This weekend, as the world remembered events in the north eastern Japanese town of Fukushima, Australian swimmer Ian Thorpe would have done well to reflect on his past deeds in the south western Japanese city of Fukuoka.

Ummm. Yeah, maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

It was at the 1997 Fukuoka Pan Pacific Championships that 14 year old Ian Thorpe first announced himself to the world, winning silver in the 400m freestyle in an Olympics-strength field.

Four years later, with three Sydney Olympics golds under his belt, Thorpe won an unprecedented six gold medals at the Fukuoka World Championships. Those performances made him an imported icon of Beckhamesque stature in Japan.

He wasn’t exactly unpopular back home either. Even when the selfless Craig Stevens relinquished his spot after Thorpey fell into the pool at the 2004 Olympic trials, Thorpe still had most Australians on side. Hey, it’s not like he asked Stevens to step aside.

Australians tend to like our celebrities approachable and down to earth, especially our sporting personalities. That’s why we warmed to Geoff Huegill, who talked like us, then got fat like us too. Bugger me if he didn’t have sausage and eggs for breakfast the morning I interviewed him, even as he was in full training for his wildly successful Delhi Comm Games comeback.

Thorpe never had that everyman quality. He wasn’t above us, but he wasn’t like us either. Yet here’s the thing. We loved him anyway. Never for a moment did we turn on him en masse the way we turned on that other Western Sydney product Michael Clarke.

When a French newspaper claimed doping abnormalities in 2007, not for a minute for a minute did we suspect Thorpey dunnit. When Thorpe started playing regular coach swapsies, we always assumed the coach was the problem, not the swimmer himself. Lleyton Hewitt never got the benefit of that doubt.

Throughout his career, and even into his retirement, Thorpey was untouchable. He was a touch aloof and a little eccentric, but we loved him.

And then he announced his return. And suddenly, all bets were off. For the first time, people questioned his character. For one thing, his face was all weird and orange. And his comeback press conference was hosted by the CEO of an airline, which led people to question whether Thorpe’s motives were more pecuniary than competitive.

Whether or not he has cashflow issues, Thorpe has certainly lost his appeal in the lucrative Japanese market. Pokemons one day, Tamagotchis the next. In a culture with such a short cultural attention span, who can recall an Australian swimmer who did something or other back in ancient times when samurai warlords ruled?

If Thorpe is short of a dollar, that’s no shame. It happens to the best of us. But this weekend’s rumours of “six figure handshakes” from Swimming Australia to entice him back to the competitive fray didn’t exactly help us sympathise.

That’s why this week is now so important for Thorpe. With the looming Olympic trials in Adelaide, what matters now is not how fast, or more likely slow, he swims. What matters is how Ian Thorpe conducts himself.

Thorpe knows the time has come to talk straight. That’s why last week he admitted the most likely result of his comeback will be failure.

Here’s hoping that if he misses the team, he retires immediately, as Tony Lockett did after a handful of games when it became blisteringly clear he no longer had it anymore.

Ian Thorpe is an intelligent man. Ask him about the work of his Fountain for Youth charity and you’ll find he’s no distant figurehead, but a hands-on operator who can brief you in depth about the causes he supports based on his own experience working in the field.

The man is now 29. To be perfectly frank, swimming up and down a black line for a living is a waste of his talents.


Wet, wet, what?

Thorpe will contest both the 200m and 100m freestyle in Adelaide this week. The 200m and 400m were always his pet events, but he’s given up the longer race, and people forget what a fine 100m swimmer he once was.

In Sydney, he overhauled America’s 100m specialist Gary Hall Jr in the final leg of the famous “smash ’em like guitars 4x100m freestyle relay. Then in Athens, he came from last to snatch bronze in the 100. But Thorpe is now infinitely slower than Australia’s current 100m world champ James Magnussen.

He’s even further off the pace in the 200m. In Athens, Thorpe beat Pieter van den Hoogenband and Michael Phelps in a 200m race prematurely billed as the “Race of the Century”. A more mature Phelps won the Beijing 200m in a time which decimated Thorpey’s old mark. The bar has since lowered by another second.

All of which means, barring a miraculous improvement, Ian Thorpe can only qualify for the London Olympics by swimming sixth fastest or better in the 200m, thereby securing a relay berth.

Twitter: @antsharwood

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44 comments

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    • sir ronald bradnam says:

      06:49am | 12/03/12

      The more money they throw at him the slower he will go, it is only about $‘s.

    • babe in the woods says:

      07:19am | 12/03/12

      I met Ian in Sydney a while back.  He was a very nice man, pleasant to speak with and not at all arrogant or aloof.  I wish him all the best.

    • stephen says:

      07:52am | 12/03/12

      Yes and may he stay in Sydney because everybody else there is arrogant, aloof and unpleasant.
      Swimmers are a girl’s best friend, (and thanks for the recommendation.)

    • Tracker says:

      12:43pm | 12/03/12

      @stephen.. Yes and may he stay in Sydney because everybody else there is arrogant, aloof and unpleasant.

      Go to hell…. please grin With love from Sydney.

    • stephen says:

      03:20pm | 12/03/12

      I’ve been to hell Tracker ... but the fish and chips at Darling Harbour makes it all worthwhile.

    • Gemma says:

      08:40am | 13/03/12

      Yeah, and he was a complete jerk to me when I ran into him at the AIS in Canberra when I was a teen.
      Very nice? Not very likely!

    • Mahhrat says:

      07:34am | 12/03/12

      This will all end tragically, he’ll cry, he’ll pout, and he’ll release a best-seller biography of the unrealistic forces placed on him as a teenager.

    • TChong says:

      08:05am | 12/03/12

      I fear further cringeworthy embarrasments, reducing him to participant in a Survivor style , or , a “reporter” for a lifestyle show.

    • Pearl says:

      07:37am | 12/03/12

      As long as he stays away from TV presenting I don’t care what he does with his time.

    • Bye bye thorpy says:

      07:46am | 12/03/12

      Too old, too slow, too late.

    • centurion48 says:

      07:57am | 12/03/12

      Does Swimming Australia or the Olympic Games Association have that much spare cash that it can afford to send Thorpe to London if he is the sixth fastest 200m swimmer. Send someone who has potential for the next Olympic Games, not some guy who obviously is never going to resume a competitive swimming career.
      I applaud him for trying but somebody kind needs to have a word in his ear that the dream is over.

    • Dieter Moeckel says:

      08:16am | 12/03/12

      We are all entitled to our 5 seconds of fame but mostly we don’t get the second 5 seconds because it’s someone else’s turn.
      Mr Thorpe bask in the sunset of your past glory and let the sun rise on the young new tigers.

    • Mark of Brisbane says:

      01:39pm | 12/03/12

      If the “young new tigers” are good enough, then they will make the team. Oe do you think these young swimmers should just be handed their spot without having to swim a world-class time? Surely you aren’t suggesting they can’t beat a 29 year old are you?

    • Sad Sad Reality says:

      08:42am | 12/03/12

      “Thorpe never had that everyman quality. He wasn’t above us, but he wasn’t like us either.”

      When he was sitting catwalk side at an Armani pose off in an outfit fit for the Matrix, I figured out why he wasn’t like us.

    • Peter says:

      09:10am | 12/03/12

      “Thorpe knows the time has come to talk straight.”
      When he released his pearl jewellery for men, I too figured out he wasn’t like us. I was sweating for a while that no one would be stupid enough to buy into the jewellery for men fiasco. Whatever happened to it? Ebay maybe?
      My favourite part of his all-encompassing media career, was Thorpie’s Angels on Ch7 starring that kiss of death - Jackie Ho.
      Great swimmer in his day. But like all cricketers and footie players there comes a time to hang up the speedos.

    • Mark of Brisbane says:

      09:04am | 12/03/12

      Anthony, I know this is unbelievable, but guess what? It is his life, he doesn’t answer to you or any other journalist anywhere in the world. He gets to choose his pathway in life, not a cynic like you and not the other detractors who need an angle to get their click rate up on their columns to get paid. He decided he wanted to swim again, so he got back in the pool and had a go. And for those who question Swimming Australia and any cash they send his way, obviously none of you have ever worked in marketing or sponsorship have you? Let me make this simple for you. Sponsors and the TV networks demand a return on investment (ROI), and with the current crop of virtual no-names in bathers for the Oz team, the only way they can get ROI is with some past names coming back. That is how the whole sport ends up getting funded. You can bet the $$$$ Thorpe has brought back into the sport since his comeback far, far, far outweighs what he has pocketed. But hey, to have put that fact in the story would have meant some research from Anthony, and let’s face it, if he can’t just blather on off the top of his head then where the heck would this column be? One last thing, the Olympics isn’t a development competition. If these young swimmers, who you are all crying about might miss a spot on the team, were truly worthy of calling themselves and Olympian, they would be able to beat Thorpe. It is that simple.

    • Alex says:

      09:37am | 12/03/12

      That is certainly another viewpoint, Mark, and perhaps you are correct to a degree, but it seems to me that you may be white-washing over things a bit. 

      Thorpe committed a huge mistake with his career, in my view: he betayed us, his fans.  He broke our hearts by pulling the plug as he did, giving us some lame excuses about wanting to do “other things” (yeah, like what?).  And he’s never really been honest about other aspects of his private life, methinks.  I think a great deal of this is that he’s not been honest and genuine.  We Aussies like that. 

      So now he has seen the light and wants back in the game, apparently.  Ok, but it’s not as easy as that.  We don’t really trust him anymore.  It’s like a love affair.  He needs to rebuild what he destroyed and prove himself again.  He hasn’t done that and I guess some of us don’t like seeing him reap the rewards of a comeback which he has yet to do.  Anyways, that’s how I see it.  But i’m no expert.

    • Millsy says:

      09:41am | 12/03/12

      I agree with Mark. The guy can do what he damn well likes. If he’s good enough he’ll make, if he’s not he won’t. Simple as that

    • Baz says:

      10:23am | 12/03/12

      Exactly. If the man wants to make a comeback good on him. I spend my working life saving money so I can be the best weekend hack at my chosen sport but noone gives me crap for spending all my hardearned and time on it. Well Thorpey is a bit better at his sport so what, should he he simply go down and swim against D grade hacks at his local pool, no, he competes against the best. Go Thorpey, good luck mate and may his story be a lesson to all those who retire at the top of your game.

    • Allan says:

      12:21pm | 12/03/12

      Good on you Mark, but guess what? Anthony is a columnist. So just like it’s Thorpies prerogative to live his own life, Anthony is more than entitled to do the same - and being a journalist and social commentator I think he’s got every right to give his opinion on the matter. You’re happy to have a go at those people who aren’t familiar with marketing or sponsorship… well you yourself could do with a lesson in the world of journalism and in particular sports journalism where yes you are, in fact, paid (and expected) to have an opinion and voice it, just like Anthony has done. Get over it.

    • Mark of Brisbane says:

      01:46pm | 12/03/12

      Actually Allan, it would seem that despite you harping on about journalism (and by the way I have also worked as a journalist), you actually want to censor anyone else who has an opinion. Bad luck champ, I get my say too. As painful as it is for you to read an alternate point of view, I get to express it. If you don’t agree with what I have said, then here’s a novel approach for you ... go grab some facts and argue against me. My criticism of Anthony’s article wasn’t that he expressed an opinion, it was as usual there is little to no research going into it to back up his claims. There is also absolutely no thought put into presenting a bleedingly obvious counter-argument. See Allan, that’s what journalists do, and if you don’t understand that, then it is you who needs a lesson in the craft.

    • L. says:

      01:52pm | 12/03/12

      Alex says:

      “And he’s never really been honest about other aspects of his private life, methinks. “

      So your gripe is he hasn’t told us all about his “private” life…

      P..R..I..V..A..T..E…..life. You do understand what private means, yeah..?

    • Arnold Layne says:

      03:13pm | 12/03/12

      Alex is right in that Thorpe definitely retired too early.  He can be regarded as a great swimmer but not one of the all-time greats because of that.  However, if your heart’s not in it then your heart’s not in it.  If he wants to keep swimming now because he loves it, then good for him.

      I disagree on the private life stuff though.  As long as he’s not trying to pretend he’s something he’s not (and he isn’t, he’s made no comments either way) then it’s entirely up to him to keep it to himself if he wishes.

    • Cold reality says:

      09:47am | 12/03/12

      On a side note…

      Sydney 2000, Australia won medals across 20 sports.
      London 2012, Australia entire medal count will be in 6 sports.

      Athletics, swimming, cycling, hockey, rowing and sailing.

      The vast majority of these medals will be won by women.

      Australia will also field the Olympic team with the highest number of athletes not born in the country they represent for the first time ever.

      Forget Thorpey, we have other bigger issues - London 2012 is going to be a sorry, sorry display by us.

    • Kooks says:

      10:38am | 12/03/12

      Here’s some reality for you; the Opals will easily win a medal

    • St. Michael says:

      01:31pm | 12/03/12

      “Forget Thorpey, we have other bigger issues - London 2012 is going to be a sorry, sorry display by us.”

      Yeah, because it totally matters if we have to beat a group of economically clapped-out countries drowning in debt and unemployment, in a set of horribly expensive, White Elephant games that more and more are being won in test tubes and engineering labs than on the field.  For Christ’s sake, there are more important things in life.  If AIS’s budget has been given to something else more worthy, then roll on the medal drought.

    • Mark of Brisbane says:

      01:37pm | 12/03/12

      Het Cold Reality, the women’s basketball Opals will be going for Gold in London.

    • kitteh says:

      03:21pm | 12/03/12

      Thanks, St. Michael. FFS there are more worthy things to allocate funding to than ONE person faffing around in a pool. I don’t care if they win or lose; I care that our hospitals need more beds.

    • Esteban says:

      04:39pm | 12/03/12

      What about shooting, bows and arrows, the horse stuff, women’s gymnastics.

      It is a sad reality that you have to spend a lot of money to achieve olympic success. However there are huge economic benefits from hosting the games. If you want to host them every 50 years or so then you increase your chances by being successful in the intervening years and demonstrating a committment to the games.

      Also the intangible benefit of being uplifting to the national spirit can not be forgotten. What about the improvement to the national health as a result of those inspired to take up a sport or get more active as a result of the olympics.

      St. Michael I might be mistaken but I think you once posted about the benefits that came from the NASA space program as justification for the cost. There must be cost comparable benefits from sport in fields such as nutrition, sports medicine physio etc.

    • Dan Webster says:

      09:56am | 12/03/12

      Our olympic swim team are treated like royality in this country. It is very lame.

    • Boo says:

      11:19am | 12/03/12

      So is bad spelling…

    • Dan Webster says:

      12:26pm | 12/03/12

      Whoops typo, royalty, Thanks Boo.

      (Lol, royality is an abbreviation for Roy’s reality !.)

    • Trevor says:

      10:01am | 12/03/12

      We all know that Thorpie is gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! It’s my bet that once this comeback fails, his next attempt to top up his bank account wil be a 7 figure deal to a woman’s magazine in which he will ‘break the news’.

    • stephen says:

      03:56pm | 12/03/12

      I reckon the news is broke, and I’ll wager Bob Katter goes around to his place to get him a seat in Parliament.
      (Be sitting on his knee, too, I’d reckon.)

    • Kassandra says:

      11:50am | 12/03/12

      Gee you lot are tough. Thorpedo became a world champion at 14 years old, the youngest ever. He’s never really had a life apart from swimming so he goes off to give it a try and not surprisingly he’s come back to what he knows. It’s not like he’s the first champion to try and make a comeback. Has to be one of the toughest sports to do it in though. If it doesn’t work out he will still have been one of the sport’s greatest champions. Good luck to him.

    • Blake says:

      11:55am | 12/03/12

      These comments just goes to show you the Australian Attitude.

      We love winners, but hate losers.

      So easy do we turn out backs and spit.

    • The Sub says:

      12:12pm | 12/03/12

      This has to rate as the worst intro of the year thus far:

      This weekend, as the world remembered events in the north eastern Japanese town of Fukushima, Australian swimmer Ian Thorpe would have done well to reflect on his past deeds in the south western Japanese city of Fukuoka.

      That’s quite simply egregious.

    • The Sage says:

      12:51pm | 12/03/12

      Convenient quitting swimming when he did so that FINA would not proceed with the investigation into his positive drug tests. Then he makes a comeback because the kitty is looking sick! Very sad. He obviously has not come out yet for his mothers sake and possible negative impact on his sponsorship deals.

    • Mark of Brisbane says:

      01:35pm | 12/03/12

      ... and you have proof to back up any of this where?

    • Miss Bessie Briggs. says:

      01:08pm | 12/03/12

      Being the centre of the media’s constant focus is dreadful. But when this focus moves to another champian sportsman it’s even more dreadful. It’s no different from what TV & movie super stars have to cope with. I am an ex opera singer & once upon a time was feted by Kings & Presidents. It was like a living death when I realised that my prime had past & I was no longer wanted.
      It was my adult children who helped me to grow old gracefully….....or in my case, disgracefully, so I understand fully what Ian Thorpe is going through…....he needs to find a new focus so that he can carry on with his life happily & with a sense of purpous that will give him the reason he needs in order that he grows old gracefully.

    • Peter says:

      02:52pm | 12/03/12

      Poor Thorpey. Had it all. The gold medals, the sponsors, the cash. All he had to do was be truthful but he couldn’t do it and will now be another statistic in the record books. I guess he’ll get a do a bit of commentary but not much because he aint exactly Mr Personality.
      Poor Thorpey. Should have learned a trade. He’s the Scud of swimming (though he won a lot more than the Scud).
      Bessie has the answer - Thorpey needs a wife. Worked for Eloton and Jacko.

    • thatmosis says:

      03:27pm | 12/03/12

      Thorpe has a dream and far be it for us or some clown who thinks himself a journalist to punture that dream. Not all dreams come to fruition but it is for the dreamer to find this out not some arsehole who sits at a computer and writes about crap he obviously knows nothing about. Leave the guy alone, at least he is out there giving it a try unlike some.

    • Steve says:

      04:18pm | 12/03/12

      Give the guy a break, at least he is having a crack. And $100k to help with a comeback is a pittance to a proven world & olympic champ in multiple events. It is nothing compared to the revenue he would have made for them previously, and pales in comparison to the hundreds of millions given to sports that are a complete failure like soccer.

    • Pie in the Sky says:

      04:24pm | 12/03/12

      ‘puncture’

      ‘Not all dreams come to fruition, but it is for the dreamer to find this out, not some arsehole who sits at a computer and writes about crap he obviously knows nothing about.’

      ‘Leave the guy alone. At least he is out there giving it a try unlike some.’

 

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