With apologies to the venerable Hillary Clinton, whose plea to treat women with dignity has enjoyed a clear run atop this website for six hours, we now move to a lesser but no less impassioned issue.

Picture taken on Ant's Blackberry… which the birds tried to eat.

The Australian White Ibis, better known as “Bic Macus Scabicus” or “that stupid ugly thing stealing my sandwich! Shoo! Shoo!” is a much-maligned species.

But does it deserve our derision? Does it warrant being chased across city parks by office workers with umbrellas? Or has it earned the right for a tiny slice of the affection we automatically bestow upon kookaburras, rosellas, ducklings and the Minogue sisters? That, friends, is today’s dilemma.

Ibises haven’t always dwelled in our cities. According to the expensive leather-bound encyclopaedias on The Punch’s book case, which just happen to correspond exactly with what Wikipedia says, Ibises only migrated to urban areas in the 1970s.

Some say they headed for the Big Smoke as their traditional wetland areas came under threat.

We’ve got another theory. The 1970s just happens to be the decade when McDonald’s commenced its relentless march across the Australian landscape. That proved too much of a temptation for old Ibie. As the photo above shows, they just love the stuff.

In the movie Super Size Me, Morgan Spurlock reported that he started reeking after his month eating Maccas. The Australian white ibis is an extremely stinky bird too, according to our gold-embossed reference library. It also honks like a drunk horny goose and has filthy, ruffled feathers.

Truly, the ibis is the bird God made during a toilet break.

Having said all of that, it is a bird not without elegance and charm. Some call them “tip turkeys”. We prefer to think of them as graceful swans down on their luck. If we can muster sympathy for scruff balls like Lindsay Lohan, surely we can find a little love for old Big Macus Scabicus.

No?

Most commented

52 comments

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    • Mahhrat says:

      12:21pm | 09/12/11

      The only important question is:  Do they taste like chicken?

    • dancan says:

      12:35pm | 09/12/11

      Chicken Mcnuggets

    • nihonin says:

      12:46pm | 09/12/11

      Yeah imagine the drumsticks on those babies!

    • subotic says:

      12:59pm | 09/12/11

      They taste a bit like dog actually….

    • marley says:

      01:18pm | 09/12/11

      Well, if it’s true that “you are what you eat”, and they eat Maccas, I’m going to guess they taste of wet cardboard (with pickles).

    • Kika says:

      04:40pm | 09/12/11

      I have heard of a story of a certain foreign restaurant known for their strange taste in food chopping these up and serving them to customers as chicken were fined by the Council here in Brisbane… I don’t know whether it’s true but the person who passed on the information is a reliable source…

    • Ibis hater says:

      12:26pm | 09/12/11

      A white Ibis ate the fish in my pond.

    • Sarah says:

      12:31pm | 09/12/11

      These disgusting disease ridden buggars. I hate them. It reminds me of that scene in Ace Ventura 2 when Ace is told that the sacred animal he has to recover for the Watutchi tribe is a white bat and he freaks out. You’d think he was talking about an Ibis. That scene is Apt.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfXjTfQDj-k&feature=related

      I’ve even had one try and steal a lit cigarette from my hand before, on a break at work in the CBD,

    • JD says:

      01:00pm | 09/12/11

      They can’t help what they were born as. I think you are disgusting for smoking and polluting their habitat.

    • Sarah says:

      01:06pm | 09/12/11

      LMAO @JD

      I can’t help but hope that you’re not serious mate! - Polluting THEIR habitat?? Ha ha ha

    • dancan says:

      01:09pm | 09/12/11

      Actually because as Ant said, the Ibis moved into cities in the 1970’s.  So I suppose they’re encroaching in OUR habitat

    • Quailie says:

      01:32pm | 09/12/11

      Can we kick out the humans and have an ibis city? Humans=koalas, foul chlamydia spreading monsters. And unless you go around eating ibis shit, I suggest you won’t catch anything from them. More like the other way around.

    • TimB says:

      01:50pm | 09/12/11

      lol cigarettes.

      Back when I was a kid, we used to have picnics in the beachside parks. We’d get eyed by mobs of seagulls craving our hot chips. So I used to pick up old cigarette butts and toss them at the gulls. They’d flap after them excitedly assuming they were being gifted food scraps, only to realise a few seconds later that they’d been tricked.

      Stupid birds.

    • fairsfair says:

      02:37pm | 09/12/11

      ...nobody said anything about a Bat…

    • Mattb says:

      03:17pm | 09/12/11

      Ahh, conservatives eh, such a tolerant bunch. Can’t even find a kind word to say about a harmless native bird.

      TimB
      You know what they say about deranged lunatics right. The first sign of a deranged lunatic is a facination with animal cruelty as a child….

    • Saddened says:

      03:42pm | 09/12/11

      You people and your opinion that the place “belongs” to humans make me sick.

    • TimB says:

      05:20pm | 09/12/11

      Oh lighten up Matt. It’s about as “cruel” as teasing a cat with a piece of string.

      They weren’t hurt, they wern’t in any way distressed. They just ended up being foolish.

      A bit like you now I think about it.

    • Mattb says:

      07:58pm | 09/12/11

      Haha, I knew you’d bite back to that one Timmy….

    • gobsmack says:

      12:32pm | 09/12/11

      We don’t have the ugly things in Melbourne [/snobbish snort].

    • Cynicised says:

      12:43pm | 10/12/11

      Oh contraire!  We certainly do have them here. Visit your local tip some time soon. They’ve displaced seagulls as the most numerous species which subsist on garbage. Ugly as hell,I agree and rather scary, but I have sneaking admiration for their adaptability.
      I bet they do taste like chicken Mcnuggets haha!

    • marley says:

      12:44pm | 09/12/11

      Where I live, they’re in their native habitat.  Wetlands.  They don’t bother anyone, and they make a nice change from moorhens - now those are ugly, annoying, messy birds.

    • ibast says:

      12:52pm | 09/12/11

      Sorry I can’t muster sympathy.  In the same class as Pigeons, Indian mynas and Sea gulls. Filthy disease propagators.

      Funnel Webs have more validity.

    • Quailie says:

      01:33pm | 09/12/11

      In that case, they should be in the same class as humans.

    • nihonin says:

      02:47pm | 09/12/11

      OMG its the sub human species the Quailie

    • Charlie says:

      01:02pm | 09/12/11

      Why can’t we export them? Sydney Fried Ibis? Ibis au beer or Ibis au vin?

    • ibast says:

      02:54pm | 09/12/11

      From the way they smell, I’m betting they are unpalatable.  I’d also wager they would carry some disease that could never be boiled away.

    • acotrel says:

      02:08am | 10/12/11

      I’ll bet that Hume & Hovell would have just loved a slice of Ibis pie, when they were starving on their expedition.

    • Interested observer says:

      01:05pm | 09/12/11

      I drive past flocks of ibises foraging through the low lying paddocks and consider them a beautiful adornment to the landscape. I had never seen an ibis in a city environment and can well believe they are unwelcome scavengers. Everything in its own place!  I doubt that ibis rate at the same level as crows as far as nuisances.

    • S.L says:

      01:15pm | 09/12/11

      Can they be taught to get rid of Indian Minor birds?

    • Simon says:

      01:19pm | 09/12/11

      if they steal your maccas they’d be doing you a favour but i suspect that giving them your maccas could amount to animal cruelty. oh well, ibis sandwich anyone ?

    • JS says:

      01:22pm | 09/12/11

      Bin scabs

    • Dave says:

      01:27pm | 09/12/11

      I quite like them. The ones that live around my place are a nice bright white colour. THe real problem is you city folk just dont keep em clean or feed em properly. They do make a noise when they honk though. Better than peacocks, anyway…

    • Damn those pesky birds they stole my ciggie says:

      01:42pm | 09/12/11

      What are we proud of in Australia - the abilty to make a go of it regardless of circumstance and the ability to then thrive a few years later.

      The ibis should be the national bird. I love you guys and the Maggies and the Currawong and all birds.

      To those calling them filthy disease carriers, speak for youselves! You carry the black plague among other things, stop being an arrogant human and start being part of the beautiful and amazing system of life that surrounds us all.

    • NigelC says:

      01:43pm | 09/12/11

      Ibises or Ibi? Four and Twenty Ibi baked in a pie ...

    • Anthony Sharwood

      Anthony Sharwood says:

      03:44pm | 09/12/11

      When they fly by it’s an ibii flyby!

    • Elli says:

      01:51pm | 09/12/11

      I have always loved the silhouette that a flock of ibis flying overhead makes with those long beaks. Unmistakable!

    • Jade says:

      02:22pm | 09/12/11

      They eat baby cane toads. I like the things… even if they are scabs! But then so are crows smile

    • Dan Webster says:

      02:25pm | 09/12/11

      Ibis are cool because they don’t give a S_ _ _.

      I saw a Ibis at Dreamworld running along (being chased by other Ibis) with a red, foot long, hot dog sausage hanging out of it’s beak (swinging back and forth as it ran), It looked like it had a big tongue and it cracked me up.

      I haven’t seen any of our other birds try to entertain like the Ibis does (maybe seagulls but they come across as a bit stupid).

      Ibis are so cool they could own the internet (even more than cats do) but as I said Ibis don’t give a S_ _ _, so they don’t bother.

    • Alf says:

      02:37pm | 09/12/11

      They are the Peter Slipper of birdlife.

    • Frank says:

      02:40pm | 09/12/11

      LOL Ant Hillary is back on top buddy hahahaaaa

    • Anthony Sharwood

      Anthony Sharwood says:

      03:46pm | 09/12/11

      Yeah, we actually never meant to put this at the top despite the first line. Was only there for a few mins

    • iansand says:

      03:04pm | 09/12/11

      What I don’t understand is why, given their diets, they are not plummeting from the sky in their millions after suffering coronaries.

    • Dave says:

      04:26pm | 09/12/11

      Who said that we muster sympathy for scruff balls like Lindsay Lohan?

    • Kika says:

      04:41pm | 09/12/11

      Ibis (or Ibi as we call them - like Platypi) are our team mascot. We love the dirty little things. It’s not their fault. They are natural scavangers and we’ve taken away their natural habitat. They’ve resorted to scumming from us.

    • Amy says:

      06:20pm | 09/12/11

      The ibi (?) in Perth are lovely and white and don’t smell (although they will completely empty a backyard pond of goldfish!). Don’t know about the other states but we’d be happy to swap your Ibisses (?) for some of our mine cashed up bogans. They also eat lots of Maccas… you’ll hardly know the difference.

    • Rachel d says:

      09:11pm | 09/12/11

      Dump chooks smile

    • jnomanh says:

      03:15am | 10/12/11

      Where I live, Can they be taught to get rid of Indian Minor birds?

    • holden says:

      12:54pm | 10/12/11

      I’m a real Australian, and I think we should shoot them all so as to give the homeless kids a better crack at the contents of the dump-trucks and rubbish bins. The starving street kids are more important, and it is not fair that we attach more importance to a bird over the Nation’s children.
      And for the uneducated among you, the plural of “Ibis” is
      “Thousands of the bastards!”.

    • marley says:

      04:07pm | 10/12/11

      I think everyone should show a bit more respect for the Ibis.  After all, the ibis-headed Egyptian god Thoth got to sit in judgement on the dead.  How will you feel if one of these guys is at your bedside with a notebook listing all the cigarette ends and lousy burgers you fed him?

    • DragonLass says:

      06:55pm | 10/12/11

      Well if people didn’t litter, then they wouldn’t be so prevalent in cities.  Their mass numbers are a direct by-product of the general filth that exists in cities. (just like rats)

      They are also a fantastic example of evolution in action.  With their fantastic long beaks they have adapted so well to a city existence.  Their ability to get their beaks into rubbish bins and the like to find food are a wonderful adaptation.  Really, I take my hat off to them. 

      And at least they are native, unlike pigeons or indian mynahs.

    • Mark says:

      08:44pm | 10/12/11

      Well if it was not for humans overpopulating they would be able to live naturally but as humans are intruding on the enviroment what do you expect them to do, everything else has houses on it or has been cultivated (and I live in a rural area).

 

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