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11 Nov 01:00pm

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Filed under: Facebook, Friday Dilemma, Parties, Social Media

59 comments

So a Puncher got invited to a big birthday bash a little while ago.

Just wait'll I break out my David Brent impersonations. Pic: Chris Pavlich.

The invitation was sent over Facebook. The Puncher was only really an acquaintance of the person whose party it was, but was happy to have been invited.

After all, the Puncher had a really good conversation with the acquaintance at a party not all that long ago.

So the Puncher filed the date away in their mind and forgot about it. Until a week or so later when a friend asked the Puncher whether they were going to So and So’s birthday party. The Puncher looked up the event on Facebook, and noticed that their invitation was gone.

Rescinded. All of the Puncher’s friends invitations were still there. The Puncher was bewildered.

Then just a few days ago, about a week before the party, the Puncher received another invite to the same party. From this, The Puncher could only assume that he was now being re-invited because not enough other people had RSVP’d.

In other words, the host was desperate. Stuff it, they said. We need bodies at this party. Socially awkward freaks are better than nobody.

This brings us to this week’s dilemma: Should the Puncher go to the party? All their mates are going. But was the Facebook dis-invite just a bit too rude? What if it was an oversight? What if it’s a rockin’ party?

You tell us.

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- hot tub political machine says:
  
  12:07pm | 11/11/11
  
  What if it was a bug in software, what if they are taking it too seriously, what if it hardly matters what someone you hardly know thinks of you? What if all these questions lead to neurotic thinking patterns? What if the person just decided to do what they like with their free time
  
  Reply
KH says:

01:34pm | 11/11/11

‘Filing the date away’ in ones mind is not an RSVP. The puncher is the rude one. If you get an invitation, you should respond. The host presumably is not a mind reader, and cannot pull catering out of thin air because rude people just show up unannounced.
dancan says:

03:21pm | 11/11/11

That’s very true KH. The puncher should have hit “accept” or at least “maybe” and let the host know they were considering it.

Writing things down or making note doesn’t tell anyone that you’re wanting to go.
- Tim says:
  
  12:08pm | 11/11/11
  
  Must be a female puncher.
  No man would over dramaticise something so unimportant as a facebook invitation this much.
  
  I would advise said puncher to sit and home and stew in their juices just knowing that the party would be crap anyway.
  
  Then when the puncher has a big birthday party in a few years time, make sure to invite then uninvite this person just to get revenge.
  
  Well either that or go to the party with an AK-47 and exact instant sweet revenge.
  
  Reply
RyaN says:

01:43pm | 11/11/11

Ha I was thinking the exact same thing, males don’t read into things like this, if you want me there cool, if you don’t, whatever, that’s fine too and get on with life. This is clearly a case of “men are from mars, women are from venus”.
Bazza says:

04:48am | 12/11/11

Tim, don’t be too quick on the male/female bit. A couple of the male punchers could be taken for females the way they write and one female certainly uses language of a gutter snipe.
- Elphaba says:
  
  12:10pm | 11/11/11
  
  The Puncher should confront the party thrower and say ‘I’m a bit confused, I think my Facebook is playing up. I saw an invite to your party, and then it was gone, and now it’s reappeared. Can you just confirm the date of the party and whether I’m invited or not?”
  
  You know - handle the situation like a grown-up?
  
  Reply
Stoned Pigeon says:

12:36pm | 11/11/11

Lol. Well said.

Considering the puncher is obviously quite insecure, you really should go to the party, bring some drinks, meet lots of new and exciting people, and sit around with them and get really, REALLY high. It will be a great night. He’ll I’ll even come and help get you high
Mahhrat says:

12:39pm | 11/11/11

Elphaba wins. Flawless victory. Reality.
Elphaba says:

12:45pm | 11/11/11

@Stoned Pigeon, nice nick there.

Agreed. The best revenge if the person did make an awkward snafu, would be to be the life of the party. Then all their mates will invite you to theirs - hello, new friends. You can never have too many new friends.

@Mahhrat, at times I feel I am definitely not from this planet. Apparently drama is the norm, and the logical and rational are freaks. *sigh*
Mahhrat says:

01:12pm | 11/11/11

@Elph, in all seriousness (and on a Friday, no less), I consider that irrationality has its place. Emotion has its base in it, and I think its a necessary part of the wonderful “je ne sais quoi” of humanity.

I think it should be a minor role, but given how much “rationality” gets abused even on this site, we should not simply shut out the irrational simply because it is, but learn to identify it and give it its proper place as a way to determine motivation.

For example, it is completely irrational that I eat too much. I know that rationally, and yet sometimes I eat too much. It’s important to understand why that is in a non-judgmental way, because a rational, “Eat less, you fat bastard” obviously doesn’t work.

(On that, another kilo gone!)
Elphaba says:

01:39pm | 11/11/11

“Eat less, you fat bastard” obviously doesn’t work.

Lol, that’s why I’m not a psychologist.

Nicely done. I went to the doc’s yesterday for a quick once over and he commented on me looking a bit thinner. Yippee!

On an unrelated topic, why do so many give you such crap on the Bossy/WoM blogs? I think you’re a top bloke. Am I missing something?
redvixen says:

01:44pm | 11/11/11

@ Elphaba - On this story you’re suggesting that a grown-up act like a grown-up. On one of the other stories some-one’s suggesting we take person responsibility. Where will all this madness end?
Elphaba says:

01:56pm | 11/11/11

@redvixen, surely there’s enough time left in the day to inject some more madness…
Mahhrat says:

06:04am | 12/11/11

@Elphaba, I’m not sure. I know my own character positives and negatives, so I could run through those, but I’m male, so I’m not particularly good at self-analysis at the best of times

Sometimes I’m deliberately offensive and trolling for fun. I think something I am IRL that bleeds through is somewhat dual-purposed. My beautiful lady knows this and adapts depending on which version of me she wakes up beside.

I know I get very angry at the world, but then I’m fat and lazy, so I’ve probably got nobody to blame but myself, at the end of the day.

One thing I do try and do is get people to think. I’m physically lazy but intellectually active. I try to encourage people to use their brains (and in so doing, use my own). I think a lot of people don’t like being so challenged, particularly by an anonymous face. I dunno.
Elphaba says:

02:49pm | 12/11/11

@Mahhrat, sounds like you’re self-aware of your flaws. That’s rare and a good thing. And I think you’re right, many people don’t like to be challenged.

That WoM blog is a freakshow…
- Tomonoski says:
  
  12:12pm | 11/11/11
  
  Show up wearing a pinwheel hat and a one piece pink lyrca jumpsuit.
  
  Reply
- AdamC says:
  
  12:14pm | 11/11/11
  
  Er, this Puncher seems to be leaping to some conclusions. Actually, my insecurity meter was going haywire while reading this article. Why would someone assume that vanished invitation was necessarily a deliberate statement of their being poor company? Isn’t it just as likely that it was some kind of unintentional snafu?
  
  In any event, I would go to the party if I didn’t have any better offer. What else would you do? Stay home alone with your cat and some DVDs to spite someone for something they may not even have done dliberately?
  
  Reply
Kirsty says:

12:45pm | 11/11/11

I think AdamC has got it right. Take up the offer unless you have something better to do and FB stuffs up all the time so that may be a possibility regarding the missing invite.
- Blind Freddy says:
  
  12:15pm | 11/11/11
  
  If you have to think about it (and ask for anonymous advice) - then no. It’s supposed to be a party, no?
  
  Reply
Jane says:

02:04am | 12/11/11

Indeed. It’s just not worth it then. Parties are supposed to be fun. The person probably should do something else.
- luke09 says:
  
  12:15pm | 11/11/11
  
  Two choices, feel awkward being there with the free food and drinks knowing full well that you were invited, uninvited and re-invited or don’t go and stay at home wondering what you are missing. If not insulted, go.
  
  Reply
- Babe in the Woods says:
  
  12:22pm | 11/11/11
  
  I would go to a party if a real person called me and we spoke. Otherwise just not interested. Anyway, that’s my take.
  
  Reply
redvixen says:

01:52pm | 11/11/11

Hear, hear - but then I’ve never been on Facebook.
- Fiddler says:
  
  12:23pm | 11/11/11
  
  I would go, then take a dump in their closet.
  
  Reply
Elle says:

12:32pm | 11/11/11

^^ This.
Bitten says:

01:33pm | 11/11/11

Ah, a variation on the Dane Cook - someone sh*t on the coats!!!
- nafe says:
  
  12:24pm | 11/11/11
  
  Who cares, Go to the party, eat their food, drink their beer and only talk to your friends. Whats the big deal?
  
  Reply
- Michael says:
  
  12:24pm | 11/11/11
  
  Accept the invite go to the party and be your charming self, be the guest that should have been the first to be invited to every party this person ever holds.
  
  You will have elevated yourself to the status of friend and shown a great example of how a person can carry themselves despite their own fears and insecurities.
  
  Reply
- Tubesteak says:
  
  12:30pm | 11/11/11
  
  1) Is there food at the party?
  2) Is there alcohol at the party?
  
  If the answer to either of the above questions is “yes” then you should go and get a free drink/feed.
  
  That’s my criteria for parties. I get myself full and then leave.
  
  Reply
meh says:

02:16pm | 11/11/11

If the puncher is a female, do you need a date to go with you? I like free food and drink and have no social hangups about inviting myself.
Tubesteak says:

02:58pm | 11/11/11

If he’s male, does he need a wing-man?
meh says:

03:45pm | 11/11/11

When I say ‘date’, I mean platonic friend accompaniment. The wife probably wouldn’t be too happy if I told her I was someones date.

She would understand me going for free food and drink though.
- Shawn Harsh says:
  
  12:34pm | 11/11/11
  
  Is this puncher in high school. FFS!
  
  Reply
- andye says:
  
  12:34pm | 11/11/11
  
  Turn up wearing nothing but a grin holding nothing other than a bottle of lube. Problem solved.
  
  Reply
fml says:

01:06pm | 11/11/11

A trenchcoat with no shoes or socks is also a good look, leaves alot to the imagination.
Sam says:

03:47pm | 11/11/11

“A trenchcoat with no shoes or socks is also a good look”

Not around schools.
- Randal says:
  
  12:35pm | 11/11/11
  
  Without facebook you wouldn’t have half these social awkward cock ups. Yeah it helps you keep in touch blah blah but it has changed things a lot. What if you see a few people going to the party that you can’t stand, or owe money to? You wouldn’t have known in the old days who was going. All this social networking precog creeps me out.
  
  Reply
- esteban says:
  
  12:38pm | 11/11/11
  
  Glass half empty - ” I have been uninvited”
  
  Glass half full - “They have accidently deleted me and reinstated me after uncovering the mistake.”
  
  My self estemm is OK so I don’t believe anyone would deliberately withdraw an invitation to their party. Unless they heard about what happened at that wedding party where they didn’t have light beer but they did have the dance floor.
  
  Anyway what is a wedding without the drunk uncle type busting moves on the dance floor?
  
  Reply
- S.L says:
  
  12:46pm | 11/11/11
  
  Who cares about being invited to anything?
  In my experience nobody RSVPs anymore anyway. I’ve held parties and even though it was a near 100% turn up each time only about 30% RSVP’d!
  
  Reply
Mahhrat says:

01:13pm | 11/11/11

I remember a party my parent’s friends held when I was a kid.

They got RSVPs from like 80 people, and they bought 300 (!!!) pieces of KFC to cater for it.

27 people showed up on the day. Yup, 53 people apparently pulled out either on the day or without even phoning.

I ate an awful lot of chicken that day.
Alicia says:

02:32pm | 11/11/11

@Mahrat - Something similar happened to a work colleague of mine, except it was their wedding. Father-in-law paid for the whole thing and only half the people (or less, I can’t really remember) actually turned up! I could forgive someone not showing up for a party after RSVPing yes, but not a wedding!

@The Puncher - just go. Get a free feed (hopefully) and enjoy yourself.
Colonel Chunder says:

03:20pm | 11/11/11

@ Mahhrat - I’m surprised 27 turned up…...300 pieces of KFC?
- Oliver says:
  
  12:49pm | 11/11/11
  
  Accept the re-invite then pee in the punch. I’m sure your host will appreciate the irony
  
  Reply
- neo says:
  
  01:18pm | 11/11/11
  
  If your friends are there, go with them and have fun.
  
  As for the host, it doesn’t really matter, don’t over think things. If they are an ass to you, avoid them, if they are nice to you, great, maybe you’ve bonded.
  
  Reply
- Darryl Price says:
  
  01:18pm | 11/11/11
  
  Were you reading a cache version of your facebook, then later a refreshed version?
  
  Reply
- telling it like it is says:
  
  01:22pm | 11/11/11
  
  “Socially awkward freaks are better than nobody.”
  
  If I was Shepherd I would go. She will not even get mercy invites often so she better make the most of them.
  
  Maybe take Sharwood as a date. He needs to at least get to one party this decade.
  
  Reply
- Peter says:
  
  01:26pm | 11/11/11
  
  Step 1. Delete your facebook account. Step 2. Go to the party and make real, live human friends.
  
  Reply
Elphaba says:

01:37pm | 11/11/11

Before doing either these steps, understand that not all Facebook users have eleventy hundred virtual friends and no real ones. Nor does Facebook make people socially inept and unable to make friends.
- Bitten says:
  
  01:36pm | 11/11/11
  
  The Puncher definitely should not go to the party. You sound like an utterly insecure twat, so you’ll just bring everybody’s night down.
  
  Reply
- Tanya says:
  
  01:39pm | 11/11/11
  
  As soon as the party invitation vanished and the puncher confirmed the party was still on, they should’ve immediately distributed an invitation to a bigger and better event with a funky e-invite depicting bands and balloons and fireworks to everybody on the acquaintance’s FB list. Too late for that though – if you haven’t got a better offer, show up wearing something that makes you look like a dead set creep and hit on the host’s relatives. Try to sell Amway to anybody who approaches you.
  
  Reply
- C1 says:
  
  01:59pm | 11/11/11
  
  Can we go back to talking about the Carbon tax????
  
  Reply
- Shenanigans says:
  
  02:42pm | 11/11/11
  
  This puncher needs a kick up the butt. Who the hell overreacts to shit like that? It’s fb ffs. if it was a close friend who did it, then yeah sure would probably be all like ‘dubyateeef mate’ but it was a person you’ve met once, oh noes what ever will you do!
  I’d go tbh, free food, free drinks, potential of a zombie outbreak, and friends.
  
  if all else fails. Keep calm and chive on
  
  Reply
Seanr says:

03:05pm | 11/11/11

Insert *What would Bill Murray do in this instance?* thought ....Chive on…
- Virginia Walters says:
  
  02:52pm | 11/11/11
  
  lol…facebook destroying friendships since (fill in year here)......lol…..oh, its that whole miscommunication and internet thing!!!! You know what?... the person just probably changed the original details, cancelled the invitations then sent out a new one….nothing more to it, you were invited all along and had you not noticed that small window of time that the invitation wasn’t there then you wouldnt have been any the wiser…just go have fun and who cares who did what or what COULD have been…..you were invited TWICE.. chosen TWICE….is the cup half full or half empty?
  
  Reply
- MAF1970 says:
  
  03:15pm | 11/11/11
  
  Obviously this exact same scenario plays out with 1.3 million people every Saturday night and all 1.3 million of those poor “invited then uninvited then invited again” souls choose not to go to the party.
  How else can the ABC explain such high ratings for Doc Martin on a Saturday night….................
  
  Reply
- NESLIHAN KUROSAWA says:
  
  10:41pm | 11/11/11
  
  Hi Punch Team,
  
  Why do not we all assume that you all got invited, because you are all well known around the globe!! Even if some of you got invited at the last minute!! To be seen with the Punch Team would certainly make my day, even though I am not much of a party person myself. Talking about being two faced, unfortunately, there are many with more faces than the Town Hall Clock as some might actually say. Only joking!!
  
  I am not sure how you all feel about going, but you should do all these poor souls a favor by turning up & make their day at the same time. My theory would be the saying “kill them with your kindness”!! I certainly look forward to hearing a little bit gossip about the party, you might actually manage to bring some kind excitement to the actual night. Best regards to your editors.
  
  Reply
- Gary Cox says:
  
  06:01am | 12/11/11
  
  The puncher shouldn’t go. I’m not into Facebook so I don’t know how their invite system does or doesn’t work. But over the years their have been instances where an invite for a party will go round and I don’t get one. Then I’ll run into the host and they’ll say to me you might as well come too. I don’t go. If it’s an afterthought I’m not Interested. Sometimes you’re better off being elusive anyway. It’s a bit like that episode of Seinfeld where George always leaves the crowd wanting more
  
  Reply
- zel says:
  
  05:45pm | 12/11/11
  
  do you want to go to the party? yes? then go. no? then shut up.
  
  Reply

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Friday dilemma: Should I snub the two-faced host?

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hot tub political machine says:

KH says:

dancan says:

Tim says:

RyaN says:

Bazza says:

Elphaba says:

Stoned Pigeon says:

Mahhrat says:

Elphaba says:

Mahhrat says:

Elphaba says:

redvixen says:

Elphaba says:

Mahhrat says:

Elphaba says:

Tomonoski says:

AdamC says:

Kirsty says:

Blind Freddy says:

Jane says:

luke09 says:

Babe in the Woods says:

redvixen says:

Fiddler says:

Elle says:

Bitten says:

nafe says:

Michael says:

Tubesteak says:

meh says:

Tubesteak says:

meh says:

Shawn Harsh says:

andye says:

fml says:

Sam says:

Randal says:

esteban says:

S.L says:

Mahhrat says:

Alicia says:

Colonel Chunder says:

Oliver says:

neo says:

Darryl Price says:

telling it like it is says:

Peter says:

Elphaba says:

Bitten says:

Tanya says:

C1 says:

Shenanigans says:

Seanr says:

Virginia Walters says:

MAF1970 says:

NESLIHAN KUROSAWA says:

Gary Cox says:

zel says:

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