The picture is seared in the mind’s eye: a moment that cut a beautiful young woman, heavily pregnant with a baby boy, to shreds.

A late-night knock at the door revealed two uniformed soldiers, the bearers of the news that her husband, Lance Corporal Jared MacKinney, had been killed in a war zone a few hours before.
His bride was shattered. With one sentence, Beckie MacKinney’s world careened off its axis. I know this because I have the privilege of knowing this brave, fragile, amazing woman. And although two weeks have passed since that terrible night, the feeling of helplessness as her friend refuses to loosen its grip.
I have known Beckie since she was small. The youngest child of my next-door neighbours, she was a regular visitor to my home, helping with my babies, playing with them as they grew and teaching them the ways of childhood. She featured large in their world as an older girl who took the time to play and became their regular babysitter.
I have always loved Beckie’s gumption. She is strong and definite but has a heart as big and soft as all the clouds in the sky. It is a combination I have developed a deep admiration for, particularly in these past weeks. She is, she feels, and she is honest about whatever that is.
In the past fortnight, there have been teary moments where I have felt I am the one learning from this broken-hearted widow who is a generation younger. Her love for Jared is complete. She is shattered and yet determined to give her man the fine, respectful farewell he deserves.
With the imminent birth of their baby boy, and a lively tot with an extra need for cuddles at her side, her focus is doubly inspiring. That she has been unable to speak publicly of her loss is understandable.
Last Friday, Beckie laid her beloved young husband to rest. The multitude of military and procedural formalities that have followed his death on the battlefield came to an end. Just hours later their son was born.
And as rumbles about the part Australia and her allies play in Afghanistan become more audible, Beckie could not be more sure that the cause he fought for, defended and gave his life for is noble and just.
Australia must stay until Afghanistan has learnt to help itself, she has told me. Australia must stay until its job is done, until Afghanistan has the training and the abilities to take on its foes on its own.
Australia must stay or Jared will have died fighting for something that will never be. And that would break her heart all over again.
As a grieving, pregnant young mum, Beckie’s thoughts on this carry more weight than all the armchair experts and bookish academics. She knows these things, even though her broken heart must be screaming, because the world has taught her tough lessons.
Compared to others, Beckie and Jared fell in love, married and became parents at a young age. But in their youth was wisdom, because even though they did not know it, they had to live a lifetime in a handful of years. And brief as that time was, they also had to endure more time apart than most. Such is life when you love someone in Defence.
As social standards go, Jared was a good bloke. He worked hard, paid his own way, loved his wife and child, was courteous, fun and spirited. And a big part of him, more than just a job or profession, was a soldier. He had served in East Timor, Iraq and on another tour in Afghanistan.
Jared spoke of the tasks he was asked to complete in places he had to leave his beautiful family for as essential, important and right. He was not going to war so that Australia and Australians might gain something tangible, but he certainly went to war on behalf of those of us who believe that we are all in this world together and must look after each other’s rights to survival, peace and security.
Being part of the solution to Afghanistan’s problems gave Jared immense satisfaction.
As the nation’s 21st soldier killed in action in Afghanistan, Jared MacKinney’s name has a sad place in history as having died bravely and too young for a national cause.
But for his darling wife Beckie, he will always be the love of her life, her soulmate, the father of a fair-haired princess and a soon-to-be born prince.
We should all be grateful that he lived. May he rest in peace.
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