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The grim daily reality for women in India

Tennille Duffy

by Tennille Duffy

04 Aug 05:50am

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Filed under: Feminism, India, Men And Women, Sexism, Society, Weekend Punch, Women

53 comments

It has been widely reported over the last few months that India is one of the worst places in the world to be a woman. The issue of the status and treatment of women has been raked over in countless global reports, newspaper articles and blog posts.

Bollywood's glamour hides a different reality for women…

But what is all this international attention on the plight of women in India about? Didn’t India have a female Prime Minister decades before Julia Gillard? Isn’t it a secular, peaceful democracy – not a war zone, or a nation that actually legislates against women’s rights?

Nevertheless, the lives of Indian women remain dangerous at worst, and troubled at least, in ways that deserve attention. Recently, the issue of women’s safety has flared up again –this time in response to the public molestation of a woman in the North-Eastern state of Assam. The incident has left many questioning ‘why is this still happening?’ ‘How has this happened again?’

Well, actually, it happens countless times every day, every hour, every minute across this country. But it’s still being splashed across the television screens, the newspapers and magazines, and the Internet. The pundits are out in force and certain leaders are regurgitating the same inane comments. Again.

Like waves crashing on the shore, the sexual mistreatment and debasement of women in India never ends. And each time it makes the news, it makes it seem even more endless.

I know that this happens the world over. I am well aware that, even in Australia, women are raped and beaten every day. And that the men who do it are all too rarely brought to account. (I also know that violence occurs in same-sex relationships, and by women against men, but for the moment I’m talking about the overwhelming phenomena of male violence against women.)

However, having lived here for over two years now, I know it is different in India. It seems to me that what makes it different here is the public nature of the attacks on women, the response to these incidents, and most importantly, what that means for all of us walking around this country with vaginas between our legs.

It is hard for a visitor like me, relatively rich and raised in the West, to imagine being sold off as a child bride. It is hard for me to imagine needing to get married to ensure my future. It is hard for me to imagine many of the daily realities of women and girls’ lives that really do make India one of the worst places to even BE as a female.

But the kind of violence that is the subject of only the most recent controversy is something I can, and do, imagine. Almost daily.

The recent incident that I am referring to was when a woman was assaulted - stripped and mauled and groped by a group of men seems to be the sum of the many reports - after leaving a pub on one of the main streets of her city, Guwahati.

Despite the fact that the incident was filmed by a member of the local news media, the exact details of what happened are still not clear - but the outline is enough. Her ‘crime’? Drinking. In a pub. With men there. Perhaps dancing. Being out late at night (it was about 9.30pm when this happened). She was out with her friends.

As far as my experience demonstrates, moral policing against women in India is out of control. Not only that, but the age-old method of using sexual violence to control women who even threaten to stray outside of the bounds of convention is rampant.

It’s also a completely, infuriating nonsense that absolutely enrages me beyond what words can describe. Because don’t think for one single minute that this violence will stop the moment all women in this country start following the suggestions or orders that are made – by both men and women in power - to start wearing traditional dress, cover their heads, leave their jobs, and be indoors by 8pm, to care for their brothers, fathers or husbands.

Of course it bloody well won’t - let’s not even touch on the myriad forms of violence and oppression exercised upon women and girls in their own homes.

You can find statistics elsewhere, but let me tell you this - the reality is that this behaviour is working. My female friends, colleagues, and I all agree - it controls pretty much every single female in this country that we love, every single day.

I think carefully about what I wear every day, and often cover my shoulders and chest with a shawl, only to be comfortable wearing my outfit once I am with my friends or inside my office, a club, bar or restaurant. I do not leave my house alone after 9.30pm, and definitely not after 10pm. I am afraid when I come home, alone, after dinner or a night out.

I do not make eye-contact with men I pass in public. I am terrified that, as I let myself into my apartment building, the caretaker or his friends will be there, still awake, and drinking, and ready to comment on my late arrival home or my attire, or worse. It makes me mistrust and inwardly question every man that I encounter, which is an awful thing for both of us, and by extension, terrible for the whole of this society.

Because, of course, there are many wonderful men in India who would never treat a woman badly. I am friends with these kinds of men and I work with these kinds of men.

I, of course, encounter considerate men, like drivers who wait with their lights on to make sure I get to my front door safely. The fact that never goes away, though, is that women are very much second-class citizens here.

Even well-off, young and educated women are held to a different standard, still having to justify why they work after marriage or why they are dating someone they may or may not intend on marrying. Women are so often seen as infantilised possessions of men, incapable of making their own decisions, going out by themselves, seeking their own fun, challenges or satisfaction.

Like I said, I can’t imagine many things, but I imagine the kind of thing that happened in Guwahati happening to me almost every day. Because I have had my breast grabbed by a rickshaw driver at 9am in the morning. I have had men suggest that I come to their houses to give them a massage and have sex with them.

I have had my breast groped by a school-boy whilst I was sitting at traffic lights at 5pm in the afternoon. I have had a man put his hand up my skirt and grab right between my legs whilst walking past market stalls on a main street in the middle of the day.

I have had a man masturbate at me whilst standing next to me at the counter at a beer and wine shop. Almost daily, men make ‘kissing’ noises at me as they pass on their bikes, yell obscenities from cars and buses, and stare at me in a way that makes me feel violated without even being touched.This happens to every single female I know and meet.

I know that what has happened to me is only the tip of the iceberg for women in India. And I know that I might be only one karaoke night, or late dinner out, away from far, far worse.

If I am often vigilant, and sometimes scared or terrified, I can only imagine how other women feel. As we see these horrifying incidents reported, I know that many of us feel as if we are just being smashed back down into our ‘proper’ place. As we hear police, and even female leaders, tell us to stay inside or to dress appropriately, again, we know they are trying to put us our place.

At the moment it seems that it will never end. But if the young women that I know in India are any indication, it will one day. They are amazing, first-class citizens of their nation – and the world –and I see them pushing and fighting against this in the way they live their lives every day.

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53 comments

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    • Dr B S Goh, Australian in Asia says:

      06:49am | 04/08/12

      Australia is a small country peoplewise. Each FOUR months the increase in World population is greater than the TOTAL population of Australia.

      We should worrying too much much about the many second order and politically correct issues like woman rights in India, under the Taliban and many other countries.

      We should focus on the first order issue the continued population growth in many of these countries which is the main source of their social problems.

      As an old environmental warrior for more than 40 years I cannot understand why the Green Party of Australia is not concerned about the Mother of all Environmental Problems the continued global population growth. My guess is that the one child policy proven by China for population growth in a DEVELOPING country is not acceptable to the Greens in Australia.

      One consequence of population in India i:  More than 80,000,000 Indians live on less than 75 cents a day.

      Reply

    • Gregg says:

      07:48am | 04/08/12

      Perhaps Doc you could work on the Greens to take all their members to India for permanent relocation and working on birth control.
      That would be a win win for both Australia and India.

      They could even get into intercepting asylum seekers and running refugee camps as a bonus.

    • P. Wlaker says:

      09:11am | 04/08/12

      Climate Change is the greatest moral challenge for the world.  Bullshit!  You are dead right Doc, and here we go importing the proliferate breeders of the world to continue the pattern of self destruction.

    • Madmeg says:

      10:47am | 04/08/12

      I agree Dr Goh, I wish there was more attention paid to the problem of world population. We are facing some real problems especially in the face of climate change. I think that once women achieve true equality and the freedom to choose their own path in life the population naturally declines. Most western populations are falling or stable like Australia where we depend on immigration to keep our economy ticking. Forcing a policy on people like the one child policy is extreme and inhumane. Have a look at this National Geographic story on the poor women in the favelas of Brazil. http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2011/09/girl-power/gorney-text
      Finally we have found a use for soap operas!

    • Babylon in Canberra says:

      01:23pm | 04/08/12

      The ideas that immigration is good for the economy or that you need migration to pay pensions of an ageing population have been disproven. The primary function of immigration then is to lower worker wages.

      The economic contribution is now ‘only up to a point’ whereupon it becomes break even, then a cost.

      Reference : migration watch. uk

      It seems odd to me that if man is responsible for climate change and we wish to lower Australia’s carbon footprint, why would we have mass immigration over controlled immigration? Especially as the thinking now is that it’s only cost effective ‘up to a point.’

    • Cry in my Gin says:

      02:13pm | 04/08/12

      I agree Dr Goh. Empower women with choice, education and birth control.
      Pretty soon the rest will look after itself. As it is at the moment these unfortunate women do not see anything wrong with the way they are forced to live as it is all they have known.

    • DOB says:

      07:18pm | 04/08/12

      Goh, your comment is a disgrace. If you want to talk about population control go somewhere where the subject of the article is population control. Do not try to minimise what is a very serious wrong.

    • Dr B S Goh, Australian in Asia says:

      08:56am | 05/08/12

      @ DOB My apologies for upsetting you.

      I was trying to put the important issue that Tennille raise in perspective.

      Asia is generally an unsafe place. Young Australians should never travel alone. I was staggered to meet a young Australian female medical student travelling on her own in the Himalayan mountains.

      My friend a lady Australian English teacher took a debating Team from China to Bangladesh. During the official reception she had her handbag with valuables at her feet. Someone crawled underneath the table and stole it!!

      Our young girls must now be careful of gangs from Nigeria in Asia who befriend them and get them to be mules in the drug trade. They use Asian and white girls in this manner. I pray for an Aussie girl who was recently arrested.

      Recent news from my friends traveling in Italy and Spain are not very good for young Australian girls and boys traveling in these countries. Many of these problems are caused by the boatpeople who went to these countries in the past two years. Because of the increased boatpeople to Australia we are creating a desperate new underclass,
      http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/political-news/underclass-worry-in-migrants-daily-struggle-20120802-23ihl.html

    • Gregg says:

      07:28am | 04/08/12

      It would seem you are getting some insight into the less pleasant aspects of India for women Tenille, the place not only being dangerous and troubled for women but also at times quite deadly, honour killings not unheard of too.

      I suppose it’d be hard to know just how much more prevalent molestations and other crimes would be on a per capita basis and with an ever burgoning population, policing likely becomes increasingly difficult.

      It is not just crimes against women either where there is considerable violence we probably hear not so much of in Australia for though it is just a couple of years ago when was it an Aussie missionary or minister and his son were burnt to death, I can recall readingan article a few years back which was titles something like India’s Wild West or Badlands.
      A quick google brings up a report of six years ago on growing problems - http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2007-03-07/edit-page/27882262_1_maoists-salwa-judum-jharkhand

      So if it is bad enough where you are, also be very aware that there could be some even more dangerous locations.
      It is all very interesting, given the bad press Australia has received re what is probably minimal violence here against Indian students and I’d not expect there is too much that can be done from Australia to change the plight of women in India.

      Reply

    • Babylon in Canberra says:

      08:06am | 04/08/12

      Tennille

      What possible inducements could there be for you to stay there in the light of all that sexual abuse in only two years?

      Who are these men, apart from being Indian are they from any social class or religious persuasion? Is the treatment of women in this way a cultural issue or a misperception issue that requires education? And how much of you’re own personal treatment is down to racism?

      Your article did not touch on the abortion of baby girls in Indian and the preference for a son. In India the number of females ‘missing’ is estimated to be about 35 million over the past 20 years.

      You say India, but I read in a UK article that there is concern because British Indian communities are not producing enough girls as science dictates, which is 950 girls for every 1000 boys. Oxford University estimates 100 indian baby girls ‘disappear’ per year in the UK. There is a book that talks about the amazing lengths that people go to to avoid a female child: Witness the Night by Kishwari Desai.

      Desai points out that life overseas for Indian girls is worse, because men perceive there is more pressure to protect female virginities in a liberal society that has a different ethnicity. She also points out that the ideas from India are perpetuated in the overseas closed communities, because UK Indian girls do not marry uK Indian boys. They marry boys from India as instructed. So the ideas from India are continually reinforced in overseas communities.

      The way western societies set up multicultural societies, where education and legislative programmes promote the ‘boxing up’ of communities under a community leader, means mainstream attitudes find it hard to penetrate and the imported ideas prevail.

      India has had a female Prime Minister, a Prime Minister far better than ours by all accounts. So the country that produced Gandhi, Aishwarya Rai, Shilpa Shetty and Freida Pinto to no avail in the area of discussion, how do you see your activists making a difference?

      Reply

    • Fiddler says:

      08:44am | 04/08/12

      have you considered moving?

      Just you know, throwing it out there. BTW as wrong as I find this behaviour, we are a country of 22 million, they are over 1 billion. We can’t change them, nor is it our job to.

      Reply

    • St. Michael says:

      04:16pm | 04/08/12

      But why not try to change them? After all, we’re in Afghanistan, a country with similarly medieval views on suffrage, and Tory Shepherd seems to think we should be staying engaged in Afghanistan for the express purpose of trying to change the local population’s views on women’s rights: http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/murder-in-the-name-of-god-shows-war-is-not-over/ .

      /sarcasm.

    • nihonin says:

      08:55am | 04/08/12

      It’s in India, not here, lets keep our morals and society out of their business.

      Reply

    • P. Walker says:

      12:49pm | 04/08/12

      nihonin I agree, but then they bring their cultures here and that is a “No No” to debate this in Australia.  We are forced to accept this rot!  I’m waiting for some Jain priests to enter Australia, they are entitled to walk about naked.  Will the PC mob insist that they follow their religion?

    • Cynicised says:

      02:01pm | 04/08/12

      I find the attitude expressed here by some that says “why should we care, it’s not our problem” galling. Smug acceptance of the suffering of others, without even a whisper of empathy puzzles, angers and saddens me. It makes me wonder at the mentality of people who are so self- obsessed, so blind to all except their own concerns that they cannot spare a moment to even try to understand the daily oppression of fellow humans. We are all connected on this planet we inhabit, even if some don’t recognise it - and it’s getting smaller by the minute.

      Ultimately of course it is up to India’s men to change their attitude towards their women, even though it will be a long struggle. Millennia’s worth of prejudice and dehumanising  disregard don’t disappear by an act of will.  Sexual equality is fiercely opposed in tribal/clan- based, highly stratified societies  such as India, with it’s vast divisions between rich and poor. Men fear losing the power to control  the reproductive and financial lives of their women, hence weakening their own perceived  position in society. However, the brave women and men attempting to open the eyes of their fellow country folk need to to know that they are supported internationally by people who wish them well and who understand the dangers they face.
      “Evil flourishes when good men (and women) do nothing”. 

    • Andrew says:

      12:41am | 05/08/12

      cynicised, I have to agree 100%. If this is peoples attitude then why do we oppose anything that happens in other countries, why ban or boycott products from countrys, why opposed sanctions, why object to apartheid or genocide. After all its there country, so who are we to tell them that whites arnt superior to blacks, or that muslim or christians (depending on the country) arnt evil and deserve to die. Who are we to tell them that they cant carry out ethnic cleansing or torture whoever they like, or have slaves or do anything they want to do as long as they keep it to there own country. Who are we to tell them that homosexuals dont deserve to die or that drug dealers shouldnt be shot. The fact that most people in the world are prepared to overlook human rights or atrocities for the fear of upsetting a trading partner or just because they are so far away that it ‘‘supposedly’’ doesnt effect them says a lot about the world today.

    • noni says:

      12:46am | 05/08/12

      so tell me nihonin, why isnt treating everyone with respect the morals of everyone in the world..Surely a civilised world would want every person, wether they be man, woman, straight, gay, black, white or yellow to be treated with respect and dignity.

    • Stephen says:

      09:02am | 04/08/12

      I am Australian. I care about Australian issues. I would take offence if Indians criticised my nation’s cultural traits, no matter how abhorrent they may seem to the outside world.

      Once again, we see feminists trying to maintain the local rage by citing matters that are not our concern or business in other nations.

      Oh, BTW. TL:DR.

      Reply

    • Craig says:

      09:08am | 04/08/12

      And this is the India that got so upset at the treatment of Indian students in Australia…

      Reply

    • ian m says:

      09:33am | 04/08/12

      India is far from being on its pat malone. Two brave women from the Ukraine bared their breasts in London to emphasize how millions of women are treated in the Muslim World. Kept out of school, not allowed to go shopping on their own, not allowed to drive a car, married at 10, forced marriages, honour killings, having to cover their faces in public (something I see on a daily basis on the gold coast). Where are the Australian sisters standing up for the abused and controlled human beings? You never see or hear politicians or community leaders or women of power, or blogs like this women saying anything but weak kneed kowtow to an abusive culture.

      Reply

    • lovanotfyter says:

      12:51pm | 04/08/12

      yes why don’t more ozzie women bare there breasts to protest issues? I would support this!

    • Bho Ghan-Pryde says:

      11:27pm | 05/08/12

      Ian, there are two reasons. The main one is fear - it was one thing to take on daddy in Western societies and quite another to tackle what happens in the Muslim world as those guys will kill you. The second and lesser reason is a fair touch of racism - probably unconscious - but there none the less. Western feminists see women in these countries not as people the same as them but as parts of an interesting cultural experience for them to experience on holiday. The best and most prominent example is Germaine Greer. You will search in vain for any criticism from Greer of what happens in these countries but she can be quick off the mark to write something negative about Steve Irwin when he died. In fact, she tends to excuse the behaviour of Muslim men and that will be because she sees Islam as a cultural experience for her not an opportunity to stand up for the rights of oppressed Muslim women.

    • NESLIHAN KUROSAWA says:

      10:02am | 04/08/12

      Hi Tennille,

      Finally someone gets the real picture and not the glamorized and colourful version of Bollywood India. For a while now we have been bombarded with the news of largest democracy, the new elite and very successful middle class trying to change the overall image of new India. I must say with all honesty that this does not surprise me in the least.  Because we all used to watch those kind of feel good and very romantic type films when I was growing up. And so full of it that I can not bring myself to believe any of that nonsense and sing a song about nothing, really.

      Instead we should have more realistic films about women falling victims to acid throwing and their faces being slashed by gangs of men.  Why am I not surprised at all?  When we consider the fact that about 500-600 million Indians lack the basics such as electricity, fresh water supplies and proper sanitation.  Do you have to wonder how India got to be power house and the largest democracy and finally our role model in Australia, in recent years? 

      There has been such a hard sell that we all should follow in India’s footsteps on the road to true success and happiness.  Well, for me personally I only want to believe the version of my uncle who travelled through India on his way to Singapore and then on to Perth, Australia back in 1972.  He witnessed open sewers with most kids playing and eating in the middle of this human waste, no offence intended.  Has anything really changed for the better in the last 40 years or so?  I only think that the population of India most probably has doubled or tripled? 

      Without enough education, health care services and infrastructure for these 1.2 billion or so people in India, it really does not amount to a great deal, most unfortunately.  When we also consider the fact that almost half the population happen to women as caregivers, nurturers and mothers, India is not a place designed for women living in the West, right?  So enough about believing in the Bollywood version of sing & dance about nothing and coming clean about the suffering of women and children. Lets also talk about real issues such as malnutrition, childhood diseases and poverty?  Kind regards to your editors.

      Reply

    • Queensland Observer says:

      10:12am | 04/08/12

      I think I read a report that one of the largest immigrant groups coming into Australia was from India. I’ve also read reports of Indian taxi drivers here in Australia who have sexually assaulted/raped young female passengers who were vulunerable to attack due to drug-use or drunkenness.

      One wonders if the cultural predisposition to treat women so badly is not abandoned by males when they relocate from India (and other culturally similar countries) to Australia. One wonders if here in Australia, women will one day be forced to alter the way they dress and behave, the hours they keep, and the places they frequent, in order to be safe from these ‘culturally diverse’ men.

      They say ‘when in Rome’ but it’s hard to cling to that bit of reassurance when we know that ‘Rome’ eventually succumbed to the barbarians.

      Reply

    • Lola says:

      01:17pm | 04/08/12

      A fair few of them do seem to bring their sleaze with them - the number of taxi ‘incidents’ experienced by females with subcontinent drivers is not a statistical anomaly. Indian culture has more than its share of vile aspects, giving lie to the moral relativism of claiming every culture is equally worthwhile. Of course Indian culture is not all bad, but a lot of it is, particularly its treatment of women, corruption, incompetence and acceptance of cruel poverty. I also hope we never accept these people’s behaviour and poor standards as somehow something to celebrate in the name of diversity.

    • Louisa says:

      04:51pm | 04/08/12

      This is why I tell my youngest daughter to never catch a taxi from a taxi rank at night in particular and always to call one to pick her up wherever she is. That way there is a record of what taxi and driver picked up the job and the driver knows it.  People don’t always have the presence of mind to take notice of the taxi’s number and in the event of an incident, every bit of evidence helps.

    • George says:

      10:51am | 04/08/12

      And I suppose this is the white man’s fault? Why are you in India then? Why are you supporting the mass immigration of peoples who traditionally oppress women?

      Reply

    • TrueOz says:

      11:00am | 04/08/12

      Tennille,
      I remember well the first time that I visited a third world country, and how appalled I was by what I witnessed there. Fortunately, someone that I was dealing with there pointed out to me that I was perhaps viewing the situation “...through affluent, Western eyes”. She was, of course, 100% correct.

      Fast forward 15 years and I am living in a third world country, the second such country where I have now lived. What I now understand is that it is not up to people like you or me to pass judgement of how the people in our host countries live. Believe it or not, it is actually a choice - and a something that the vast majority would not willingly change. It is their way.

      Like you, I see the situation you describe as appalling. That’s just my opinion - and one that I doubt will be shared by the vast majority of people around you - including the woman. Please, take a look through different eyes.

      Reply

    • Jay says:

      12:54pm | 04/08/12

      So for unacceptable situations you merely lower your expectations and ethical standards when you’re abroad and the BEST thing you can embrace is not to judge?

      Doesn’t judgement inspire the will to make a difference into some terrible situations?
      Should we all just accept child rape? Hideous animal cruelty? Stoning of women? Starvation?
      The way you describe it in your post seems like such people have a choice in how they live, when they in fact do not and are unwilling participants (at best).
      Your post was confusing and contradictory.

    • truedat says:

      01:30pm | 04/08/12

      Hah! I knew one was coming!  a Moral relativist, the worst of all possible useful numpties for those wishing to do evil.

      Lets use your approach to other great injustices: 

      Slavery in the southern states - no, that’s fine, we are just looking at it through 20th century eyes

      Genocide in Rwanda - no, we cannot criticise the local cultural expression of tribalism

      Human sacrifice by the Aztecs - no, it;s a historic and respectful cultural tradition

      Balls to that.  There are certain things that are wrong for human societies, and if you hide behind cutural relitavism, you are in my view facilitating the evil doers.  An anti-female culture is one such thing that should be fought worlwide.

    • TrueOz says:

      11:22pm | 04/08/12

      @Jay & @truedat
      Your moral and intellectual superiority is obvious - just as it was with George W. Bush when he chose to invade Iraq - justified later with the same sort of logic and reason that you have each espoused. I apologize for providing the uninformed view of someone who merely lives and breathes the same air as these people every day, and understands how resistant they are to change. Maybe you should get out of your arm chairs, quit pontificating, and try living amongst it. I feel certain that much of what you think you know now, will quickly seem rather redundant.

    • Jay says:

      02:04pm | 05/08/12

      Your nod to my moral and intellectual superiority is duly noted and accepted. grin

    • TrueOz says:

      04:01pm | 05/08/12

      @Jay
      I would expect no less of you!

    • jade (the other one) says:

      09:16am | 06/08/12

      @TrueOz - so it’s acceptable for women to be raped and murdered, simply because the culture doesn’t want to change?

      Anti-Semitism, for instance has a very long, and very proud history throughout the entirety of Europe. Do we refrain from judging the actions of Germany and Poland and Russia with their pogroms and the Holocaust, because it’s a cultural tradition?

      Gypsies have long been the subject of hatred and discrimination in Europe. Since the culture is so resistant to change, do we simply allow them to continue to be mistreated, abused and discriminated against?

      Should Indians, Muslims, Africans and others who are quite badly treated in the UK and Europe simply shut up about it? After all, it’s part of their culture. Why should Europeans change?

      Your arguments are disgusting and offensive.

    • BLAH says:

      11:33am | 04/08/12

      Sexual assaults by Indian ‘student’ taxi drivers have been far above the average rate of assaults here too - but you don’t hear that in India, you only hear about the few random assaults that happen to THEIR MALE citizens here.

      Reply

    • Tubesteak says:

      11:58am | 04/08/12

      The thing that will change this will be a combination of rising affluence and education. Affluence will bring education which will bring the type of enlightenment that we have in the west. This is the real fight that feminists must be making. Not getting women to be CEOs of Australian companies just because they are women. Simple human rights such as freedom from abuse comes about when societies are more affluent and civilised.

      Reply

    • ronny jonny says:

      04:16pm | 04/08/12

      Affluent like Saudi Arabia? That is an extreme example I’ll grant you but it is an example of affluence not changing culture, quite the reverse actually. If you give a million dollars to a barbarian, he is still a barbarian. The culture has to change first.

    • Tubesteak says:

      06:35pm | 04/08/12

      Royalty i9n Saudi Arabia are affluent.  The rest of the people are only well off if the royal family decides to splash some money around.

    • Dan Webster says:

      12:09pm | 04/08/12

      India finds it hard to fault it’s own ways. They would much rather label all Australians as racists.

      Reply

    • Kiddo says:

      12:21pm | 04/08/12

      Tenille

      I am sorry to hear of your experiences in India and also of the girl who was assaulted in Guwahati.

      My experience of my time growing up in India is different. I dont know which city you live in but I grew up and lived in Bombay. I experienced some of the sexual harrasment i.e. catcalls, groping attempts etc when I was a young girl - around 13-14 years old. As I grew “older”, it stopped. I put it down to being in the city I am where the women i.e. the grown up ones don’t put up with the crap the men dish out. The sleazy men generally target young girls as they know they dont have the confidence then to react and defend themslves, but they stay away generally from harrasing older ones. I have seen crowds of people come to the rescue of a woman who was harrased and who confronted her attacker. This is my experience of living in Bombay.
      I have never been questioned about work or wanting to work after marriage. If you live in Bombay it is mostly expected that a working gal will work after marraige too. Bombay is an expensive city!

      Delhi and the northern belt is completely different in my experience, The men there are the most chauvanistic among all indian men. You probably get more catcalls than most because you are “foreign” and the average indian man sees “white” women as easy.

      I am not going to pretend that all of india is like Bombay - but not all indian women live in fear and have thier choices questioned. It may be a small percentage of indian women but your article paints such a grim picture for indian women that I felt I had to respond with my experience too. I can say the same for my extended family and my school\college friends who work, drive, go out at night etc. No, they are not rich and privileged. Just educated and hard working.

      As an australian citizen now it concerns me that a large number of indian men coming to study and work in australia are from north india. These men definately bring thier outdated attitudes towards women here. I dont know what I can do about it though.

      Reply

    • JTZ says:

      05:17pm | 04/08/12

      @kiddo wow can I just give you a clap. Thanks or bringing the great arguement between North and South India to Australia. You say you are a proud citizen but yet you choose to engage in this type of crap. I read and follow a large amount of Indian news and sorry to say this but the amount of attacks and molestation of women is equal between both Delhi and Mumbai (Bombay). You seem to forget North India and mainly Punjab is known for having some of the toughest and most straight forward women in all of India. You do realise North India is the birth place of the religion which gave women equal rights as men. The first and long before western society thought of it. The religion was also the first to allow women to fight along side men in war and battles.

      I will agree that things have to change in India and women have to be seen as equals. Alot of work must be done for this to occurr and yes the attitude of many men from both North and South must change. The culture and tradtions must be changed by the govt and society. Things like dowry must be banned and also female feticide must be outlawed.

      It is funny how it requries a western women to get alot of people thinking about the issue. Sadly many people will not realise that the govt also has alot to account for. After both the 1984 anti-sikh riots and 2002 anti-muslim riots the police with the backing of the goverment started a programme of false enounters. The killing of innocent Sikh and Muslim men and classing them as terrorist and the systematic rape of muslim and sikh women to breed them out. These issues have existed as far back as the time after partation.

      Another point is just look at the attitude of Aussie men to women. No matter what religion or cultural background the sexism that exsists in Australia is disgusting. Just look at (and yes I have defended the defence force before) the cases of rape and assualt on women in our own armed services and the attitude of defence force personell to this. The resent scandals at University of Western Australia where it was revealed young women were subjected to been asked to undress and other get drunk.

      Yes Indian society is aweful and the treatment of women is digusting but lets sought our own house out before asking others too.

    • Daz says:

      01:00pm | 04/08/12

      If you take a plant and plant it in another garden, it doesn’t change. It’s still the same. So much for multi-culturalism. I suspect the people so much in favour just want new restaurants to dine in. They are not the ones who have to live next to their introduced species.

      Reply

    • ronny jonny says:

      03:13pm | 04/08/12

      A common saying in India with regard to an upitty woman is, ” That woman needs a bit of kerosene on her sari “. Pretty nasty.

      Reply

    • Bitten says:

      04:13pm | 04/08/12

      I thought Indian nationals were all of the highest moral virtue and Australians were dumb, drunk and racist?

      Reply

    • Ocker says:

      02:25am | 05/08/12

      I think you will find that the majority of comments on this page definitely support the “racist” image of australians. the cronulla riots, the indian bashing and the generally appalling state of the aboriginal people doesnt help our image either.

      Any number of metrics comparing the performance of australian students against their intenational peers will also support the “dumb australian ” stereotype.

      As for being drunk, we consume the highest amount of alchohol per capita in the world.

      So i applaud you for painting a very accurate picture about this great nation of ours.

    • Bitten says:

      02:21pm | 08/08/12

      “So i applaud you for painting a very accurate picture about this great nation of ours.”

      That’s curious Ocker. My comment didn’t paint any picture at all. It is you who have made mention of Australian alcohol assumption and Cronulla riots and ‘indian bashing’. Are you congratulating yourself?

      Btw, you refer to this great country of ‘ours’. I hope that is a figure of speech and not an assumption on your part that you and I share a nation of citizenship. Assumptions make you look tremendously stupid.

    • The Free says:

      04:18pm | 04/08/12

      India is also one of the worst places in the world to be born a man.

      Reply

    • AdamC says:

      10:29pm | 04/08/12

      It sounds like you have had some quite atrocious experiences in India.

      I actually admire aspects of Indian culture. It is quite remarkable how Indians in Australia have managed to retain their traditional family values even in the glare of western hedonism and licentiousness.

      On the other hand, they have also retained a degree of sexism. Unlike whingeing western women, Indian women often genuinely do find themselves working the double shift of professional and domestic responsibilities. We are fortunate in this country that the excesses, like dowries and forced marriage, which are relatively common in the UK, have not travelled here.

      As for India itself, it is not for Australia to change it. And I would argue that the powers that be in Hindustan should try to keep the lights on before attempting to catalyse a sexual revolution.

      Reply

    • chuck says:

      09:03am | 05/08/12

      When I was in India it was very common to see Western girls being groped in trains/buses and in crowded places. There was also common reports of Sati ie involuntary a burning of women if their hubby dies and horrible disfigurement when the hubbies family including mother in law decides that she is surplus to requirements or some dubious honour revenge thing.

      One should also give some thought to the murder/rape/false imprisonment/slavery of Thais, Phillipino and Indonesian women in enlightened Islamic states like Saudi, Bahrain, Oman !!

      Reply

    • Waz says:

      09:29pm | 05/08/12

      If ever there was nation that needs population control it’s India, they can’t even keep the power on.

      Reply

    • Waz says:

      09:32pm | 05/08/12

      What these countries fail to admit is if there are no females then there are no males…

      Reply
 
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