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A one woman war against after-school activities

Wendy Tuohy

by Wendy Tuohy

07 Feb 05:45am

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Filed under: Parenting, School, Sport

38 comments

There is an industry so insidious, so clever, so cunningly insecurity-inducing that as a mother you have to fight with all you’ve got to save yourself from its choking grip.

Nup, that's it. No more kiddie yoga for you lot. Picture: Anthony Reginato

It is expensive—but somehow you’re hypnotised into thinking you should wear the pain. It eats your time, and the golden free time of your kids.

It keeps you on the hook and feeling nervous, that if you don’t buy into it you may fail your precious children and maybe hold them back for life.

And it’s pervasive—everyone else seems to be into it and not complaining about the extra energy, cash and feigned parental interest it requires…So if you feel it’s over-rated, like the Emperor’s new clothes, well, the problem must be you.

It is After School Activities, and as of now I am declaring a one-woman war.

I don’t care if it’s unfashionable to diss the idea that if little Titus doesn’t do his archery, or classical piano, chess club, hip-hop, gospel or golf, he may be missing out on the enrichment opportunity of his little life.

I don’t mind if I’m seen as shirking my responsibility to promote the idea that offering a “broad range of experiences”—in climate-controlled comfort, with crash-mats and a uniform—is not only a parental duty, but doing macaroon cooking of a Wednesday, quilting Thursdays and Budocan Mondays and Fridays is little Ruby’s right.

As the common online catch-cry goes, I call bulls—t on the whole idea that our hovering, panicking, over-extended, over-spending and over-tired generation of parents must run themselves ragged to ensure junior isn’t “missing out”.

I just fail to see the long or short-term benefits of all the rushing, the buying, the trying, the dropping-and-starting-something-new. Extra Curricular Inc, I am flat out daring you to demonstrate that really, this is worth it for me or the kids.

And just how did we get sucked into this Dante’s inferno of endless, sometimes overlapping extras, that keep us running hard and broke?

If I’m sounding a bit cross here, it’s because I am. As the new school year cranks up, and slowly all the millions of kids’ extras resume, I’m struggling to believe I haven’t, for the last 14 years, been the tiniest bit sucked in.

Strike that, unilaterally sucked in by the fear of my kids missing something good—and idea fostered by marketing in the parenting magazines and word of mouth from other well-meaning but, come end of term wrung-out, parents.

In my time as a (borderline obsessive) parent I have signed various of the kids up to the following activities:

* Baby gym (won’t mention the name of the chain, but it pumps out a formularised hour of movement and happy-clappy singing, I reckon I did four years of this, often two classes in a row for babies of different ages, in my suburb at the time you were in the minority if you didn’t).

* Mother-baby swimming lessons (three kids, a year each).

* Toddler music (mother-baby music fun, actually enjoyed that, did it for three years).

* Creative dance (for pre-schoolers and their mothers, sold as a must, must, must-do by some other mothers, but though we were tigers in the jungle, explorers in the desert and fish in the sea, thankfully my boy didn’t get that into it and we didn’t last too long).

* Tiny tennis and then proper, extremely costly tennis lessons (did years of both, the rackets are in the shed).

* Karate—raved about by locals. Lovely “senseis’’ (teachers), but kids didn’t really take to it. Cut-and-costly uniforms, ditto, in the shed.

* School chess club. Short-lived—but on the upside not BYO rainforest timber board.

* Ballet—All the local girls were into it, so she gave it a spin. Five hundred dollars worth of special leotards, ballet and tap shoes later, the teacher was an ogre and we lasted two terms.

* Fun gym for primary girls. Excellent exercise and confidence-building value, she loved this exercise in girl power but sadly they moved suburbs.

* Hip-hop, two tries at that. She liked it and was keen to sign but, but ended up preferring gym. No uniform, so, winning.

* Suzuki piano with one and guitar with one. You have to take notes at the lessons, you get told off if you don’t constantly play the Suzuki CD. Tried so hard to give them a musical head start we even did the arduous holiday programs. One child knows one tune on piano, the other prefers Acca Dacca now on guitar. Piano—you have to buy a real one—is on the market.

* Basketball, all three tied it—two for a couple of years, one for a year or so. None of them had the killer instinct—a relief, to be honest, the noise and smell at the local indoor courts are quite something.

* Milo cricket and AusKick (my husband went to those).

When other mothers raved about a range of unmissable extras in our area I caught myself at various times seriously considering acting, art and animation. I know: sucker.

Thankfully, I came to my senses. Local sports clubs have been fantastic and we’re still heavily involved (cricket, soccer, Little Aths).

But seriously, if one of my children does wake up with the desire to be the next Lleyton, Andre Rieu or Jamie Oliver. . .sorry, they’re going to have to drive themselves.

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38 comments

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    • Richard says:

      05:06am | 07/02/13

      it is sad that families feel pressured to keep up with the “Jones’s”. Day care they keep telling us is expensive , let alone pre school and post school care. So when do parents see their children as Mum/Dad are probably too busy working overtime to pay for all this extra care.

      Reply

    • acotrel says:

      05:40am | 07/02/13

      Don’t you ever interact with your own kids?  Do you ever listen to decent music when they are about or play chess and board games with them?
      My feeling ios that eve ry kid should leasrn to plassu a musica l instrument.  My 7 year old daughter played piano for a while, didn’t like playing scales, so my wife told that she didn’t have to continue.  About 13 years later she went to London on exchange looking after the kids in a prepatory school.  One bleak winter’s night, they were all bored shitless and my daughter found that she could still play the piano.  My two sons have little appreciation of music.  What they listen to is revolting, and they will never listen to anything old and different.  For them it is like their attitude towards eating fish - they were never given it as kids, so as adults they never eat it - their loss !

      Reply

    • Anubis says:

      08:19am | 07/02/13

      acotrel - are these the same kids you admitted to bullying and that, when playing games you would cheat in order to win because you couldn’t begrudge them the experience of being a winner, even occasionally, over their old man?

      Did you know fish is an essential part of a healthy balanced diet? Yet you say “attitude towards eating fish - they were never given it as kids”. Why would that be acotrel?

    • Ohcomeon says:

      11:42am | 07/02/13

      What you listen to is old and revolting, and you never want to listen to anything new and different. smile

    • Fiddler says:

      06:06am | 07/02/13

      “And just how did we get sucked into this Dante’s inferno of endless, sometimes overlapping extras, that keep us running hard and broke?”

      Simple, that small group of mothers who never matured past high school and think that parenting is a contest to outdo each other and try to shame others to satisfy their own childish emotional insecurities.

      Best off ignoring these folk, trusting your own judgement and doing what you think is right. Life is a lot happier that way

      Reply

    • Pattem says:

      12:01pm | 07/02/13

      @Fiddler, you stated: “...insecurities…”

      Summed it up perfectly with that one word.

      wink

    • Justme says:

      06:56am | 07/02/13

      My two get three activities each. One instrument each (they both love it), one sport each (again, both addicted) and swimming (not so keen but I see this as a life skill. When they can swim strongly they can stop).

      So between them we are busy 6 days a week plus daily instrument practice. But how would you choose what activity to stop if you decided to cut back?

      Reply

    • Tubesteak says:

      07:39am | 07/02/13

      Whatever happened to the days of coming home and heading straight out into the backyard to the toybox and grabbning a bat and ball and playing until it was too dark to see or mum had dinner on the table?

      Sometimes we rode bikes on the street and half the neighbourhood kids would be there with us.

      The only times we stayed inside was when there was a thunderstorm.

      Kids these days…or, more aptly, precious helicopter parents these days…....

      Reply

    • Pattem says:

      12:04pm | 07/02/13

      @Tubesteak, you stated: “Whatever happened to the days of coming home and heading straight out into the backyard to the toybox and grabbning a bat and ball and playing until it was too dark to see or mum had dinner on the table?”

      Ah, the good old days!  I remember those.

      What happens to helicopter parents when they run out of petrol?

    • Fiddler says:

      01:39pm | 07/02/13

      “What happens to helicopter parents when they run out of petrol?”

      Divorce, therapy and a lot of scotch

    • Pattem says:

      02:17pm | 07/02/13

      @Fiddler, you stated: “Divorce, therapy and a lot of scotch”.

      In that order?  And is it always Scotch?

    • Not remotely super mum says:

      07:46am | 07/02/13

      Wild and crazy thought here….while there obviously are a lot of people who do put their kids in these activities for the reasons you’ve mention….there may actually be people who do it for different reasons. I know, it’s a revolutionary concept, but bear with me. My kids had no after school activities until they were in year 2 and 6 respectively, the ones they’re in are the ones they chose themselves because they were interested in them. My daughter had played in the school orchestra prior to this - but the vast majority of her time spent playing was just before school and during lunches. Since they’ve started, the atmosphere in the house after school has improved dramatically. There’s no raging arguments taking place when they ask to watch TV it play the play station, because there’s only a day or two during the week when they get time to and I don’t mind half an hour on the computer when they’ve spent the other days getting off their rear ends and doing something outside the house. Remember that, when we were kids? Being somewhere other than their schoolrooms, bedrooms or loungerooms, and having fun? And they love it, I mean they absolutely love it. The minute they say they don’t, they don’t have to do the activity anymore. My daughter didn’t want to be at school at 7.30 to play violin anymore, so we dropped it. My son was uncomfortable with the way the Kru at his Muy Thai class made fun of everyone, so he stuck with it for a bit but ultimately decided to stop. No dramas! I am so thankful for the fact that they are able to do the things they love, when I was their age my family didn’t have the money, and my parents didn’t have the time to take us back and forth to lessons after school so unless I could get myself there, I missed out. The only time ice had to put my foot down is when they had started wanting to book out more than 3 days a week (including weekends) in activities.

      I realise there are many people out there who do treat enrolling their kids in activities like its a competitive sport they’re playing with every other parent out there. After a while you get to spot them pretty quickly - the kid who screams for a full half hour piano lesson that she wants to go home as mum spends more time watching the adult faces in the room to see their reaction than she does listening to the reasons her daughter doesn’t want to do it. The little boy at the fairy ballet class that starts just after my daughters class ends who starts every lesson by asking his mum how much longer he has to do it for. Or the kid in my daughters class at school who practically sleeps through every morning lesson until the sugar kicks in because her mum has booked her up 4 days during the week and she still has a massive study load on top of it and barely ever gets to go out with her friends. That’s terrible, but those cases aren’t the majority. To be honest I suspect the reason you’re so publicly opposed to these activities is because you can’t admit just how sucked in you were (seriously, kinderbeat and mother/son dance classes isn’t something any kid asks for), but that’s no reason to try and tar all parents who let their kids do these classes with the same desperate to be superior brush as yourself.

      Reply

    • Tina says:

      09:22am | 07/02/13

      So, it’s ok to book them out for 3 days a week because they love it, but the poor kid at school booked out for 4 days a week (by Mum of course) is terrible?  Sound like you’re only one activity away from the competitive minorities yourself.  Great that you can provide all these extra curricular activities for your kids - clearly because you didn’t have it as a child (and that may be the real reason that you do it).

    • jec says:

      02:48pm | 07/02/13

      What I got from your very long paragraphs was that your children give up on activities when they don’t like them any more.  I’m hoping they don’t give up on life skills that easily when they grow up!  A better tactic IMO is when a child doesn’t want to continue an activity, to compromise and encourage them to keep trying but they can give up at the end of the term.

      It’s common to have children stop attending an activity purely on the basis of “I don’t like it”.  Well toughen up, life’s like that sometimes.  Persevere and continue, they may end up liking it ... and for the parents sake, at least they get your money’s worth if you pay in advance.

    • Peter says:

      08:03am | 07/02/13

      ... cue the “i hate today’s parents and kids and in my day blah blah blah” crowd.  Because, don’t you know, EVERYTHING was better 50 years ago.  And 50 years before that, even better, and so on and so on until you get to the Middle Ages where, admittedly, things were perhaps not quite so good as now, but that’s only because they had the plague.

      Other than that, great article and spot on!

      Reply

    • Borderer says:

      08:37am | 07/02/13

      Spend time with your kids doing activities, be the football assistant coach or whatever, be active and maybe they won’t have a tub of lard as a role model.
      Outsourcing your parenting can lead to quality issues….

      Reply

    • Pattem says:

      12:20pm | 07/02/13

      @Borderer, I couldn’t have said it better myself “outsourcing your parenting…”

      But a “tub of lard” as a role model is better than no role model because you died of a heart attack.  smile

      By that I mean I agree.  Get active and stave off the heart attack.

      Why pay hundreds of dollars on extra curricular activities when you can walk to the park with your kid(s) and watch them play on the swings?  If the equipment is strong enough you, as the parent, could have some fun as well.

      Why pay hundreds of dollars for something else when you can let kids invite classmates around to run amock in your backyard?

      Why pay hundreds of dollars for something else when you can read a book to your kids?

      Extra curricular activities do have a place and important function in a kid’s life.  Offer them, say, three choices, try-before-buy, then encourage them to stick with it.  This involves interest and communication in what your kid does.

    • martinX says:

      12:47pm | 07/02/13

      Yep. Signed the lad up for U7 soccer and ended up being the coach. Hint: never be the last Dad around when the club head honcho says “right, who wants to be coach of this lot, then?”

      I learned a heck of a lot from those kids, and it was great fun.

    • Tina says:

      09:01am | 07/02/13

      Embarrassed to say I was sucked in completely with Child #1.  Hundreds of $$$ a term so I could spend 45 minutes asking my child to conform to the “circle” activity.  $150 a month for 2 kids to swim in a hot, Nazi run “Leisure Centre”.  I have taken the stand and cancelled the lot.  My kids ride their scooters in the street with the neighbouring children and we go to the pool now for fun.  I learnt to swim by being in the water, not structured, picky lessons with someone else’s kid crying next to me because they don’t want to.  Swimming lessons are horrendous watching the miriad of parents hovering poolside so precious little Benny can feel safe and cherished.  11yo wants a Wilson tennis racket and wants to join a Tennis club since the Open.  Borrow a racket, go to the local courts and wait until you can get a go for free.  Play it until you don’t get bored, and then play some more - and maybe then we can talk Tennis.  I love seeing the kids run around outside playing, and it’s a whole lot easier on the hip pocket.

      Reply

    • baddog says:

      09:36am | 07/02/13

      I think it’s great if you can afford to do these things with your children. My family was too poor for many (any) additional expenses outside of school uniforms, books etc. Also, my mother was very unsupportive of extracurricular activities “Why start when you’ll just quit?”  If you feel under too much pressure to do all these things then perhaps you need to look at your own values and insecurities rather than ‘the system’ being the problem.  Creative dance? If you feel like not attending Creative Dance is a parental fail then you’re really suffering from First World Problems.

      Reply

    • Giordon says:

      11:12am | 07/02/13

      fascinating. A maternal biological imperative to encourage, push and drag one’s chilren through developmental activities to make them “successful”. In the modern world that means 2 or less children, thus eventually eradicating yourself from the gene pool. The exact opposite of “success” in the terms that any other living organism understands. Far better you encourage sloth, teenage pregnancy and welfare dependence.

      Reply

    • Skippy says:

      11:30am | 07/02/13

      I couldn’t agree more Wendy thankyou for sharing! We have just moved back to the city from the country, have two school aged children and I am about to commence full time work in the city (actually 4 days,yay). I have refused for years to but into all the ‘extras’ I have let them choose what interests them and really think about it. Our son is seven and is obsessed with motorbikes, yes this is costly but he looks after his motorbike and gear to a point that makes me proud. He tried soccer but it didn’t last, he loves swimming and we have had him in lessons since he was very young. We have a pool so this is a must and great exercise. Our daughter at nine is a passionate swimmer also so lessons/squads for her and she adores dancing so she does ballet. That’s it. Two is their limit as they take up a lot of $‘s and time. It is all we can sustain as a family and they are happy with that as they are passionate about both activities and really at this age how much passion for this stuff can they have?
      We value family time as it can be hectic in our house so we have deliberately tried to make the weekends not too hectic, picnics and catching up with friends and family are a high priority for us and at the end of the day the other stuff you can replace, but family time is so precious…and free grin

      Reply

    • SKA says:

      11:38am | 07/02/13

      My folks weren’t big on loading up my brother and I with activities, they used to send us out even in the rain with raincoats and gumboots to play. That said, both of us did a pretty good job of loading ourselves up. We both learnt tennis as tinies because it was seen as a social skill (waste of money, may have been a social skill in the past, not now), we both learnt piano because from the second each of us were old enough, we pestered our parents to let us - weren’t allowed to start lessons until 7 years old. I still play. My brother stopped quite young but now plays the guitar (self taught). My brother played soccer. I did ballet and then quit that for netball. Swimming lessons were probably the only activity we didn’t choose ourselves - a mandatory. Our parents wanted us both to be very strong swimmers, and we are. By high school, we both picked our activities. My brother played rugby and tennis, and did cadets and debating and did a couple of theatre plays. I played netball and waterpolo, was in choir, debating and a couple of musicals. I feel sorry for our folks racing around after us… I think they were glad when we got to high school and could catch the train or drive ourselves to activities…

      Reply

    • SAm says:

      11:42am | 07/02/13

      Good article. It starts before school though. i come home to hear my wife complain almost everyday at not having time to do anything..with all the damn activities she takes our kids too.
      Sorry, the kids love them, but wont miss most of it, as long as you just play with them.

      Reply

    • St. Michael says:

      11:44am | 07/02/13

      Part of this is the myth of early exposure, the idea that the more intellectual activities you force your kid into at an early age, the more intelligent or successful they’ll be in life.  Firstly, there is no such statistical data.  Secondly, per “Freakonomics” it’s an error of correlation.

      The closer correlation, if not causative element in success of children rests solely on whether you’re the sort of parent who would seriously consider these activities—not whether your kid does them or not.  If you are that sort of parent, statistically you’re likely to be the sort of parent who takes a genuine and continuing interest in their kids, which means over their childhood you’re far more likely to send the kids to school, make them do their homework and generally set a good example.  Just the fact you’re concerned for your kids that correlates closer with success—not the kid doing massive numbers of activities.

      There’s an old proverb that sums it up: “The farmer’s shadow makes the best fertiliser”.  And bear in mind that if you have your kid doing hundreds of different activities, you’re actually spending less meaningful time with them getting to know them.

      There’s also the unspoken element here, what I’d call the “Tiger Woods” ghost—the insecurity that if your kid isn’t building massively on certain inborn talents from an early age they won’t be the best in the world.  It’s built on all those promo tapes of Tiger hitting golf balls around when he was 4 years old or so.  And so we run around madly trying to find that one special undiscovered talent our kid has that will make them a number one in ... well, anything.

      The response to that fear is: Tiger Woods.  Seen what sort of a person he is lately? Serial womaniser, i.e. dishonest to his wife, unafraid to break promises? Destroyed his own reputation? The sort of guy who admits in interviews that he was trained from infancy to “Win”, that this was the only important thing in life? That, I would suggest, is the type of person you become by compulsively pushing a kid to the limits of their “inborn talent”.  You gain much, perhaps, but you lose so much more.

      And what about your own kid? What about how they feel? Andre Agassi did a recent interview: said until a few years ago he hated the hell out of tennis! That most of his “irreverent” behaviour in tennis was him acting out his rebellion against having to do this sport he didn’t actually care for at all from an early age - that he retired early because of it.  I dunno about you, but that sounds to me like twenty years or so of a wasted life.  If Agassi’s father wanted him to be happy, this seems a pretty shit way to go about doing it…

      Reply

    • NSS says:

      12:38pm | 07/02/13

      Agassi’s father didn’t want him to be happy, he wanted him to be successful.

      Agree with you, St Mick. It’s not just Tiger Woods though, it’s “Tiger Mother Syndrome”,ie parents (yes, I’ll say it, often Asian, where the description comes from) who push their kids academically and in other pursuits, ie music)  in order for them to succeed, neglecting on the way to raise a well-rounded, adaptable, sociable, HAPPY human being. Success financially is their only measure. If I had a penny for every doctor or lawyer who wished they’d studied another subject, or who had had some discretionary leisure time during their youth I’d be a rich woman.

    • Pattem says:

      01:19pm | 07/02/13

      @ St. Michael

      I think your favourite word this week is ‘correlation’ smile

      There is a fine line between encouraging children to ‘give’ their best, as opposed to ‘being’ the best - a win at all cost, mentality.

      There is another old saying: “it is better to have tried and failed, then never to have tried at all.”  It doesn’t matter if we don’t win, just so long as we can hold our heads high and say, “Well, I gave it my best.”  I think our Olympic swim team has forgotten this (poor losers or what!).

      And the motto from my old school: “Age Quod Agis”, or, “Whatever you do, do it well.” 

      You stated: “if you have your kid doing hundreds of different activities, you’re actually spending less meaningful time with them getting to know them.”

      Communication and demonstrative affection with our kids is so much more important than ‘activities’.  I look forward to being able to do this with my daughter when she is born in the next couple of weeks!

      As a parent we need to question why we do the things we do.  Are the decisions we make on behalf of our kids for our benefit, or our childrens’?

      BTW, St. Michael, you sound like you are/would be a well-considered parent.

    • Pattem says:

      01:31pm | 07/02/13

      @NSS

      It sounds like you have read the book Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mother by Amy Chua.

      My HK wife has a similar mentality toward parenting (for when our daughter arrives in this world very soon), but whoa, Amy Chua takes it to the extreme.  There’s probably something to be learned about disciplined output from Chua’s book, but it certainly needs to be tempered.

      What I learned from Chua’s book is that there is a time for work and that there should be a time for play.

      NSS stated: “Agassi’s father didn’t want him to be happy, he wanted him to be successful.”

      Happiness or success…is one more important than the other?  Is there a balanced midpoint between the two?

    • DC, AKA Proud Teacher says:

      03:41pm | 07/02/13

      Insightful comment, St Michael.  I had written you off but will reconsider, particularly given your reference to one of my favourite books.

      I have never understood the mentality of those who think they are only being ‘good parents’ through constant giving of material things and constant enrolling in different programs. It seems obsessive, as though they are afraid of time alone with their child where they may need to interact and ‘teach’ through everyday activities.

    • St. Michael says:

      03:55pm | 07/02/13

      @ Pattem: Actually, my favourite word this week is “moist”.  Last week’s favourite was “pachyderm.”  I’m taking suggestions for next week. wink

    • Pattem says:

      04:13pm | 07/02/13

      @St. Michael

      I honour of your usage of ‘punga’ last week, can I suggest some continent hopping and try to get ‘Afrormosia’ into one of your posts.

      wink

    • Pattem says:

      04:18pm | 07/02/13

      @St. Michael

      Actually, I think a better challenge would be to see if you can get these words into a single post:

      Fanfaron
      Ambit
      Schadenfreude

      Good luck!  :0

    • Pattem says:

      05:27pm | 07/02/13

      @St. Michael, not sure if I’ve been rejected by the Punch, so if this is a double-up, I apologise in advance.

      I suggest that, in light of your usage of ‘punga’ last week, that you could do some cross-continental hopping, and use:

      Afrormosia

      Can you get that into a post?

      Alternatively, I challenge you to get the following three words into a single post:

      Fanfaron
      Schadenfreude
      Ambit

      If you can get these into a single post then I’ll nominate you for the Nosebleed Section.

      smile

    • Benevolent Rapscallion says:

      12:19pm | 07/02/13

      Thank goodness my parents were normal. My brother and I were allowed one sport at a time each that was held outside of school hours - we had a summer sport and a winter sport. We were allowed to take part in other sports and music lessons that were held in school time and we weren’t forced to participate in something we didn’t like.

      Reply

    • Richard McDonald says:

      12:36pm | 07/02/13

      First World problems are such a darn hassle…why can’t we just return to the days of fetching water from the well and eating lard.

      Reply

    • Anonymous says:

      02:04pm | 07/02/13

      Funnily enough fifty years ago it wasn’t necessarily that different. My mum never made us do any after school activities (unless we asked to), because she did so much as a kid that she hated it. That was in the 50s and 60s. Just goes to show that matter what time period you live in, you always have to find balance and do what’s right for your family. My Mum said that she always wanted us to have experiences and be part of the world. But she also valued free play etc. So I guess that’s the key.

      Reply

    • Lorraine says:

      04:00pm | 07/02/13

      Bravo Wendy. I hope you encourage thousands of parents to give this ärtificial play”  the big heave ho.
      All day these kids are in school being told what to do, they earn the right to some free time where they can make decisions of their own.
      Keep writing about it. Keep talking about it and STOP doing it.

      Reply

    • Julie says:

      04:25pm | 07/02/13

      Brilliant article.

      Reply
 
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122

Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?

I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…

Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”

by Sarrah Le Marquand

251

Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”

In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…

Nosebleed Section

choice ringside rantings

From: Hasbro, go straight to gaol, do not pass go

Tim says:

They should update other things in the game too. Instead of a get out of jail free card, they should have a Dodgy Lawyer card that not only gets you out of jail straight away but also gives you a fat payout in compensation for daring to arrest you in the first place. Instead of getting a hotel when you… [read more]

From: A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go

Kel says:

If you want a festival for older people or for families alike, get amongst the respectable punters at Bluesfest. A truly amazing festival experience to be had of ALL AGES. And all the young "festivalgoers" usually write themselves off on the first night, only to never hear from them again the rest of… [read more]

Light weight

Gentle jabs to the ribs

Superman needs saving

Superman needs saving

Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more

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