Canberra’s got nothing on Christmas politics

All effed up says:

07:04am | 22/12/12

“I’ve just got time to incubate something before I have to go that bullshit. This year I’ve had just about as much family as I can stand and a couple in particular are just a bloody disgrace,”

I can, and many more will probably understand your predicament.  You incubate much sarcasm and disease as possible on these forums.  No wonder they see you as “different” and why you decided to live in the bush. 

Seeking sympathy?  Not from here! 

PS   Merry Christmas to Colin.

marley says:

07:30am | 22/12/12

@acotrel - if it’s that bad, just take your wife and head for some little cottage or cabin in the opposite direction from the madding crowds.  And makes sure there are no telephones.  Have your own private party and deal with the rellies in the New Year.

Still Missing My Grandfather Muchly says:

09:00am | 22/12/12

I did that once….albeit I pretended to be camping on Straddie Island as opposed to pretending to be overseas. I was a lot younger and didn’t know how to handle the ensuing situation, so decided that “I was going camping with friends”.

It was 1997 and the second Christmas without my wonderful grandfather, who passed away mid 1995. He and I were extremely close, and as it stands, I still consider him to be the only person in my family who’s ever fully understood me.

Christmas 1996 was unbearable without him, and I wept silently the whole time I wasn’t in sight of the family - and even then, I kept mysteriously getting ‘dust’ in my eyes.  Of course, my parents went along as if nothing was amiss, not even acknowledging ‘absent friends’ so to speak. This made things worse, and when I tried to speak up, I got spoken over as per ususal by my ego-endowed older brother.

Roll along 1997, and I decided that I would not endure that ever again (actually it wasn’t a choice - I simply had no strength to face it). So at home I stayed, with my flat-mate (who was also avoiding her family), we had our own little ‘Christmas Feast’ and watched tragic Christmas cartoons and over indulged in Malteesers. I phoned my family “from Stradbroke Island” where I was supposedly camping with friends.

The next year and thereafter, I was married and had the support of the most wonderful man who would not put up with any rubbish and forced all to at least acknowledge my grandparents absence. That seemed to break the ice and things have been great since.

Gregg says:

09:14am | 22/12/12

I suppose being related to Hoover is not so bad and even Edgar can be a good lad at the right moment but I can understand your tepidation when half brother Grimm announces his intent.

” ’ know people who have pretended to be overseas, choosing to hide out in their apartment with some leg ham and bad Christmas movies rather than endure the hurt feelings of one or more sides of the family.’ “
You missed the gift there from the porkers mouth ( not you CC but the ham porker )
All you need is a letter from a distant rellie on how they have not been so well of late and will be alone for Xmas unless you care to visit.
Just leave it on the table with your own addition - ” see you all after NY ”

pa_kelvin says:

10:02am | 22/12/12

acotrel dont do Christmas… hardly surprising..

dweezy 2176 says:

02:06pm | 22/12/12

Give Craig a call. He’ll have a spare credit card you can use & all the phone numbers you’ll need!
Merry Xmas ............

Rod Mac says:

09:16am | 22/12/12

Onlooker, your message is what Christmas is all about. The article assumes a certain self-centredness whereas you rightly remind us of the true meaning of Christmas: rejoicing in the love of family.

Gregg says:

09:31am | 22/12/12

I remember a few of our Xmases where my bro by a bit over two years would start to go on about politics and I suppose he was always more a confirmed Labor bod whereas my work experiences had me more of a swinger but just so we had sides, I’d probably swing Liberal way even though I really had SFA interest in politics.
Discussions would continue so for a while with little bits added here and there by others until my mum would reckon I was just baiting big bro ( which I wasn’t off course or not that I was really thinking that way )

It was a timely point for the family to realise that mum’s calim to fame was that she had once been a baby sitter for Bob Hawke even if she was only a few years older ( both born in Bordertown ).
So someone might chime in, ” pity you hadn’t dropped him on his head a few times “
That was when you had to get in real quick with ” That’s his problem, mum did and it was more than a few times! “

Christmases are much quieter these days and last year I had to actually go travelling ( well, more an enforced need than desperate necessity ) to finsish off a whole heap of retoration activities including over Xmas day itself and boxing day, doing some septic tank trenching work by hand - long story!
This one ought to be more layback ( touch wood ) and one side of the family is on the opposite side of the planet, an older MIL to be concerned about, one daughter based in Singapore and another possibly visiting her with her own daughter but for the past fifteen years or so, all Xmases have usually been on the quiet side with just two of us and two hounds and the beach not far away.
Checking in with some local friends for this year.

But you have a good Xmas too Onlooker and even without family about, it can still be a lovely time and these days it seems an interminable wait for the Boxing Day test to start and then a flick over for the Sydney Hobart start.

Marty says:

10:02am | 22/12/12

Hi Onlooker
Merry Christmas to you and your son.
Best wishes from, Marty, Leonie and Bob the dog.

Our Labrador looks cute when dressed as a Christma says:

01:58pm | 22/12/12

We started our married life with something similar, but one set of our parents decided that their side of the family deserved all Christmas Eve, Christmas Day AND Boxing Day because another member of that family had 11 children….and the other side of the family one had two brothers and two children to visit.

They didn’t quite get that there were older members such as grandparents, aunts & uncles and long-standing family friends belonging to the other side, who were just as important and who we were excited to visit.

The 11-and-counting childed family’s response was “Christmas is only about ‘THE CHILDREN’”.

(Cue…“won’t SOMEBODY please THINK of the CHIILLLDDREEEEN!”).

Those kids were the most self-indulged, greedy, ungrateful, spoilt and rude crotch-droppings we’d ever come across. The six year old actually questioned the value (as in cost) of his Christmas gift, and complained that we should have spent more. Yes, a six year old asked us why we did not spend more on him.  Rarely, if ever, was a ‘thank-you’ heard from any of the kid’s mouths. The father of that brood also hinted that we could afford more on HIS kids because both of us worked (so we should be able to spend more on individual presents). Alas, he & his wife were always “too poor” to even buy a box of chocolates for the grandmother of that family. 

So the following year, those kids got three board-games the whole family could use, and donations were made on their behalf to the RSPCA, Red Cross, and Cancer Council.

From then on, we had a yearly approach to Christmas, insofar we spent Christmas and Boxing Day with one side of the family one year, and the other side of the family the next year, and the third year we had it only with each other.

Best thing we ever did.

Thanks to everyone at Punch for your articles, perspectives & thoughts, and to everyone who has provided input in response. The columns and comments have provided a thought-provoking and interesting read.

Merry Christmas all, and have a safe, healthy, happy 2013. xxx

Rose says:

03:34pm | 22/12/12

You’d be within your rights to tell the parents of the dreaded 11 that they can go jump until they teach their kids manners. As a mum of 6 I have always told my kids that just because there are more of them than in most families doesn’t mean they should expect more. I have also told them Christmas is definitely NOT about the children, it’s about the family, adults and kids equally. Sure most of the presents are child friendly but Christmas is supposed to be about families getting together and enjoying time with each other, not about who coughs up the most cash on stuff which may or may not be used. My kids used to get the biggest thrill receiving presents that they could play together, not individual solo toys. Probably because they seem to genuinely like spending time together, even now they often seek each other out to do things together and they’re adults.
We have been very rigid in sticking to our Christmas roster for about 20 years. Every now and then some one makes a noise about swapping the days around but we just say, “this is how we do it, it works for our family and it will stay like this” or similar. They give up trying fairly quickly because our whole family (me, hubby and kids) is absolutely united on the Christmas ‘roster’. So maybe that’s the secret, make sure nobody shows any sign of weakness when questioned about it

Geronimo says:

09:23am | 22/12/12

Roses are Reddish, Violets are Bluish, if it weren’t for Christmas we’d all be Jewish. Old Jungle Saying.

knowall says:

02:40pm | 22/12/12

Temporary lobotomy is an oxymoron.

stephen says:

03:59pm | 22/12/12

Craig Thompson and lobotomy is tautology.
Craig Thompson and temporary lobotomy is oxymoron.

Therefore, what will be, will be.

Gregg says:

09:34am | 22/12/12

Try Craigs List.

Mik says:

03:06pm | 22/12/12

Our ages will range from from 3 months to 90 years and some are strays. Don’t really know how many we’ll end up with but it doesn’t matter because there is always too much food anyway. There’s trees in the garden and sleeping bags for those who’ve over indulged or need time out. Don’t get wrapped up in the doing one’s duty thing, reles know they can come or go or stay away.
Stingoes,  bandaids and panadol are a must.

Rose says:

03:40pm | 22/12/12

Family and friends is what Christmas is about, not presents and keeping up appearances or any other crap. A friend of ours lost his dad earlier this year and is celebrating without him for the first time…...the rest of us should be grateful we have family and friends to share the time with, as you say, others aren’t so fortunate.
Merry Christmas to you and to your welcoming Greek ‘family’.