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Washington reacts to news of the Thomson saga

The Punch Team

by The Punch Team

22 May 02:15pm

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Filed under: Barack Obama, Julia Gillard, Politics, Satire

34 comments

Gillard: Barack, you are not going to believe what’s going on down under in the 51st state. See, we’ve got this little sleazebag called Craig Thomson…
Obama: Tell me more…

You simply MUST see my impressive flag collection

Gillard: OK, so he’s been in a bit of hot water lately over his credit card and a bunch of hookers and the rest of it.
Obama: Sure, I’ve heard of him. And from what I understand, your party actually nominated the guy for election after these allegations came out, right?

Personally I would've throttled the guy

Gillard: Um, yes (laughs nervously). Can you believe the NSW Labor Party? They’re trying to destroy me at the moment.
Obama: Sounds like they’re doing a good job of destroying themselves…

It was tempting, yep

Gillard: Anyway, so yesterday Thomson gave an hour long speech to Parliament in which he tried to blame everyone but himself. He even turned on the waterworks and repeated his line that someone spoofed his phone.
Obama: I’m sorry, did you just say spoofed?

Seriously, I haven't heard that word since my summer of love with Genevieve Cook. Hey you wouldn't have her number, would you?

Gillard: I did. It means when someone makes calls that appear to be from your phone. Anyway, the best bit of Thomson’s speech was when he demanded that the brothel release the CCTV footage.
Obama: Oh, that’s the best one I’ve heard since Trump demanded Hawaii release my birth certificate. Hey, you wouldn’t have a video of the speech, would you?

Just an observation on The Punch's part, but who laughs with their arms folded?

Later, in the situation room…

Hillary reacts to Thomson's sob story about media intrusion

Most commented

34 comments

Show oldest | newest first

    • adam says:

      02:27pm | 22/05/12

      soooo

      the gent with the blue suit and medals, was he the one moderating your live blog yesterday? He seems under a degree of pressure.

      Obama was laughing with his arms folded, trying to keep his sides from splitting. Julia was outlining her re-election strategy

      Reply

    • Brian Taylor says:

      02:27pm | 22/05/12

      will pay that one , more please lol

      Reply

    • Shane says:

      02:29pm | 22/05/12

      Oh come on, you could have photoshopped Gillard into the situation room photo.

      Reply

    • mcben47 says:

      02:40pm | 22/05/12

      Better still get that situation room re-assembled and take her out!

    • adam says:

      02:49pm | 22/05/12

      carrying the tea?

    • RyaN says:

      02:33pm | 22/05/12

      The last comment unheard was:

      Obama: Now Julia, next time your Labor men are out and about with stiffies (god knows I have them) and spending public money on Bunga Bunga parties, blame it all on the secret service staff get them to take the fall for your Labor guys and give them some nice severance packages. Problem solved.
      http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/the-secret-service-sex-scandal-thats-801417

      Reply

    • john says:

      02:42pm | 22/05/12

      I love Hillary’s shock but wait and see the look on her face when she finds out if this is Kathy Jackson’s favourite song?

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-wGMlSuX_c&feature=relmfu

      Is Thomson really the victim of her consumption thanks to the lowest paid HSU members in Australia, who are the real victims?

      Reply

    • Rickster says:

      02:53pm | 22/05/12

      I hear that the CIA are trying to find Tommo’s hookers and Slipery Petes cab charge tickets.

      Reply

    • Chris L says:

      02:55pm | 22/05/12

      It looked like the people in the situation room were watching the wrong footage from the brothel.

      Reply

    • subotic M. Johnson says:

      02:55pm | 22/05/12

      The dude behind H. Clinton looks like George Clooney with a terminal sexually transmitted disease…..

      Reply

    • PJ says:

      03:00pm | 22/05/12

      Looking at the pictures she’s besotted with him. I’m so embarrassed for her. What sort of deal is she going to broker with the US for Australia?

      I think she thinks I will be impressed because she’s being pictured with an iconic African American. Not at all, desperately worried is my overwhelming emotion when I she her hanging off him. I keep expecting to see Michele launch in fists flying.

      God knows what she conceded to get on the pulpit in congress during her last visit to the US. I suspect that was when the US Marine Base was suggested for Darwin along with a Drone Attack Centre on Australian soil.

      Lets hope this series of pictures only costs us the $300 million dollars to Afghanistan. Very generous Julia, that’s $10 million for every Afghan citizen. I am sure they’ll love us to bits after that.

      Reply

    • Chris L says:

      04:22pm | 22/05/12

      I suspect she doesn’t know who you are, PJ, let alone expect Obama to impress you.

    • Jinx says:

      05:09pm | 22/05/12

      Chris L - I think PJ means I as in the voting public - Gillard probably expects the voting public to be impressed.

    • Shane From Melbourne says:

      06:16pm | 22/05/12

      As opposed to John Howard’s kiss ass of George W Bush which involved Australia in a rotten free trade deal with the U.S, the shoddy Joint Strike Fighter project and two major wars costing us about 10 Billion dollars? 300 million dollars is cheap to get us out of the mess called Afghanistan…....

    • Mattb says:

      08:02pm | 22/05/12

      that was pretty pathetic wasnt it shane, i cant believe anyone would kiss the arse of possibly the dumbest, most hated american pres in history. almost as embarrassing as his attempt at bowling a cricket ball!....

    • PJ says:

      08:37pm | 22/05/12

      She doesn’t know who I am? You’re kidding!?  Queue mass disolutionment

    • Rhino says:

      08:55pm | 22/05/12

      Based on PJs maths, Afghanistan has a population of 30 people. If that’s the case it seems like the never-ending war has been a lot of fuss over very little!

    • renold says:

      03:31pm | 22/05/12

      And then Gillard went on with:

      ohhhh barrack , can you show me the room where Bill and Monica did it?

      Reply

    • Joan says:

      03:59pm | 22/05/12

      Body language Obama arms crossed usually means- “I don’t agree with what you are saying, or I don’t like this situation” and laughing at same time - means `what a load of crock - Is this woman for real???

      Reply

    • QE12 says:

      05:50pm | 22/05/12

      She has no dignity and there is no need for her to embarrass us by sucking up to Obama. In this picture Obama’s body language translates to artificial friendliness. He looks like it’s an effort to make her approaches appear welcome.

      She’s making a complete fool of us.

      Under all the circumstances, if we could be permitted an election (something the independents will do anything to avoid so they aren’t thrown out sooner rather than later) we could exercise our rights to bring this terrible debacle of a government and its unreal PM to its inevitable close.

    • Nicey says:

      04:04pm | 22/05/12

      Good photo,it shows her best side,and as usual the bloke she is with is a dill

      Reply

    • pa_kelvin says:

      04:08pm | 22/05/12

      where`s where`s wally in the situation room pic?

      Reply

    • clear and vivid says:

      05:33pm | 22/05/12

      Craig Thomson cannot shame democracy and capitalism !
      Nothing ever shames democracy and capitalism.
      Look at Greece.
      Greece invented democracy and the Olympic Games !
      Greece has used its economic abilities and economic credentials to reshape its democracy !

      Reply

    • nike tn says:

      06:32pm | 22/05/12

      Craig Thomson cannot shame democracy and capitalism !
      Nothing ever shames democracy and capitalism.
      Look at Greece.
      Greece invented democracy and the http://www.enfantshopfr.com Olympic Games !
      Greece has used its economic abilities and economic credentials to reshape its democracy !

      Reply

    • Daniel says:

      07:12pm | 22/05/12

      Good to see finally that the News Ltd media is acknowledging that Australia is the USA lapdog.

      Reply

    • Tony says:

      08:27pm | 22/05/12

      The 51st State??  Yeah we hate the Great Satan America. The sooner we align ourselves both Politically, Socially and Economically to a truly democratic nation with personal freedoms and the same values as us the better.  We should be looking to Russia and China. YES HEAPS OF SARCASM there.  Australia has friends one of them is America. Do you suggest we have no friends? Or are we only allowed to have ones with very questionable political systems and massive human rights abuses?  The 51st state?  What a childish thing to say.

      Reply

    • AnthonyG says:

      08:39pm | 22/05/12

      Whats the bet that he steralized his hand as soon as he could

      Reply

    • thatmosis says:

      08:44pm | 22/05/12

      My god what a cringworthy display by an Australian PM. She has made us all look ridiculous when its only her and her schoolgirl crush that is ridiculous. What a sad person she really is and i would pity her except she is taking Australia with her.

      Reply

    • Mattb says:

      09:32pm | 22/05/12

      say what you like about obama, agree or dissagree with his policies and personally i know FA about most of them, but you have to admitt he comes across as a genuinely good bloke. nothing like his predecessors of the past 30 years…

      Reply

    • Peter#1 says:

      04:14am | 23/05/12

      Congratulations to the Punch team. Two failed experiments in one photo.
      Obama, the first African American to be elected as President, to show the world how the U.S. had become more tolerant and Gillard, the first female Prime Minister, who obtained the title by deception.
      One or possibly both could be gone by the end of the year.
      I am starting to feel sorry for Craig Thomson. The poor bastard would probably have resigned and copped it sweet, but has been made to stay on to keep this dysfunctional concoction of a government from falling. And now, with every word he utters, every denial, he is digging a deeper hole for himself to crawl out of.

      Reply

    • Borderer says:

      12:22pm | 23/05/12

      Ironically enough I actually agree, they probably threatened to pull his legal funding and kick him out of the party. This would cost him his job and his house not a nice prospect to face.

    • Terence says:

      09:09am | 23/05/12

      Yes I think we should have an agreement here with the US that Australia is actually the 51st US state in drag.

      Reply

    • Gregg says:

      11:58am | 23/05/12

      So funnily good Punchers
      Look, just in case he misses it, can you make sure you email it to Acotrel and Chongy as well and have them pass it on to Tony.

      I heard there were a lot of funny sounds coming from the LNP party room this morning, so maybe whatshisname with the Poodle hairdo had it already to gee the mob up.

      Ah!, classical and even without Joe.

      Reply

    • Gregg says:

      01:56pm | 23/05/12

      I wonder whether Julia might have been suggesting some Yorkshire ferreting might be in order or perhaps Barack was asking her if she had considered that approach.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ferret_legging

      Reply
 
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