Not a fan of Eddie McGuire? Throw a shoe at the TV every time you hear Today Show’s Richard Reid? Wonder just who is watching Big Brother for the eighth, no wait, ninth time around?

Hair today… Nine's golden age, when profits and Bert's hairline both looked sustainable

You’re not alone. We all have things we love to hate about Channel Nine, none more so than the list of talent and programs. Excess Baggage anyone?

But the current hot water Channel Nine finds itself in has nothing to do with who hosts the Logies or what Karl Stefanovic does at the after party.

Nine is having a great year of ratings and will still report underlying earnings of about $250 million for the financial year just ended. The problem stems from a whopping debt loaded on to it by current owner CVC Asia Pacific.

As of last night it looks as though Channel Nine might have been given a reprieve with details to be announced later today.

The news has been met with a sigh of relief by TV lovers across Australia who would hate to see the iconic business go belly-up despite how they feel about Richard Wilkins or Tracy Grimshaw.

Why? Because Channel Nine is and always has been a great television station. For all the cringeworthy water-cooler moments it has provided us with over the years, it has also offered Australian families a reason to laugh, smile and cry. 

So, in honour of The One, here’s what we’ll miss if it all falls apart. Feel free to add your own suggestions to the list.

- The cricket: What would we all watch in summer? Plus, what would become of the Channel Nine commentators? Mark Taylor has his Fujitsu ads to fall back on but surely it’s the end of the road for Richie Benaud?

- The Block: It’s been systematically updating Melbourne’s cityscape one townhouse at a time, plus it’s an excellent reminder to all of us why we should NEVER renovate!

- GO!: Because if Channel Nine goes it goes too and we all want more free TV.

- Myer Christmas Carols – It’s cheesey as hell but it warms the hearts of Aussie families on Christmas Eve each year and it just wouldn’t be the same with Mel and Kochie.

- Howzat!: Because no one is done with shows about Kerry Packer.

- Willoughby: The ugly Channel Nine offices put the little Sydney suburb on the map.

- The Voice: Programs like this bring families together on the couch for an hour a day and in an age of Facebook and iPads, any form of quality family time is a gift.

- 60 Minutes: Any further loss of investigative journalism in this country would be a damn shame. Not that they’ve done much of that lately.

- Channel Nine special events: When horrible things happen like the Queensland floods, Bali bombing, Black Saturday fires or the Japan tsunami we look to our local television stations to keep us informed and they don’t disappoint.

- Fatty Vautin and Sam Newman…. just kidding!!!

Comments will close on this post at 8pm

Most commented

52 comments

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    • AFR says:

      12:04pm | 17/10/12

      The sooner this gutter trash is gone, the better.

    • Tony of Poorakistan says:

      06:01pm | 17/10/12

      Agreed. I haven’t watched Nine since they lost the footy.

    • Steve says:

      12:10pm | 17/10/12

      I would not miss it at all.  Not one little bit.

    • JoniM says:

      01:44pm | 17/10/12

      When your alternate Free to Air Commercial Channel options are those serving up the awful dross of 7 & 10, then yes, many people would miss 9 tremendously ! Especially those followers of real sport like NRL and Cricket !
      Fortunately for me, I bit the bullet and took on a pay TV subscription, and I can now avoid most commercial TV and get a far greater range of programmes especially in relation to Sport, World Movies and some decent current affairs offerings.

    • Rose says:

      02:56pm | 17/10/12

      I can’t believe people still pay for TV. Why on earth would you pay for PayTV and the internet? There’s pretty much nothing I can’t watch online, whenever I want it, so I really can’t see the point in paying for two services when one is sufficient.

    • lower_case_andrew says:

      12:11pm | 17/10/12

      “We’d all miss Channel Nine much more than we think”

      I really would not.

      It occurred to me yesterday that I don’t watch TV any more, except for the footy on Seven.

      I don’t even watch the cricket—I listen to it on the radio—because I cannot stand the Nine commentary team, the ads, and the station promos.

      I can’t remember the last time I watched an actual TV show on Nine.  I get all my news and weather online, and I buy/rent/stream TV shows and movies.

      The other stations aren’t a lot better. (Though I admit I’d miss the footy.)

      So, goodbye Nine. I really do not care. Dinosaurs go extinct, it’s the way of things.

    • tez says:

      12:12pm | 17/10/12

      Dont think so Melissa

    • inb4 says:

      12:12pm | 17/10/12

      Only thing on your list I’d miss is the cricket - but no reason that can’t be handled by Telstra/Foxtel

    • ibast says:

      12:13pm | 17/10/12

      sorry your list still doesn’t convince me.  The cricket will move to another channel.  I might miss Go, but everything else is just another item in list list of things that shit me about Nine.

      Does anybody really believe 60 minutes has any credibility in Investigative Journalism anymore?  It’s just an hour long ACA.

      An special events and carols is when the shoe throwing really starts.

    • subotic is a Leo, wanker says:

      12:18pm | 17/10/12

      Stopped watching Channel 9 when the Paul Hogan show finished in the late 70’s.

    • jaki says:

      12:19pm | 17/10/12

      I don’t watch any telly at all so…meh.

    • Admiral Ackbar says:

      12:32pm | 17/10/12

      My first reaction was ‘do people still even watch commercial tv?’

      This is a surprise to me, because my favourite channel is the internet, which has all the shows ever, for free.

    • Markus says:

      12:28pm | 17/10/12

      I would miss Underbelly (if they produce more seasons). That’s it.

      The rest is awful.

    • nihonin says:

      12:28pm | 17/10/12

      Neeeiiiiiiinnnnn, what would life be with out Channel 9.

    • PJ says:

      12:29pm | 17/10/12

      I like sitting in Sapporos Cafe watching a myriad of Orange coloured girls in cocktail dresses, tottering in and out of Channel 9 in their 2 metre high heels.

      Really funny. I’ll miss that for sure!

    • HappyG says:

      12:33pm | 17/10/12

      They lost me for good with the woeful coverage of the Olympics. in fact 9 is the reason I subscribed to pay TV. That and the fact that if I have to hear that registered, practising idiot Ray Warren one more time I may not be responsible for my actions.

    • the cynic says:

      05:13pm | 17/10/12

      Spot on.  Warren would have to be the worst commentator ever. It was fantastic when he was off for the Olympics. I was surprised that village in the UK that was missing their idiot didn’t lay claim to him, could we have been so lucky?  I actually enjoyed watching the NRL with the sound turned up for a few weeks while the clown was over there. It’s now back to the soundless games for me.
      .

    • BozinOz says:

      12:35pm | 17/10/12

      Why would we want Channel 9 gone? 

      You either love them or hate them and those that hate them love telling everyone exactly that!  Isn’t that right AFR & Steve?  What else would you lot have to talk about??

      I’m with you Melissa; cricket would never be the same again!

    • Brizben says:

      12:37pm | 17/10/12

      I like 9. I think they should ramp up their freeview channels and maybe do a channel similar to foxtel like an all movies channel or an all sports channel.

      Just one request: NO MORE SHOPPING CHANNELS!!!!

    • Rose says:

      12:39pm | 17/10/12

      I can’t think of anything I watch on Channel 9, and I think that’s been the case for years. Granted I watch very little TV of any description any more, most of what I watch is online.
      Channel 9 may have an opportunity to change this though. They will get through this crisis I think and can then, on the grounds that things have to change, CHANGE! They could improve programming, get rid of the dead wood celebrities who are taking up space but offering very little (Sonia Kruger, Karl Stefanovic etc) and replace them with interesting people who offer some life and spark to the Channel.
      This could be the opportunity that 9 needs to have a complete overhaul and become a channel worth watching again.

    • Markus says:

      12:40pm | 17/10/12

      The cricket won’t be gone, just moved to a different station. Preferably one with a different commentary team.

      Rugby Union will definitely not miss Channel 9, who have managed to not even air test matches in half the states.

      However it will be interesting to see what this means for the NRL’s $1 Billion TV rights cashcow.

    • goodbye says:

      12:45pm | 17/10/12

      Most of the content of the tabloid stations is undiluted swill.  Wont miss it at all coz i dont watch it.  To think most of the talking heads there get paid more than the Prime Minister!!  For what, “hard-hitting current affairs” Tracey?  Voyeuristic reality shows for the FB generation?  25 minutes of ads every hour?  Breakfast TV inanity and banality?  American situation “comedy”?  Unspeakably lame soap TV?  The Logies perhaps?

    • I hate pies says:

      12:48pm | 17/10/12

      One thing I wont miss is Mark Bloody Nicholas hosting the cricket - surely we can find an Australian to host it, or at least someone who lives here?
      That and Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Men and every other poxy American sitcom they play - particularly Two Broke Girls.

    • Bitten says:

      12:51pm | 17/10/12

      The Voice: Programs like this bring families together on the couch for an hour a day and in an age of Facebook and iPads, any form of quality family time is a gift

      Watching television in physical proximity of your children counts as ‘family time’? Jeeebus, the current generation of parents are useless!

    • Rossco says:

      12:53pm | 17/10/12

      Free to air tv lost me ages ago when it didn’t know how to correctly schedule programs, and made us wait months for a show that had just aired in the US.

    • Jimbo says:

      12:55pm | 17/10/12

      Get rid of it and Stefanovic.  Happy to see them both go.

    • Tim the Toolman says:

      12:57pm | 17/10/12

      No, I really won’t miss it.

    • Needabeernow says:

      12:57pm | 17/10/12

      Well, I would miss it.  I would certainly miss the cricket.  I put it on and mute it, stick on the ABC for commentary and run in from the backyard to check out the good bits.  I would also miss Big Brother.  Yeah, I know, to most people that makes me a bogan, or one step up from a gorilla.  Whatever.  I like it.  Hmmm, would also miss Karl and Lisa in the morning, a bit of meaningless light soup to wake up to.  And yep, would definitely miss more shows about Kerry Packer.  Wouldn’t miss those crappy underbelly shows though.  Or is that another channel?  Dunno.  What I have listed is all I ever watch.

    • Tubesteak says:

      01:09pm | 17/10/12

      The Cricket and GO would be all that I would miss.

      Cricket is obvious. Great to watch. Especially when it is hot outside. Too hot to go outside.

      I find that I watch the smaller offshoot stations more than the major stations. Repeats of Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Men, Family Guy and The Simpsons is mainly what I watch when the Bluray Player or downloaded TV shows aren’t being watched.

    • Justin of Earlwood says:

      01:09pm | 17/10/12

      The NRL & cricket would go to someone else with different commentators, so that’s a win.

      And… no that’s it.

    • Shane From Melbourne says:

      01:18pm | 17/10/12

      It would be okay if they still had Australian content, but all the American trash you can watch on the internet anyway. The Curiosity Show was good though, that and Grizzly Adams…...

    • Rose says:

      02:59pm | 17/10/12

      Grizzly Adams = American show

    • Trevor says:

      01:23pm | 17/10/12

      I’ll miss the traffic girl in the Today show traffic chopper. Dunno her name but I’ve got a little crush… although only Brisbane people would know who I mean.

      I’m sure Karl or Eddie won’t give a rat’s arse, between them they must have amassed emough money for 100 lifetimes.

    • Sam says:

      01:29pm | 17/10/12

      Out of your list I watch GO! It is rare I have the original channel 9 on.

    • Nikki says:

      01:40pm | 17/10/12

      I won’t miss channel 9 at all. Haven’t watched free TV for years, even when I didn’t have Foxtel I can’t remember a single show I liked on 9. Although Shane from Melbourne just mentioned Grizzly Adams which was popular in our home when I was a kid. Did 9 also show Kung-Fu, Benji and Little House on the Prarie? Maybe they should just air these old gems and cash in on the nostalgia factor.

    • Arnold Layne says:

      01:41pm | 17/10/12

      You know what?  I wouldn’t miss it one bit.  As others have suggested, someone else would snap up the cricket rights and do a far better job with the commentary team. 

      I don’t watch NRL on Nine but if I did, I’d be happy if they went because the new rights holder would be more likely to move into the 21st century and show matches live.  I don’t watch Gem or Go! either so it’s really hard to see how my life would be affected in any way but better.

      Nine are arrogant, hypocritical, patronising and an insult to the intelligence of most viewers.  Their news isn’t news, their current affairs programs aren’t current affairs, they run shows late, out of order, on delay or not at all.  They broadcast to the masses while peering down their noses at them with thinly disguised disgust at the same time.

      Their demise would be celebrated.

    • Fed Up says:

      01:47pm | 17/10/12

      Hardly…i only watch cable….Paul Murray Live…Q & A….QT…Walking Dead

    • JamesH says:

      01:47pm | 17/10/12

      As long as we don’t lose the fast-tracked episodes of The Big Bang Theory I don’t care what hapens to 9.  They overextended themselves in this ridiculous pee contest with Channel 7 and are paying the price for their arrogance and refusing to acknowledge that times and tastes change.  They skipped a couple of new episodes of Big Bang Theory last year and also edited some to suit themselves, and if you complain they just threaten to stop showing it altogether (as if they ever would).  They are also way too quick to defend the idiotic Footy Shows even though they are both past their shelf-life (The NRL’s version lost me when they got rid of Mahatma Cote).  9 needs to be thoroughly gutted and relaunched, get rid of the old fossils on Today and replace them with a younger team to show up Sunrise, split the NRL coverage between free-to-air networks to ensure freedom from bias and comprehensive national coverage (and facilitate expansion to 18 or 20 clubs) and invest in what the viewer wants to see, not what you want to shove down our throats.

    • Nanny says:

      01:55pm | 17/10/12

      I’ll miss Winky Dink and Humphrey B Bear

    • max fact says:

      03:26pm | 17/10/12

      and patsy biscoe

    • iansand says:

      02:24pm | 17/10/12

      What makes you think Channel 9 is going anywhere?  The receivers will sell the business and the licence.  There will not be a millisecond when the channel is off air.

    • Redeker Plan says:

      02:25pm | 17/10/12

      NEIN! Speak for yourself, for I wouldn’t miss a single damn thing about it. I gave up on Nine way back in the dark ages before downloading; Nine The West Wing and delayed (from memory) for about 18 months between one season where the cliffhanger was that the President’s daughter was kidnapped, and the next season. That was it, I turned them off in disgust and never went back. 

      I used to occasionally still catch A Current Affair for the pure Frontline-inspired hilarity, but I can watch The Chaser to see the best bits have the shit hung on them.  Channel Nine USED to be a great news channel back in the day.  But that day was about 20 years ago, when Brian Naylor, Jana Wendt and the original 60 minutes team were around.  NONE of the commercial channels are worth spit when it comes to news and hard current-affairs anymore.

      As for “reality” TV and competitions like The Voice, and “breakfast TV” pass the vom-bucket if you please; I would prefer instead to staple my flaps to the head of a rabid macaque.

    • Redeker Plan says:

      02:27pm | 17/10/12

      NEIN! Speak for yourself, for I wouldn’t miss a single damn thing about it. I gave up on Nine way back in the dark ages before downloading; Nine The West Wing and delayed (from memory) for about 18 months between one season where the cliffhanger was that the President’s daughter was kidnapped, and the next season. That was it, I turned them off in disgust and never went back. 

      I used to occasionally still catch A Current Affair for the pure Frontline-inspired hilarity, but I can watch The Chaser to see the best bits have the shit hung on them.  Channel Nine USED to be a great news channel back in the day.  But that day was about 20 years ago, when Brian Naylor, Jana Wendt and the original 60 minutes team were around.  NONE of the commercial channels are worth spit when it comes to news and hard current-affairs anymore.

      As for “reality” TV and competitions like The Voice, and “breakfast TV” pass the vom-bucket if you please; I would prefer instead to staple my flaps to the head of a rabid macaque.

    • Ms Woo says:

      02:52pm | 17/10/12

      “Any further loss of investigative journalism in this country would be a damn shame. “
      How can you say this sentence in realtion to 60 Minutes…..wash your mouth out!!
      Miss Ch 9 ? - I THNK not !

    • Sue Peggy says:

      03:04pm | 17/10/12

      I would really miss Tony Abbott’s soft interviews on Friday mornings: NOT !

    • gnome says:

      03:33pm | 17/10/12

      I agree Channel Nine is uniformly awful, but if it wasn’t there the others would try just a little less for viewers and deteriorate even more.

      Still, it would be nice to see a network lose its licence for sheer awfulness, and just at the moment, Nine would be the one to go.

    • Justme says:

      03:39pm | 17/10/12

      Haven’t watched 9 in living memory. Wouldn’t even notice if it went off altogether quite frankly. It’s pretty much Foxtel or downloads at our place. ABC for Dr Who and that’s it for free to air.

    • SLF says:

      03:55pm | 17/10/12

      Sooner the better that Channel 9 go.

      Sick to death of them treating sports fans with contempt, delaying games, showing the news in the middle of a session of play, subjecting us to Gus Gould, stopping other rights holders showing the games live even when CH9 are not. The list goes on…..

      If channel 9 went bust tomorrow, i’d be delighted. A professional broadcaster could take over and do a far, far, far better job.

    • SAm says:

      05:46pm | 17/10/12

      wouldnt miss a thing. Internet got me covered. 9 (or any local network) cant make a half decent tv series anyway so no loss there.

    • stephen says:

      05:49pm | 17/10/12

      This network has been very conservative in that it copied the US networks too much, and it did not commission interesting programs when the government media authority dictated local content parameters.

      Too many game shows, and 9 relied too much on 60 Minutes for serious news and current affairs.

      But I’ll still miss her if she goes.
      9 is like every pop song created : we can recognize a program and it will tell us about ourselves when we remember what we were doing when it first programmed ...  same with old songs on the radio.
      These things take us back, but I am sorry that those in charge and who should have known better should have realized that memories are essentially a conservative hangar, and are inimical to real culture ; TV has lost a real chance to encourage social change by showing us innovative programs that can make us wonder and think, as we do when we read.

    • byebye9 says:

      06:07pm | 17/10/12

      Hurry up and begone from our lives already. Crap station, has been for years, and as others have mentioned, the broadcast rights would go to someone that might actually show some intelligence.
      I only watch (hopefully watched) 9 for the NRL, and once that is over, i remove them from my remote, so that i dont have to accidentally watch anything on it at all.
      Good riddance.

 

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