I was an aggressive breast feeder. Occasionally when we were out, if my wife raised a concern about being a tad public with getting the boobies out, I told her to go ahead and do it.

Look away, Kochie

If anyone had a problem, they’d have to deal with me. So whenever my baby daughter fed in public, I was like a traffic cop with a radar gun on a lonely highway, just praying for someone to break the law so I could spring into action.

No ever did have a problem with it though. Or if they did, they didn’t raise it directly with us. Probably they didn’t care, or perhaps they noticed my state of anti-breastfeeding alertness and decided it wasn’t worth the trouble.

A similar thing happened when she got a tattoo. She worried that people might see the ink and make a negative judgement about her. Once again, I told her to go right ahead and do it. Who gives a shit what people think about your tattoo on your body?

A similar thing happened when we caught our first plane with our kid. We were both worried that the kid might cry and make life difficult for our fellow travellers. But what are the options? Don’t go on holiday?

Drive 20 hours to my brother’s place in South Australia with a 3 month old baby in the back seat? Stuff that. We flew. If the kid cried, the kid cried. All we could do was make every preparation to stop the kid crying and hope for the best.

And of course, the best way to keep a 3 month old baby quiet during take-off and landing is… you guessed it… breastfeeding! It’s comforting for them and the swallowing eases the pressure on the ears.

So there was my wife, wearing a T-shirt with her tattoo clearly visible, breastfeeding a baby on a plane! Oh the humanity! The horror! What is the world coming too? Surely someone would say something. So I was ready for it!

But no-one said anything. Maybe if she were a single mum bludging off the government and conscientiously refusing to vaccinate they might have piped up. Maybe if Kochie was on the plane with us, he might’ve asked her to be a little more discreet. But that didn’t happen, which is kind of a shame really. Me and Kochie nose to nose at 30, 000 feet! That right there is my dream breast-feeding confrontation. Maybe I’ll get a chance at that if we have another kid like everyone keeps telling us to.

Of course, Mums shouldn’t need a hyper-vigilant pumped up dad on hand to look out for them. If you do see a breast-feeding Mum and it concerns you, just grow up. Look somewhere else and forget about it. There are more important things to worry about… like climate change, or religion.

Get a whole lot more Mick on Twitter or find out about his next gig via his website

Comments on this post close at 8pm AEST

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58 comments

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    • Helt says:

      04:21am | 22/01/13

      Thats the problem in a nutshellin one short article. It seems everyone these days must conform to my rights of an individual or there will be hell to pay. The NRA ignoring the deaths of children to protect their right to bear arms. Breastfeeding mothers ignoring the discomfort of others so they can whip them out., No comprimise no reasoning my way or the highway. Its always someone elses problem and if you dont like it Im ready to fight about it. It seems the only time the right of the indiviual doesnt take precedence is when Im not the individual wanting their rights protected. As soon as a person waers low riding pants or has a haircut we deem inappropriate we are suddenly allowed to make all kids of judgements and say how its not right.  It seems the Australian way of life is personal rights are the most important thing in life unless the person whose rights are affected isnt me. Very Hypocritical

    • Jim Moriarty says:

      08:02am | 22/01/13

      But why are you uncomfortable about breastfeeding? I think that is the real question.

    • Emily says:

      10:08am | 22/01/13

      Did you seriously just compare breastfeeding mothers to the NRA?

    • Bob says:

      11:03am | 22/01/13

      In response to Jim, I do not consider that to be the real question at play here. Every person will have different things that upset their sensibilities, so as to make such a question largely dependent on personal preferences.

      It would appear that many people are uncomfortable with the act of breastfeeding in public. Be that for puritanical - or other - reasons, the issue remains that it is perhaps inconsiderate towards such people to engage in the conduct.

      I understand that in certain circumstances I must modify my behavior to conform to my surroundings, and I accept this as a sacrifice one must make if they wish to live in a community - sometimes my needs must be subordinate to the needs of others, where my actions will make them uncomfortable. I do not, for instance, swear in front of old ladies. I refrain from discussing politics at the dinner table, etc.

      I find the real issue here to be the lack of tolerance for the needs of others. If someone finds your actions unpalatable, and says so, is the correct response to beat them about the head? Is it to declare them a fool and steamroll over their objections?

      In short, how does a society maintain any semblance of accord when members of the community are so reluctant to accommodate the sometimes inscrutable needs of others?

      This is mere dogmatism and, as such, endears no respect for it’s proponents. While sometimes another’s concept of appropriate behavior may be so disproportional so as to warrant a rebuke or response (see, for an extreme example, calls for burqas and such things), is this particular circumstance meritorious of such an exaggerated, and hostile, reaction?

    • Helt says:

      11:29am | 22/01/13

      Emily as a group that fights for their rights without compromise and blind to reason yes I did. In the breast feeding arguement I fail to see the problem with brining a blanket to cover yourself. Problem solved

    • Tim the Toolman says:

      11:45am | 22/01/13

      “In response to Jim, I do not consider that to be the real question at play here. “

      No Bob, it is the real question.  The problem is, no one wants to look into their actual motives.  It is, in fact, the only question worth asking.  After that, the motives of those who are uncomfortable can be correctly analysed and assessed for validity.

      For example:  “It’s icky” is a terrible reason.  “It offends my sensibilities” is similarly slack in justification and is not actually answering the question.  Why does it offend?

    • Helt says:

      01:56pm | 22/01/13

      You’ve convinced meTim. It’s not illegal not to close the stall while taking a poop is it? I’m going to start doing that as it will save me tons of time. Anyone who doesn’t like it can look away and it’s natural and has to be done so anyone who doesn’t like it has the problem because its icky doesn’t cut it for a reason for me to stop.

    • Rob says:

      04:56am | 22/01/13

      Hey pal most people do just ‘look somewhere else and forget about it’. They don’t need to grow up.

      It’s just pumped up mothers who need to make a fuss about it. Or is it pumped up fathers.

      Point is, no one is really offended. What irks them is people who won’t grow up and need to make an issue of it.

    • Gail says:

      10:45am | 22/01/13

      Hope I’m never a fellow passenger with Mick.  What an unnecessarily aggressive stance to take.

    • Paleoflatus says:

      06:08am | 22/01/13

      Mothers occasionally need to breast-feed in a public place. I quite understand that and would encourage them to go ahead. It’s such a natural thing, anyway.
      I’m also occasionally in public when I have a strong need to scratch my balls, or rearrange my tangled kit. Having normal respect for the sensibility of others, I do it as discretely as possible. I naturally expect breast-feeding mothers to show me the same respect.
      I believe that’s all David Koch wants, too. Is that asking too much?

    • egg says:

      09:09am | 22/01/13

      @Paleoflatus, until your ball readjustment is to supply nutrients to a small being, you’re right to keep your sack to yourself. A breast being used for it’s biological purpose is not, and should not be, offensive. Respect doesn’t mean hiding from you.

      Also, it’s a boob, grow up.

    • Anubis says:

      01:34pm | 22/01/13

      What everyone is overlooking in this argument is what triggered it. A mother sitting on the edge of a public swimming pool feeding her kid - a complaint was made to the pool management by <shock/horror> another woman, not a man but one of the sistas made the complaint. Kochie stated his thoughts about it. There is no widespread condemnation of the sista who made the complaint - noooo, cant criticise one of the sistas. But Kochie being male then give him both barrels and keep it coming when all he asked for is that people show a bit of discretion and ...wait for it…..respect for other people while they are in public. He did not say don’t breast feed in public he simply asked for some consideration.

    • ramases says:

      06:26am | 22/01/13

      Hasn’t this been done to death or are there more people out there with a story to tell and bore the crap out of everybody. The gist of the whole thing is, put simply, women breast feed, nothing new there, women do it in public, still nothing new there, some clown makes a comment before his brain is engaged, nothing new there either, Story ends and hopefully this latest crusade about a storm in a D cup, I know I’ve used that before but it fits, pardon the pun..

    • Fiddler says:

      06:39am | 22/01/13

      I am not aware of anyone, even from posts here on the punch who is offended by breast feeding. But there are clearly a small number of mothers out there who seem to be more interested in the shock value of doing it and using it as a way of making others uncomfortable than the kids.

      I had a woman come and see me at work about two months ago and had her two year old son in tow. She came at a time that she asked for and was only going to need to see me for about five minutes. About two minutes in, while she was mid sentence she pulled a boob out while staring me straight in the eye and called her son over (who was quite happy playing with a toy) and simply said “It’s his feed time” then pulled him off a few minutes later when she left.

      Bare in mind this was the first time I had ever met her and she arranged the time. I dare say it would have been his feed time no matter when she came down.

      This is a manufactured outrage. The stupid mothers who come out with the vitriolic “I put my childs needs before yours” are just morons looking for a reason to get angry. It is possible to be discrete and still feed your kid. End of story, job done.

    • TChong says:

      07:40am | 22/01/13

      From what I saw of the “controversy”, it appears to me, that many of the “outraged “mothers , were seeking 15 seconds of TV fame, by bravely battling strawmen of their own invention.

    • Philosopher says:

      07:41am | 22/01/13

      ‘she pulled a boob out while staring me straight in the eye…’ dear God, why didn’t you call the police, Fiddler? What about the next poor man she assaults with a glimpse of her milky breast, and the next, and the next? You have a DUTY to report her!!!

    • All says:

      08:01am | 22/01/13

      I am not offended by breast feeding in public, it is a beautiful act of love done between mother and child, an act that can be done in full view but discreetly, no need for blatently exposing yourself with a gleam in the eye daring anyone to either look or complain. This is just an act of aggression and provocation to score misogony points. If you are at the beach and wish to bare your breasts then that is your decision. A decision made in the full knowledge that you have something you wish to show and in the full knowledge that you want to be seen and admired. Heaven help anyone not of the right age, wealth, racial, physical or social grouping that dares look though. Breast feeding though is a private act and I will always avert my gaze and proceed in such a manner so as not to allow myself to be ever accused of being a voyeur. Expose your breasts at the beach and I will appreciate and admire but not overtly as I also do not want to play your look at me games.  Expose your breasts while breast feeding and I will look away, walk away and give you the privacy you and your child deserve. Nothing Kochie said was offensive he is just a victim of the ‘misogony is everywhere and we must expose it’ culture that is currently being promoted by Gillard and co. We have become a poorer society for allowing this new culture of offense is everywhere, in everything, in every word and every action.

    • Nilbog says:

      06:54am | 22/01/13

      “If anyone had a problem, they’d have to deal with me. So whenever my baby daughter fed in public, I was like a traffic cop with a radar gun on a lonely highway, just praying for someone to break the law so I could spring into action.”

      In other words, you are a tool. Thanks for that.

    • Sputnick says:

      09:49am | 22/01/13

      Funny Nilbog, that’s the exact message I got out of the article too…

      Seriously mate, we all understand there are going to be times when it is impossible, or unfeasible to breastfeed discreetly. As many others have mentioned, most mothers and most of the public understand this, do the right thing, and don’t have an issue with it. The issue is your provocative, challenging, my-rights-before-anyone-else’s attitude. As you freely admitted, you encouraged your wife to breastfeed publicly IN THE HOPE you would offend someone. For that, you are a tool.

      Don’t listen to your friends mate. Don’t have another kid. We don’t need that attitude instilled in the next generation.

      For the record I don’t have an issue with breastfeeding anywhere, but obviously others do. You should respect that, just like I respect that others don’t like the c-word (an excellent point raised by someone earlier). This is not about breastfeeding anymore, but rather about a self centered attitude and a lack of respect for others that is becoming more and more common in today’s society.

    • Tim the Toolman says:

      11:50am | 22/01/13

      ” obviously others do”

      I’m offended by religion (far more than people claiming to be offended by breast feeding are, I assure you).  Can I have them hide away so I don’t have to listen to their deluded crap that has caused far more misery and harm than a bit of breastfeeding?

    • Paul says:

      12:06pm | 22/01/13

      Spot on Nilbog!

    • Tim says:

      07:06am | 22/01/13

      From what you’re saying most of your breastfeeding in public was discreet. Exactly what Koch was talking about.

      Good on you for supporting his position about respect for others.

    • Doona says:

      09:50am | 22/01/13

      Who the hell is Mick Neven?

      Apparently a comedian, or that’s what he purports to be. The type no one pays to see specifically I guess.

      Looking forward to Tracy Morgan touring this year.

    • Lem says:

      12:14pm | 22/01/13

      Perhaps this article was supposed to be funny?

    • Bitten says:

      07:20am | 22/01/13

      Fark Punch. Are we seriously doing this again?

    • Philosopher says:

      08:58am | 22/01/13

      I agree. Discussing breasts goes a looong way, but there are limits.

    • craig2 says:

      07:31am | 22/01/13

      Mick: I stand 6 foot 2 and weigh 100 kg and I got the s##t kicked out of me for defending my lady’s ” honour”. I believe it is you, who needs to grow up and cut the “toe to toe” crap. Heed the advice Mick, for the lesson is painful.

    • Tim the Toolman says:

      11:52am | 22/01/13

      “Heed the advice Mick, for the lesson is painful. “

      So….the lesson is don’t defend your ladies honour?  Whoever hit you must have given you a solid kick between the legs if that’s your conclusion (I really hope it’s not….I hope you’re just saying don’t get into fights over stupid things….of which defending her honour is not).

    • Stirrer says:

      02:13pm | 22/01/13

      Okay, Tim = tough guy. We get it dude.

      Feel free to make up a story about how many fights you have won to try and impress everyone if it will make you feel bigger.

    • Fiddler says:

      02:48pm | 22/01/13

      Tim, if you really need to “defend a ladies honour” chances are she doesn’t have much

    • craig2 says:

      02:56pm | 22/01/13

      Tim: no, defend the ladies honour but not when you’ve been jumped by three blokes, one being the instigator by putting his hand on her ass and being told off twice by her. My advice is simply a reflection on what you don’t see coming your way sometimes by maintaining a righteous attitude. Mick will find trouble if maintains his current attitude, how serious it gets depends on how willing he is to walk away.

    • Sam says:

      08:09am | 22/01/13

      Your whole article is “screw everyone else we do what we want. If you don’t like it then I will fight you”. Yet you tell others to “grow up”.

    • Jordan says:

      08:28am | 22/01/13

      Mick, you are the reason civilized society is slowly vanishing. You look for a reason to fight where none exists.
      No one cares about your wife’s tits. No one cares about you and your crying kid.
      Planes are filled these days with people like you who think it their right to make all those around them suffer for 20 hours or so. It is why I will never travel economy. It is a lottery who sits near you, but these days you can guarantee it will be some jerk like you who has zero respect for others. Cry away mate, I am sitting up the front tucking into some salmon and having a nice sleep. You can impose your own little version of hell on everyone, I wont be enduring it, thank heavens.

      In the past parents went to their doctor and got some drugs to calm the kid and make them sleep for the flight. Less stressful for the child, the parents and fellow travellers but these days we must all suffer along with you, right?

      I feel that all that cash thrown at parents these days has set up a cycle of arrogance and self entitlement. You are not special mate, billions of people have had kids and countless trillions will have them in the future. You are just here for a few years and then you are gone and the world would have kept turning just fine with or without you or your child being born. Its not that big a deal having a child mate, it just seems like it is to you and your wife.

    • Sheriff says:

      08:31am | 22/01/13

      “Aggressive breasefeeder”? You seem more like a generally aggressive little bastard looking to pick fights, and using your wife to provide excuses.

    • Linguo says:

      09:47am | 22/01/13

      Little man syndrome it looks like from the picture on his site.

    • Jordan says:

      08:32am | 22/01/13

      “I was an aggressive breast feeder.”

      I feel sorry for your wife’s nipples mate. A big guy like you latching on and sucking away aggressively must have been a hell of an experience for your wife. I hope you left some milk for your kid you greedy bugger.

    • Ridge says:

      08:37am | 22/01/13

      “I was like a traffic cop with a radar gun on a lonely highway, just praying for someone to break the law so I could spring into action.”

      My gosh, that’s fortunate for them! Lest they be beaten by a limp-wristed whiteknight. “Thtaaaahp!”

      And since you didn’t get to prove yourself in your manufactured fantasy, you have a lot of unresolved beta rage.  So you write an article like this, dreaming about physically threatening people for any perceived affront against your fair lady’s honour.

      “...That right there is my dream breast-feeding confrontation.”

      My god, you’re an even bigger mangina than I thought.  Even some self-proclaimed feminists aren’t as indignant as you are.

    • T-rev says:

      09:52am | 22/01/13

      Mangina is an apt description of this fella…

    • Phillb says:

      08:42am | 22/01/13

      Got it, your rights and those of your wife and child or more important then anyone else’s.
      Remember that when I sit next to you on a plane, fart, pick my nose, scratch my crotch and make inappropriate comments about your wife.
      I’ve seen Youtube comments that make more sense then your article.

    • lostinperth says:

      09:08am | 22/01/13

      What do I get out of this article?

      “ME ME ME ME ME ME ME

      I demand the right to do whatever I want as I am selfish and inconsiderate with an over- inflated sense of my own self importance. “

      What a load of self indulgant twaddle.

      You have just proven Koch’s case. A little bit more consideration for others and less selfishness by the ME generation and there would not be a problem.

    • Isis says:

      09:26am | 22/01/13

      You know, I can’t think of one instance when I was breastfeeding any of our 3 children, that more than a couple of inches of breast would have been seen by a passerby, or anyone nearby. And I wasn’t ever aiming for discretion. I fed in churches, on planes, in restaurants, in parks, in schools. I wonder if those calling for breastfeeding to be more discrete have ever actually sat with a woman who was just simply, feeding her child. It isn’t a case of baring the breast, wiping it clean, waving it in the breeze to airdry, having a mouthful of coffee, then attaching (by now) hungry baby. The order of events to feed go like this- position baby in arms in front of breast to be fed from, lift top/unbutton shirt/lower neckline, unlatch bra to free nipple/aereola, move waiting baby to breast. While those actions are happening, the baby is in front of the breast, effectively blocking view of any flesh. Unless an observer is sitting beside the woman, or standing in front of her. Or the baby is having a good old look around at the exciting surroundings. I think it is a myth the ‘attention seeking breastfeeders’ whose aim is to challenge and incite comment. Sure a woman may make direct eye contact to observers but that is hardly an invitation to debate, attempting to offend or purposefully being indiscrete.  Certainly not in the ballpark of the NRA ignoring child deaths.

    • Jordan says:

      09:43am | 22/01/13

      What you just described is not what was being discussed. What you described is exactly what Koch said he thinks is perfectly acceptable.
      Maybe that confusion is what has caused this issue to spiral out of control.

    • Fiddler says:

      10:32am | 22/01/13

      Isis, see my post above. You are one of the thousands who have nothing but the support of, well pretty much everyone that I have either not noticed, or paid no attention to besides seeing and thinking no more of. In my life I have seen maybe three or four of the attention seeking ones.

      This is manufactured outrage by the press and some mothers looking for something to be angry about.

    • Ally says:

      10:47am | 22/01/13

      See, that’s what most people do. However, I have actually experienced situations in public where a woman will have her baby sitting in the pram beside her, she takes down half her top and fully exposes at least one breast, then she eventually reaches for the baby. The baby finishes, she sits there a while longer before covering back up. It’s unnecessary. These people are spoiling for a confrontation. They want people to be uncomfortable and they want to be able to attack you and inform you of their rights if you even look at them sideways. If you avoid looking, you’re obviously uncomfortable with breastfeeding. If you look, you’re a pervert.

      The whole tone of this article exemplifies this - the author WANTED people to be offended so he could get his kicks by attacking them. That’s not normal and is an incredibly selfish attitude to take. It’s a great example to your kids - screw what everyone else thinks! Just do what you want and don’t consider people around you!

    • Philosopher says:

      12:08pm | 22/01/13

      Ally, as far as I am concerned, exposing a breast is an act of war and I’m pretty sure the UN knows how to deal with that. Wasn’t Archduke Ferdinand killed when a female German operative dispatched him with a well-aimed nipple?

    • Ally says:

      12:59pm | 22/01/13

      Philosopher - not sure if it was the breast or the resulting squirt of breast milk that was responsible.

    • meh says:

      09:43am | 22/01/13

      “Occasionally when we were out, if my wife raised a concern about being a tad public with getting the boobies out, I told her to go ahead and do it.”

      Way to feel empathy with your loved one. She wants to find somewhere she feels more comfortable and you basically said “gets your tits out here”.

    • Sam de Brito says:

      10:18am | 22/01/13

      One day the hosts of Sunrise will breastfeed live while doing interviews and we’ll look back on the “offended” peoples of history as we do the Brill Creamed pinheads tut-tutting about Elvis’s pelvis.

    • Nilbog says:

      11:06am | 22/01/13

      Doubtful, but good luck with your prediction, champ.

    • Ridge says:

      11:46am | 22/01/13

      lol, you’d want that, wouldn’t you.

      Feminist.

    • calli says:

      12:13pm | 22/01/13

      And yet, your coy picture to illustrate this post is nothing but a baby clutched to a mum with a low cut blouse.  Were you afraid to offend readers by showing a baby actually breastfeeding?  Seems you are advocating a standard in the community which is ‘lower’ than your own.  Now why would that be?  Just curious.

    • Anjuli says:

      10:48am | 22/01/13

      It is a me first society now ,what ever happened to considering others, feed the baby any where any time, there are clothes designed for breast feeding demurely . I thought this issue had been done to death when the politician fed her baby in parliament .

    • Ridge says:

      11:43am | 22/01/13

      First: Parliament.  Next: On the battlefield in a real war.

      Y’know, because equality or some rubbish.

      Her body, her choice!

    • Johannes Wilhelm Muller says:

      11:14am | 22/01/13

      Well it turns me on, so I must be a pervert, right?  There’s nothing more natural or sexy than this act of nurturing. Most women are discreet and to those who demonstrate as an affirmative action, the best of luck.  Meanwhile, prudes can go home - you’ve damaged society sufficiently.

    • Fiddle-dee-dee says:

      12:16pm | 22/01/13

      I agree. And some mothers complain when you have your hands down your pants whilst watching them!

      Talk about prudes!!

    • Smashmellows says:

      12:25pm | 22/01/13

      So you poke some guy in the chest because he’s making a bit of a scene about your wife breast feeding and next thing you have your face stoved-in in front of wife and baby.  Nice work.  Have you ever even been in a street fight?  Idiot.

    • Rick says:

      01:23pm | 22/01/13

      ^ This. In real life, fights don’t stop when you’re knocked to the ground.

    • Paul says:

      06:44pm | 22/01/13

      In the real world, if you know that something makes others uncomfortable and then do it anyway and then tell them to like it, that’s called being an inconsiderate arsehole. That’s why you might feel anxious about doing it. That’s healthy. That’s just the ghost of your conscience giving you a hint, but it’s something your child will probably have bred out of them.

      No one’s making you starve your kid. There are plenty of alternatives to blatantly hanging your tits out in public. That’s redneck behaviour. It’s not a contest to see who’s the most motherly. Some people are uncomfortable watching people take needles, some get uncomfortable watching someone click their knuckles. But when you know for a fact that such a large proportion of the population feel uncomfortable around breast-feeding, why not cover it up a little? Instead of saying “F*** you, it’s my right!”

      Koch’s comments were always going to annoy the militant idiots who were never going to listen to what he was saying. Exhibitionist breast-feeders are not hard-done-by refugees or righteous freedom fighters. This is not a worthy cause. It’s just selfish people campaigning for the right to not feel guilty while treating others with disdain.

      You’ve got the legal right to be an arsehole. Farting in a lift isn’t illegal, nor is eating with your mouth open, though urinating in public can see you registered as a sex offender strangely enough.  It’s not a sign of weakness to make a slight adjustment to your behaviour for the sake of your fellow citizens.

      You’re not legally obliged to say please or thank you, do you lot even bother with that?

 

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