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The NRL season recapped in a 414 word sentence

Anthony Sharwood

by Anthony Sharwood

01 Oct 03:00pm

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Filed under: Grand Finals, Nrl, Sport

23 comments

No drunken atrocities despite Manly players launching season, Wayne Bennett’s old team beats Wayne Bennett’s new team, Sharks robbed by ref but don’t worry, the referees are set for their best and most consistent season ever…

League fans had plenty to sink their teeth into this year. Pic: Channel Nine

…No surprise as Eels start season with four straight losses, mild surprise as Storm start season with eight straight wins, major surprise as Premiership favourites Wests Tigers lose five of first six games, massive surprise as Cronulla win six straight after two early losses, complete and utter shock as Todd Carney fails to go on a single drunken bender…

…Matty Johns calls Tigers soft, Farah objects, Johns proved right, Rabbitohs find form, Rabbitohs find fans, Eels score 30 points in 13 minutes but still lose game, Eels score approximately same number of points for remainder of season, Queensland win Origin I thanks to radical interpretation of knock-on rule whereby touching the ball forward is deemed not to be a knock-on, but don’t worry, the refs are set for their most consistent season ever…

…David Gallops off into sunset after 10 years as NRL boss leaving rugby league in a “much better place” even though game still based in Sydney, no one understands shoulder charge rule, no one understands obstruction rule, no one understands anything the video ref or any ref does…

…NSW win Origin II giving annual dose of false hope, Queensland win Origin III making it seven straight series, Eels coach Stephen Kearney earns momentary reprieve from axe as Eels earn two much-need premiership points from bye, Ray Warren goes to London to call silver medallists, Ray Hadley steps in and drives everybody mad…

…Billion dollar TV rights deal sealed even though Nine can’t afford it, Bellamy loses five straight, Souths bandwagon in full swing, Eels coach Kearney sacked, Warriors coach McClennan sacked, Roosters coach Smith sacked, Tigers coach Sheens sacked, Raiders coach Furner not sacked, Gus makes absolutely no, no, no, no, no difference at Panthers…

…New finals system a winner, Cowboys beaten by Manly as officials ignore blatant knock-on, how on earth did they award that try Rabbits, no idea Gus, I just call the game…

…Joey named immortal, adding the letter “t” to a word many already associate him with, two biggest salary cap cheats in history face off in grand final, Storm bore Bulldogs and fans to death, Dog bites man, Bulldogs fans run amok, David Gallop happy he’s gone to a code where fans are much better behaved… oh wait a second.

Twitter: @antsharwood

Comments on this post close at 8pm AEST Tuesday.

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23 comments

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    • Labor 1 Allan "Al-Liar" Jones 0 says:

      03:13pm | 01/10/12

      414 ? 4-14 ?
      Canterbury   4
      Melbourne 14

      Reply
    • Anthony Sharwood

      Anthony Sharwood says:

      03:31pm | 01/10/12

      Just noticed that coincidence too Jane. Only picked the number 414 cos that was the number of words in my Olympic recap piece.

    • Sickemrex says:

      03:45pm | 01/10/12

      +1 internets, thanks for a giggle, go Storm!

      Reply

    • Mahhrat says:

      03:44pm | 01/10/12

      And the awesome double-win happens, with Sydney the Victorian game and Melbourne the New South Welsh game.

      Bloody marvellous.

      Reply

    • Shane* says:

      03:46pm | 01/10/12

      I can do it in one - Boring.

      Reply

    • Levi of Bris says:

      06:35pm | 01/10/12

      Better than watching seagulls fighting over a chip though shane.

    • pa_kelvin says:

      04:10pm | 01/10/12

      HOHOHAHA Ant, but shouldn’tyou still be on holidays??

      Reply
    • Anthony Sharwood

      Anthony Sharwood says:

      04:18pm | 01/10/12

      Nah, I’m back baby. We work public holidays

    • pa_kelvin says:

      04:26pm | 01/10/12

      Yeh me to….

    • pa_kelvin says:

      04:28pm | 01/10/12

      At least the Tigers won the Toyota Cup…. Looks like some up and comers will get a chance in the Big League next season to replace our loses…..Now all we need is a coach…..... Close game against Newtown also.

      Reply

    • Bill says:

      04:44pm | 01/10/12

      What a disgrace rugby is. Ear biting? No wonder no parent wants their children to play that violent, stupid game.

      It’s no surprise that the national code keeps getting more and more support while that rugby game only played by neanderthals is close to extinction.

      Long live footbal!

      Reply

    • pa_kelvin says:

      05:33pm | 01/10/12

      Where you been Bill…... I recall a hair pulling incident back in the VFL days.. Just go’s to show it’s a girls game….

    • Tim says:

      05:34pm | 01/10/12

      Now you’re supporting Soccer Bill?

      Make up your mind.

    • Lev of Bris says:

      06:31pm | 01/10/12

      Yeh bill because Barry Hall king hitting everything in sight is a great role model for kids. Either way I will just rehash how NRL consistently outrates AFL on tv. Have fun. can someone just ban Bill from trolling constantly?

    • JoniM says:

      07:16pm | 01/10/12

      “What a disgrace rugby is. Ear biting? No wonder no parent wants their children to play that violent, stupid game. “
      Yep !
      Nothing like that game of cowardly king hits on unprotected players that AFL espouses ! Where you get all of 4 weeks (pending appeal) on the sideline for an onfield axe murder ! Mums must love their kiddies entering into that barbaric arena !

    • Gamer says:

      07:28pm | 01/10/12

      If I do a quick google search, are you suggesting that I won’t find a single allegation of biting from an AFL game? It seems you are, since obviously your “national” sport obviously is to evolved for that sort of thing. Strange…I found 2 straight away…but that’s impossible, biting doesn’t occur in AFL. maybe they’re from years ago…no…one from 2010 and one from 2011. Seems ALF isn’t so evolved afterall.

      Bill, we get the point, you don’t like league. this is an article to discuss the season, not for your mini-rants about why your “national” code is so much better. Give it a bloody break with the comments, its incredibly irritating.

    • Lapun says:

      11:17am | 02/10/12

      Bill, the Rugby League have been talking about ear biting now for 60 years +.    Remember Bumper Farrel?    Now they will talk about it a little bit more and put it back in the too hard drawer as they always have.

    • MJL says:

      05:45pm | 01/10/12

      Can someone ban Bill from trolling every Rugby League article?

      It’s getting out of hand.

      Reply

    • Lapun says:

      11:26am | 02/10/12

      Ant, 2 further matters:
      1.    Becoming a Legend or Icon of League, I have always presumed, was an award for benefit to the game in general - not just another Best & Fairest Award.
      Joey Johns was a great footballer - a bit over-rated by broadcasters - but nevertheless great.  But his service to Rugby League hasn’t included the efforts put in by, say, Mal Meninga, in coaching and game development both in Australia and in places like Papua New Guinea in addition to his football ability.  And no suggestion of off-field innapropriate behaviour.

      I believe he would have been a better recipient of this particular award.

      2.  After watching the GF on the weekend I think the NRL instead of any criticism of Melbourne Salary cap breaches, should consider instead the incredible contribution they have made to Rugby League in Melbourne and in general.    They are undoubtedly exciting footballers in a class of their own and have over the past decade had their influence on other teams to boost the players’ of other teams to follow their performance, abilities, and subsequently attraction to followers of the game. 

      Instead of criticism the NRL should consider subsidising Melbourne as necessary to keep their core players together to show Australia what can happen when team abilities are developed over time.  (OK.  A little tongue-in-cheek.)

      But maybe some form of sunset clause could be considered by the NRL to relax salary cap restrictions when players like Smith, Slater, Tronc, etc. need to be kept together for the good of the game!

      Reply

    • Peter Davies says:

      01:36pm | 02/10/12

      “Cowboys beaten by Manly as officials ignore blatant knock-on”  should read “Incompetent coach, lazy commentators and biased fans think a hand between ball and camera proves the hand is touching the ball”. If you look carefully at both views it shows Foran does not tocuch the ball as the on field referee thought when he signalled 6 to go.

      Reply

    • Tim says:

      02:07pm | 02/10/12

      Foran admitted he touched it after watching the video.

      Only the most ardent Manly fan could possibly argue it wasn’t a knock on, he clearly touches it forward.

    • Peter Davies says:

      04:39pm | 02/10/12

      No he didn’t, Foran said he must have hit it after looking at the video. If you look at both views of the video replay carefully you will see that he doesn’t touch it but his hand obscures the ball in the first view leading many to believe he touched it. How does the ball start moving before his hand if he touched it? When Fittler asks Thurston if Foran touched it he doesn’t say yes he says “Look at the video”. 
      I’m a St.George-Illawarra fan and the truth is that the referee signalled 6 to go because he thought Thurston touched it. It annoys me that people say the video ref is blind when they see what they want to see.

    • Tim says:

      07:40pm | 02/10/12

      Peter,
      I see what was there not what a Manly supporter thinks.

      How does the ball start moving significantly towards the way Forans hand was moving if he didn’t touch it?

      Manly ‘hand of god’ Magic?

      He touched it and 99.99% of people agree. (the other .01% are manly supporters).

 
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