of inner city tosser experience, it’s actually quite easy to avoid those even when you are an inner-city tosser.

Martin says:

01:28pm | 17/02/10

The only reason tradies make so much money is because we haven’t imported enough immigrant tradies. Most of the immigrants we import are usually white collars. I’ll probably vote for Tony Abbott. Hopefully he’ll fix this up.

I consider myself somewhere inbetween the tosser and the bogan. I drink crappy beer and I smoke but I can’t stand watching sport.

agblaster says:

07:25am | 18/02/10

10. You go to Laneway Music Festivals
A what?  Oh, and I do play an instrument, well enough for fun. Blues rules.

9. You really, really feel for the oppressed
And? I’d prefer it if some of the oppressed got off their rings and looked after their own affairs. Bring the Army home, thanks.

8. You’re an uptight, Machiavellian Middle-Manager with ‘Raver-Style’ highlights in your hair.
Incomprehensible. Next.

7. You visit obscure countries and talk about how “cute” they are
Too much to see and do here, thanks. 

6. You go to bars full of shithouse, retro, ugly furniture
I don’t do bars. Too busy. Next.

5. You look a bit like La Roux
Who? Next.

4. You dress-up your love of TV as something intellectual or ironic.
Meh. I like TV. I hate ads. I like books, too. No ads!

3. You use unnecessarily large words
I don’t try and oversimplify everythying. 

2. You spend Saturday nights having deep, depressing conversations
I guess having loud laughter filled feeds with friends over won’t count then.

1. You decry bad taste, suburbanism, materialism, boganism, marriage and children or anything else which reminds you of where actually came from
The only things I decry are deliberate ignorance and offensively expressed bigotry. Words too big for you?

I’m with Groucho and the others - another black v white slag-off, the sort of lack-lustre dross the media thinks is “smart”.

Tell The Dear Owner we want content, not fairy-floss.

Shauna says:

03:09pm | 01/03/10

I found as a former office worker I didn’t really fit in.  I am also from a high socio-economic family, attended a non-government school, scored over 90 on the HSC but the folks pulled the pin financially and couldn’t go to study.  You see, I was not one of two things:  born overseas and a sycophantic drone, or a bogan.
I found being a bogan was manifested by:
bad taste;
hair highlights;
passing off cheap clothing (supre etc) as fashion;
reading trashy tabloid magazines;
smoking;
eating proprietary or franchised fast food;
only books read are pulp fiction rather than ‘literary’ stuff;
males only view sport not participate;
bragging about new things when you’re a big fish in a little pond;
only drinking alcopops or crap beer (not Coopers) or wine which is not bottled;
listening to commercial radio stations and watching predominantly commercial or cable TV.

Saskia says:

10:54am | 02/03/10

You say ‘like’ a lot

You have a sweeping fringe, skinny jeans and no muscle definition whatsoever

You decry how both the political parties ‘are just the same’ to mask the fact that you vote ALP with all the ferals

Kent says:

04:15pm | 02/03/10

You don’t get offended when someone points out that your ancestors were dirty violent criminals (cause they all were). And you accept criminality is in you too.

john says:

04:42pm | 02/03/10

“Bogan” is a term used by middle-aged people to descxribe people slightly less wealthy than they are.

Saskia says:

10:42am | 03/03/10

‘Bogans’ are ‘Old Labor’ or the Union side of the ALP

Inner City ‘Tossers’ are ‘New labor’ (or Greens if they are too embarrassed to say they vote Labor) or the chardonnay socialist side of the ALP

I love how both of these sad little groups despises each other but still vote rusted-on Labor