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Why a suburban mum gave her kids’ toy guns the bullet

Susie O'Brien

by Susie O'Brien

23 Dec 11:59am

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Filed under: Children, Christmas, Guns, Parenting

37 comments

Have your heard about the proposed Australian buyback for toy guns?

Think of all the Beyblades he can buy now. And no, Beyblades are not sharp. Pic: Calum Robertson

It’s the brainchild of Adelaide mother Sam Paior, and it has sparked fierce debate across the country. Last week’s Sandy Hook massacre reminded Sam how much she hates to see her two sons, Ben and Bailey, playing with guns.

The boys had a few replica guns they’d bought at the Royal Adelaide Show. So Sam had the idea of a buyback for her sons’ toy guns. If they wanted to, they could hand over their plastic weapons, and she’d give them $5 for each one.

I think it’s a great idea because I also really dislike toy guns. It’s the way the kids hold them, the way they move when they’re “hunting” each other, and the aggression they adopt when they’re trying to “kill” each other.

Now, I don’t think for a second that having a gun is going to turn my eight-year-old into a serial killer. As I wrote last week, I’m much more worried about US kids playing with the real thing.

But it’s the symbolism of toy guns that really bothers me. I just don’t like what the guns represent, and I don’t like the sort of games kids tend to play when they’re holding them.

If it’s been a while since you last bought a toy gun, and you’re imagining kids in the backyard going “pow, pow” with little cap pistols, then think again. Most toy guns these days are absolutely huge and include life-like features.

The sales spiel for the new-model Nerf Vortex Vigilon - with “rapid reloads and rapid fire technology” - talks about “having enough ammo on hand” which “can mean the difference between winning and losing” on missions.

And there’s the Nerf Vortex Praxis “pump-action, 10-disc blaster” with “removable 10-disc magazine for maximum firepower with minimum reloading time”.

Admittedly, most of these wannabe weapons come in lurid plastic colours and are unlikely to ever be mistaken for the real thing. Ever since a child in the US was killed by a police officer who mistook his toy gun for a real gun, most toy manufacturers and sellers have policies to ensure no toy gun resembles an actual gun.

But the internet has opened up the toy gun market, and our kids now have access to replica toy guns which look more like life-like.

I do think, however, that even plastic Nerf guns that shoot soft foam bullets give kids an early introduction to gun culture and encourage aggressive war games.

Sam’s idea for the toy gun buyback, which she posted on her Facebook page, quickly went viral and was picked up by the mainstream media. Immediately, her Facebook page was hacked by abusive trolls and gun nuts raging against the idea.

Sam, who I should admit used to be a friend of mine 20 years ago when we went to uni together, had to remove more than 400 abusive posts. The group she has formed, which is planning an event in February, now has a private Facebook site to guard against future attacks. It is such a pity.

What a sad world we live in when a mother, who just wanted to educate her sons about the dangers of guns, and start a meaningful dialogue with other kids about what’s happened in the United States, is attacked by vitriolic trolls.

As Sam explained, for her peaceful efforts she has been branded a “twat, an imbecile, a f****** retard, a moron, an idiot, a nutter and more”.

Facebook posters have called her pathetic and “another do-gooder and bible basher”.

“Why not try and buy back spoons next because they make people fat?” said one.

And a man, who is an armed guard, said she should not terrify her children about guns but instead “teach them to respect and safely interact with them”.

What rot. Guns are terrifying. Children shouldn’t be taught to safely interact with them; they should be taught never to go near them.

This sort of nasty abuse shows us how aggressive our society has become. It’s not like Sam was calling for all toy guns to be banned; she just wanted to find a way to reach out to other anti-gun parents and help them educate their kids.

I think it’s perfectly reasonable to take a stand and make a link between toy guns and the violent gun-loving culture that’s causing so much damage in the United States and elsewhere.

Scientists are divided over whether violent media and toys lead to actual violence and aggression in children. But many studies have found that prolonged and sustained exposure to violent games and media desensitises children to real violence.

It doesn’t make them violent, but it makes them accept violence as more commonplace.

In my mind there’s enough violence out there: just watch the nightly news and look at the trolls above. I, for one, don’t want to do anything more to encourage an acceptance of aggression among my kids.

And so, will I be buying back my kids’ guns this Christmas? You bet I will.

Comments on this post close at 6 pm Monday AEDST

Most commented

37 comments

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    • Greg in Chengdu says:

      11:28am | 23/12/12

      This is crazy. Did you know in Australia you can be charged and prosecuted for having a prohibited weopon for something as ridiculous as a toy gun or a walking stick. For Gods sake the last thing we need is for this to be encouraged.

      Reply

    • Greg in Chengdu says:

      01:31pm | 23/12/12

      Susie are you so worried about your childs mental state that you think they will turn into a mass murderer if you let them play with toy guns? .

    • Tom says:

      09:03am | 24/12/12

      its the ones torturing little puppies you have to watch - not the kids running around the yard or house burning up energy pretending to be someone there not ...

    • Bex says:

      11:33am | 23/12/12

      Buy them cotton wool instead!

      Reply

    • Sickemrex says:

      11:38am | 23/12/12

      How about confining your beliefs about whether children should be taught to safely handle firearms to you and yours and not tell the rest of us what at do. I would respect you saying you’re not teaching your kids to shoot but you come across pretty preachy telling others they shouldn’t.

      Myself and my two brothers learned target shooting and hunting at a young age. I made several State rifle teams and now utilise my shooting skills as part of my job which among other things, involves firearms instruction, so contributes to providing for my family. One of my brothers regularly helps keep his inlaws property free of feral animals, which helps them keep their chooks, fruit and veggies intact. None of us are in the least bit psychotic and are even slightly left leaning rather than stereotypically conservative.

      As a parent, I will be avoiding violent video games which I believe desensitise children to the actual consequences of violence.

      Reply

    • Philosopher says:

      12:15pm | 23/12/12

      keeping feral animals down helps preserve echidna populations. I’m guessing you are all for that, especially on hot days? smile

    • Sickemrex says:

      12:33pm | 23/12/12

      Haha, I don’t actually like that brand of knickers. Wedgies, you see.

    • Bex says:

      11:39am | 23/12/12

      Hands up those of you who have been through a massacre?
      How about a shooting of any kind?
      So how do you expect yourself or you child to survive one?

      Till you experienced the out of control crime problem, you can’t begin to understand the gun issue in the US.  Taking guns off people only leaves the criminals and the insane with them.

      When there is a mass shooting, waiting for the Police to arrive with their guns because you don’t have any, means you or they are dead.

      Reply

    • Bear says:

      12:36pm | 23/12/12

      Seeing as more people get shot by guns that are supposed to protect them than from ‘bad guy’ guns, adding more guns is clearly the answer. I can almost see giving up on the US but in another country where we don’t have the gun culture i fail to understand the pissing contest to be as pro NRA as possible! If we’re starting to not see them for the lunatics they are it says something about this stupid country!

    • Brian says:

      04:34pm | 24/12/12

      I will accept this as a valid argument if you can provide three examples of a massacre where a perpetrator was stopped by an armed civilian. Do not include off duty military or police officers, the event must be post 1950, and do not count any occasion in which the perpetrator has not killed at least three individuals in one location (to show it’s a massacre, not just a murder). I will be impressed if you can find one.

    • Ben says:

      11:56am | 23/12/12

      Just goes to show there are twits on both sides of the gun control debate.

      Reply

    • stephen says:

      11:57am | 23/12/12

      Guns can also shoot water - water pistols, anyone ? - and they are relatively harmless, and so are the guns you propose to buy back.
      What should be emphasized to children - and of course adults - is the terrible nature of unnecessary death that can result from real guns - it is the intent of the holder of such things which needs to be discussed to a child.
      Real guns can easily kill, but the toys, ordinarily, cannot.

      Reply

    • PJ says:

      12:02pm | 23/12/12

      Couple of things.

      There is no real evidence linking kids playing with toy guns and mad mass murderers.

      Ironically , Sam Paior enjoys personal safety because of the protection Guns provide her.
      The Police force stop those elements in our society taking whats hers for themselves.
      The Armed Forces stop other nations from invading her country and removing her personal freedoms.

      Both these scenarios are a possibility in Sam Paior life course, sadly.

      I’m for Gun control, but I recognise the positive side of weapons and bow to there necessity as preservers of our way of life.

      Sam Paior should acknowledge this and realise that we need people that are attacted to Guns and there associated occupations to be safe.

      Reply

    • Anjuli says:

      12:14pm | 23/12/12

      Both my girls have sons, they would not buy any war games or toys of the same ilk ,to see if it would make a difference. As the boys grew older and were taking notice of things around them ,they began eventually to pick up sticks used them as guns .It is in the genes as hunters and gatherers it is what makes them male . Now my grandsons have war games guns toy tanks and the likes.

      Reply

    • Greg in Chengdu says:

      12:38pm | 23/12/12

      Your exactly right. 1000 years ago kids played with wooden swords and spears, watch a litter of puppies playing and they are wrestling and play fighting. This is a natural part of child development ingrained in our genes. Its how kids learn to problem solve, gain confidence and social interaction as well. Toy guns just like toy swords from a 1000 years ago are merely the tools children use as a completely natural form of self education.
      I run summer camps for kids and being hot during summer I always buy enough water pistols for all the children so on the hottest days we can have a water fight with them divided up into teams and a team flag they have to defend. In thei camp journals its always one of the kids favourite activities and completely harmless.

    • Modern Primitive says:

      12:17pm | 23/12/12

      They’re boys, they don’t want to play with barbie dolls, they want to pretend they’re soldiers. Let the kids have their fun for crying out loud.

      Reply

    • LJ Dots says:

      03:58pm | 23/12/12

      I suppose this raises a salient point, is there a Barbie buyback scheme of some type being considered by parents for their daughters. You know, the unattainable body image, princesses jewels and ponies, all that that sort of guff that Barbie promotes.

      I’m not going all MRA here, though I wonder if it should receive the same attention.

    • Anubis says:

      10:09am | 24/12/12

      If a Barbie buyback prevents the creation of even a single Paris Hilton clone or a Kardashian wannabe then it will be well worth the trouble. This would be a much valued improvement to society as a whole

    • Shane From Melbourne says:

      12:22pm | 23/12/12

      Thanks for reminding me- gotta stock up upon Nerf guns before they get outlawed too. And get my copies of Call of Duty Black Ops 2 and Grand Theft Auto V too.

      Reply

    • Less Guns is Good says:

      12:35pm | 23/12/12

      Why not? It’s not compulsory to take the guns away from children, she’s offering a way to get them to trade their guns for something else. I personally dislike firearms unless you have a good use for them, like a farmer or law enforcement etc. Violence should not become commonplace and acceptable.

      Reply

    • marley says:

      12:39pm | 23/12/12

      When I was a kid, my proudest possessions were my cap-pistol and my cowboy hat.  We played Cowboy and Indians in the backyard or over at the schoolyard for hours.  We were outside, getting exercise, having imaginary shoot outs and ambushes, and never once did we confuse our games with reality.  I really don’t see an issue with kids play acting, even if it does mean carrying toy guns (or, if you were the Indian, making yourself a bow and arrow set out of grandpa’s bamboo garden stakes).

      Games like this, pretending to be warriors, is part of the growing up process for most kids.  Kids aren’t going to become sadists or mass murderers because they played with toy weapons.

      PS I went on to learn to shoot real guns when I was about 13.  Target shooting only. I’ve never shot a real live thing, and have never had the slightest impulse to try.  I just think everyone should chill out.

      Reply

    • Timinane says:

      01:42pm | 23/12/12

      Hang on I remember somebody doing something like this once before about 15 years ago, Oh yeah it was John Winston Howard and was called the gun buyback scheme. It was in response to a massacre just a 100km down the road from me and closer to my grandfathers childhood home which overlooked Port Arthur, Tasmania. I guess he was also a bible bashing do gooder.

      Reply

    • Dj says:

      01:54pm | 23/12/12

      People should have the right to defend their homes, family and possessions. Especially when those who are supposed to do so cannot, due to a warped, pro perpetrator judicial system.

      Reply

    • TChong says:

      03:05pm | 23/12/12

      Dj
      A ” pro - perpetrator judicial system.” ?
      Hmmmmmm.
      Can you give one example of “the judicial system ”  being “pro - perpetrator”
      Please. ?

    • Roy says:

      07:51am | 24/12/12

      Tchong.
      Examples are in the news every day!
      I usually goes “the offender had a troubled childhood”, so was allowed to go free, with a community order.
      No thought for the victim who will be scarred and or scared for life.

    • NotSoSimple says:

      01:59pm | 23/12/12

      I disliked guns intensely when my children (all girls) were young and would not have toy guns in the house. I still don’t like them and am uncomfortable around them, however, I do recognise that children will always imitate what they see and hear and will use a stick if necessary (which is actually more dangerous since eyes can be poked). Education in ethics, morality  and respect for life is far more important than what kids play with anyway. Let them play, but explain the realities when appropriate.

      I have also since had the opportunity to know several sport shooters and a hunter of feral animals  who have changed my mind about guns per se, when used correctly by experienced, responsible and careful owners. I still however completely object to guns being kept for so-called self-defence, as has been pointed out, most accidents/suicides/murders  occur with legally owned weapons, both here and in the US.

      Reply

    • Tator says:

      03:28pm | 23/12/12

      As a serving police officer who has been shooting since I was old enough to shoot competitively (12 years old) and having to carry a firearm on my person every working day, I find firearms when treated with respect to be mostly harmless and not scarey at all.  After all, in their unloaded state they are as harmful as a big stick.  It is only when they are not treated with the appropriate respect whilst loaded or in the hands of someone with malicious intent is when they become scarey.  Yes I have been involved in incidents with armed offendersbefore the days of issued ballistic armour and it scared the crap iut of me, but we managed to resolve the without any shots being fired. 
      My wife and i have discussed our son and firearms and having shot competitively in bith airpistol and smallbore disciplines, we have no objections to him learning properly to shoot within a club environments as shooting clubs have zero tolerance for unsafe practices and he will learn the correct way to handle a firearm.

      Reply

    • Paul says:

      03:58pm | 23/12/12

      What this lady is doing is harmless but strikes me as very childish too. What happened to good old fashioned common sense? There’s always these overzealous mothers who won’t let “this” or “that” in their house. Ridiculous rules of thumb that make no difference except to embarrass the kid and make the parents look like wowsers.

      If you’re not confident in your child’s ability play with toy guns without becoming a murderous psychopath, then I don’t think you’ve got any confidence in your own ability as a parent. Either that or the whole thing is just an attention-seeking exercise like breast-feeding a six year old. Competent parenting doesn’t mean overreacting more than everyone else.

      Reply

    • Fed Up says:

      04:48pm | 23/12/12

      I had toy guns when i was a kid…it was great…playing wars…make pretend charging the enemy and getting shot….
      If you lost or broke your gun…no problem…just broke off another branch ...presto…new gun
      I suppose you could stick em in a corner and let em play with dolls…i suppose thats the thing today…

      Reply

    • Nettie says:

      08:14am | 24/12/12

      I had a great time playing cowboys and indians,we made our own bows and arrows with what ever was handy and none of us ended up as serial killers.I had more fun playing games with my older brothers than i did playing with dolls or tea sets.My own children also had many different toys including toy guns,which they never showed a lot of interest in.Buying back toy guns from children could have the opposite affect and make them more interested in them because they will wonder what all the fuss is about.

      Reply

    • Katie says:

      08:24am | 24/12/12

      When my father was a child, he had throwing knives, a switch blade and a BB gun he used to shoot magpies with.

      He’s a doctor now.

      When I was a kid, I had a crossbow and nerf guns, and now I’m also in medicine.

      What’s wrong with kids having toy guns if they’re brought to speed with what the real thing can do? My parents never sat me down to tell me that ‘guns were bad’ but I kind of picked that up… I’m sure children aren’t that much stupider these days.

      I suppose next you’ll want to ban laser tag.

      Reply

    • Josh says:

      09:24am | 24/12/12

      It’s not laser tag, it’s an advanced murder simulator.

    • SKA says:

      11:28am | 24/12/12

      Love it Katie!
      My dad had a bow and arrow, sling shot, blade and I’m often told about the “epic” battles he had with the local bull ant colony involving hand-to-hand combat (apparently he pinched his mother’s needles to use as swords against the ants and then built himself a little cannon to use against the ants too). He became an accountant and is a retiree these days going around Australia on his caravan with my mum and their small fluffy dog (which they’ve been known to push in a pram before because the dog is elderly and struggles with walks).
      My brother and I had cap guns, potato guns, supersoakers and toy swords (we were big on playing pirates). He actually does target shooting these days and used to run safety courses at the local rifle range but is otherwise a mild mannered and highly social consultant. I work in finance marketing.
      Like you, we both recognised at a young age that guns were bad, but we had a lot of fun playing around with them as kids. We both have nerf foam dart guns these days, good fun at the family events…
      That said, I don’t mind what this mother has done. A buy back scheme with the kids is a good idea given she is really against the toys - she didn’t ban the toys, just offered the kids an alternative.
      I do think our society gets a bit too PC sometimes though. If I have kids one day, I’d like to buy them water pistols and have water fights in the backyard because I had a great time doing that as a kid. I think it’s fine for little boys to play with plastic cowboys and Indians, plastic soldiers. By playing, they learn about life and sometimes, it is ok to let kids be innocent of the broader world.

    • Josh says:

      08:45am | 24/12/12

      Firstly Susie, these are not replica guns, they are imitation firearms. A replica is a functioning copy of an existing firearm.

      Secondly, just because you disagree with some soccer mothers does not make you a troll, or even a gun nut, that is an offensive assertion. I do not level abuse at you because you disagree with what I think.

      Thirdly, the march to feminize our boys continues, don’t play competitive sport with winners and losers, someone might get hurt. Don’t play with toys that look like yellow guns, you might end up murdering someone, don’t play violent video games or you may become a sociopath.

      Boys, will be boys. They have played contact sports, and pretend war for thousands of years. All your attempts to change that will either be futile, or stunt normal development and leave you with a child shunned by other normal well rounded children.

      So well done, this year buy your children cotton wool, wrap them in it, because heaven forbid a child does what a child will do.

      By the way your fear of firearms is quite funny, you would rather your child have no idea what to do if they find a firearm, than be safely instructed in how to deal with it (IE leave it alone)

      Merry Christmas.

      Reply

    • Brian says:

      04:42pm | 24/12/12

      A replica weapon is a reasonable facsimile or copy of a weapon, even if it is not capable of discharging a projectile or substance, or a Category A, B or C weapon that has been rendered permanently inoperable or a hand grenade that is inert.

      From http://www.police.qld.gov.au/programs/weaponsLicensing/licenceApplication/weapons/replicas.htm

      So both usages are perfectly valid. The second point you make, she’s talking specifically about those posting abusive comments (And yes, many of them would be, knowing facebook), not those merely disagreeing.

      After that point you do make sense though - there is far, far too much in the way of ‘PC’ these days.

    • Anubis says:

      09:37am | 24/12/12

      What a sad world we live in when the wowsers want to remove the fun from childhood as well

      Reply

    • The King of the North says:

      12:45pm | 24/12/12

      So I’m guessing army men aren’t good toys either? The Avengers well they use violence to achieve their goals so I guess they’re out too. The Star Wars characters shoot each other so they’re definantly out. Hell even buzz lightyear shoots a laser so you can’t have him. I guess that pretty much just leaves Barbies and Tellytubbies.

      Reply
 
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