With smartphones finding their way into nearly every pocket in the developed world, it’s easy to forget that film was once a precious commodity in many households.

The tiny Tins. Why does every family have a photo of kids in matching gear?

Mine was no exception, as evidenced by the sheer number of botched photos that remain framed and prominently displayed in my parents’ home.

Today, just about every dad walks around with an enormous DSLR surgically grafted to his right forearm, casually snapping Tumblr-worthy masterpieces at junior footy matches. Even the icy scowl of a hormone-ravaged adolescent can shine with indie majesty given the right light and a lucky shot.

Almost every expression in our childhood photos, however, was strained as a result of mum trying her best to not waste film and get that “perfect shot” - before partially covering the lens with her thumb.

In at least 70 per cent of Tin family photos, at least one person is glaring and/or mouthing “just take the damn photo”. About 45 per cent of them feature the exact same pair of frayed lounge-room curtains in the background, while 13 per cent sported an index finger or sleeve.

Taking “natural”, “spontaneous” snaps was deemed expensive, indulgent and out of the question at our house, where highly-posed photos lined the tops of filing cabinets and leaned against wooden Masai warriors.

“Michael! Sit next to your big brother on that camel! Smile. Hey! I said smile! No! Stop laughing. Don’t frown! Nobody cares that you’re wearing matching outfits. Sit still!” And by the time the button was pressed, everybody would be frowning, squinting against the glare and terrified of the camel beneath them.

There’s an outtake at the end of some action movie where Jackie Chan - who spent much of his early life working with minuscule Hong Kong budgets - scolds his American co-stars for joking around and “wasting film”. That was pretty much my parents throughout the nineties.

The difference, of course, is that Jackie Chan never made people wear matching outfits.

Dodgy snaps also served another, crucial purpose. They tend to prove we weren’t the well-behaved cherubs we like to tell colleagues and distant relatives with unruly children.

They’re indisputable evidence of the fact that we - being the horrors we were - couldn’t even sit still for the time it took for a flash to illuminate our grubby, ungrateful little faces.

They’re science’s gift to parents, who gleefully whip them out at various occasions as an effective way of saying: “Look at this little fellow heartily shovelling a delicious blend of sand and green ants into his mouth. Were it not for us, he’d be gnawing at discarded chicken bones outside a KFC like some sort of sweaty, roaming Danny DeVito.”

Now, however, when I look back at those photos, I see what my parents were really trying to achieve.

They wanted to capture us at our best and strongest, together as a family. They snarled and snapped so that when kids were being chased with wooden spoons or yelling at each other in the lounge over a game of Battleships, those pictures - those images of temporary unity, fleeting solidarity and feigned sanity - would be there at the edge of our vision.

These wonky memories of family are endearing and charming in a way even the most perfectly composed picture can never be.

Families are tales of survival, not perfection. They are matching outfits, mistimed snaps, gritted teeth and smiles and furrowed brows. Sometimes, a carefully-staged, painfully-crafted, insanely-awkward monstrosity is the best way to capture that

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    • adam says:

      07:06am | 25/08/11

      I always tried to squirm around long enough for all sides of the flash cube to be used up thereby ending the torture.
      It often resulted in a sudden onset of bright lights, a loud ringing in one of my ears and the old man snarling about getting another one if I din’t do what mum said.

      Great days (I have no idea about smilie faces, but I am serious, great days)

    • Spikey says:

      07:12am | 25/08/11

      Great article!  I recently found an old family snap of myself and two of my younger sisters in matching sailor style dresses…scary mostly for the fact that I was actually 10 years older than them and was around 15 in the photo!!  It spoke volumes of my compliant nature and willingness to please Mum.  More telling was the absence of our other sister - who was 18 months younger than me and no doubt refused the dorky matching dress! 

      My own four daughters provided plenty of wonderful matched outfit fun and opportunity for me..  But the eldest is 16 now and refused to comply anymore when she was about 10 - now those wonderful matching outfit photos are groan material for all of them. Awesome.

    • Shane says:

      07:28am | 25/08/11

      At least you have family photos Jason.  We don’t have many in my family.  Not to say that we were an unhappy lot.  We just forgot to take the camera…. anywhere. 

      One of the children won a sporting event?  Too busy clapping to take a photo.  At a birthday party and your 5 year old is about to blow out the candles?  Too busy slapping grabby hands away from the cake to take a photo.  At the beach with the family for a holiday?  Too busy trying to get sand out of your nether regions to take a photo.

      Although to be fair I generally tell people that my parents just got bored after a couple of years when they realised I wasn’t as cute and innocent as they thought I’d be.  If told under the right circumstances, I get a free schooner out of it.

    • iansand says:

      09:04am | 25/08/11

      I am a third child.  No photos of me.  Plenty of the prima donna eldest sister.  Bitter?  Moi?

    • fairsfair says:

      09:33am | 25/08/11

      lol - exactly the same here iansand. Sister - formal baby album, Brother, half finished regular album, me - one wallet of developed photos now stuck together in the top cupboard.

      LOL, I’ll let mum know that she is not the only one.

    • rach says:

      10:43am | 25/08/11

      Haha, absolutely in the same boat. I’m the youngest of 4. My oldest brother; full baby album, locks of hair, records of first words, that sort of thing. My second oldest; mostly complete baby album. By the time it got to me, almost nothing. Now I look back and think poor mum…4 kids would be a nightmare!

    • Bec says:

      03:02pm | 01/09/11

      Spare a thought for my baby sister the youngest of seven…

      Not really any photos of her until she got old enough to take them herself.

    • Aphrodite says:

      09:15am | 25/08/11

      Love the photo tiny Tin photo… you were adorable…!!! I have a similar photo with my baby brother where we both look like dorks and it has been displaced proudly in the family room… <shudder>
      Good times though…:)

    • Huey says:

      09:31am | 25/08/11

      Good article Jason.

    • fairsfair says:

      09:34am | 25/08/11

      Random question Jason, was that photo taken at SugarWorld?

    • Jason Tin says:

      09:55am | 25/08/11

      Hmm.. Palm Cove I think fairs.. But I could be wrong. Although, I did have some great times at SugarWorld - until they’d make everyone sit out for 10 mins with the other renegades who dared try and stand in the Banana Bender!

    • JJJ says:

      10:07am | 25/08/11

      Sounds like a sweeet place.

    • fairsfair says:

      10:35am | 25/08/11

      It was a sweeeeet place!

      Jason, I must admit, I have a very similar photo. Though we are not dressed the same, I am up front smiling and my older brother is bawling his eyes out on the back there…. He was wearing a flap hat though, so maybe crying because of that…

      I think there were camels at Palm Cove (or maybe Port Douglas?) for a while. The growth pattern of the grass is indicative of a sandy sub soil. The previously farmed land of SugarWorld generated thicker coverage wink

      There were definately at SugarWorld for a while - Man I loved that place…. Big man there standing up on the Banana Bender! Only true heroes attempted that. The biggest of the big went sans mat. I was all for the “Cyclone” because it meandered to almost stop at the bottom and you daintily fell into the pool below without losing your togs. Ah, those were the days!

      I got attacked by a peacock in 1996 and have never returned.

    • rach says:

      10:47am | 25/08/11

      Omg SugarWorld! My family was notorious for blocking the slides. There were 4 of us, so we’d unite to make super-mega-awesome blockages. It’s a wonder no one drowned…

      We used to get banned from one half, but we’d sneak around to the other half and eventually get banned from it too. Mum used to get so angry. “Why can’t you lot be like all the other kids?” she’d say. Ah good times…

    • fairsfair says:

      11:03am | 25/08/11

      lol.

      And in all the excitement you would inevitably stack it climing the hill and leave with super mega grav rash that was repeatedly washed with chlorinated water. Always slept well that night.

      They built a Coles there now.

    • Alicia says:

      12:52pm | 25/08/11

      I loved SugarWorld too. Until someone told me that people put razor blades in the slides and I got paranoid thinking I’d come out all cut up!

    • Ginganinja says:

      06:26pm | 25/08/11

      Just an update.  They haven’t build a Coles there..Its actually up the road next to it where there used to be cane.  They are renovating the slides though.  When I went past there in June they had dismantled them.  (something about non compliance raspberry)

    • fairsfair says:

      10:37am | 26/08/11

      They have built the Coles where all the animals used to be. The animals left in the 1990s some time…

      Yep, giant enginering fail after twenty odd years of salty air - so they are rebuilding the slides in a completely different fashion. Much to everyone’s disgust - because it won’t be sugarworld without those four average waterslides!

      You can’t stop progress I suppose. Thankfully we all have those sh*tty childhood photos to remember wink

    • Ginganinja says:

      02:07pm | 02/09/11

      Ha ha and the scars from riding down those slides.

    • AFR says:

      11:50am | 25/08/11

      I think the main difference between those days and now was the having to wait for the photos from the shop. My tight-arse parents would make sure all 36 photos were used in the “filim” before sending it of to be processed in the mail. This would mean it could be months before we saw the photos. Nowadays my 3 yo Niece insists on seeing the photo of her the second it is taken, and will insist on a re-shoot if she doesn’t like it. Kids these days…

    • Cat says:

      12:56pm | 26/08/11

      I erecently uploaded a childhoods worth of photos, all carefully removed from albums and frames, scanned and tagged and labled…my mother and I spent a good hours laughing our heads off at how awfully posed they are. We lost the ability to breathe when we came to the one where she’d decided the way to capture our newly built pool (what a bastion of middle class, suburban pride!) and still have her children looking clean and respectable was to put the dingy IN the pool and sit us all in it - she even had me hold a fishing rod to pretend I was fishing…utterly priceless!

    • Miriam says:

      08:17am | 08/02/12

      This is a very cute and innepexsive idea for a mini.  Plus we recycle those old CD’s!!  Thanks so much for the idea.

 

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